Issue79

coniUID: 137677

ISSUE79 "Major policy decision should always be left to politions and other government experts, who are more informed and thus have better judgement and perspective than do members of the general public."

提纲：
1 为什么不能把所有的权利给领导者 A 会导致诸如腐败的问题 B 会缺少一个有效的监管机制 C 领导者毕竟是一小部分人，视野有限

2 为什么可以把部分权利交给人民 A 人民最了解社会的需要 B 人民是纳税者，他们有权确定国家事务

正文：

Should we leave major policy decisions to politicians and other government experts? The speaker claims so concerning that they are more informed and have better judgment and view of points than ordinary people. I agree with the speaker insofar as the politicians and other government experts should be among the members who make the decisions, however, general public should be allowed to participate in the activity of making policy decisions.

    I concede that for a politician, a wide scope of knowledge and insight are the basic requirements, and they have more opportunities to get in touch with the latest information relevant to some policy decisions, yet, this doesn't necessarily mean that all major policy decisions should be left to them. On one hand, we have to realize that if one people or a small group of people master absolute power, the power will bring about problems. Just as a famous person said :" absolute power corrupts absolutely."  Besides, when a small group of people possesses the overwhelming power of a country, there will be no effective supervision system which can successfully regulate their power and their expanding lust for larger power, which will lead to negative phenomena such as nepotism and withholding information from the public. Consider the leader such as Stalin and Hitler, whom most people would agree were egregious violators of the public rights to take part in policy decision. Ultimately those leaders lose their leadership as a result of their immoral means by which they wielded their power that is imposed by the public. One the other hand, after all, the politicians and government experts are only a small group of people, their ideas and ways of thinking is limited, and maybe sometimes fresh ideas cannot be accepted by them. From this point of view, their thinking and views do not necessarily represent the general public's opinions. Consequently, although the speaker might have as believe his or her conclusion by emphasizing leaders’ better judgment and perspective, we can conclude that leaving all major policy decisions to politicians is not a wise option.

   Now the question facing us is who should be the effective decider of major policy. In my observation, the general public should shoulder most part of this responsibility. First and foremost, general public is the base of every society, and what we called major policies are just closely linked to the situations which are involved in general public's everyday life such as the economy policy, the education pattern, the pension system and so on. As a result, the general public who are most familiar with the above situations naturally have the most convincing power to decide the policy. Secondly, most of the general public are tax-payers of the society. Considering that they have already contributed a lot to the development of the society, it is justifiable and reasonable for the government to grant them the right to decide major policy which may in turn influence the development of the society. The European Union is just a case in point. We know that when members of the Community intended to decide whether to join in the Community or not which is a major policy decision, most of the countries give the right of deciding to their citizens and some other countries which have a so large population that it is impossible to carry on a nationwide survey, make the decision by investigating the opinions of the representatives of the general public.

   In sum, although in some specific cases, the politician should take over the responsibility of making major policy decisions, in most other cases, imposing the part of the responsibility to public not only can avoid some political scandals, but also can make the decision win the supports of the general public.

jackygaussUID: 147842

写得这么好，真令人羡慕啊！实在没什么好改的，就改了一点点做参考。：）
Should we leave major policy decisions to politicians and other government experts? The speaker claims so concerning that they are more informed and have better judgment and view of points than ordinary people. I agree with the speaker insofar as the politicians and other government experts should be among the members who make the decisions, however, general public should be allowed to participate in the activity of making policy decisions.

I concede that for a politician, a wide scope of knowledge and insight are the basic requirements, and they have more opportunities to get in touch with the latest information relevant to some policy decisions, yet, this doesn't necessarily mean that all major policy decisions should be left to them. On one hand, we have to realize that if one people （这里是指民族吗？） or a small group of people master absolute power, the power will（would） bring about problems. Just as a famous person said：（，）" absolute power corrupts absolutely." Besides, when a small group of people possesses the overwhelming power of a country, there will be no effective supervision system which can successfully regulate their power and their expanding lust for larger power, which will lead to negative phenomena such as nepotism and withholding information from the public. Consider the leader such as Stalin and Hitler, whom most people would agree were egregious violators of the public rights to take part in policy decision. Ultimately those leaders lose their leadership as a result of their immoral means by which they wielded their power that is imposed by the public. One the other hand, after all, the politicians and government experts are only a small group of people, their ideas and ways of thinking is limited, and maybe sometimes fresh ideas cannot be accepted by them. From this point of view, their thinking and views do not necessarily represent the general public's opinions. Consequently, although the speaker might have as believe his or her conclusion by emphasizing leaders’ better judgment and perspective, we can conclude that leaving all major policy decisions to politicians is not a wise option.

Now the question facing us is who should be the effective decider of major policy. In my observation, the general public should shoulder most part of this responsibility. First and foremost, general public is the base of every society, and what we called major policies are just closely linked to the situations which are involved in general public's everyday life such as the economy policy, the education pattern, the pension system and so on. As a result, the general public who are most familiar with the above situations naturally have the most convincing power to decide the policy. Secondly, most of the general public are tax-payers of the society. Considering that they have already contributed a lot to the development of the society, it is justifiable and reasonable for the government to grant them the right to decide major policy which may in turn influence the development of the society. The European Union is just a case in point. We know that when members of the Community intended to decide whether to join in the Community or not which is a major policy decision, most of the countries give the right of deciding to their citizens and some other countries which have a so large population that it is impossible to carry on a nationwide survey, make the decision by investigating the opinions of the representatives of the general public.

In sum, although in some specific （具体的，是不是可以该为special，特殊的；可能该得不对）  cases, the politician should take over the responsibility of making major policy decisions, in most other cases, imposing the part of the responsibility to public not only can avoid some political scandals, but also can make the decision win the supports of the general public.

gdhdannyUID: 125843

Should we leave major policy decisions to politicians and other government experts? The speaker claims so concerning that they are more informed and have better judgment and view of points than ordinary people. （不错！）I agree with the speaker insofar as the politicians and other government experts should be among the members who make the decisions, however, general public should be allowed to （感觉用allow不太好。一是题目和你的提纲都不是强调人民的权力是被剥夺的，既然从must 和will两方面写，总论点不要只涵盖一方面）participate in the activity of making policy decisions.
第一段总的来说很不错了。

I concede that for a politician, a wide scope of knowledge and insight （a wide scope of insight?）are（is） the basic requirements（requirement）（感觉还是应该把for短语放到后面）, and they（前面的主语是knowledge and insight） have more opportunities to get in touch with the latest information relevant to some policy decisions, yet, this doesn't necessarily mean that all major policy decisions should be left to them. [B]On （the）one hand[/B] , we have to realize that if one people or a small group of people master absolute power（查查韦氏，master power的搭配不合适）, the power will bring about problems. Just as a famous person said :" absolute power corrupts absolutely." （第一层次的观点应该明确指出是腐败问题，problems可以涵盖后面的所有问题）[B]Besides[/B],  when a small group of people possesses（possess） the overwhelming power of a country, there will be no effective supervision system which can successfully regulate their power and their expanding lust for larger power, which will lead to negative phenomena such as nepotism and withholding information from the public. Consider the leader such as Stalin and Hitler, whom most people would agree（,这句感觉还是有问题） were egregious violators of the public rights to take part in policy decision. Ultimately those leaders lose their leadership as a result of their immoral means by which they wielded（wield是褒义词，换一个） their power that is imposed by the public（这里好像是谈权力是人民主动impose给他们的吧）. [B]One the other hand[/B] , after all, the politicians and government experts are only a small group of people, their ideas and ways of thinking is limited, and maybe sometimes fresh ideas cannot be accepted by them. From this point of view, their thinking and views do not necessarily represent the general public's opinions（我觉得前两层次如果没有各自独立的有利论述不如合成一个观点，on the other hand这一层次的意思才更有的写）. Consequently, although the speaker might have as（might have as没见过，请教） believe his or her conclusion by emphasizing leaders’  better judgment and perspective, we can conclude that leaving all major policy decisions to politicians is not a wise option.

Now the question facing us is who should be the effective decider（牛！这么生的词都用得出来，韦小宝上都没见到） of major policy. In my observation, the general public should shoulder most part of this responsibility. [B]First and foremost[/B] , general public is the base of every society, and what we called major policies are（is） just closely linked to the situations which are involved in general public's everyday life such as the economy policy, the education pattern, the pension system and so on（situation是policy还是everyday life?）. As a result, the general public who are most familiar with the above situations naturally have the most convincing power to decide the policy. （不错）[B]Secondly[/B] , most of the general public are tax-payers of the society. Considering that they have already contributed a lot to the development of the society, it is justifiable and reasonable（用一个就行了） for the government to grant them the right to decide major policy which may in turn（作贡献——授权——得到回报不是in turn的关系，想想） influence the development of the society. The European Union is just a case in point. We know that when members of the Community intended to decide whether to join in the Community or not which is a major policy decision, most of the countries give the right of deciding to their citizens and some other countries which have a so large（such a large或者so large a） population that it is impossible to carry on a nationwide survey, make the decision by investigating the opinions of the representatives of the general public.（既然是member为什么还要决定是不是成为member呢？另外secondly后面的例子是要证明作为纳税人，人民有权利决定政策，那么重点应该是论证这种causal relationship.举的例子不应该是一种现象，即使是现象也要说明是因为这些国家的人纳税，所以政府才给他们权利，并且这么做的好处在哪里。）


In sum, although in some specific cases, the politician should take over the responsibility of making major policy decisions, in most other cases（别扭）, imposing the part of the responsibility to public not only can avoid some political scandals, but also can make the decision win the supports of the general public.（can not only… but also.全文并没提到supports的问题）

别看改得多，真的已经不错了，又是限时的，很难得那么短时间想到这么多东西。 :)

语言上再斟酌一下，当然现在也很好，精益求精嘛。 :D

论证过程还是应该分清层次，像中文那样（感觉还是用词问题），而且例证的作用还得体。

coniUID: 137677

谢谢 两位的评审

回答gdhdanny

1 “might have as没见过” 是我写错了，应该是might have us 原本是想说“就想作者希望我们相信的那样”  just as the speaker might have us believe.  不好意思呀

2 decider  是我的错，我当时只想 decide是“决定”的动词形式，那么“决定者”就是在后面加个r

3 其他的你指出的问题都是真知灼见，我已经进行了改写。

gdhdannyUID: 125843

1.为什么要用have? expect us to believe?

2.decider金山词霸里倒是在引申义里提到了你说的意思，不知道对不对

coniUID: 137677

have sb do sth 不是让某人干某事的意思吗？

gdhdannyUID: 125843

不知道，好像讲过

still puzzling + 读起来不爽

anyway, it's no big deal