issue214 天才儿童,大家帮我指点一下开头

吭哧吭哧啃啃UID: 153580

Issue 214 Society should identify those children who have special talents and abilities and begin training them at an early age so that they can eventually excel in their areas of ability. Otherwise, these talents are likely to remain undeveloped.

感觉开头写得不好，我不知道要用什么样的句子才能表达我的想法。希望大家指点指点。
The speaker contends that society should identify special talents and abilities children when they were young and begin training them to make sure that they will eventually excel. In my view, although undue interference from society might be counterproductive for an art talent, I strongly agree with the speaker otherwise.

First of all, in the realms of science, especially in physics, it is important for society to pay more attention on those geniuses so that they can eventually excel in research in the future. The special training, even a special school, can provide to them, where children at the same level will help and learn much from each other. In this free academic atmosphere, students will be aware of their acknowledged talent and this sense will constantly stimulate him or her to advance in the talented and interested areas, which cannot be provided by common schools. Therefore, social identification and conduction is essential for those geniuses catch their potential without delay.  

Secondly, students with outstanding talents for sport should be selected and trained separately for making sure that they will show their talents at the most extent. Only by the special training can an athlete in the future get the highest acme based on his or her special aptitude. I cannot find a reason not to support the special training when they were young. In modern society nearly every athlete who won the golden meddle have had the strict training at an early age. Special apparatus, well-skilled coaches and unique training plan corresponding to the athletes make sure that they can improve themselves largely and ultimately smash the record they made before.

In arts, society identification does a little to maintain/keep eventually excel and even do harm to them because of the limitation that exposed on geniuses. No one will go far to find the examples. Mozart, considered as a music genius when he was very young, find it is always difficult for him to express his own talents in music because his consideration on the society's respondence -- that is he has to cater the authorities' interest rather than do what he prefer  to when he writes his compositions. In contrast, Mozart light up his inspiration and creation after escaping from the power of authority. And the great work the 40th piano symphony completed later is a good example. Therefore, it seems that society should not interfere (interference) the growth of art geniuses when he or she was young.
In sum, besides teenagers with talents for art, I fundamentally agree with the speakers claim that genius, especially who does well in nature science and sports, should be identified and well educated when he or she is young. For that, a well planned training or a talent program will systematically conduct the talented child on his or her way to reach the full potential without any delay or detour.

dezhiUID: 156141

我在你的开头的基础上稍稍改动了一下，抛砖引玉，见笑~~~
The speaker contends that society should identify those children with special talents and abilities and begin training them to make sure their eventual great achievements. Although undue interference into society at an early age might be counterproductive in my view, I fundamentally agree with the speaker.

ps:“children when they were young ”－－这种说法很funny，呵呵

吭哧吭哧啃啃UID: 153580

谢谢啊,被你一改清晰多了

ps:“children when they were young ”－－这种说法很funny，呵呵

很丢脸,谢谢批评,这种低级错误我常犯,也就是这些常让我怀疑自己.总觉得象我这样一个粗心,大大咧咧,思维不严谨的人真的能过这一关吗?困惑!

月偏食UID: 158457

如果是我怎么开头呢？？想想……
Those children who have special talents and abilities are usually regarded as genius  and paid more attention to by public. However, we can not judge a child's future only through his or her childhood. In my opinion, ……再把原题意思复述一遍吧。
酱子，还行吧。

eaglezhouUID: 156651

Issue 214 Society should identify those children who have special talents and abilities and begin training them at an early age so that they can eventually excel in their areas of ability. Otherwise, these talents are likely to remain undeveloped.

感觉开头写得不好，我不知道要用什么样的句子才能表达我的想法。希望大家指点指点。
The speaker contends that society should identify special talents and abilities children when they were young and begin training them to make sure that they will eventually exce(可以尝试用设问句开头l. In my view, although undue interference from society might be counterproductive for an art talent, I strongly agree with the speaker otherwise.

First of all, in the realms of science, especially in physics, it is important for society to pay more attention on those geniuses so that they can eventually excel in research in the future. The special training, even a special school, can provide to them, where children at the same level will help and learn much from each other. In this free academic atmosphere, students will be aware of their acknowledged talent and this sense will constantly stimulate him or her to advance in the talented and interested areas, which cannot be provided by common schools. Therefore, social identification and conduction is essential for those geniuses catch their potential without delay.

Secondly, students with outstanding talents for sport should be selected and trained separately for making sure that they will show their talents at the most extent. Only by the special training can an athlete in the future get the highest acme based on his or her special aptitude. I cannot find a reason not to support the special training when they were young. In modern society nearly every athlete who won（用一般时会不会好点） the golden meddle have had the strict training at an early age. Special apparatus, well-skilled coaches and unique training plan corresponding to the athletes make sure that they can improve themselves largely and ultimately smash the record they made before.

In arts, society identification does a little to maintain/keep eventually excel and even do harm to them because of the limitation that exposed on geniuses. No one will go far to find the examples. Mozart, considered as a music genius when he was very young, find it is always difficult for him to express his own talents in music because（是不是because of好点？） his consideration on the society's respondence -- that is he has to cater the authorities' interest rather than do what he prefer to when he writes his compositions. In contrast, Mozart light up his inspiration and creation after escaping from the power of authority. And the great work the 40th piano symphony completed later is a good example. Therefore, it seems that society should not interfere (interference) the growth of art geniuses when he or she was young. （这段是不是有点游离主题）

In sum, besides teenagers with talents for art, I fundamentally agree with the speakers claim that genius, especially who does well in nature science and sports, should be identified and well educated when he or she is young. For that, a well planned training or a talent program will systematically conduct the talented child on his or her way to reach the full potential without any delay or detour.

sydUID: 151948

Issue 214 Society should identify those children who have special talents and abilities and begin training them at an early age so that they can eventually excel in their areas of ability. Otherwise, these talents are likely to remain undeveloped.

感觉开头写得不好，我不知道要用什么样的句子才能表达我的想法。希望大家指点指点。
The speaker contends that society should identify special talents and abilities children when they were young汗… and begin training them to make sure that they will eventually excel. In my view, although undue interference from society might be counterproductive for an art talent, I strongly agree with the speaker otherwise.

First of all, in the realms of science, especially in physics, it is important for society to pay more attention on those geniuses so that they can eventually excel避免复述开头 in research in the future. The special training, even语气的加强有些突兀 a special school, can provide to them, where children at the same level will help and learn much from each other. In this free academic atmosphere, students will be aware of their acknowledged talent and this sense will constantly stimulate him or her to advance in the talented and interested areas, which cannot be provided by common schools. Therefore, social identification and conduction is essential for those geniuses catchrelease 怎么样？ their potential without delay. 没有例子，有些薄弱，不过还是不错了

Secondly, students with outstanding talents for sport should be selected and trained separately for makingto make sure that they will show their talents at the most extent. Only by the special training can an athlete in the future get the highest acme based on his or her special aptitude. I cannot find a reason not to support the special training when they were youngredundant. In modern society nearly every athlete who won the golden meddle have had the strict training at an early age. Special apparatus, well-skilled coaches and unique training plan corresponding to the athletes make sure that they can improve themselves largely and ultimately smash the record they made before.lack supporting evidence

In arts, society identification does a little to maintain/keep eventually excelexcellence and even do harm to them because of the limitation that exposedaffectedon geniuses. No one will go far to find the examples. Mozart, considered as a music genius when he was very young, find it is always difficult for him to express his own talents in music because his consideration onconsidering the society's respondenceresponse? -- that is he has to cater the authorities' interest rather than do what he prefer to when he writes his compositions. In contrast, Mozart light up his inspiration and creation after escaping from the power of authority. 这两句似乎有些缺乏联系，40TH PIANO是怎么产生的，是如何escaping from the power of authority？的And the great work the 40th piano symphony completed later is a good example. Therefore, it seems that society should not interfere (interference) the growth of art geniuses when he or she was young.

In sum, besidesexcept the teenagers with talents for art, I fundamentally agree with the speakers claim that genius, especially who does well in nature science and sports, should be identified and well educated when he or she is young. For that, a well planned training or a talent program will systematically conduct the talented child on his or her way to reach the full potential without any delay or detour.结尾不错

比上一篇好，看的出来注意了以前的一些问题，论证深度和严谨方面还要加强，加油了！
有空看看我的哦。

莫名NUID: 146481

The speaker contends that society should identify special talents and abilities children when they were young and begin training them to make sure that they will eventually excel. In my view, although undue interference from society might be counterproductive for an art talent, I strongly agree with the speaker otherwise. （文章开头两句之间逻辑衔接不够）

First of all, in the realms of science, especially in physics, it is important for society to pay more attention on those geniuses so that they can eventually excel in research in the future. The special training, even a special school, can provide to them, where children at the same level will help and learn much from each other. In this free academic atmosphere, students will be aware of their acknowledged talent and this sense will constantly stimulate him or her to advance in the talented and interested areas, which cannot be provided by common schools. Therefore, social identification and conduction is essential for those geniuses catch their potential without delay. （论证偏离了主题句，你开头说是社会应该多关注天才，但段内说的是孩子们互相之间的影响，你可以再多加两句，就说社会应该为天才们提供一个相互帮助和学习的场所，然后在common school中稍提一下它的特点，就是对天才们不利的特点，这样就能连接起来了）

Secondly, students with outstanding talents for sport should be selected and trained separately for making sure that they will show their talents at the most extent. Only by the special training can an athlete in the future get the highest acme based on his or her special aptitude. I cannot find a reason not to support the special training when they were young. In modern society nearly every athlete who won the golden meddle have had the strict training at an early age. Special apparatus, well-skilled coaches and unique training plan corresponding to the athletes make sure that they can improve themselves largely and ultimately smash the record they made before.（可以举一下体操明星们的例子，她们都很年轻哦，而且也吃过不少苦，那么小的女孩子，心疼ING。。。不过你的论证也可以，我的只是参考意见，：P）

In arts, society identification does a little （little?）to maintain/keep eventually excel and even do harm to them because of the limitation that exposed on geniuses. No one will go far to find the examples. Mozart, considered as a music genius when he was very young, find it is always difficult for him to express his own talents in music because his consideration on the society's respondence -- that is he has to cater the authorities' interest rather than do what he prefer to when he writes his compositions. In contrast, Mozart light up his inspiration and creation after escaping from the power of authority. And the great work the 40th piano symphony completed later is a good example. Therefore, it seems that society should not interfere (interference) the growth of art geniuses when he or she was young.（呵呵，这个神童的例子不错）

In sum, besides teenagers with talents for art, I fundamentally agree with the speakers claim that genius, especially who does well in nature science and sports, should be identified and well educated when he or she is young. For that, a well planned training or a talent program will systematically conduct the talented child on his or her way to reach the full potential without any delay or detour.
文章还不错，比上一篇文章已经有了很大的进步，主题句有啊，不过文章的深度上如果能再努力一下，更严谨一点就更好了，写的时候注意句与句之间的关系，以及段内论证和主题句的关系，这个是很重要的！
继续加油哦！

吭哧吭哧啃啃UID: 153580

我没有偏题吧
写完了,看看别人的总觉得自己写得很片面啊,别人都是从判断神童的不可行性来讲的,回过来想想,自己说的比如艺术的神童就不要及早发现这一点,自己都觉得不可信.

（论证偏离了主题句，你开头说是社会应该多关注天才，但段内说的是孩子们互相之间的影响，你可以再多加两句，就说社会应该为天才们提供一个相互帮助和学习的场所，然后在common school中稍提一下它的特点，就是对天才们不利的特点，这样就能连接起来了）

谢谢,我的思维总是跳跳 的

谢谢 eaglezhou  和月偏食 和SYD

有空看看我的哦

好的

eaglezhouUID: 156651

我还有6天就要考了，紧张啊！