issue113 （revised by paisley）

uocasiiUID: 143445

issue113"It is primarily through identification through social groups that we define ourselves."

syllabus
1.People play different roles in society, identification through social groups helps man understand what kind of role he or she is.
2.Without others' opinion, we can not find out how much we merit the society or how well we perform our daily life.
3.However, too much emphasis on identification through social groups without enough self-reflection will result in misapprehend ourselves.

Whether it is primarily through identification through social groups that we define ourselves is a heatedly discussed issue when we set about defining ourselves. In my view, identification through social groups is the primary means at this moment, self-reflection is also necessary in the process of understanding or defining people themselves.

As we all know, people play different roles in society, so identification through social groups helps one understand what kind of role he or she is. This is very crucial to know what kind of role you are, although we may alternate our roles in distinct situation as our society oblige us to do so. If you are at home, you might be a father, taking care of your little son or sharing your mood with your wife; if you are in your office, you might change your part into a boss, assigning work to your employees or paying much attention on your working schedule for better arrangement of your work. Also, you tend to become some other roles in other situation. Doubtless to say, if you want to define a person, you have to put him or her in a particular position and make a thorough assessment through every aspect in the different social groups.

Furthermore, opinions coming from different angles and provided by different persons around you will be very beneficial or instructive for you to define yourself thus making you develop to certain extent. Without others' opinions, we can not find out how much we merit the society or how well we perform our daily life. It is the common sense that most of us fail to understand ourselves thoroughly and all-roundly, for we usually become so subjective when judging what the things we have done already. Too much personal viewpoint will mislead us so as not to make wise decision or tell truth. For example, without considering the opinions from others in one's own academic field, we can not evaluate how great the achievement made by a scientist is. Those who in the same social groups as yours are most likely the ones know much about you. They spend more time observing, considering some aspects you might neglect during your pursuit of result, thinking in different manner and having different conditions, all of which contribute to precisely defining yourself.

However, too much emphasis on identification through social groups without enough self-reflection will result in misapprehension. Unlike identification through social groups, self-reflection has its advantage to assess an individual, it provides an adequate space for us think about all the things we have done during our lives compared to others' opinions solely focusing on some parts of all. To define ourselves, we have to set aside a certain period of time to consider the whole things we have done.

In conclusion, both the identification through social groups and self-reflection are significant to define ourselves. And only if we better define ourselves, can we succeed in future.

uocasiiUID: 143445

请大家多给点意见，我觉得时间一短，词句的用法就会走形了，而且句子一长，很难达到每一部分都前后一致，因为根本就没时间回过去检查，不知道大家怎么克服这个毛病的？多谢指导！

paisleyUID: 64183

issue113"It is primarily through identification through social groups that we define ourselves."

syllabus
1.People play different roles in society, identification through social groups helps man understand what kind of role he or she is.
2.Without others' opinion, we can not find out how much we merit the society or how well we perform our daily life.
3.However, too much emphasis on identification through social groups without enough self-reflection will result in misapprehend ourselves.

Whether it is primarily through identification through social groups that we define ourselves is a heatedly discussed issue when we set about defining ourselves. In my view, identification through social groups is the primary means at this moment（at this moment放在这里很费解，因为没有上下文）, self-reflection is also necessary in the process of understanding or defining people themselves.

As we all know, people play different roles in society, so identification through social groups helps one understand what kind of role he or she is. This is very crucial to know what kind of role you（前面是we，后面就不要用you了，保持一致） are, although we may alternate our roles in distinct（certain比较好） situation as our society oblige（少s） us to do so. If you（同上，可以用one代替） are at home, you might be a father, taking care of your little son or sharing your mood（mood一词多意，很多时候表示情绪不好，所以最好改成daytime experience） with your wife; if you are in your office, you might change your part into a boss, assigning work to your employees or paying much attention on your working schedule for better arrangement of your work. Also, you tend to become some other roles in other situation（应是复数）. Doubtless to say, if you want to define a person, you have to put him or her in a particular position and make a thorough assessment through every aspect in the different social groups.我觉得这些例子不太合适。每个人的不同身份并不等同于题目中说的we define ourselves。我认为题目里说的要深刻的多，指个人内在的东西，如信仰、世界观、或者至少也和性格、气质等关系更大。

Furthermore, opinions coming from different angles and provided by different persons around you will be very beneficial or instructive for you to define yourself thus making you develop to certain extent. Without others' opinions, we can not find out how much we merit （少from）the society or how well we perform our daily life. It is the common sense that most of us fail to understand ourselves thoroughly and all-roundly, for we usually become so subjective when judging what the things we have done already. Too much personal viewpoint will mislead us so as not to make wise decision or tell truth. For example, without considering the opinions from others in one's own academic field, we can not evaluate how great the achievement made by a scientist is. Those who in the same social groups as yours are most likely the ones know much about you. They spend more time observing, considering some aspects you might neglect during your pursuit of result, thinking in different manner and having different conditions, all of which contribute to precisely defining yourself.

However, too much emphasis on identification through social groups without enough self-reflection will result in misapprehension. Unlike identification through social groups, self-reflection has its advantage to assess an individual, it provides an adequate space for us think about all the things we have done during our lives compared to others' opinions solely focusing on some parts of all. To define ourselves, we have to set aside a certain period of time to consider the whole things we have done.对self-reflection的解释还很不够，我完全没有领会你说的self-reflection是什么意思。是自我反思，静穆的思考，对从前他人判断的彻底批判和怀疑，还是保持时刻的疏离，或者是其他呢？这是你ISSUE中的一个重要概念，不能虚晃过去。

In conclusion, both the identification through social groups and self-reflection are significant to define ourselves. And only if we better define ourselves, can we succeed in future.

总的来说还令人满意，语言不错，流畅清楚。说理上不够深入，很多地方擦边而过。需要改进。
你这篇文章，类似的和相关的文章可能有许多前人写过，或者还有范文。你可以搜索一下，对照一下这些文章。 或参照该帖：《在本版找前人作文的方法》http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthr ... hlight=%CC%E2%BA%C5
希望你也能多多修改其他朋友的文章。尤其是提点结构上和想法上的建议。因为你不可能每个题目都练过来啊，看别人的题目，自己脑子过一遍,既可以给别人提建议，自己又多了一次训练的机会.为别人服务的人优先得到斑竹的修改哦！我想你可能对自己的水平没信心，但是你只要参与别人的讨论，自己的思路也会打开，改变目前说理不透彻的情况。

paisleyUID: 64183

最初由 uocasii 发布
[B]请大家多给点意见，我觉得时间一短，词句的用法就会走形了，而且句子一长，很难达到每一部分都前后一致，因为根本就没时间回过去检查，不知道大家怎么克服这个毛病的？多谢..

以下省略...... [/B]

那就尽量用短句。保证你的文章里有几个固定语法的长句---想几个万能的巨型，可以随便套东西进去----然后其他地方用短句，保证少出错。

uocasiiUID: 143445

谢谢paisley，一定继续努力！至于self-reflection我本来想写，它的作用在于能够通过反思你所有的经历来省视自己。因为别人不可能了解你的全部。但这一点没有写深入。回去改改！