小弟第一次写雅思作文，望各位大大不吝指教

mwkluke168UID: 159030

Topics: Nowadays, tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different culture. To what extend do you agree or disagree?


In modern society, tourism has become one of the major forms of entertainment for human beings. More and more people prefer to enjoy their holidays by traveling within the country or overseas, instead of staying at home killing time.

Tourism provides opportunities for interchange between people from different nations, countries or cultures. During the communication, people are able to reach the fields that are unfamiliar or even unknown to them in the past. For example, in most parts of the world, citizens should drive on the right in the street while it is quite the opposite in Britain for people there drive on the left. Daily greetings also vary in different countries. In China, when people encounter, they usually greet each other in terms of asking the other people whether they have had meals, which often comes to a misunderstanding for overseas visitors are always considering it to be an invitation to dinner instead of an ordinary greeting. So tourism can greatly benefit people and help them broaden their horizon.

However, with the rapid expansion of tourism in the world, some adverse aspects of tourism, covered up by positive elements or too fractional to be taken into account before, have come to confront people in recent years. Tension between people is one of these. Visitors to Yun Nan Province, China, who have no idea of the Water-splashing Festival, may easily get annoyed for being splashed with water by all the people around, rather than get pleased for being genuinely blessed through water splashing. In another instance, people may suffer bad experiences or even be seriously injured, if they eat pork in Islamic countries, especially in front of Islamite.

As different cultures surely have some disagreements in certain parts, tension, resulting from the disagreements, is unavoidable. But it is just through the tension that the understanding is enhanced and broadened. That's because, during the process of solving the tension, people of each side all make attempts to look into the problem, find out the cause, use a change of themselves and tolerate the other, which results in that they have got to know each other better than before. So understanding in fact exists in conjunction with tension. Tension arouses further understanding and further understanding causes further tension. It is a circle and has no signs to cease at present.

Now we come to the conclusion that not only understanding but also tension are created by tourism. And it is just the tension that drives the understanding to progress time and time again.


另外，小弟还想请教一下："偷渡"用英语该怎么说？

chicagochenUID: 116575

Topics: Nowadays, tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different culture. To what extend do you agree or disagree?


In modern society, tourism has become one of the major forms【means is better]  of entertainment for human beings. More and more people prefer to enjoy their holidays by traveling within the country or overseas, instead of staying at home killing time.[第一段居然没对tourism creates tension 这一中心问题进行回应 作文考试作文太危险了】

Tourism provides opportunities for interchange between people from different nations, countries or cultures. During the communication, people are able to reach the fields that are unfamiliar 【＋with』or even unknown to them in the past. For example, in most parts of the world, citizens should drive on the right in the street while it is quite the opposite in Britain for people there drive on the left【改为 in britain where people drive on the left]  . Daily greetings also vary in different countries. In China, when people encounter, they usually greet each other in terms of asking the other people whether they have had meals, which often comes to a misunderstanding for overseas visitors[+who] are always considering it to be an invitation to dinner instead of an ordinary greeting. So tourism can greatly benefit people and help them broaden their horizon.

However, with the rapid expansion of tourism in the world, some adverse aspects of tourism, covered up by positive elements or too fractional to be taken into account before[这个插入成分逻辑不太清楚】, have come to confront people in recent years. Tension between people is one of these. Visitors to Yun Nan Province, China, who have no idea of the Water-splashing Festival, may easily get annoyed for being splashed with water by all the people around, rather than get pleased for being genuinely blessed through water splashing. In another instance, people may suffer bad experiences or even be seriously injured, if they eat pork in Islamic countries, especially in front of Islamite.【你举的这些例子时候都是文化差异造成的吧 和tourism没有必然联系 你因为别的原因到一个国家也同样有这样的问题 a case in point is that tourism creats inconve nience to normal life local people,i.e. busiy trafic,environmental problesms 】

As different cultures surely have some disagreements in certain parts, tension, resulting from the disagreements, is unavoidable. But it is just through the tension that the understanding is enhanced and broadened. That's because, during the process of solving the tension, people of each side all make attempts to look into the problem, find out the cause, use a change of themselves[ use a change of? adapt themselves] and tolerate the other, which results[result] in that they have got to know each other better than before. So understanding in fact exists in conjunction with tension. Tension arouses further understanding and further understanding causes further tension. It is a circle and has no signs to cease at present.理解和矛盾的相互转换 好怪的理论哦 至少论述不充分

Now we come to the conclusion that not only understanding but also tension are【is】 created by tourism. And it is just the tension that drives the understanding to progress time and time again.


另外，小弟还想请教一下："偷渡"用英语该怎么说？

stowaway
n.
偷渡者, 匿身处

你想说旅游创造了tension 然后tension居然促进了understanding 这个观点有点偏吧 而且第一二段你都没有讨论tension哦 小心有人判你偏题 还是自己显出靶子比较好 当然一家之言 仅供参考

mwkluke168UID: 159030

多谢谢大大，小弟一定会仔细修改的
不过其中那个unfamiliar的确是用to，而不是with
sb is falimiar with sth
sth is familiar to sb

chicagochenUID: 116575

哦 对的对的 我当时读得有些匆忙看错了