issue88 5篇修改稿 by sunshine so猫 木耳 imong & Delia

wallisUID: 111832

88.Technologies not only influence but also actually determine social customs and ethics.

Social customs as well as ethics are a set of protocols the society set for itself to attain some equilibrium in society. As is well known, that customs and ethics tell us what is right and what is forbidden. But these criterions are merely the results of the  previous social conditons and inevitably varied with the present situation. Technology, the source of evoluting propulsion, have been so fast changing people's principles of behavior so that our society  almost changes with the days. So we are fully aware of technology's overwhleming impact on people's customs and ethics.

But why does technology change  huaman's behaviorial principles? Technology, in one word, enables us to accomplish what was impossible for us in the past. As a result, someting which was the previledge confined to certain groups of people, will not possess this attribute. This will obviously break the harmony of the distribution of social interests.  And naturally some will try their best to maitain what they have acquired while some others will strive to gain a favorable position in this very threshold period. That is a situation very much simillar to that of a game. Everyone wants to win but everyone's success depends on the other's, which will inherently gives rise to the concession and compromise between them. Thus certain corrections will be superimposed on the old principles.  Only in this way can they avoid the destructive effects of chaotic and irrational competition. An example can best enlighten this point. In antient times, education was only limitted to the aristocrat class, which is due to the social conditions then---It is impossible as well as unecessary for knowledge to be spread among the ordinary people. But with the emergence of new technology, there arose a demand for large quantities of skilled workers. That intrinsic demand was driven by the application of the new technology. Therefore, education became accessive for most people and the aristocrats lost their priviledge.

We can also deduce from other aspect that technology naturally causes the change of people's customs and ethics. Now that technology bring impossible into reality, some customs, which was upholded by all due to the lack of some resources which abound now, will be desitined to collapse. Hundreds of years ago, most women don't work and concurrently there were not enough jobs suitable for them. With the technology improvement there were more and more tasks which did not necessarily require the worker to be a man. And a cheap female worker may even do a better job than a male in some areas. So the old custom was changed, which is the certainly the consequency of technology progress.

In other sense, technology innovation enlarges the  people's range of knowledge and makes people more conscious of the law of their society. Humans' mental capacity has been being promoted by technology that they are more self-independent than before. Or other, they can use their brains better and is more unaffected by  the outer circumstances. Humans are more able to discern what is right and what does not sound. Outdated customs and ethics are made  more easily subject to hamans' amending.

In summary, technology influences and even changes people's principles of behavior, which will certainly cause people's customs and ethics open to corrections. On the other hand, technology makes the people understand themselves more deeply and readily to go on an action altering their banal and even harmful customs.

DeliaUID: 151415

issue 88

"Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."

Taking a brief glance at history of human existence, it is not difficult to draw the conclusion that technology, defined as the application of science and knowledge,(science is partial of human knowledge) has played an important role in bringing transformation and improvement to society. Moreover, I agree with the above saying in the topic that technology should be regarded as a determinative factor which not only influence but also, and more importantly, determine the social custom and ethics.

Generally speaking, it is the trends of social perspective that technology exercises enormous influence on the custom and ethics of mankind. Before the Industrial Revolutionary occurring in Britain in the eighteenth century, women were not allowed to work or study outside their houses apart from some comparatively enlightened places; yet waves of women went into spinneries to work as cotton spinner in the late decade of that century after the jenny were universally ultimate in the factory around Europe. Due to the development and betterment of the equipment, in the early twenties, the difference of working effectiveness between a man and a woman could be ignored, causing feminism campaign all over the world for sexual equality and personality liberation as well as the traditional attitude toward women. Nowadays in this nation, women rushing for offices can be seen everywhere without surprising and discrimination, the scene of which is very different from that of the early last century we could imagine.（only one example is inefficient to prove “determine”, it is still INFLUENCE, quick conclusion）

However, question can be raised why it is believed that the technology rather than the human beings themselves determine the social custom and ethics. Admittedly, in a short period, the intension of individuals and the needs of the social customs, can determine(indicate) the trends technology will follow. Considering the long eras human history covers, it is the technology that guarantees the basic condition for surviving, (What if the term PRODUCTIVE LABOR? Technology, essentially, is the tool applied to accelerate manufacture.) offer an opportunity to mankind to develop human society, and form variable custom and ethics (The original custom and ethics is formed by technology? What came first in human history?) according to the complicated geographical position and uneven levels of technology. (developed with the ever renewed technologies) Without technology of navigation, most nations at present might still hold the belief that they were the center in the universe(but of science discovery?); of industry, millions of women might never ever get the chance to see the scene out of limited sight from their window(How to explain feminie clan?) of commerce, the concept of global village and the consciousness of racial quality might never exist. One specialist on social science has given a proper comment on the function of technology in society: "Technology, has determined the social system and human ideology in the past time, and it will do in the future."(Tautology, meaningless)

As mentioned in the last paragraph, social custom and ethics greatly influence the development of technology, or even sometimes restrict further technological research and experiments. Human cloning, for instance, is legally abandoned in many countries due to the discordance with the ethnics. Still, the concepts of human cloning as well as the experiments on animals challenge with the traditional social perspectives which assert that nature law can be impossibly changed. Furthermore, no one can tell whether in the future, human cloning will become legal, since the technology of tube pregnancy when first contrived was considered illegal while being accepted by almost all the nations today.(These make sense. You see, through all above I can draw a conclusion that technology and human custom and ethics are interacting, interinfluencing.)

In conclusion, technology can be metaphorized as a flowing river, while the social custom and ethics as the banks, on which preserves human civilization( and cultures). Although banks are seemed to control the direction to which the flow is headed, the river has made them first.(That’s new, but I donnot agree.)

88.Technologies not only influence but also actually determine social customs and ethics.

Social customs as well as ethics are a set of protocols the society set for itself to attain some equilibrium in society. As is well known, that customs and ethics tell us what is right and what is forbidden. But these criterions are merely the results of the previous social conditons and inevitably varied with the present situation. Technology, the source of evoluting propulsion, have been so fast changing people's principles of behavior so that our society almost changes with the days. So we are fully aware of technology's overwhleming impact on people's customs and ethics.(the most important impact is different from determining in degree)

But why does technology change huaman's behaviorial principles? Technology, in one word, enables us to accomplish what was impossible for us in the past. As a result, someting which was the previledge confined to certain groups of people, will not possess this attribute. This will obviously break the harmony of the distribution of social interests. And naturally some will try their best to maitain what they have acquired while some others will strive to gain a favorable position in this very threshold period. That is a situation very much simillar to that of a game. Everyone wants to win but everyone's success depends on the other's, which will inherently gives rise to the concession and compromise between them. Thus certain corrections will be superimposed on the old principles. Only in this way can they avoid the destructive effects of chaotic and irrational competition. An example can best enlighten this point. In antient times, education was only limitted to the aristocrat class, which is due to the social conditions then---It is impossible as well as unecessary for knowledge to be spread among the ordinary people. But with the emergence of new technology, there arose a demand for large quantities of skilled workers. That intrinsic demand was driven by the application of the new technology. Therefore, education became accessive for most people and the aristocrats lost their priviledge.(I don’t think they are perfectly comparable. The principal theory of games is examining the opponent, upon which one’s decision is made. The relationship between the opponents is contradicted or isolated- one would perform an action even at the expense of the other’s lost. But the relationship between technology and social custom and ethics is toward harmony, which may be called inter-adapting. If a figuration is in your intention, I suggest SPRIAL PATTERN.)

We can also deduce from other aspect that technology naturally causes the change of people's customs and ethics. Now that technology bring impossible into reality, some customs, which was upholded by all due to the lack of some resources which abound now, will be desitined to collapse. Hundreds of years ago, most women don't work and concurrently there were not enough jobs suitable for them. With the technology improvement there were more and more tasks which did not necessarily require the worker to be a man. And a cheap female worker may even do a better job than a male in some areas. So the old custom was changed, which is the certainly the consequency of technology progress.

In other sense, technology(along with science, which is previous and has direct influence on mental cognization) innovation enlarges the people's range of knowledge and makes people more conscious of the law of their society. Humans' mental capacity has been being promoted by technology that they are more self-independent than before. Or other, they can use their brains better and is more unaffected by the outer circumstances. Humans are more able to discern what is right and what does not sound.(This is an assertion. How can we say affirmatively that the youngsters who watch TV and play machinery games all the time available are more thoughtful and hence more conscious than those philosophical ancestors who read and debated with each other as a custom while little technology was provided?)Outdated customs and ethics are made more easily subject to hamans' amending.

In summary, technology influences and even changes people's principles of behavior, which will certainly cause people's customs and ethics open to corrections(They have been being open from the very beginning.). On the other hand, technology makes the people understand themselves more deeply and readily to go on an action altering their banal and even harmful customs.(Not all customs are harmful and banal, a definitive subclause may sound more reasonably.)

木耳UID: 123036

内容是比较晦涩，尤其是第二段。

第一段时觉得你的论点：社会习俗和道德准则由社会条件所定；而技术是社会前进的动力，所以技术overwhleming impact on people's customs and ethics.

第一段中已经说了技术通过改变社会条件来影响和决定social customs and ethics.第二段再说why does technology change huaman's behaviorial principles时不是重复？这一段其实是举了博弈的例子来具体解释第一段的论点。

我觉得其实说完第二段主要的意思都已经讲清楚了。后面的两段都是在填例子。与第一段中的例子其实说的是一回事，我看没有本质的区别。

整篇文章说得在理。如果照这个思路完善的话。我觉得把的二段的例子分出去，这段纯粹分析道理；后面从不同方面举例说明。这样回更清晰一些。因为这个论点再分分论点不容易，不好写成一个分论点一个例子的结构。

我还是觉得有些句子晦涩难懂:confused:，功力不够 :(

imongUID: 140258

哦~~又是一个集体拍的？
加我一个！

老样子，灌水在前，修改稿3小时内出炉！

Social customs as well as ethics are a set of protocols the society set for itself to attain some equilibrium in society（后边怎么又出来一个in society）. As is well known, that（that?） customs and ethics tell us what is right and what is forbidden. But these criterions（criteria，这回露怯了，还有phenomena，一类的，记住啊！） are merely the results of the previous social conditons and inevitably varied with（这个语态并不好） the present situation. Technology, the source of evoluting propulsion, have been so fast changing people's principles of behavior so that（so so that？再看一眼前面？） our society almost changes with the days（change with the days-- what this?）. So we are fully aware of technology's overwhleming impact on people's customs and ethics. 老实说我看的不是很明白。

But why does technology change huaman's behaviorial principles? Technology, in one word, enables us to accomplish what was impossible for us in the past. As a result, someting which was the previledge confined to certain groups of people, will not possess this attribute. This will obviously break the harmony of the distribution of social interests. And naturally some will try their best to maitain what they have acquired while some others will strive to gain a favorable position in this very threshold period. That is a situation very much simillar to that of a game. Everyone wants to win but（while？） everyone's success depends on the other's, which will inherently gives rise to the concession and compromise（这里是不是不用the而用复数？） between them. Thus certain corrections will be superimposed on the old principles. Only in this way can they avoid the destructive effects of chaotic and irrational competition. An example can best enlighten this point. In antient times, education was only limitted to the aristocrat class, which is due to the social conditions then---It is impossible as well as unecessary for knowledge to be spread among the ordinary people. But with the emergence of new technology, there arose a demand for large quantities of skilled workers. That intrinsic demand was driven by the application of the new technology. Therefore, education became accessive（呃...available?） for most people and the aristocrats lost their priviledge. 在分析的严谨和sequencing上不错，不过内容上未免有点远了。也就是说我感觉你的重点最后没有落在the influence of tech上面，而中间的game之类虽然精彩，可是和tech有关系？中间一段给我的印象是有点扯出去了。

We can also deduce from other aspect（s） that technology naturally causes the change of people's customs and ethics.（如果从这里开始那说明上面一段的最后落脚出衔接有点不好） Now that technology bring impossible（the impossibles） into reality, some customs, which was upholded by all due to the lack of some resources which abound now（有点绕了）, will be desitined（拼写） to collapse. Hundreds of years ago, most women don't work and concurrently there were not enough jobs suitable for them.（most women didn't 时态？take jobs outside home hundreds of years ago and neither were there enough suitable positions. 这个如何？）With the technology improvement there were（用be不如用具体动词，例如tasks come into being，看来下次要集中说一下） more and more tasks which did not necessarily require the worker to be a man. And a cheap（-_-'） female worker may even do a better job than a male in some areas. So the old custom was changed, which is the certainly the consequency of technology progress. 还是像上一段：扯出去绕了一圈然后回来，不过没有上一段那么别扭。中间都是用例子堆的......考虑一个段落不仅是头尾要守住，中间也不要飞了。

In other sense, technology innovation enlarges the people's range of knowledge and makes people more conscious of the law of their society. Humans' mental capacity has been being promoted by technology that（？） they are more self-independent than before. Or other, they can use their brains better and is（？！！） more unaffected（？？） by the outer circumstances. Humans are more able to discern what is right and what does not sound. Outdated customs and ethics are made more easily subject to hamans' amending.从论证水平上这一段是没话找话的感觉，不好。

In summary, technology influences and even changes people's principles of behavior, which will certainly cause people's customs and ethics open to corrections. On the other hand, technology makes the people understand themselves more deeply and readily to go on an action altering their banal and even harmful customs.

我觉得原题的关键在于tech influence, and actually determine, customs.你现在的文章就算把主题给挑明，充其量是同意前半，然后做了分析，后半呢？个人认为，是否同意influece为其一，而如果同意了，必然面对分析influece和determine的差异（如果反对influece自然不存在determine的问题），而你恰恰对determine之字不提，这样我也不好下判断的。如果，从这个角度来说的话，这篇文章是存在一定的较显著缺陷的。

还有，下次最好把几个小错误给改掉，不应该啊！！除此之外的用词句法都还不错。

wallisUID: 111832

谢谢，老犯低级错误，老天保佑我：）