ISSUE144 高频 艺术家与评论家 超时30分钟，756字，语法已改。郁闷啊！多谢批改！！

jackygaussUID: 147842

144"It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

提纲：肯定原论点。
1．艺术是价值的载体，论证艺术的持久价值性。
2．艺术家是艺术的创造者，没有艺术家就没有艺术，是艺术家创造了艺术，从而创造了人类持久的价值。
3．不能否认评论家的作用和地位，但他们只是评价者，不是直接创造者。
总结。
10:33
Like the immortal literature works "the Iliad" and "the odyssey" organized by the ancient Greek epic poet Homer, the great film "Holiday in Rome" and "the Titanic" produced in last century, the outstanding music works "the Fate" composed by Beethoven, and the valuable paintings "the Monalisa" produced by great artist Vinci, a large variety of impressing works of art have obtained so overwhelmingly achievements that almost everyone would be dazzled before the brilliance of them. Then, as to the question "who provides something of lasting value to our society?", the answer is certain. It is the artist, who creates the lasting and immortal values!

To begin with, it is the art that embodies the value in most cases. What is the value? The value is something that enables us to identify good and bad, virtue and evil. Without value, the society would definitely be in chaos. Just imagine, if people in the history do not cherish anything, on the contrary, they are fraught with hatred, envy and aggressiveness, what would the world be like? Thus, our civilization would be withered or even destroyed. Fortunately, there exists the art. Arts, the concentrated expression of human beings' wisdom, culture, civilization and perspective of the natural world and emotional world, hold up like a boat the value us human beings have been appreciated and cherished for a long time. For example, (just take the example in the first paragraph) in the film of "the Titanic", we can feel the eternal theme of humans--the love. When jack gives up the hope of living and instead gives it to his true love Rose, and when he murmurs "live up" and slowly releases his hands until submerged in the abysmal sea, the heart of thousands of audiences would break up with tears flowing across the face. Not only the film depicts the love between boys and girls, it also further represents the true broad love among the human beings as a whole. Just by taking a look at the musicians' behavior before the impending death, we shall see how outstanding humans are! The lasting value is also found during the process of salvage. Therefore, it is art that expresses the eternal value of human beings and gives the society really something of lasting value.

Secondly, it is the artist who is the creator of the art that after all create or produce the arts. Just like the art carry the value, the artist carry the art Obviously, no artists, no arts. Arts are not some easy-caught simple issues. The pursuit of arts requires the acute perception and the deep love in humans and the world. Arts, which include novels, films, paintings, music, drama etc, also need the genius in art field to create. Not for Shakespeare, people nowadays would not have the opportunity to taste the beautiful works of his. Not for Vincent van Gogh, people today would never know there exist such valuable paintings. Not for Zhang Yimou, one of the greatest modern directors in China, people in the western world would not have a try of the Chinese appreciation of the love. Hence, the artist creates arts and the great artist creates arts of lasting value.

Now that it is the art that embodies the lasting value and it is the artist who creates the arts, then it would be ground to say that it is the artist who gives something of lasting value to the society. And this is maybe the probable reason for why the artists are so respected or admired by so many peoples all over the world.

However, I do not mean to overlook or ignore the importance of the critic who evaluates works of art. In fact, the critic plays a significant role in the process of evaluating and finding out good works of art. Critics are full of knowledge of art and often give the artists some relevant and valuable suggestions and even inspirations. In some manner, they are the catalysts of artists and arts. To some extent, they build up a bridge between the public and artists and precipitate the velocity of creating of arts of lasting value.

In conclusion, the artist creates the art and contributes something of lasting value to the whole society while the critic helps evaluate the works of art and makes necessary feedbacks to artists. They both help make our society more animated and teach us what love, probity, etc are. And most important is that it is ARTISTS, not critics, who give something of eternal value.
11:47

jackygaussUID: 147842

总感觉有跑题之闲啊！：（

jackygaussUID: 147842

呵呵，不好意思，顶一下。还望多多指点！

jackygaussUID: 147842

最后挽救一次。：）逃了微机原理课的唯一成果啊！

GITERUID: 138732

写得好长呀！ 看得都累了 ;)

almost everyone would be dazzled before the brilliance of them

这里好象dazzle形容的不是很合适！~~
dazzle: 1) to overpower with light
            2) to impress greatly or confound with brilliance
这两个解释都是用dazzle形容的发光的主体。
NCE4里面Beauty那篇把这个词用的比较合适，可以去看看。

Just imagine, if people in the history do not cherish anything, on the contrary, they are fraught with hatred, envy and aggressiveness, what would the world be like?

这里not cherish everything和后面的fraught with hatred好象没有什么对比的关系 :D

what would the world be like? Thus, our civilization would be withered or even destroyed.

这里前后没有因果关系而是一个设问，thus好象就不合适了

hold up like a boat the value us human beings have been appreciated and cherished for a long time.

什么意思呀？不通~~~

Secondly, it is the artist who is the creator of the art that after all create or produce the arts. (这句话好象说得很绕，如果只用art 和artist 来回说实际也没有强调，后面表示预期重复用and不是or)Just like the art carry the value, the artist carry the art Obviously, no artists, no arts(这里可以从创造的角度说避免tautology, 比如说没有创作的人，就没有艺术作品和它带来的价值). Arts are not some easy-caught simple issues. The pursuit of arts requires the acute perception and the deep love in humans and the world. Arts, which include novels, films, paintings, music, drama etc, also need the genius in art field to create. Not for Shakespeare, people nowadays would not have the opportunity to taste the beautiful works of his. Not for Vincent van Gogh, people today would never know there exist such valuable paintings. Not for Zhang Yimou, one of the greatest modern directors in China, people in the western world would not have a try of the Chinese appreciation of the love. Hence, the artist creates arts and the great artist creates arts of lasting value.
总结的很好

Critics are full of knowledge of art and often give the artists some relevant and valuable suggestions and even inspirations.

Critics who are full of knowledge in art could often...更明白一点，这里不用并列

分析的挺透彻的说，就是有些地方说art 和artist有点begging the question, 本人能力有限，希望能有参考价值 :cool:

吭哧吭哧啃啃UID: 153580

我马上写这题
先占个位置，待会儿给你看

jackygaussUID: 147842

多谢两位！！万分感激！！
TO GITER：谢谢你的意见，十分的中肯，你点出错处以后我才恍然大悟！有几点问题：
1。能帮我想一个合适的词来代替dazzled吗？
2。hold up like a boat the value us human beings have been appreciated and cherished for a long time.
我的意思是：hold up（承载）the value that human beings have been appreciated for a long time just like a boat.（就像船一样承载the value，然后把like a boat提前。不知道这样可以吗？好象很傻的句子哦。：））
3。我也觉得是不是有些偏题，或是更甚，跑题了。不过除了这两个分论点我想不出其他了啊。：（
4。最近老是怕写不够字数，结果用记事本写完粘到word上，老是超字数。其实还是废话多！另外这样一来时间也不够，哎，就剩20天了!

GITERUID: 138732

hehe~~和我差不多呀!~~
偶基本也只有20天了,4月1号上战场

GITERUID: 138732

dazzle那句话好象也不是很通顺,至少before外国人可能就看不懂是什么意思,可以这样说, 用一个metaphor: the brilliant made the dim world coruscate with resplendence, and everything beside like the fleeting image of a shade.
PS.改了孙远里面的一句,你看是不是合适:)

吭哧吭哧啃啃UID: 153580

语言佩服
建议后面critics那部分再加强，无论是抨击还是赞美
毕竟这一题有一个比较的成分在里面
头重脚轻，有点，和我一样的毛病
我现在写文章还像挤牙膏一样，45分钟300多字
郁闷，羡慕你有话说

heimrdjUID: 155751

Like the immortal literature works "the Iliad" and "the odyssey" organized by the ancient Greek epic poet Homer, the great film "Holiday in Rome"(Roman Holiday) and "the Titanic" produced in last century, the outstanding music works "the Fate"(可不可以这样说？是不是应该说Symphony 5?) composed by Beethoven, and the valuable paintings "the Monalisa" produced by great artist Vinci, a large variety of impressing works of art have obtained so overwhelmingly achievements that almost everyone would be dazzled before the brilliance of them. Then, as to the question "who provides something of lasting value to our society?", the answer is certain. It is the artist, who creates the lasting and immortal values!

To begin with, it is the art that embodies the value in most cases. What is the value? The value is something that enables us to identify good and bad, virtue and evil. Without value, the society would definitely be in chaos. Just imagine, if people in the(the 不要) history do not cherish anything, on the contrary, they are fraught with hatred, envy and aggressiveness, what would the world be like? Thus, our civilization would be withered or even destroyed. Fortunately, there exists the art. Arts, the concentrated expression of human beings' wisdom, culture, civilization and perspective of the natural world and emotional world, hold up like a boat the value us human beings have been appreciated and cherished for a long time.(怎么感觉有点拗口 like boat是干什么？) For example, (just take the example in the first paragraph) in the film of "the Titanic", we can feel the eternal theme of humans--the love. When jack gives up the hope of living and instead gives it to his true love Rose, and when he murmurs "live up" and slowly releases his hands until submerged in the abysmal sea, the heart of thousands of audiences would break up with tears flowing across the face. Not only the film depicts the love between boys and girls, it also further represents the true broad love among the human beings as a whole. Just by taking a look at the musicians' behavior before the impending death, we shall see how outstanding humans are! The lasting value is also found during the process of salvage. （感觉举两例子好一些 每个短一点 另外例子完了之后再论一两句是不是好点）Therefore, it is art that expresses the eternal value of human beings and gives the society really something of lasting value.

Secondly, it is the artist who is the creator of the art that after all create or produce the arts. Just like the art carry the value, the artist carry the art Obviously, no artists, no arts. Arts are not some easy-caught simple issues. The pursuit of arts requires the acute perception and the deep love in humans and the world. Arts, which include novels, films, paintings, music, drama etc, also need the genius in art field to create. Not for Shakespeare, people nowadays would not have the opportunity to taste the beautiful works of his. Not for Vincent van Gogh, people today would never know there exist such valuable paintings. Not for Zhang Yimou, one of the greatest modern directors in China, people in the western world would not have a try of the Chinese appreciation of the love. Hence, the artist creates arts and the great artist creates arts of lasting value.

Now that it is the art that embodies the lasting value and it is the artist who creates the arts, then it would be ground to say that it is the artist who gives something of lasting value to the society. And this is maybe the probable reason for why the artists are so respected or admired by so many peoples all over the world.

However, I do not mean to overlook or ignore the importance of the critic who evaluates works of art. In fact, the critic plays a significant role in the process of evaluating and finding out good works of art. Critics are full of knowledge of art and often give the artists some relevant and valuable suggestions and even inspirations. In some manner, they are the catalysts of artists and arts. To some extent, they build up a bridge between the public and artists and precipitate the velocity of creating of arts of lasting value.

In conclusion, the artist creates the art and contributes something of lasting value to the whole society while the critic helps evaluate the works of art and makes necessary feedbacks to artists. They both help make our society more animated and teach us what love, probity, etc are. And most important is that it is ARTISTS, not critics, who give something of eternal value.

第二段论述艺术的value可以短一点 毕竟题目是说critic 还是 artist 带来了lasting value重点应放在这上面
我觉得你第三段提到的genius很好 artist 就是牛 除了他们谁也别想带来lasting value
最后你的结论是And most important is that it is ARTISTS, not critics, who give something of eternal value.但你没给出充分理由说明不是critic带来lasting value, 主要只是对他们作了正面评价。
文字不错 比我强多了 ：）

juliozhaoUID: 144326

第二段的例子举的很好，但好象是论证的是艺术诠释了人类永远的主题，而持久价值性
用你开头的例子就很好了，好的艺术品，代代流传，经久不衰
总体感觉有点跑了，根据你的结尾，好像是BALANCE的观点。
语言方面挺强，改进一下文章的条理性，得到高分应该不成问题！
一点建议，仅供参考！！

jackygaussUID: 147842

多谢诸位的批评与指点！辛苦了！你们的意见对我很有帮助，我会回去修改的！
以后也要继续多看看、批批大家的文章，互相促进，呵呵！