issue130,关于孩子教育问题，请大家看看，谢谢

coolwitsUID: 149150

130 "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
现在孩子社会化的方式决定了社会的命运。可惜的是，我们还没有学会怎样教导出能建设一个更好的社会的孩子们。
同意;
1.记忆和创造性的倒置;
2.为了所谓的前途忽视了对孩子个人兴趣的培养
3.对成功的过分强调,给了孩子们太大的压力
.  How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Children are tomorrow’s master, who will do the job of constructing and operating society after being engaged into it. While the method of raising children today bringing to them the quality by which they can do their job, it is the reasonability that determines whether the job can be done well. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
First, schools and teachers emphasize too much on the ability of memorizing rather than creating. Schools and teachers tend to evaluate the ability of children by their performance in examinations, most of which are set to test students’ memory. On the contrary, creativity, a vital quality of students, which determines much in the long run, receives less attention than it deserves. Actually, creativity is step by step going away from the children who are educated in schools. While I was in high school, I was for a long time ranked low by many teachers, because I got plaint marks in their courses. In fact, I just disliked memorizing rigid formulations and examples to play safe in examinations; rather, I was fond of finding unique approaches to problems. No matter how creatively I performed, just like one of my teachers once said, “marks are marks”, and I always received poor evaluation. Finally, I gave up my style and tried to memorize classical methods to meet examinations. Though I got satisfying marks later, I felt quite sad, because I found that I could no longer solve problems in creative ways.
    Secondly, what parents concerns is not whether their children can learn things that they like, but whether their children are taught things that can help them become rich. The parents means will; they just want to their children to major some courses that have a “practical “value—courses that are pre-low, pre-medical, pre-business, or, as I conclude, “pre-rich”. However, Children are really torn in such situation. One part of them feels obligated to fulfill their parents’ expectations; after all their parents are older and presumably wiser. Another part informs them that their should cling to their own interests and ideals, for they know that they can be truly educated and contribute more to society if their do so. Under such pressure, what is of more occurrences is the surrender of children. In that case, children are finally forced by their parents to choose a “safe” road that probably encumbers their development and indirectly impairs their contribution to society.
Thirdly, social worship of success is pushing children too hard. In our society that has involved so much competition, success seems to be the only standard by which one person’s social performance is judged. It is the same with children. For example, a student is always regarded as brilliant and diligent if he gets success in examinations, on the other hand, another one would be thought as stupid and lazy if he fails his examinations. As a result, children are always trying their utmost to gain success. Success, however, can never be distributed to every single individual, so due to the contrast comes the unbalance of children’s spirits. Some children probably lose their confidence after a series failures, supposing themselves to be somewhat silly; others cheat in competitions, deviating from honesty and morality; a few even remove from themselves devotion to the life. They are really driven too far by social worship of success, and a sensible attitude towards failure is always unavailable to them.
In sum, we have actually lost orientation in how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. We never think about things at the perspective of children; what’s worse, we tend to presume ourselves to be wiser and more experienced, and consequently we often make decisions determining children’s future without their authorization. It is high time for us to revise and improve our methods of raising children, in order to cultivate them into truly educated people who can construct a more prosperous society.

fortitudesagUID: 139374

( USING THE CAPITAL WORDS WOULD BE EASILY LEGIBLE, I LEARNED THIS METHOD FROM GENIE05. I WOULD LIKE TO LISTEN TO YOUR OPINION CONCERNING THIS POINT, AND IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THIS, I WILL CHANGE NEXT TIME.)
130 "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
现在孩子社会化的方式决定了社会的命运。可惜的是，我们还没有学会怎样教导出能建设一个更好的社会的孩子们。( 后一句我理解和你不一样：孩子是社会的希望，但我们还没有学会怎样培养他们。）
同意;
1.记忆和创造性的倒置;
2.为了所谓的前途忽视了对孩子个人兴趣的培养
3.对成功的过分强调,给了孩子们太大的压力
. How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Children are tomorrow’s master, who will do the job of constructing and operating society after being engaged into it（CHINGLISH）. While the method of raising children today bringing to them the quality（ THE EDUCATION TODAY WOULD FOSTER THEIR ABILITY ON ........） by which they can do their job, it is the reasonability that determines whether the job can be done well. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

First, schools and teachers emphasize too much on the ability of memorizing rather than creating. Schools and teachers tend to evaluate the ability of children by their performance in examinations, most of which are set to test students’ memory. On the contrary, creativity, a vital quality of students, which determines much (BENEFIT MORE)in the long run, receives less attention than it deserves. Actually, creativity is step by step going away from the children who are educated in schools. While I was in high school, I was for a long time ranked low by many teachers, because I got plaint marks in their courses. In fact, I just disliked memorizing rigid formulations and examples to play safe in examinations; rather, I was fond of finding unique approaches to problems. No matter how creatively I performed, just like one of my teachers once said, “marks are marks”, and I always received poor evaluation. Finally, I gave up my style and tried to memorize classical methods to meet examinations. Though I got satisfying marks later, I felt quite sad, because I found that I could no longer solve problems in creative ways.

Secondly,(FIRST, SECOND, THIRD, .....AT LEAST IN THE SAME FORMAT) what parents concerns is not whether their children can learn things that they like, but whether their children are taught things that can help them become rich. The parents means will; they just want to their children to major some courses that have a “practical “value—courses that are pre-low(LAW), pre-medical(MEDICINE), pre-business, or, as I conclude, “pre-rich”. However, Children are really torn in such situation. One part of them feels obligated to fulfill their parents’ expectations; after all their parents are older and presumably wiser. Another part informs them that their should cling to their own interests and ideals, for they know that they can be truly educated and contribute more to society if their do so. Under such pressure, what is of more occurrences is the surrender of children. In that case, children are finally forced by their parents to choose a “safe” road that probably encumbers their development and indirectly impairs their contribution to society.

Thirdly, (THE SAME PROBLEM AS ABOVE)social worship of success is pushing children too hard. In our society that has involved so much competition, success seems to be the only standard by which one person’s social performance is judged. It is the same with children.(IN THIS PLACE, YOU WOULD USE A CLAUSE OT MAKE THEM LOOK CLOSE) For example, a student is always regarded as brilliant and diligent if he gets success in examinations, on the other hand, another one would be thought as stupid and lazy if he fails his examinations. As a result, children are always trying their utmost to gain success. Success, however, can never be distributed to every single individual, so due to the contrast comes the unbalance of children’s spirits. Some children probably lose their confidence after a series failures, supposing themselves to be somewhat silly; others cheat in competitions, deviating from honesty and morality; a few even remove from themselves devotion to the life. They are really driven too far by social worship of success, and a sensible attitude towards failure is always unavailable to them.

In sum, we have actually lost orientation in how to raise children who can help bring about a better society. We never think about things at the perspective of children; what’s worse, we tend to presume ourselves to be wiser and more experienced, and consequently we often make decisions determining children’s future without their (SELF-INDEPENDENCE)authorization. It is high time for us to revise and improve our methods of raising children, in order to cultivate them into truly educated people who can construct a more prosperous society.

( YOU SHOULD CONCENTRATE ON ONE POINT AND CONQUER IT AND THIS POINT WOULD BE AS SMALL AS POSSIBLE SO THAT THE STRENGTH WOULD BE MORE STIKING.)
(CONTINUE STRIVING......................THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT AND SHINE THOUGH THE ROAD IS FRAUGH WITH TWISTS ANT TRUNS. GOOD LUCK FOR YOU AND EVERY GTER.)

豌豆UID: 144569

从提纲上来看,应该是一篇很精彩的文章
注意一下格式,每一段都空出一行
第1段While the method of raising children today bringing to them the quality by which they can do their job, it is the reasonability that determines whether the job can be done well.  reasonability 这个词是不存在的,所以我不知道你要说什么,好象应该是一种品质,但是从整一段来看,这一句似乎可以省略,而且前半句是明显的一个无谓语语病
第2段,On the contrary, creativity, a vital quality of students, which determines much in the long run, receives less attention than it deservs   determine这个词你已经用了好多遍了,可以考虑换一个词
creativity is step by step going away from the children who are educated in school 不太符合语言习惯,step by step 可以放在最后
I was for a long time ranked low by many teachers, because I got plaint marks in their courses 和上面一样的问题for a long time 可以放在最后.plaint marks ?有这样的用法吗?我查了韦氏,并没有,可以用unsatisfactory 啊
第3段很眼熟
第4段写的不错
最后一段写的也不赖,但美中不足的是最后一句还是不要写比较好，因为你提出了一个新的观点,又没有进行展开.
你的签名档很有意思:)

coolwitsUID: 149150

谢谢fortitudesag和豌豆耐心中肯的批改评价.
to fortitudesag: 批改的时候用大写字母当然比较清楚一些, 我同意阿.不过用中文的话我相信我对批改的理解会更准确,但是如果你不习惯用中文改文章,我当然尊重你的习惯
to 豌豆:While the method of raising children today bringing to them the quality by which they can do their job, it is the reasonability that determines whether the job can be done well. 其实我是想用一个独立主格结构，不过今天看一本说英文修辞的书，上面说独立主格不好把握，很容易看成语法错误，而且用得不好的话根本就是语法错误，看来今后使用要注意，把while改陈with，你看会不会好一点？
ps：我的签名档是走搞笑路线拉，你的是走唯美路线的，嘿嘿，都不错啦

genie05UID: 30358

可以看一下这个
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=136129
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=136785
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=136784

都是关于这个题目讨论的一些东西。