issue177 , 大家来批：）

wallisUID: 111832

issue177 ：The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes.

Animals don't have any academic activity that is the humans' distinctive way to get information from the nature. A man, firstly as an animal, uses his organs to perceive the world and to obtain information that is the well of humans' knowledge. Without academic activity, there is no reason to distinguish between human beings and animals. The moment we are equipped with the spiritual power, we see the world with different eyes, although the sun still rises in the east.

Since the ability to think is the best present god endowed us, we should make good use of it because god doesn't take care of us in other respects. For instance, the range of humans' eyesight is far below that of flies. But the difference in some functions of organs did not shake our dominant position as human beings. Spiritual power, the capacity of abstracting and generalizing the information, is our compass when navigating on the sea of the undiscovered world. In reality, Spiritual power is burgeoning in the basket of academy where old questions are settled with the coming of new ones. Many events in history have illustrated this point. For example, the Industrial Revolution that is the important event in human evolution brought a new viewpoint about the world with the application of Newton's three laws about velocity and mass which is the result of academic activities through many years. Since then, human's interest has got more involved with the phenomena outside the earth as well as within the atoms, because we have a general principle applicable to almost everything! New puzzles of indescribable conditions came when touching the virgin land. Beyond any question, it is through the academic activities that we develop our knowledge and run into new mysteries.

How does academic activity greatly alter our way of perceiving the world? All that happened around us is so complicated, while the individual mental capacity is too limited, so we have to accumulate many people’s strength to grasp the facts behind the happenings. Only in this way, could we solve many problems by means of cooperation. We could also beneath our knowledge as fortunes to our antecedents, which is a good method to let the half done work to be fulfilled in the future. Eventually, with the aids from our ancestors and the colleagues, the ideas and tools are upgraded with time.

Fortunately, academy is invented just suitable for this purpose. Academic activities always draw conclusions from some related facts. As a result, human's experience appears to everyone well displayed with order in the form of concepts, facts and theorems. Of course this is quite convenient for storage and propagation. It is academy that makes the civilization to be continuous without break. Academy provides us the highly effective means to ameliorate our spiritual ability generation by generation. With the storage of spiritual power being augmented year by year, the way we observe the world are getting more and more advanced. That is, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes.

In summary, it is undeniable that every innovation in science and technology is the fruit of advancement in humans’ mental ability. With the technology’s progress we see the world with different eyes. Academy just serves as the original source.

so猫UID: 148633

issue177 ：The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes.

Animals don't have any academic activity that（这个纯属个人意见 我比较喜欢用which在这里） is the humans' distinctive way to get information from the nature. A man, firstly as an animal, uses his organs to perceive the world and to obtain information that is the well of humans' knowledge. Without academic activity, there is no reason to distinguish between human beings and animals. The moment we are equipped with the spiritual power, we see the world with different eyes, although the sun still rises in the east.好有文采的开头~~~~~~

Since the ability to think is the best present god endowed us, we should make good use of it because god doesn't take care of us in other respects. For instance, the range of humans' eyesight is far below that of flies. But the difference in some functions of organs did not shake our dominant position as human beings. Spiritual power, the capacity of abstracting and generalizing the information, is our compass when navigating on the sea of the undiscovered world. In reality, Spiritual（大写是什么意思？） power is burgeoning in the basket of academy where old questions are settled with the coming of new ones. Many events in history have illustrated this point. For example, the Industrial Revolution that is the important event in human evolution brought a new viewpoint about the world with the application of Newton's three laws about velocity and mass which is the result of academic activities through many years. Since then, human's interest has got more involved with the phenomena outside the earth as well as within the atoms, because we have a general principle applicable to almost everything! New puzzles of indescribable conditions came when touching the virgin land. Beyond any question, it is through the academic activities that we develop our knowledge and run into new mysteries.（TS）

How does academic activity greatly alter our way of perceiving the world? All that happened around us is so complicated, while the individual mental capacity is too limited, so we have to accumulate many people’s strength to grasp the facts behind the happenings. Only in this way, could we solve many problems by means of cooperation. We could also beneath our knowledge as fortunes to our antecedents, which is a good method to let the half done work to be fulfilled in the future. Eventually, with the aids from our ancestors and the colleagues, the ideas and tools are upgraded with time.

Fortunately, academy is invented just suitable for this purpose. （this的指代？我觉得最好再重复一遍 毕竟 这句话是一段的TS 应该说的明白一点） Academic activities always draw conclusions from some related facts. As a result, human's experience appears to everyone well displayed with order in the form of concepts, facts and theorems. Of course this is quite convenient for storage and propagation. It is academy that makes the civilization to be continuous without break. Academy provides us the highly effective means to ameliorate our spiritual ability generation by generation. With the storage of spiritual power being augmented year by year, the way we observe the world are getting more and more advanced. That is, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes.

In summary, it is undeniable that every innovation in science and technology is the fruit of advancement in humans’ mental ability. With the technology’s progress we see the world with different eyes. Academy just serves as the original source.
语言都没有错误 只有一点点我不是很明白的地方 文中都标明出来了

关于逻辑
我唯一觉得有点费解的是body的第一段 我找了很久的TS 可能是我太习惯把TS放在开头了吧
三段的叙述都很清楚
body里面的第二段 我也不是很明白
前面说How does academic activity greatly alter our way of perceiving the world?后面又说只有联合大家的力量才可以blablabla~~ 这两者之间的逻辑关系是什么呢？我认为问句后应该说的是aa如何改变我们看问题的方式 而不是应该联合大家的~~~
楼主能解释一下吗？
或者结合楼主body的第三段来看 整个第二段全部都是一个铺垫？
目的就是引出第三段开头的话？！
我重新读了一遍 觉得这个解释很有可能
楼主认为呢~~~~~~
如果是这样的话 以我个人的观点来看 这样的结构倒是一个尝试~~~不过就显得文章单薄了一点啦~~~

最后 我发现楼主不是很长用长句子 但是用词很不错很到位 短语很漂亮 学习ING~~~

wallisUID: 111832

首先感谢‘猫’的修改！
body第二段确实是一个铺垫，呵呵，看的很仔细哦：）
我先说，只有通过合作和世代的积累，才能事实后的真相，最后一句是
Eventually, with the aids from our ancestors and the colleagues, the ideas and tools are upgraded with time. 我们的理念和工具的到了不断的升级，这样我们的eyes就不同了。

so猫UID: 148633

哦 原来是这样 呵呵 明白了
不过还是 楼主见过类似的文章结构吗
我才疏学浅 没有见过 楼主可以给一点指教吗

wallisUID: 111832

我觉得有时候,完全按照孙远的步骤比较别扭啊!

so猫UID: 148633

呵呵 明白啦~~~~~
偶也可以适当变通下下~~~~
谢谢你的提醒~~~