issue116 第一次写这么多字

egg2000UID: 111631

116"With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society—including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences—will benefit greatly from international influences."

The process of global network is more and more fast sweeping allover the world, especially after the popularization of computer. I do almost agree with the speaker's claim that the international influence, in most cases, benefits most aspects of society.

In the term of education, the global network promotes the convenience of learning. Students in different parts can take in knowledge absently sitting in one class by long-distance teaching rather than correspondence. EF, one is the most famous English education organizations, has set up the long-distant English classes through the networks. The students from different nations can directly communicate with teachers through e-mail and microphone.  The network realizes the students absent classrooms to directly communicate likewise, which mends the traditional types of education. This advantage can cater to more students’ favor, because this long-distance type of education overcomes the limitation of space. So the international education provides another advanced type of education.

As for science, the global network also is beneficial. Nowadays, the researches are getting so various programs that it is impossible to complete perfectly them. We can find more and more researching projects involve international cooperation. In such cases, the global networks facilitate the communication of scientists in different parts. For example, Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS), prevailing in several nations, aroused the panic all over world in the early this year. The World Health Organization proclaimed the last situations of SARS in nations through the global network. And doctors and scientists exchange their ideas about prevention the further prevalence, inspection the trends of SARS contagion and treatment of the infection patients. So the international cooperation can accumulate the strength of scientific research in all nations.

However, the international effect is unnecessary conducive to art. Firstly, the global network promotes the diffuseness of arts. We can appreciate many artistic works in the internet now, while we only can enjoy these artistic works in museums in nations. However, with the art’s spreading, we also find the fact that art is near to assimilation. It is difficult to distinguish many capitals of nations and cities through their architectures. These modern skyscrapers are indeed full of international atmosphere, but lacking their own traditional cultural exhibition. Unfortunately, these traditional arts are paid little attention by contemporary people. A popular idea is regard as truth that only purchasing the international modern art is progressive while traditional arts is conservative. But the traditional culture is the base of others. And as long as cherishing the traditional art, the individuality will be created. So the international influence, in the field of art, is favorable, while sometimes is detrimental.

When it comes to politics, the global network, especially in economy is not necessary to play a favorable favor. The financial subsidies usually accompany the political interests between nations, especially after Cold War Age. As we all know, there are no free lunches in the world. For example, the Marshall Plan, which is regarded as a plan which powerful nations fund weak ones. But an economist in American George Mason University dissented that the Marshall Plan not only blocked the European advance and deeply intervened in European nations’ interior politics. His reports showed that the increase rate of economy in England, who received the most subsidies from America, is lower than other European nations. So the international relation set through the financial subsidy is not necessary, and quite possibly is harmful to weak nations.

In sum, the international influence is not always benefit in all respects of our lives. But we still can gain further communication and promote properly sharing the limited resource in nations.

marklsUID: 154364

The process of global network is more and more fast sweeping allover(all over) the world, especially after the popularization of computer. I do almost agree with the speaker's claim that the international influence(题目中复数各方面的影响，下同), in most cases, benefits most aspects of society.

In the term of education(term?查了半天也没见有领域的意思), the global network promotes the convenience of learning. Students in different parts can take in knowledge absently sitting in one class by long-distance teaching rather than correspondence. EF, one is（of?） the most famous English education organizations, has set up the long-distant English classes through the networks. The students from different nations can directly communicate with teachers through e-mail and microphone. The network realizes the students absent classrooms to directly communicate likewise, which mends the traditional types of education. This advantage can cater to more students’ favor, because this long-distance type of education overcomes the limitation of space. So the international education provides another advanced type of education.

As for science, the global network also is beneficial. Nowadays, the researches are getting so various programs that it is impossible to complete perfectly them(complete them perfectly? 你是要说少数人的力量难以完成吧？但变成了无论如何也完不成，加点修饰吧by…). We can find more and more researching projects involve international cooperation. In such cases, the global networks facilitate the communication of scientists in different parts. For example, Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS), prevailing in several nations, aroused the panic all over world in the early this year. The World Health Organization proclaimed the last situations of SARS in nations through the global network. And doctors and scientists exchange their ideas about prevention the further prevalence, inspection the trends of SARS contagion and treatment of the infection patients. So the international cooperation can accumulate the strength of scientific research(researches) in all nations.

However, the international effect（effects are） is unnecessary conducive to art. Firstly, the global network promotes the diffuseness of arts. We can appreciate many artistic works in the internet now, while we only can enjoy these artistic works in museums in nations. However, with the art’s spreading, we also find the fact that art is near to assimilation(同化作用！不错). It is difficult to distinguish many capitals of nations and cities through their architectures. These modern skyscrapers are indeed full of international atmosphere, but lacking their own traditional cultural exhibition. Unfortunately, these traditional arts are paid little attention by contemporary people. A popular idea is regard as truth that only purchasing the international modern art is progressive while traditional arts is(are) conservative. （没看懂三个BE 动词还是改改）But the traditional culture is the base of others. And as long as cherishing the traditional art, the individuality will be created. So the international influence, in the field of art, is favorable, while sometimes is detrimental.（这段比较费解，有点乱）

When it comes to politics, the global network, especially in economy is not necessary to play a favorable favor. The financial subsidies usually accompany the political interests between nations, especially after Cold War Age. As we all know, there are no free lunches in the world. For example, the Marshall Plan, which is regarded as a plan which（是定语从句吗plan作什么成分？） powerful nations fund weak ones. But an economist in American George Mason University dissented that the Marshall Plan not only blocked the European advance and deeply intervened in European nations’ interior politics. His reports showed that the increase rate of economy in England, who received the most subsidies from America, is lower than other European nations. So the international relation set through the financial subsidy is not necessary, and quite possibly is harmful to weak nations.

In sum, the international influence is not always benefit（beneficial） in all respects of our lives. But we still can gain further communication and promote properly sharing the limited resource(resources资源一般复数吧) in nations.
总体来讲,可以看出楼主的知识面很广,有些例子我是头回听说,强
语言方面,尽量用长句,少用be的结果,多借鉴范文的语言词汇.
结构上好坏各50%,不如有主有次,这篇本来就不太好些,这样显得立场不十分明确
我也是菜鸟.就说那么多,第一篇,不错了,努力吧,
欢迎你也来看我的作文

egg2000UID: 111631

多谢你的意见!
以前，我也是觉得这篇不好写，但是现在对作文感觉好多了，
于是我也就感觉自己写的还可以的。

我的例子也就是用google找的而已，我也没有什么知识面广啦！

我不是第一篇，而是第一次写这么多。以前我的文章都很短的，怎么也就在400左右吧，
所以这是我写得最长的一篇了，迄今为止。

我的句式和语言看来要多练习呀！

jianguoUID: 157933

用google怎么搜呀

egg2000UID: 111631

最初由 jianguo 发布
[B]用google怎么搜呀 [/B]

自己想到什么就搜什么了！
比如我最后马歇尔计划就是搜“国际关系 资助”搜出来的。

我觉得还是很有作用的。主要看你要知道自己想要的是什么，如果很含糊，google就没有办法了！

lightairUID: 150794

The process of global network is more and more fast sweeping allover the world, especially after the popularization of computer. I do almost agree with the speaker's claim that the international influence（s）, in most cases, benefits most aspects of society. （开门见山，表示支持）

（就教育而言，全球网络使得学习更方便了。）
In the term of education, the global network promotes the convenience of learning. Students in different parts can take in knowledge absently sitting in one class by long-distance teaching rather than correspondence. EF, one is the most famous English education organizations, has set up the long-distant English classes through the networks. The students from different nations can directly communicate with teachers through e-mail and microphone. The network realizes the students absent classrooms to directly communicate likewise, which mends（changes好点吧？） the traditional types of education. This advantage can cater to more students’ favor, because this long-distance type of education overcomes the limitation of space. So the international education provides another advanced type of education.

（就科学来说，全球网络也是有益的。）
As for science, the global network also is beneficial. Nowadays, the researches are getting so various programs that it is impossible to complete perfectly them（这句话有点奇怪？）. We can find more and more researching projects involve（involving） international cooperation. In such cases, the global networks facilitate the communication of scientists in different parts. For example, Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS), prevailing in several nations, aroused the panic all over world in the （in the 可去掉）early this year. The World Health Organization proclaimed the last （lasting?）situations of SARS in nations through the global network. And doctors and scientists exchange their ideas about prevention （preventing）the further prevalence, inspection （inspecting）the trends of SARS contagion and treatment of the infection patients. So the international cooperation can accumulate the strength of scientific research in all nations.


However, the international effect is unnecessary（unnecessarily） conducive to art. Firstly, the global network promotes the diffuseness （可用diffuse）of arts. We can appreciate many artistic works in the internet now, while （最好加个without the global network）we only can enjoy these artistic works in museums in nations. However, with the art’s spreading, we also find the fact that art is near to assimilation. It is difficult to distinguish many capitals of nations and cities through their architectures. These modern skyscrapers are indeed full of international atmosphere, but lacking their own traditional cultural exhibition. Unfortunately, these traditional arts are paid little attention（to） by contemporary people. A popular idea is regard (regarded）as truth that only purchasing the international modern art is progressive while traditional arts is conservative（while purchasing traditional ones）. But the traditional culture is the base （basis）of others. And as long as cherishing the traditional art, the individuality will be created. So the international influence, in the field of art, is favorable, while sometimes is detrimental.（这最后一句话似乎与ts相反了吧，应该是强调不利的一面吧。）

（再来看政治，全球网络尤其在经济方面重要性不大。）
When it comes to politics, the global network, especially in economy is not necessary to play a favorable favor（role?）. The financial subsidies usually accompany the political interests between nations, especially after Cold War Age. As we all know, there are no free lunches in the world. For example, the Marshall Plan, which （,which去掉）is regarded as a plan （in）which powerful nations fund weak ones. But an economist in American George Mason University dissented that （加个by arguing好点）the Marshall Plan not only blocked the European advance and （but）deeply intervened in European nations’ interior politics. His reports showed that the increase rate of economy in England, who received the most subsidies from America, is lower than other European nations. So the international relation set through the financial subsidy is not necessary, and quite possibly is harmful to weak nations.

In sum, the international influence is not always benefit in all respects of our lives. But we still can gain further communication and promote properly sharing the limited resource in nations.

本文结构比较好，值得借鉴，只是有些语法错误
小小意见。

egg2000UID: 111631

最初由 lightair 发布
[B]以上省略......
本文结构比较好，值得借鉴，只是有些语法错误
小小意见。
[/B]

:D  :D  :D
心中狂喜~
终于有人说我好了！
^_^！
看来多看看，多想想，还是有进步的！

当然我也要认识到自己的错误，我的语法和语言都不是很靓！ :(