ISSUE25 This is my virgin issue,please give me some advice!3x!

libbyUID: 151455

25.Anyone can make things bigger and more complex.What requires real effort and courage is to move in the opposite direction-in other words,to make things as simple as possible.

  It is well known that making something complex and sensational is so easy to everyone,even if who is a child.However, if we want to make things as simple as possible,which could make common people can reach it,it is so difficult that few people could succeed and must pay lots of efforts on it.Therefore,it is more difficult to make things easier than complex.

  It is a piece of cake to make a sensational event in our times,since there are so many media means that the news can reach everyone right away.Nowadays,people can keep touch with the worlds through the internet,TV,radio,and so on,which make it easy to make bigger events ,especially scandals.It is universal phenominon in entertainment cirles that make some negative news about certain stars in order to improve his or her famous.The campany can make the things complex only to let off some news,such as love scandals, which is so simple,but it arouse many people to pay attention to it.It seems that the thing became so confusing and complex that many people can't understand and discussed it.In the end, it has reached its aim to make the thing bigger and complex.

  On the other hand,if anyone want to make matters simpler and easier to understand as for ordinary people,he or she must work arduously.As for example,in scientific reaserch field,there are so many laws which have too much limited reqiurements to apply them to industrial manufacture.Scientists always want to simple the laws that they can be applied in many fields,however the process is very difficult and most of them could take several years,even more long.So it is evident that it is a long-time and arduous process to make things simpler.Moreover,to make things simpler ,which need bigger courage since a new conception or idea could be accepted by most people,which is a process and need the time to prove.Thus the reformers must face up with the critics and spend more time to provide more information so as to simplify the matters.

  Form what has been discussed,it is safely to draw a conclusion that making things complex and bigger is more easier.Nevertheless, making things simple could need real efforts and tremendous courage for everyone.

(this is my first issue,and I finished it in 60 minutes.Please give me some advice,thanks!Any advice will be welcome!)

imongUID: 140258

语法错误有点多。

例如：simple the laws （simplify），improve one's famous （fame？至少不应该是形容词）

第一段的even if who is a child这个从句很别扭。（而且也很多余）

第三段，however the process is very difficult，我建议你在这种地方用however的话最好是..., however, ...，前后都加逗号。我第一遍读的时候还以为是however difficult the process is之类的呢。

这种错误不一一挑了。

论证方面：开头觉得不是很舒服，开头的最后落在了more difficult，和你之前的making things complex is easy似乎不太相配？主体部分，你只是给出了现象，但是却没有去说明。现实情况的存在不能替代对原因的分析。你的主体部分的深入和逻辑都比较欠缺。外加语言上的不细心。建议你先写作文的同时多看看前人的文章与分析，还有范文。多思考思考，找找差距。

发帖子的时候注意标题的格式和内文的格式，这次是genie帮你改的。下次注意。

现在作文版已经开始热闹起来了，不妨四处看看找个人去叫叫板，看看能不能互相掐上架呢。:D 掐架表现突出的网友将会得到其他网友和斑竹得更猛烈的还击以示鼓励。:p

libbyUID: 151455

Thank you very much, imong! I will work hard in the future!
I am expecting your advice!

jxkingUID: 141801

No.1 ISSUE25 This is my virgin issue,please give me some advice!3x!
25.Anyone can make things bigger and more complex.What requires real effort and courage is to move in the opposite direction-in other words,to make things as simple as possible.

It is well known that making something complex and sensational is so easy to everyone,even if who is a child.However, if we want to make things as simple as possible,which could make common people can reach it,it is so difficult that few people could succeed and must pay lots of efforts on it.Therefore,it is more difficult to make things easier than complex.

It is a piece of cake(我觉得太口语了，不如用drastically easy) to make a sensational event in our times,since there are so many media means that the news can reach everyone right away.Nowadays,people can keep touch with the worlds through the internet,TV,radio,and so on,which make it easy to make bigger events ,especially scandals.It is universal phenominon(改为phenomenon) in entertainment cirles that make some negative news about certain stars in order to improve his or her famous（改为fame）.The campany can make the things complex only to let off some news,such as love scandals(该sexual scandals) , which is so simple,but it arouse(s) many people to pay attention to it.It seems that the thing became so confusing and complex that many people can't understand and discussed it.In the end, it has reached its aim to make the thing bigger and complex.

On the other hand,if anyone want to make matters simpler and easier to understand as for ordinary people,he or she must work arduously.As(为什么有个As) for example,in scientific reaserch field,there are so many laws which have too much limited requirements to apply them to industrial manufacture.Scientists always want to simple(改为simplify) the laws that they can be applied in many fields,however the process is very difficult and most of them could take several years,even more long.So it is evident that it is a long-time and arduous process to make things simpler.Moreover,to make things simpler ,which need bigger courage since a new conception or idea could be accepted by most people,which is a process and need the time to prove.Thus the reformers must face up with the critics and spend more time to provide more information so as to simplify the matters.

Form what has been discussed,it is safely to draw a conclusion(改为we can safely draw the conclusion that 比较好) that making things complex and bigger is more easier.Nevertheless, making things simple could need real efforts and tremendous courage for everyone.

(this is my first issue,and I finished it in 60 minutes.Please give me some advice,thanks!Any advice will be welcome!)

个人认为好的issue 应该用一下几个注意点：（1）立场清楚 （2）结构完整，思路清晰 （3）正文部分能有几个相对独立的分论点 （4）每个理由，几分论点的应有相应的论据支持 （5）语言功力好，用词丰富，恰当，句式多变

libbyUID: 151455

Thanks jxking! I will pay attention to these!
But I don,t know how to substantiate the issue!
I will work hard in future!