Issue207 syd 今天的第2篇。大家支持一下！

sydUID: 151948

Issue207.Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.

The speaker suggests that without rituals and ceremonies, which serve as the compass for the coordination of certain groups and to a larger scale, a society, its people will have a diminished sense of who they are. I fundamentally agree with him/her, since it is our culture that defines us, and ritual and ceremonies are the most important parts of any culture.

The first point comes into my mind is that ritual and ceremonies helps define and embody certain culture. It would be absurd to define a culture by amount of regulations and definitions as law, as culture is more a custom than a restriction which people tend to believe in rather than conform to. Thus it is necessary to embody the very spirit of the culture by certain activities which can convey the ideas and believes which actually made up the culture. Then people naturally resort to ritual and ceremonies. In the process of carrying out these rituals and ceremonies, the procedure and the activities, even some restrictions, offer people detailed and concrete feelings and images that they can memorize and cheer for during and after their participations. A case in point is a traditional ceremonies in West China, in some uncivilized tribes, where the residents there had a strange and somewhat brutal way of treating the dead person. In the ritual held for the dead, his or her relations usually bring his or her body to the highest mountain of the area and tear his or her body into parts, then leave the body parts there with no further actions. It is through this relatively strange and brutal (in our civilized perspectives) way that the live memorize the dead. This example aptly illustrates that concrete actions taken at certain rituals and ceremonies help define the culture, as it is impossible for these uncivilized tribe residents to write any records or definitions about their culture, especially their unique way of treating the dead people.

Secondly, the rituals and ceremonies play a decisive function in today's formulation of the culture of some specified groups, especially some companies which their leaders endeavor to set up ideas that the whole members of the companies can identify themselves with. In fact, at this very point, rituals and ceremonies play as tools that best unite the leaders and the stuff, and convey the spirit of the enterprise to every of its members. In modern corporations, the celebration of the success in business seldom take place in some grand hall with stubborn procedures, but instead in some karaoke bars where the leader and the stuff cheer for their victory regardless of their societal status. This new and open ceremonies for business success, clears the gap between different social status, can finally contribute to higher efficiency and stronger unity to the company.

In sum, without rituals and ceremonies to embody the spirit of the culture, no matter traditional or modern, people of certain groups can hardly have access to identify themselves, and thus diminish the sense of who they are. It is through these procedures that the culture be inculcated into the minds of the people of their culture.

523words, 44mins. in pp3. :)
最近我会大量发文，快考了，需要互相修改的同学可以合作。

poohUID: 146994

Issue207.Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.

The speaker suggests that without rituals and ceremonies, which serve as the compass for the coordination of certain groups and to a larger scale, a society, its people will have a diminished sense of who they are. I fundamentally agree with him/her, since it is our culture that defines us, and ritual and ceremonies are the most important parts of any culture.开头两句话有逻辑漏洞,既然承认ritual&ceremonies只是culture的一部分，那么就是说除了ritual&ceremonies,还有别的culture可以使人们获得identity喽，i.e.你不是完全同意作者观点？还有开头第一句你的表达我不太肯定对不对，用的比喻意似乎不很准确

The first point （first point for what? 最好明确点,e.g. The very reason that support my point is that ...）comes into my mind is that ritual and ceremonies helps define and embody certain culture. It would be absurd to define a culture by amount of regulations and definitions as law, as culture is  more of  a custom than a restriction which people tend to believe in rather than conform to 定于从句要用逗号分开，否则还以为是修饰restriction . Thus it is necessary to embody the very spirit of the culture by certain activities which can convey the ideas and believes which actually made up the culture. Then people naturally resort to ritual and ceremonies. In the process of carrying out these rituals and ceremonies, the procedure and the activities, even some restrictions, offer people detailed and concrete feelings and images that they can memorize and cheer for during and after their participations. A case in point is a traditional ceremonies in West China, in some uncivilized tribes, where the residents there had a strange and somewhat brutal way of treating the dead person. In the ritual held for the dead, his or her relations usually bring his or her body to the highest mountain of the area and tear his or her body into parts, then leave the body parts there with no further actions. It is through this relatively strange and brutal (in our civilized perspectives) way that the live memorize the dead. This example aptly illustrates that concrete actions taken at certain rituals and ceremonies help define the culture, as it is impossible for these uncivilized tribe residents to write any records or definitions about their culture, especially their unique way of treating the dead people.最后一句让人confused, 仪式显然不是因为无法记载而产生的，况且跟你这段的main idea不符

Secondly, the rituals and ceremonies play a decisive function in today's formulation of the culture of some specified groups, especially some companies which their leaders endeavor to set up ideas that the whole members of the companies can identify themselves with. In fact, at this very point, rituals and ceremonies play as tools that best unite the leaders and the stuff, and convey the spirit of the enterprise to every of its members. In modern corporations, the celebration of the success in business seldom take place in some grand hall with stubborn procedures, but instead in some karaoke bars where the leader and the stuff cheer for their victory regardless of their societal status. This new and open ceremonies for business success, clears the gap between different social status, can finally contribute to higher efficiency and stronger unity to the company.

In sum, without rituals and ceremonies to embody the spirit of the culture, no matter traditional or modern, people of certain groups can hardly have access to identify themselves, and thus diminish the sense of who they are. It is through these procedures that the culture be inculcated into the minds of the people of their culture

整体感觉说服力不够，不深入；结构上，最好3个body,每个不要太长，我看过一篇指导性的文章说阅卷人prefer这种结构，不喜欢一段很长的文章；语言还要加油才行。body2没仔细改。

这是我写过的提纲：
1. Rituals and ceremonies give the identity to a culture in a distinct way. It is human nature that we are seeking for a group and culture that we belong to and take proud of, so that rituals and ceremonies affod to play the role to satsfiy our spiritual need by displaying the culture in a conspicious way to give us identity, digity and self-esteem. For instance, many Christian go to church every week and listen to the priest to read aloud Bible. Why they have to go to the church while it is also likely to read the script at home? In my view the very reaons lies that it is in the ceremony that they identify themselves as the children of God, as the saint diciples, it is in the church that they feel they have a spiritual communication with the Lord, hence, develop a sense of Christian.

2.Another advantage of rituals and ceremonies in defining a culture is the fact that those traditions tie people of the same religion and culture together and provide them a good chance to identify with each other in terms of their unique beliefs or conventions. It is common sense that we are all looking for someone that could resonate us and share belief in common, so that we need rituals and ceremonies to bring such people together and, in turn, they strengthen the culture. Consider, Chinese-Americans may lead a daily life the same with native Americans, yet they desire to meet someone else who are also Chinese-Americans to talk about Chiese cultures or traditions. That is the reason why spring festival means so much to them. Through the communication during Spring Festivials not only they acquire a sense of identity, but also once again recall or go over traditions otherwise forgotten in daily life.

3. In addtion to the two facets discussed above, there is still a imperative reason, that is , rituals and ceremonies back a nation as spiritual pillar. It is such movements that consolidate a nation and struggle to thrive in plague and torture ,keep optimisic and establish confidence. To illustrate my point, Gypsy could be the best example. As a misery nation, they have been experience ostracized many times and lead a nomad life, regared as a inferior people;however, Gypsy never stop dancing and singing and it is through their unique traditions that convince them the brighter future and  make a survival.

sydUID: 151948

谢谢POOHJJ，写完了就很郁闷，觉得很难提高啊，JJ可否指点一下？
我30号考试，现在作些什么好呢？

poohUID: 146994

你这篇写之前列过提纲，仔细想过吗?  关键是思路和分析，多想还有看看别人的文章。你还有时间呢，好好准备应该没问题，加油！

GITERUID: 138732

Issue207.Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.

The speaker suggests that without rituals and ceremonies, which serve as the compass for the coordination of certain groups and to a larger scale, a society, its people will have a diminished sense of who they are. I fundamentally agree with him/her, since it is our culture that defines us, and ritual and ceremonies are the most important parts of any culture.
这里感觉最后一句的界定有问题.文章是要我们说better define a culture通过两种仪式,而不是讲的重要性.因为涉及到重要性以后,会很自然的把问题转移到the comparison with other elements of the culture, 这样的话就比较容易跑题。

The first point comes into my mind is that ritual(?) and ceremonies helps(?)define and embody certain culture. (这个好象是整个文章的TS, 比如说在通过rituals and ceremonies界定一个文化,首先把rituals and ceremonies自身define一下 :eek: )It would be absurd to define a culture by amount of regulations and definitions as law, as culture is more a custom than a restriction(这个好象不能加定贯词) which people tend to believe in rather than conform to. Thus it is necessary to embody the very spirit of the culture by certain activities which can convey the ideas and believes which actually made up the culture(个人感觉应该把多重的从句用句子间的平行结构表达). Then people naturally resort to (to turn to something, sometimes something extreme, for help in dealing with a problem, 微软的解释, 这个词主要是在形容在一些没有选择的情况下所采取的极端的行动中使用) ritual and ceremonies. In the process of carrying out these rituals and ceremonies, the procedure and the(去掉the)activities, even some restrictions, offer people detailed and concrete feelings and images that they can memorize and cheer for during and after(直接用since好了) their participations. A case in point is a traditional ceremonies(?) in West China, (.)in some uncivilized tribes, where the residents there had a strange and somewhat brutal way of(in) treating the dead person. In the ritual held for the dead, his or her relations usually bring his or her body to the highest mountain of the area and tear his or her body into parts, then leave the body parts there with no further actions. It is through this relatively strange and brutal (in our civilized perspectives) way that the live memorize the dead. This example aptly illustrates that concrete actions taken at certain rituals and ceremonies help define the culture, as it is impossible for these uncivilized tribe residents to write any records or definitions about their culture, especially their unique way of treating the dead people.
例子比较合适，不过挖掘的不深，中间好象有些内容在重复讲，强烈推荐the element of styles

Secondly, the rituals and ceremonies play a decisive function in today's formulation of the culture of some specified groups, especially some companies which their leaders endeavor to set up ideas that the whole members of the companies can identify themselves with. In fact, at this very point, rituals and ceremonies play as tools that best unite the leaders and the stuff, and convey the spirit of the enterprise to every of its members. In modern corporations, the celebration of the success in business seldom take place in some grand hall with stubborn procedures, but instead in some karaoke bars where the leader and the stuff cheer for their victory regardless of their societal status. This new and open ceremonies for business success, clears the gap between different social status, can finally contribute to higher efficiency and stronger unity to the company.

In sum, without rituals and ceremonies to embody the spirit of the culture, no matter traditional or modern, people of certain groups can hardly have access to identify themselves, and thus diminish the sense of who they are. It is through these procedures that the culture be inculcated into the minds of the people of their culture.
inculcate: to fix something firmly in somebody’s mind through frequent and forceful repetition这里不合适 :)

个人感觉body2的内容可以提前, 先把R&C的作用表达的background写出来再从这种公司的小团体向社会这种大的范围引会更好,由于限时的原因吧! 好象embody的频率很高!~~一起努力吧!和你差不多同时考