【攒RP帖】GRE作文我是如何拿到5的， 附全部个人练笔

erencieUID: 3311178

其实我GRE是去年年底考的，当时考完很累，又在忙着申请大学，没有机会写一篇总结。但是说真的，准备GRE的备考过程，本身就是一段值得回忆的人生经验。筒子们，不要把GRE当成一件让人痛苦的事去做，而要想想过程中的所获所得，这样子你的学习效率会更高，而且你不仅仅是在准备一个考试，更学到了很多东西，打开了一个新的视野去看待。

1）选用好的工具去准备复习。

   我们生活在一个有各种方便学习工具的年代，应该好好利用这些东西来准备GRE。在这里我推荐以下几种我用过的：

• 有道词典 （这个APP可以装在手机上，可以装在电脑上，不管android/iOS还是windows/Mac都有版本，里面最有用的是一个叫有道单词本的东西，记过的单词，可以储存起来，随时随地都可以看，还可以自行customize测试题）
• 你的手机里的各种GRE做题程序。尤其推荐iPad上一款叫GRE+, 由Arcadia Prep, Inc准备的数学题。非常好。
• EverNote （一个我放在iPad上可以随时记作文灵感的app，手机上也有，记录了所有的作文题，没事翻出来一个看看然后想points）
  

2）浏览有用的网站

• 寄托，chasedream这些国内知名的准备gre的网站我就不提了
• 推荐Magoosh (http://magoosh.com/gre/) 网站。这个网站真的非常好。大家应该去看。比什么Kaplan, Princeton Review来得好多，对GRE的分析很到位，很细腻。
  

3）看英文的一些新闻
     比较简单的英文文章可以在The Atlantic, Good Magazine, New York Times看到。还有比较晦涩难懂的，譬如Barnes & Noble Review。鉴于GRE经常时不时考一些book review的文章，看这个会有帮助。

啊。。。有点扯题了。我好想本来应该讨论作文的，结果讨论成笼统的整个gre了。。。好吧，我现在开始讲我怎么准备作文的。

1）首先是搜集材料。
    写GRE作文里面有一个很有用的论证方法就是举例论证。当然有很多更抽象的方法可以来证明我们的观点。但是举例论证无疑是最容易的。那么例子从哪里来呢？
   与其去学习其他GRE作文的例子，不如自己搜集例子，这样可以避免抄袭。而且自己得来的资料自己也比较熟悉。不会说临时忘记时间人物地点什么的。
    例子不宜多。太多记不住。每个分类的记录几个正的反的。
    比如，关于政治家的ethic problem，可以用克林顿，或者尼克松来做例子。
    每个分类都应该有自己的例子。政治有政治的例子。历史有历史的例子。教育有教育的例子。
    如果能用时下最新新闻里报道的一些事来做例子，那是再好不过。让改卷人耳目一新，而不是一直看着那几个翻来覆去反复使用的旧故事。

2）分类准备points
    这里我强烈推荐大家去用《谁来拯救我的GRE ISSUE》一书。寄托里有人分享下载。
    当然，我没有那么多的时间，去整本看完。我主要是看它的分类。一共有五大分类：历史文化传播， 思想文化行为，成长学习教育，政治法律社会，科技生活时代。每个大分类之下，又把类似的文章分成几个小类别。所以，只要这些小类别，你都去想想一些points，正反的观点。然后看看你那几个自己备用的例子能不能adapt上去，就相当于整个题目你已经提前审题好了。
     我来一个example吧：
     -- 关于政治家的道德， 有以下两个小题目：
    104: To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards. (Claim)

         107: To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards. (Statement)


我的提纲是这样的：
Introduction: I fundamentally agree that public officials must adhere to high ethical and moral standards which are beneficial to the their leadership as well as the society, although it is not their political duty to pursue the highest uprightness in morality.

• First of all, public morality and successful leadership are for sure closely connected.
  • Consider many leaders, such as Hitler, whom most people would agree were egregious violators of public morality -> such leaders forfeit their leadership as a result of the immoral means by which they obtained or wielded their power.
  • Watergate scandal (a break-in into Democratic National Committee offices before American election and the subsequent attempts in cover-up by Nixon;  Nixon administration's abuse of power toward the goal of undermining political opposition). President Nixon, whose contempt for the very legal system that afforded him his leadership led to his forfeiture of it.
    
• The leader has a social responsibility to be morally upright in order to set a good example for the society
  • All the people who deal with him, whether those working under him or the common people , look up to him. He has responsibilities that he has to fulfill. Such an official needs to be exemplary by setting moral standards . This is because a good leader should act as a motivator and the best motivation to adhere to rules and regulations can be provided by a leader if he practices the regulations himself.
  • Bill Clinton: Although he was involved in the Lewinsky Scandal , he was considered to be an effective leader. But immorality is very infectious and could creep into the system very quickly . Thus people who would not support my stand could have Mr. Clinton as an excuse for being effective without being a man of morals and integrity. If moral values are compromised by leaders or if they are found to be involved in scandals , their image is smeared in the eyes of the people . Their decisions are scrutinized and their motives will be doubted. This would lead to ineffective leadership. He could have been a more effective leader if he would not have been involved in such a scandal. He admitted his mistake and finally he ,too stuck to morality to salvage his lost pride .
    
• However, it is unrealistic to demand highest or complete pureness in politicians' morality.
  
  • In Machiavellians' political thoughts, it is of most importance for politicians to maintain his power and orderliness of the state instead of pursuit of justice.
    
    • Politicians are ruling a world which is itself not morally good.
      
  • Some prominent figures lie, not for self-serving reasons, but in attempt to secure what they saw as morally important political goals.
    
    • In those elections, you can't expect whatever the candidate says is true. They are using political tactics or tricks to convince the electorate to vote for them.
      
  • As long as ... then it is okay.
    

这个提纲可能过于详细了。但是你要知道，经常这样去brainstorm，有时候一个题目总是忍不住就会有很多想法，于是灵感就来了。东西也写出来了。

erencieUID: 3311178

再给一个比较难的提纲，关于艺术的。同样，是《谁来拯救我的GRE ISSUE》那本书的一个分类，叫“艺术与可理解性”。
55: In order for any work of art—for example, a film, a novel, a poem, or a song—to have merit, it must be understandable to most people. (Statement)

Introduction: I fundamentally disagree with the claim because there are many invaluable artistic works which are not understood by most common people. （首先想好自己的立场）

        1. The artists might be ahead of time and produce works which are not appreciated and understood by contemporary people. （灵感来了，记下）
                1. Visual arts, Vincent van gogh. （凡高的例子。这个例子去wikipedia熟悉一下，以后艺术的题还可以重复用）
                2. Nowadays people appreciate the impressive strokes and colors used in his paintings. Many works received high acclaims such as the starry night.
                3. However his works were ignored when he was alive.

        2. The artistic beauty of a good piece of work might be appealing even though people do not truly understand it's meaning.
                1. song can be merited even if its lyrics are not understandable. The music of the song can be appealing even though it is in a different language. The synthesis of sounds of various musical instruments can create an extremely mellifluous tune attracting people and surpassing the fact that they do not understand its meaning. This explains songs being popular globally.
                2. People feel the emotions, although they interpret it differently in mixture with their emotions.

        3. Sometimes the merits of a work can only be judged by select group of  people.
                1. Shakespeare's works.
                2. There are very few people who understand Shakespeare’s plays in its original form. Yet it is truly known work of merit. This is because people need a level of literary skills to be able to comprehend it. This brings it to a higher than the ordinary literary works and sets it apart. The very fact that most people cannot understand some literary works grants it merit, as it needs skill to understand it.

erencieUID: 3311178

还有法律方面的提纲，一个小分类叫“不公平的法律”：

Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.

Introduction: I fundamentally agree that we should obey just laws and stand against unjust laws, though the definitions of 'just' and 'unjust' should not clearly stated.

Just: agreed by the majority of rational adults and has an intended purpose to maintain stability and prosperity of the society.

Unjust: disagreed by majority and are meant to harm the society as a whole.

• People need to strictly abide by the just laws to ensure orderliness of the society, and consequently benefit each of us.
  

• speed limit in highways. Anyone violating it must be fined or jailed.
• Need to obey to ensure safety and well being of all road users.
  

  2. Some laws are based on racial or gender discrimination and are inherently unfair.

• Women in Islamic countries
• According to no. 308 in Jordanian criminal laws, rapist can be exonerated if he wants to marry with the victim. Otherwise, killed by her brother or father to protect the reputation of the family.
• The women are not treated equally as men. They have very little freedom and those women who breach the laws are inflicted various punishments. If they submissively accept these baseless restrictions then their life would become even more miserable. The women there need to open there eyes and protest against these biased rules.
• laws never consider the well-being of women.
  

3. Some Laws are meant to protect the interests of the authority, instead of the people.

• China prohibit public to protest, even if it is peaceful.Disallow people to voice out their own opinions on governments.
• This is to force people to accept whatever the government has done and citizens have no right to complain or protest when they think it is wrong.
  

Conclusion. Most people would naturally respond with outrage to unjust laws which violate the common moral standards.

erencieUID: 3311178

3）以上讲了怎么去搜集材料，怎么去根据文章分类来brainstorm和列提纲。不过最重要的，是你要有几次练笔的机会。
     很多人因为对写作文本身就有一种恐惧感，总觉得“不知道怎么写啊”，于是迟迟不去动笔。这是错误的。从来不去尝试，根本找不到感觉，就算你列再多的提纲，看再多的范文，也很难有那种考场上笔很顺的感觉。
     另外一个极端的情况是，不停的写，不停的写，却从来不去问自己有哪些地方需要improve，这也是错误的。对于语法错误，当然找个朋友帮忙看一下是没问题。但是有一些逻辑上的错误，其实平时不一定要直接把作文给朋友看（朋友可能很忙），而是跟朋友讨论一下，这样一个题目，我这样一个思路，逻辑对不对，好不好，会不会很幼稚，会不会很怪，有没有更让人耳目一新的表达手法，等等。
   
     关于开写，最需要把握的是自己的时间。
     有两种写作时间的掌控方法。
     3.1）一种是按部就班。先花五分钟涉及全文思路，然后开始introduction, paragraph 1, paragraph 2那样写个梗概。例子先不写。论证先不写。但是有个文章的枝干在那里。直到所有的points都列出来了，开始填进去例子和论证。
     3.2）有些人容易在introduction那里卡半天。这种情况我建议直接开始写paragraph 1，然后文章轴心部分写完了，回头填一个introduction。可以避免浪费时间在introduction上，导致文章主干部分没时间写。

我个人是属于3.2比较适用的。大家可以根据自己的情况酌情进行处理。

erencieUID: 3311178

以下开始贴个人练笔。

教育篇：

First part, from college student perspective.
20: Some people believe that college students should consider only their own talents and interests when choosing a field of study. Others believe that college students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field. (Which view)

32: College students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field. (Claim)

39: College students should be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than the courses that seem most likely to lead to jobs. (recommendation)

129: College students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field. (recommendation)


Second part, from educator's perspective.

15: Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers. (Claim)

98: Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study in which jobs are plentiful. (Policy)

135: Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers. (Policy)

136: Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study in which jobs are plentiful. (Claim)







Many would-be college students feel torn between choosing a major that is more likely to lead to good money or better job prospects and choosing a major that they find particularly interesting. I recommend that one’s interests and talents could be the primary factor in deciding one’s field of study, as long as it is where the student’s true passion lies in. However, the information of related career prospects could also be used as a supplement in making up one’s mind.



First of all, a student’s interests drive her to explore deeper in the subject and her talents enable her to excel more easily. History is replete with examples of how some extraordinary individuals succeed by persistently following their true passions and working hard to realize their dreams. Charles Darwin, the English naturalist in 19thcentury, already developed his fascination towards nature at the age of eight—he spent a lot of time doing bird-watching and collecting beetles in his father’s gardens. Such a childhood passion leads him to become a famous systematic naturalist. It is generally accepted that interests and talents are critical in one’s success in any fields. So does college education. Without interests, a student has no motivation to work hard on the subject; and without talents, she need to struggle with the works, which further demoralizes her. In universities, I often see students who study simply for the purpose of passing the exams. They copy other students’ homework in order to submit before the deadline; or perhaps less egregiously, they study only notes with highlighted exam points while giving up reading books rich in content of the subject. After the exam is over, they throw away the notes and forget everything about the course. As a result, they could have at best average performance in the course they choose, which affect their career prospects subsequently. Therefore, I disagree students to choose something they are neither interested in nor good at, just because those lead to potentially lucrative jobs.



However, a student must also be aware of the unemployment rate of his chosen majors. If a student chooses a major which looks fun and interesting, but sadly lead to very bleak career prospects, she might suffer a lot after four years. Currently in Facebook there is a popular quote from a business man saying that, “I don’t always talk to arts and literature students; but when I do, I tell them a big Mac with no onions.” This is to mock literature students who cannot find employment and have to work as waiters in McDonald’s. This is indeed quite sad for students who have passions in literature. Of course, those students with rich fathers do not need to concern about this problem. However, for the majority of students who come from middle-classed families or even poorer ones, it would be a bit cruel to encourage them to learn the difficult Shakespeare’s works, while knowing that after four years of hard works they might end up living in a meager wage. The recently increasing college tuition fees are making this situation even worse, as many students are burdened with more than 100k tuition loans upon graduation. Therefore, it seems that students should not choose something which might lead to their unemployment and financial difficulties upon graduation. This might be in conflict with my first point.



In fact, the extreme scenario of unemployment should not be taken so seriously that a student weigh it more heavily than her interests and talents. This is because the job market is always changing and sometimes unpredictable. When one says that students should look at the availability of jobs, one overlooks the fact that the job market consists of both job offers and job seekers. While it is possible to predict, though not so accurately, the trend of job offers in the future, based on the development of different industry sectors in the nation, one can hardly predict the change in the number of job seekers. Consider the college admission of computer science major. Ten years ago the number of students choosing this major surged due to the booming computing industry; then suddenly the number dropped and the schools soon realized that students were worried about IT outsourcing to India and China; but now the number came up gradually again that the NetworkWorld magazine put “Want a job? Get a Computer Science degree” as its headline. If a student bases her major choice on the job availability, she would be disappointed that things might change after her four years’ college studies. This is even more insecure than basing her decision on her talents and interests.



In a final analysis, I would encourage students to pursue their interests and talented fields, rather than looking at the current trend in the job market. For some of the majors which are always less demanded by the job market, such as the Literature, there are always some approaches to hedge the risk of unemployment. For example, students can choose double majors. In this way, she can always land a good job with another major and wait until she can find her dream job. There are always ways to work out for people who have true passions in certain things. Keep your dreams and you would lead a successful life on one day.






(from educator's perspective, take away the first paragraph on interests and state the responsibility of education institutions.)
Stance: agree but educators also need to be aware of the influence of their words.


Firstly, no doubt it is important to have job security. (original second paragraph)
Second, the job market is always changing. (original third paragraph)
Thirdly, education institutions need to consider what the society needs as well.
High school graduates do not know the true picture of most college majors and most of them do not really have the enthusiasm towards a particular field. The majority of them have their opinions strongly influenced by stereotypes portrayed in mass media. Performing artists are fun, businessmen are powerful and engineers are boring geeks. This trend is partially attributed to the current fact that there are 8.5 liberal arts students for every 1 engineering major student in USA.  

erencieUID: 3311178

第二篇，政治篇。

The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.

Which of these defines a great nation, the achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists, or the general welfare of its people?  I personally think that welfare, defined by societal support for basic housing, education and medical system, weighs more as one of the many indicators of a great nation, because it concerns the life of each single citizen of that country. Yet these two aspects are not entirely unrelated; the achievements of spectacular individuals also contribute partly to the general welfare, while a society with good standards of living allows artists and scientists to focus more on their career aspirations.
Admittedly, a nation’s prosperity always accompanies with great achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists. One who knows history would not deny the greatness of ancient Roman Empire: there were the famous writers such as Horace and Cicero; there were the sagacious rulers who set the Roman law, which was influential to European legal system for thousands of years; there were the ingenious engineers and architects who built great constructions such as the Colosseum. Even though there were numerous slaves who had lived in dire conditions in Roman, we still remember the Empire as a great nation for its contributions to modern politics, arts and science. In fact, from a historical perspective, when one is asked how he defines an ancient empire’s greatness, his first response would probably be listing out the achievements of its rulers, artists and scientists appearing in that era. This indicates that people have unconsciously regard great achievements of spectacular individuals as one important barometer of a nation’s greatness, regardless of how we argue against it.

However, in modern terms, if a nation has great achievements in these realms, yet leaves its citizens living with poor welfare, it cannot become, or remain as, a great nation. For example, the Soviet Union had remarkable achievements in the space technology and weaponry in the 20th century; but the living standards of its average citizen lagged far behind of those of the average citizen of a Western state. The nation’s collapse in 1991 indicated that the government’s pursuit of cutting-edge technology is definitely insufficient in ensuring a nation’s survival, let alone greatness. Even the Roman Empire in previous example also declined gradually due to the loss of civic virtue throughout society. If each average citizen is facing difficulty in obtaining basic needs, on a large scale there would be a majority of people who feel unhappy and insecure about their lives. This would damage the nation’s whole well-being and thus rule it out from the list of great nations.

Last but not least, the two indicators are influencing each other: a nation who does well in general welfare provides a platform for aspiring artists and scientists to attain achievements, while the achievements of political leaders contribute to the general welfare of people. If each citizen is receiving a well-financed education, he would be given opportunity to develop his own talents and ultimately he may choose a career in arts or science. If each citizen can easily afford housing or medical treatment by using earnings of their own hard work, he would feel secure about his own life and thus concentrate more on his work to contribute to the society. On the other hand, great rulers also help in improving the welfare of its populace. It is through the government’s good economic, diplomatic and social strategies can the citizens be guaranteed to live in a well-protected and stable society.

In the final analysis, among a myriad of indicators which measure a nation’s greatness, general welfare might be a more important one because it determines a nation’s general well-being. However, it is supported and influenced by the achievements of rulers in the nation. At the same time, a good living standard also allows people to focus on arts and science developments. Altogether they make a great nation.

crazyrobinUID: 2368627

你还要继续更新吗？不更新的话我插个楼，3.1) 3.2)的写作方法跟Magoosh里面video讲解的差不多哈。
两篇作文写的很好。
另外Cong Waterloo offer!!!

EnolateUID: 3283311

楼主发完了？ 政治那篇和楼主想得差不多……表达肯定达不到>< 学习之~
谢谢分享！祝贺~

zhouyu123031UID: 3181463

感谢分享~

mrdebaterUID: 3411344

erencie 发表于 2013-2-12 00:11
第二篇，政治篇。

The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of ...

One who knows history would not deny the greatness of ancient Roman Empire: there were the famous writers such as Horace and Cicero; there were the sagacious rulers who set the Roman law, which was influential to European legal system for thousands of years; there were the ingenious engineers and architects who built great constructions such as the Colosseum.


=========

很熟悉的人物，难得在同学习作中看到~~~:handshake
@erencie童鞋，
请问你是什么专业？

erencieUID: 3311178

第三篇，历史篇。

Claim: Knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions today.
Reason: We are not able to make connections between current events and past events until we have some distance from both.

When North Koreans are blindly worshiping Kim Jong Il, the country’s leader, and suffering from severe poverty brought by his dictatorship, they simply do not associate what they are doing now to the similar conditions under Mao’s governing of China before 1980s. From this example, it seems true that humans sometimes could not connect current events with past events, especially when they are participants of current events. But does this infer that our understanding of the past events do not help us in making important decisions today? I would say no. An objective understanding of history, though not a panacea for today’s problems, is helping all rational individuals to avoid repeating mistakes and to understand human nature.

First of all, if a person is taught an objective understanding of history, he can make sensible judgment when he faces a similar current situation; otherwise he cannot. （这一段我不是不小心分成小段的。我是想，一个大的point放成一个block of text。然后里面的小例子再分小段。这是我的个人风格。其实GRE作文没有严格要求必须是怎么分段，主要是看我们自己最后成文的逻辑，所以平时看一下英文母语的人的写作方式，你会发现其实很多中方法都可以，不用那么rigid)
Consider again the example at the beginning, perhaps only after one hundred years could the North Koreans find out similarities between their current era and China’s pre-1980s. But this is because the people are currently not given opportunities to learn the recent history of China in an unbiased way, as their government would not let them know any bad sides of being led by a dictator. This, on the contrary, emphasizes the importance of history.
Consider also the situations in most developed countries which allow citizens to freely spread information and learn history: when certain social problems emerge, there are always critics who stand out to compare and contrast the problems with past similar ones in the history and exhort politicians and regulators to take certain actions.
The above examples prove that understanding history correctly and objectively could help people to make connections between current events and past events, without the need of waiting for the former to become history itself; and an ignorance of history’s true picture makes people unable to do so, let alone of making judicial decisions on today’s events based on history.

Secondly, history informs us the mistakes or failed attempts humans have made in the past, and thus teaches us not to repeat them when we come to make important decisions on current events. If we know that some social ideologies have been proved to fail in the past, why do we bother try it again? For example, Robert Owen, one of the fervent proponents for the once popular utopian socialism in early 19th, purchased a land to do community experiment to test the practicality of this ideology. But the experiment turned out to be a failure. One straightforward reason is that, in a society of public property, the slackers can always enjoy the fruits of others—so no one work. If political leaders can interpret this historical experiment correctly and thoroughly, he would become very careful and suspicious when directing the society to pursue the socialist ideal. Therefore, knowing about the past helps people to think deeper on the current social directions, and thus makes better decisions on a societal level.

Another important lesson history can teach us is human nature. Napoleon, the famous French military leader, once said, “History paints the human heart”. Through study of human history we learn the basic human nature—our desires and motives, as well as our fears and foibles. History is replete with examples of how compromise and mutual understanding result in happy win-win situations, how violent suppression evokes rebellions, how selfishness and greed lead to isolations by others, and how jealousy leads to one’s disastrous life. Through learning of each of these facts, we could understand ourselves better and discern cause-and-effect relationships between human nature and behaviors. In this way, we become aware of possible consequences of different kinds of our behaviors. This helps us in making judicial decisions in our everyday life.

In the final analysis, people’s decisions are always influenced by the history taught to them, in one way or another, unless they do not acknowledge the importance of history or not understand history in a disinterested way. By presenting the past mistakes humans have made, as well as how human nature causes certain historical events, history contributes to our everyday decisions in a varying degree, from personal to societal level.

erencieUID: 3311178

mrdebater 发表于 2013-2-12 11:21
One who knows history would not deny the greatness of ancient Roman Empire: there were the famou ...

计算机专业。。。。。

这两个人物是我在《谁来拯救我的GRE ISSUE》里面大概看到。然后我自己去上网搜这些人名，得到了更详尽的资料后，就能用自己的语言描述出来了。

erencieUID: 3311178

crazyrobin 发表于 2013-2-12 00:28
你还要继续更新吗？不更新的话我插个楼，3.1) 3.2)的写作方法跟Magoosh里面video讲解的差不多哈。
两篇作文 ...

谢谢啦～～
那个写作方法你猜对了=_="我就是在magoosh上面看了这个，觉得对我自己用处特别大，所以写出来让那些没机会看到的同学们看。

qwe1__rty2UID: 3399223

erencie 发表于 2013-2-12 11:54
第三篇，历史篇。

Claim: Knowing about the past cannot help people to make important decisions tod ...

请问你每一类写了多少篇？

erencieUID: 3311178

qwe1__rty2 发表于 2013-2-12 12:07
请问你每一类写了多少篇？

一篇。

其实一篇就够了。已经找到那个类别的文章的感觉了。