ISSUE207 机经题，关于rituals and ceremonies的那道，请指教！

ValentinerUID: 121676

ISSUE207
Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.

Rituals and ceremonies, considered as the attributions of a culture, have from time to time played a vital role in the definition of the culture. The speaker holds that without rituals and ceremonies the people of social groups can hardly define themselves and easily have a sense of disorientation. As far as I am concerned, I basically agree with the speaker, however, I argue that besides rituals and ceremonies there are many other ways to help us to better understand a culture.

First of all, as universally acknowledged, rituals and ceremonies may consider as the most important symbols of a culture, in that they embody the internal spirit of the culture. Rituals and ceremonies usually stem from the traditions and religions of a culture, which may have a profound impact on the constitution of the culture. For instance, in western country, people usually hold their weddings in the church, mainly because in the western culture church is where the God lives. By means of this wedding ceremony, they believe that the god, who can see their love and loyalty will guarantee their future happiness. In fact, rituals and ceremonies themselves do not have essential meaning. It is the culture in which the rituals and ceremonies are handed down that gives the special meaning to them, and in return they also have a profound effect on the culture.

What's more, it is agreed by all that human beings are social animals living in various social groups. Therefore rituals and ceremonies share by those in the same group may help them to define themselves more effectively and exactly. A case in point is the ceremony of the Christians' regulation of going church every week. It is very common for people to do so in western countries, even if some of them do not know the exactly meaning of this ceremonies, especially the juveniles. However, this regulation has become a part of their lives. Through this ritual they may have a sense of belonging to a certain group, so that will define themselves more specifically. Just imagine that without this ritual, it may be more difficult for the people to define the western culture, what's more, the absence of such rituals and ceremonies would give rise to a sense of disorientation, which finally result in isolation.

However, emphasis upon the rituals and ceremonies should not obscure the significance of many other ways to better understand a culture. For example, a culture's trend is usually displayed by its youth, who tend to seldom comply with the traditional rituals and ceremonies. In addition, the fabulously rapid development in both science and technology brings about many new ideologies to the society, which challenge the old rituals. The Chinese, who used to stay up with all the family members at home in the Spring Festival Eve, now prefer to go out for a drink or have a party with their friends in order to take fully advantage of the spring vocation. In this case, old rituals are far from enough to show all the aspects of a culture. To fully understand a culture, one has to make an overall research, because just rituals and ceremonies cannot make up the diversity of a culture.

To sum up, rituals and ceremonies are vital when we define a culture, for they stand for the culture's traditional beliefs and regulations. What's more, without rituals and ceremonies people tend to easily lose themselves in the changing world due to the acceleration of globalization. However, to know a culture more specifically and comprehensively, one should pay attention to many other factors that may also determine the characteristics of the culture.

银杏UID: 134344

207 Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.

Rituals and ceremonies, considered as the attributions of a culture, have from time to time played a vital role in the definition of the culture. The speaker holds that without rituals and ceremonies the people of social groups can hardly define themselves and easily have a sense of disorientation. As far as I am concerned, I basically agree with the speaker, however, I argue that besides rituals and ceremonies there are many other ways to help us to understand a culture better（是副词吧）.

First of all, as universally acknowledged, rituals and ceremonies may be consider as the most important symbols of a culture, in that（非限定性应该是which） they embody the internal spirit of the culture. Rituals and ceremonies usually stem from the traditions and religions of a culture, which may have a profound impact on the constitution of the culture. For instance, in western country, people usually hold their weddings in the church, mainly because in the western culture ,(少逗号)church is where the God lives.（I don’t know whether it is right, but I doubt） By means of (through好一点吧)this wedding ceremony, they believe that the god, who can see（ 用perceive怎么样)their love and faithfulness(loyalty好像更强调效忠), will guarantee their future happiness. In fact, rituals and ceremonies themselves do not have essential meaning. It is the culture in which the rituals and ceremonies are handed down that gives the special meaning to them, and in return they also have a profound effect on the culture. （这一点放在这里让人不知道你的例子是证明前面rituals and ceremonies embody the internal spirit of the culture,还是后面rituals and ceremonies gives the special meaning to them 的观点。也许你再举个例子，把这两个观点分开成两段会更清楚点吧。）

What's more, it is agreed by all that（多余） human beings（用复数吗，human being是不是集合名词阿？） are social animals(??creatures?) living in various social groups. （这句话我觉得可以写得更好些,human being, as social creatures, live in the context of the society怎么样？）Therefore rituals and ceremonies share by those in the same group may help them to define themselves more effectively and exactly. （没有说明原因就therefore了）A case in point is the ceremony of the Christians' regulation of going church every week. （怎么都是教堂的例子阿）It is very common for people to do so in western countries, even if some of them do not know the exactly meaning of this ceremonies, especially the juveniles. However, this regulation has become a part of their lives. Through this ritual they may have a sense of belonging to a certain group, so that will define themselves more specifically. Just imagine that without this ritual, it may be more difficult for the people to define the western culture, what's more, the absence of such rituals and ceremonies would give rise to （谁能告诉我give rise是及物还是不及物的?）a sense of disorientation, which finally result in isolation. （这句我觉得还不错）
（这段写得好像不如上段好，思维比较混乱，没有有力论证，更合适的例子。而且我怎么觉得你的论点到底是在句首还是在句末阿）
However, emphasis upon the rituals and ceremonies should not obscure the significance of many other ways to better understand（又一次） a culture. For example, a culture's trend is usually displayed by its youth, who tend to seldom comply with the traditional rituals and ceremonies. In addition, the fabulously rapid development in both science and technology brings about many new ideologies to the society, which challenges the old rituals. The Chinese, who used to stay up with all the family members at home in the Spring Festival Eve, now prefer to go out for a drink or have a party with their friends in order to take fully advantage of the spring vocation. （这只能说是传统，而不是仪式吧）In this case, old rituals are far from enough to show all the aspects of a culture. To fully understand a culture, one has to make an overall research, because just rituals and ceremonies cannot make up the diversity of a culture.（没有紧扣主题，主题不是cultural but rituals and ceremonies）

To sum up, rituals and ceremonies are vital when we define a culture, for they stand for the culture's traditional beliefs and regulations. What's more, without rituals and ceremonies people tend to easily lose themselves in the changing world due to the acceleration of globalization. However, to know a culture more specifically and comprehensively, one should pay attention to many other factors that may also determine the characteristics of the culture.( 个句衔接的非常不自然，没有多大逻辑上的关系，但有很多逻辑关系词。)

菜鸟的一点意见，希望你多包涵。

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ValentinerUID: 121676

这个题是比较BT的说，想在这里请教一下的是，到底有什么样的例子可以fit for this issue？我在写的时候，就在例子上面花了太多的时间，导致差一点超时。
PS:in that=because，在文中不是定语从句

银杏UID: 134344

我查了一下，
ritual 和ceremony的不同是：
ritual 往往有不变的形式。几百年下来甚至是上千年，ritual 的形式都没有多大的变化，或者变化相对于ceremony而言很小。
关于宗教的通常是ritual. 就像我们拜佛祭祖（也许不恰当，我不太清楚怎样祭祖），古人大概也和今人差不多吧。 但我猜基督教的洗礼总应该是了吧。

而ceremony则不一样， 它往往反映的是人们在生产生活中的一些活动，可以是祭祀，欢庆，也许大吃一顿也能算。：D
形式不是严格不变的，而是根据需要变化的。包括如庆丰收，庆播种，求雨，还有我记得有个网友写得歃血为盟也是。
呵呵，看来我自己也要重写一篇了。