issue136 [color=#002dff]热门BT题 狒狒写来当靶子 掐！！

lovebrianUID: 157127

136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."


Although people often complain that they have no choice when they come across some obstacles, however, in my point of view the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare since people usually neglect the choices given to them and hold an illusion of lacking choice.

On the one hand, choices which are instilled in every realm of lives and based on the composition of many complicated factors, generally speaking, are always around people unless they take for air choices.  When graduate students of universities and colleges come into the society with an eye to getting proper jobs, they often grumble that there are no such jobs suitable for them with great discontent with the society, to be brief, they claim that there are no choices.  Just take the case as an example.  When a student faces the society, he/she faces a host of choices under his/her eyes in that various of companies and also various of jobs do exist and have strong stomach desiring plenty of fresh foods which means new employees and this is the case.  But why do young men think that choice is absence? The reasons are that the jobs do not match the major, that the salary is so little, that the work place is too far, and even that the work maybe so tiring.  These choices do stay there but are neglected by the young men who are so censorious and without long views.  In general, the first job of one is only a beginning of one's career and its main function is for one to be adapted for the circumstance of society.  The student could change the direction of job selection without the limitation of his/her major, accept the low level salary which would be enhanced a few days later, and hire a house for the first job even it seems worthless but significant.  These choices are just under the eyes of the young but finally become nothing but discontent.  The fact illustrates that choices are always before your hands waiting for your clever decision, but people take it granted without consideration that there is no choice.

On the other hand, when people face difficulties and they have choices but all of which are negative, they may argue that there is no choice; however it is not a circumstance lacking choices but one which means it is hard to choose the way.  People may have the same experience that though there are ways in front of them but they do not know which one to go when they drive at a strange place or somewhere especially when they find them lost in a forest during a holiday time.  What would they do? Generally, people would stop at the crossing and take out a map if there is one to check over the direction of make a phone call for help.  But few people would choose one way wherever it leads to and drive at once happily unless they are crazy or at a climax of exciting.  The reason why they do not choose one way and go is that they think there is no choice result from the fact that all of the ways--all of the choices indeed--are difficult to choose since each way may be a wrong way and each way would lead them to a deep mire with greater fog; each choice has the similar weight that they could not decide which one should be abandoned and which one is the best.  In other words, when people claim that the choice is absence, it is not the case, however, it is just the circumstance that people have difficulty in choosing.

To sum up, when people face a complicated circumstance though there are lots of choices or people face difficulties in a cleft stick, people may claim that there is no choice; however, the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.（658words 近2h）

papajohnsUID: 127722

Although people often complain that they have no choice when they come acrosscome across 是偶然遇到的意思， 改为encountersome obstacles, however, in my point of view the absence of choice is a circumstance that is 去掉罗索very, very rare since people usually neglect the choices given to them and hold an illusion of lacking choice.

On the one hand, choices which are instilled in every realm of lives and based on the composition of many complicated factors不太明白你的意思, generally speaking, are always around people unless they take for air choices.unless后表达什么意思,不知道是不是我太愚笨拉看不懂 When graduate students of universities and colleges come into the society with an eye to getting proper jobs, they often grumble that there are no such jobs suitable for them.with great discontent with the society, to be brief, they claim that there are no choices. Just take the case as an example. When a student faces the society, he/she faces a host of choices under his/her eyes in that various of companies and also various of jobs do exist and have strong stomach desiring plenty of fresh foods which means new employees and this is the case. But why do young men think that choice is absence? The reasons are that the jobs do not match the major, that the salary is so little, that the work place is too far, and even that the work maybe so tiring. This sentence is too longThese choices do stay there but are neglected by the young men who are so censorious and without long views. In general, the first job of one is only a beginning of one's career and its main function is for one to be adapted for the circumstance of society. The student could change the direction of job selection without the limitation of his/her major, accept the low level salary which would be enhanced a few days later, and hire a house for the first job even it seems worthless but significant. These choices are just under the eyes of the young but finally become nothing but discontent. The fact illustrates that choices are always before your hands waiting for your clever decision, but people take it granted without consideration that there is no choice.观点还是不错,分析的也很深入,语言不太地道

On the other hand, when people face difficulties and they have choices but all of which are negative, they may argue that there is no choice; however it is not a circumstance lacking choices but one which means it is hard to choose the way. People may have the same experience that though there are ways in front of them but they do not know which one to go when they drive at a strange place or somewhere especially when they find them lost in a forest during a holiday time. What would they do? Generallyspeaking, people would stop at the crossing and take out a map if there is one to check over the direction of make a phone call for help. But few people would choose one way wherever it leads to and drive at once happily unless they are crazy or at a climax of exciting. The reason why they do not choose one way and go is that they think there is no choice result from the fact that all of the ways--all of the choices indeed--are difficult to choose since each way may be a wrong way and each way would lead them to a deep mire with greater fog; each choice has the similar weight that they could not decide which one should be abandoned and which one is the best. In other words, when people claim that the choice is absence, it is not the case, however, it is just the circumstance that people have difficulty in choosing.分析为什么觉得没选择,里面有的比喻不错,很生动

To sum up, when people face a complicated circumstance though there are lots of choices or people face difficulties in a cleft stick, people may claim that there is no choice; however, the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.（658words 近2h）

其实我觉得你第一部分应该论述选择还是很多的,后面关于学生为什么觉得没选择可以移到第二个body.每段只能有一个主题,第二个body着重论述为什么觉得选择很少,是因为选项与期望值相差悬殊. 而且我还有一个建议就是段落多点,每段尽量一个topic.reader看得清楚而且不费力,再者多读,多看,感觉语言不太好,说的不好,请多包涵,有空看看我的文章issue99

lovebrianUID: 157127

最初由 papajohns 发布
[B]其实我觉得你第一部分应该论述选择还是很多的,后面关于学生为什么觉得没选择可以移到第二个body.每段只能有一个主题,第二个body着重论述为什么觉得选择很少,是因为选项与期望值相差悬殊. 而且我还有一个建议就是段落多点,每段尽量一个topic.reader看得清楚而且不费力,再者多读,多看,感觉语言不太好,说的不好,请多包涵,有空看看我的文章issue99[/B]

body1是说选择很多，是被忽视了
body2是在困难情况下，出现了所谓的没选择

看来你没看懂我的结构

语言问题的确存在的说~~thx

xqmelissaUID: 140370

天那,狒狒那么早啊?????
不行,我还处于半昏迷状态呢,改不了,等我清醒了再说吧

sniper613UID: 147372

136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."


Although people often complain that they have no choice when they come across some obstacles, however, in my point of view the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare since people usually neglect the choices given to them and hold an illusion of lacking choice.(完全赞成的立场)

On the one hand, choices which are instilled in every realm of lives and based on the composition of many complicated factors, generally speaking, are always around people unless they take for air choices. When graduate students of universities and colleges come into the society with an eye to getting proper jobs,（呵呵，和我想的例子一样啊） they often grumble that there are no such jobs suitable for them with great discontent with the society, to be brief, they claim that there are no choices. Just take the case as an example. When a student faces the society, he/she faces a host of choices under his/her eyes in that various of companies and also various of jobs do exist and have strong stomach desiring plenty of fresh foods（什么意思？foods-jobs?） which means new employees and this is the case. But why do young men think that choice is absence? The reasons are that the jobs do not match the major, that the salary is so little, that the work place is too far, and even that the work maybe so tiring. These choices do stay there but are neglected by the young men who are so censorious and without long views. In general, the first job of one is only a beginning of one's career and its main function is for one to be adapted for the circumstance of society. The student could change the direction of job selection without the limitation of his/her major, accept the low level salary which would be enhanced a few days later, and hire a house for the first job even it seems worthless but significant. These choices are just under the eyes of the young but finally become nothing but discontent. The fact illustrates that choices are always before your hands waiting for your clever decision, but people take it granted without consideration that there is no choice.
(第一：可以把一些jobs列举出来,for example, teachers, scientists, businessman, policeman, and so on.
第二：你既然说了很多工作可以选择，又说choice is absent, 有点混了，不如拆成两段来说，这样比较清晰一些)

On the other hand, when people face difficulties and they have choices but all of which are negative, they may argue that there is no choice; however it is not a circumstance lacking choices but one which means it is hard to choose the way. People may have the same experience that though there are ways in front of them but they do not know which one to go when they drive at a strange place or somewhere especially when they find them lost in a forest during a holiday time. What would they do? Generally, people would stop at the crossing and take out a map if there is one to check over the direction of make a phone call for help.（这个例子感觉不太好） But few people would choose one way wherever it leads to and drive at once happily unless they are crazy or at a climax of exciting. The reason why they do not choose one way and go is that they think there is no choice result from the fact that all of the ways--all of the choices indeed--are difficult to choose since each way may be a wrong way and each way would lead them to a deep mire with greater fog; each choice has the similar weight that they could not decide which one should be abandoned and which one is the best. In other words, when people claim that the choice is absence, it is not the case, however, it is just the circumstance that people have difficulty in choosing.

To sum up, when people face a complicated circumstance though there are lots of choices or people face difficulties in a cleft stick, people may claim that there is no choice; however, the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.（658words 近2h）
没有选择可以用这样的例子：conform to law and morality.  你的那个看地图的例子很牵强啊。
写得挺好的，就是时间用的多了些，呵呵，加油。

lovebrianUID: 157127

谢谢sniper兄~~~
看来两大段的写法~~挺失败的~~！sigh
时间长就是因为想不出例子来~~~FT~~后来笔记本快没电了，就写了些例子~~不太舒服~~

现在觉得脑子里紧跟ts要有例子~~然后就好写了~~

嘿嘿
再次感谢！

xqmelissaUID: 140370

136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
FT！写的这么多？？？？2个小时！！！干吗啊！！！考试时候肯定不行的，我都不写那么多了

Although people often complain that they have no choice when they come across meet some obstacles, however, in my point of view the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare since people usually neglect the choices given to them and hold an illusion of lacking choice choices.

On the one hand, choices which are instilled in every realm of lives and based on the composition of many complicated factors, generally speaking, are always around people unless they take for air choices. 看着晕,明显用中文生硬翻译的,改改啊! When graduate students of universities and colleges “graduate students of universities and colleges” change to “graduates” come into the society with an eye to getting find proper jobs, they often grumble that there are no such jobs “such jobs” to “job” suitable for them with great discontent with the society 啊???怎么好象意思有问题啊?, to be brief, namely they claim that there are no choices. Just take the case as an example. When a student students faces enters into the society, he/she they faces a host of choices under his/her their eyes in that various of companies and also various of jobs “and also various of jobs” cut down! do exist and have strong stomach 哈哈,中文表达,不需要了!就strong demands就行了 desiring plenty of fresh foods what is “fresh foods”? which means new employees and this is the case. But why do young men think that choice is absence? The reasons Reasons are that the jobs jobs do not match the major their majors, that the salary is so little, that the work place is too far, and even that the work maybe so tiring. 不需要加那么多that的! These choices do stay there but are neglected by the young men who are so censorious and without long views. In general, the first job of one is only a beginning of one's career and its main function is for one to be adapted for the circumstance of society. The student could change the direction of job selection without the limitation of his/her major, accept the low level salary which would be enhanced a few days later, and hire a house for the first job even it seems worthless but significant. These choices are just under the eyes of the young but finally become nothing but discontent. The fact illustrates that choices are always before your hands waiting for your clever decision, but people take it granted without consideration that there is no choice.
后面的语言问题基本就没有改了,抱歉!
TS说,存在选择,就看人们会不会用了.思路没问题!
但是觉得其实语言可以更简化一点的.

On the other hand, when people face difficulties and they have choices but all of which are negative, they may argue that there is no choice; however it is not a circumstance lacking choices but one which means it is hard to choose the way. People may have the same experience that though there are ways in front of them but they do not know which one to go when they drive at a strange place or somewhere especially when they find them lost in a forest during a holiday time. What would they do? Generally, people would stop at the crossing and take out a map if there is one to check over the direction of make a phone call for help. But few people would choose one way wherever it leads to and drive at once happily unless they are crazy or at a climax of exciting. The reason why they do not choose one way and go is that they think there is no choice result from the fact that all of the ways--all of the choices indeed--are difficult to choose since each way may be a wrong way and each way would lead them to a deep mire with greater fog; each choice has the similar weight that they could not decide which one should be abandoned and which one is the best. In other words, when people claim that the choice is absence, it is not the case, however, it is just the circumstance that people have difficulty in choosing.
说有选择,只是没有好的选择.
但是例子比较牵强的说

To sum up, when people face a complicated circumstance though there are lots of choices or people face difficulties in a cleft stick, people may claim that there is no choice; however, the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.（658words 近2h）


语言!语言!这个应该是你的最大问题了!看着不是很舒服啊.呵呵，比较熟了,说话重了点吧?
不过真的要加强的,觉得太中文化了.而且有点罗嗦.

思路问题不大,不过是不是太长了点啊?

你这篇文章，类似的和相关的文章可能有许多前人写过，或者还有范文。你可以搜索一下，对照一下这些文章。 或参照该帖：《在本版找前人作文的方法》http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthr ... hlight=%CC%E2%BA%C5

lovebrianUID: 157127

最初由 xqmelissa 发布
[B]136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
FT！写的这么多？？？？2个小时！！！干吗啊！！！考试时候肯定不行的，我都不写那么多了

Although people often complain that they have no choice when they come across meet some obstacles, however, in my point of view the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare since people usually neglect the choices given to them and hold an illusion of lacking choice choices.

On the one hand, choices which are instilled in every realm of lives and based on the composition of many complicated factors, generally speaking, are always around people unless they take for air choices. 看着晕,明显用中文生硬翻译的,改改啊! When graduate students of universities and colleges “graduate students of universities and colleges” change to “graduates” come into the society with an eye to getting find proper jobs, they often grumble that there are no such jobs “such jobs” to “job” suitable for them with great discontent with the society 啊???怎么好象意思有问题啊?, to be brief, namely they claim that there are no choices. Just take the case as an example. When a student students faces enters into the society, he/she they faces a host of choices under his/her their eyes in that various of companies and also various of jobs “and also various of jobs” cut down! do exist and have strong stomach 哈哈,中文表达,不需要了!就strong demands就行了 desiring plenty of fresh foods what is “fresh foods”? which means new employees and this is the case. But why do young men think that choice is absence? The reasons Reasons are that the jobs jobs do not match the major their majors, that the salary is so little, that the work place is too far, and even that the work maybe so tiring. 不需要加那么多that的! These choices do stay there but are neglected by the young men who are so censorious and without long views. In general, the first job of one is only a beginning of one's career and its main function is for one to be adapted for the circumstance of society. The student could change the direction of job selection without the limitation of his/her major, accept the low level salary which would be enhanced a few days later, and hire a house for the first job even it seems worthless but significant. These choices are just under the eyes of the young but finally become nothing but discontent. The fact illustrates that choices are always before your hands waiting for your clever decision, but people take it granted without consideration that there is no choice.
后面的语言问题基本就没有改了,抱歉!
TS说,存在选择,就看人们会不会用了.思路没问题!
但是觉得其实语言可以更简化一点的.

On the other hand, when people face difficulties and they have choices but all of which are negative, they may argue that there is no choice; however it is not a circumstance lacking choices but one which means it is hard to choose the way. People may have the same experience that though there are ways in front of them but they do not know which one to go when they drive at a strange place or somewhere especially when they find them lost in a forest during a holiday time. What would they do? Generally, people would stop at the crossing and take out a map if there is one to check over the direction of make a phone call for help. But few people would choose one way wherever it leads to and drive at once happily unless they are crazy or at a climax of exciting. The reason why they do not choose one way and go is that they think there is no choice result from the fact that all of the ways--all of the choices indeed--are difficult to choose since each way may be a wrong way and each way would lead them to a deep mire with greater fog; each choice has the similar weight that they could not decide which one should be abandoned and which one is the best. In other words, when people claim that the choice is absence, it is not the case, however, it is just the circumstance that people have difficulty in choosing.
说有选择,只是没有好的选择.
但是例子比较牵强的说

To sum up, when people face a complicated circumstance though there are lots of choices or people face difficulties in a cleft stick, people may claim that there is no choice; however, the absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare.（658words 近2h）


语言!语言!这个应该是你的最大问题了!看着不是很舒服啊.呵呵，比较熟了,说话重了点吧?
不过真的要加强的,觉得太中文化了.而且有点罗嗦.

思路问题不大,不过是不是太长了点啊?

你这篇文章，类似的和相关的文章可能有许多前人写过，或者还有范文。你可以搜索一下，对照一下这些文章。 或参照该帖：《在本版找前人作文的方法》http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthread...ht=%CC%E2%BA%C5

[/B]

啊。。。melissa把问题都说到点子上了！！！
555555语言阿~~~~~其实我还真不是翻译着写得~~555  郁闷阿~~

这个问题我得好好解决一下~~嗯嗯！！
说话不重不重~~~~很有道理的说~~~

写得长吗？我还有写到七百的想法~~~看来没必要了~~
后面那个body几乎都算不上例子~~~~本来想用个比喻的手法~~结果用得不伦不类的~~~效果适得其反了~~
sigh~~~

锻炼语言了！！！
btw   melissa有好的方法吗？