关于作文的短期突破

HardyNiborUID: 3461489

TPO是看不到作文分数的，今天出了G的分，然后就慌了。G是裸考的所以并不很在意，但是这个分数反映出自己这几年考试作文的一贯问题，就是过于自恋，实际分数永远低于预期。T的作文更重要因为这个是算分的。但是听力口语的问题决定了不可能把时间用到找人互改上，何况对于队友或者同学的批改自己也一直不够重视，白白浪费时间。下面贴出一篇最近一周复习比较满意的请高手看一下，真的不需要逐字逐句研究语法用词之类的了，那个短期内改不好，看着也累。给说说主题字数结构之类的就好，顺便给个分。先谢谢大家了。

TPO12独立：博胜专

Someone thinks that being erudite will be higher valued than delving into a specific area of knowledge. At some extent I quite agree with it. In a world full of communication and coorperation, a certain degree of acquisition of a wide range of different deciplines and a skill of combining them seems increasingly important. Only with a broad knowledge can we get efficient interactions with cooperators and do things well. Let's take one professor of mine, who's very good at teaching, for example. When he arrives a strange place to give a lecture about elleptic curves, the keystone of coding theory, he will try to get some information about the industry there relative to his major, and prepare a nice opening introducing about elleptic curves mixed with the knowledge he have got. If it's in a high school, he will show the students a quiz of math GAOKAO,  the entrance examination in China, to channel the interest of them. His polymath style of teaching really attracts lots of fans, making him one of the most popular teachers of China.

However, the broad knowledge of multi-subjects must be built on the base of a strong ability of researching on a special field, or else the ability of functioning ideas from other areas may get nowhere to be used. Even the professor mentioned above himself is a prominent mathematician majored in number theory. It would be funny when a Mr-know-all gives a lecture about something difficult when he can not solve the problems well himself, however informative and skilled in giving a lecture he is. Expecially for young students, specializing is overriding because they are in the period that is vital for learning difficult things, and other trival knowledge could be learn in the ameteur time of later on since that is easy.

In summary, the statement would be ture sometimes, but not always. For accomplished experts, it may be right, and for

Irene1084UID: 3420779

只是简单看了一下……拍的略狠见谅啦
1. 内容的问题。
托福建议不要写中立观点，可以有让步段和让步句，但最好不要写一正一反两段，容易自相矛盾。或者你是想写成 “正，反，合” 的结构？如果这样的话第三段“合”的部分最好详细阐述一下。

2. 句子
比如这一句：In a world full of communication and coorperation, a certain degree of acquisition of a wide range of different deciplines and a skill of combining them seems increasingly important.
句子很长，后半句出现了三个of，看着看着就乱了。而且什么叫“different disiplines”？ 太抽象了
这个句子你其实可以很傻地写：In a world filled with exploded infromation, it is important for us to acquire knowledge in different fields and use it for our own sake.

大家都容易有个通病，就是觉得简单句子和直白的语言看起来很stupid，其实不管G还是T，虽然我们读的都是ETS改编的长难句，但他们真不愿意读我们写的长难句……因为我们写出来的通常只有一个效果，就是confusing...我之前一直没有意识到这一点，第一次考G和T写作部分都死得惨烈。

其实找人看看挺好的，也不需要检查拼写和用法什么的，就让他标出没读明白的句子，把这些句子重写润色，就足够啦。

luketc3580UID: 3369182

Irene1084 发表于 2013-11-4 21:34
只是简单看了一下……拍的略狠见谅啦
1. 内容的问题。
托福建议不要写中立观点，可以有让步段和让步句，但 ...

Irene辛苦啦~

HardyNiborUID: 3461489

Irene1084 发表于 2013-11-4 21:34
只是简单看了一下……拍的略狠见谅啦
1. 内容的问题。
托福建议不要写中立观点，可以有让步段和让步句，但 ...

太谢谢了，句子的问题一定会努力解决的。关于中立的问题，其实是我凑不出字数才这样的

每次写完一句就看一下字数和时间，几乎总是一分钟十个words，写着写着就慌了。其实如果打字速度再快一些的话，应该可以简单写几句合的部分这样就立场鲜明了。当然这个长难句的恶习也是输出过慢的原因，今天试着把时间用在观点上再看看字数。

那什么，正好300是不是会死的很惨？很担心这个

其实我外号也叫男神，保佑你。。。

copyzero2UID: 3433211

HardyNibor 发表于 2013-11-5 09:15
太谢谢了，句子的问题一定会努力解决的。关于中立的问题，其实是我凑不出字数才这样的

每 ...

字数不是绝对的拉，300+也有30分的娃，只是一般大家没法在300字内讲清楚，字数不是必备品，内容和逻辑才是最重要的~~加油哦~~对啦，不要忽视综合哦，那个相对比较好那份~~最后可以多总结一下，嘿嘿~~

HardyNiborUID: 3461489

copyzero2 发表于 2013-11-5 10:00
字数不是绝对的拉，300+也有30分的娃，只是一般大家没法在300字内讲清楚，字数不是必备品，内容和逻辑才 ...

Irene1084UID: 3420779

HardyNibor 发表于 2013-11-5 09:15
太谢谢了，句子的问题一定会努力解决的。关于中立的问题，其实是我凑不出字数才这样的

每 ...

哈哈，谢谢“男神”
写的时候别想太多了，想三个论点然后就开始写，思路打开了写得就快了，字数自然也不愁啦

Irene1084UID: 3420779

luketc3580 发表于 2013-11-5 00:11
Irene辛苦啦~