Issue36 individual greatness. plz criticise.

sydUID：151948

"The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."


Do the greatness of individuals can only be decided by the people live after them and the comments from their contemporaries are just useless as the speaker contends? I believe so, according to my personal observation, the contemporaries of certain individuals have little chance of making objective and just comments, which makes their ideas valueless. On the contrary, the people lived in a time later than the individual who is commented on are more likely to make meaningful and proper judgments.

To begin with, people lived at the same time have so many direct or indirect relationships between each other that their are connected in certain ways. When the individual that is commented and the commenter have benefits in common, he/she is undermost circumstances to be decided great. However, if conflicts existed among them, the judgment of the individual tends to be negative. For instance, no matter how well Bill Clinton had performed during the time he was in charge of the US goverment, his contemporaries of different political parties always want to find the mistakes and faults he made in order to prove him to be impotent to be an effective leader. When his sex scandal happened, these people overemphasized his mistake and want him to resign office, leave the Whitehouse. In fact, still a lot of people of that time believed Clinton to be a good president for the economic growth and the success of diplomacy. This case aptly illustrates that an individual's contemporaries are not qualified to make just and objective observation to offer unbiased comments on his/her greatness because of their relationships with him/her.

Secondly, the people live after the individual have another advantage to make just and proper decision on his/her greatness, that is, the effects and consequences of the individual's action and behavior are already there to help them make their judgments. To understand how this advantage works, one need look no further than the story of Neils Bohr. When Bohr was still a young scientist at about 25, he discovered several flaws of the established but not completed theory of Quantum Mechanics. He insisted on the idea that the electrons can exert mutual effect on each other regardless of the physical distance between them. Ironically, his idea was not accepted by the majority of the scientists of that time, including the giant of physics, Einstein. Furthermore, he and a few scientists who agreed him were even laughed at and were thought to be naive. But now, with the help of modern technology, especially the progress made in the field of communication, experiments have proved Bohr to be correct. Now the physicians give their most beautiful comments to him since they know he was right. From this case the advantage for the people lived after the individual to make just and proper decision on his/her greatness is clear and obvious.

To conclude, considering the relationships between the individual and his/her commenter and the advantage for the people who live after him/her to make their judgments, the right to make the best and most objective decision on the individual's greatness should better be left for the latter.

516wors 44mins, just in time ,pp3.

papajohnsUID：127722

"The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."

Do the greatness of individuals can only be decided by the people live after them and the comments from their contemporaries are just useless as the speaker contends? I believe so(,). according to my personal observation, the contemporaries of certain individuals have little chance of making objective and just comments, which makes their ideas valueless. On the contrary, the people lived in a time later than the individual who is commented on are more likely to make meaningful and proper judgments.这些句子也就表达了很简单的意思，用一个复杂句就可以搞定，看起来

也更清晰

To begin with, people lived at the same timethose contemporaries have so many direct or indirect relationships
between each other that their are connected in certain ways. When the individual that is commented and the commenter have benefits in common, he/she is undermost circumstances to be decided great. However, if conflicts existed among them, the judgment of the individual tends to be negative. For instance, no matter how well Bill Clinton had performed during the time he was in charge of the US goverment, his contemporaries of different political parties always want to find the mistakes and faults he made in order to prove him to be impotent to be an effective leader. When his sex scandal happened, these people overemphasized his mistake and want him to resign office, leave the Whitehouse. In fact, still a lot of people of that time believed Clinton to be a good president for the economic growth and the success of diplomacy. This case aptly illustrates that an individual's contemporaries are not qualified to make just and objective observation to offer unbiased comments on his/her greatness because of their relationships with him/her.这段讲同时代的人受各种因素的影响而不能给出公正的评价。观点不错，你应该在主题句体现出来你的意思。你的主题句要改一下

Secondly, the people live after the individual have another advantage to make just and proper decision on his/her greatness, that is, the effects and consequences of the individual's action and behavior are already there to help them make their judgments. To understand how this advantage works, one need look no further than the story of Neils Bohr. When Bohr was still a young scientist at about 25, he discovered several flaws of the established but not completed theory of Quantum Mechanics. He insisted on the idea that the electrons can exert mutual effect on each other regardless of the physical distance between them. Ironically, his idea was not accepted by the majority of the scientists of that time, including the giant of physics, Einstein. Furthermore, he and a few scientists who agreed him were even laughed at and were thought to be naive. But now, with the help of modern technology, especially the progress made in the field of communication, experiments have proved Bohr to be correct. Now the physicians give their most beautiful comments to him since they know he was right. From this case the advantage for the people lived after the individual to make just and proper decision on his/her greatness is clear and obvious.
例子不要描述太详细，简要的带一下就行了，节省时间来分析或在就其他的例子，有时用排比句带好几个例子显的更有气势又有说服力

To conclude, considering the relationships between the individual and his/her commenter and the advantage for the people who live after him/her to make their judgments, the right to make the best and most objective decision on the individual's greatness should better be left for the latter.
总体来说还是不错，拼写和语法都可以过关。再加上分析深入，我相信你一定会有不错的成绩，加油 :p


贴上来以后，换行出问题了。偶编辑了一下，见谅

papajohnsUID：127722

不好意思,回复成这样了,我想还是比较好看懂,就不编辑了.

sydUID：151948

Do the greatness of individuals can only be decided by the people live after them and the comments from their contemporaries are just useless as the speaker contends? I believe so(,). according to my personal observation, the contemporaries of certain individuals have little chance of making objective and just comments, which makes their ideas valueless. On the contrary, the people lived in a time later than the individual who is commented on are more likely to make meaningful and proper judgments.这些句子也就表达了很简单的意思，用一个复杂句就可以搞定，看起来也更清晰

nod 这个开头是写的不好。
revised version:
According to my personal observation, the contemporaries have little chance of making objective and just comments rather than people lived in a time later than the individual and their judgments are less meaningful and proper than the latter.

这段讲同时代的人受各种因素的影响而不能给出公正的评价。观点不错，你应该在主题句体现出来你的意思。你的主题句要改一下

my TS mentioned the point of the "relationship of the commentors and the individual", which is analyzed in the following sentences, why change? plz tell me more.

例子不要描述太详细，简要的带一下就行了，节省时间来分析或在就其他的例子，有时用排比句带好几个例子显的更有气势又有说服力

strongly agree, thanks alot

总体来说还是不错，拼写和语法都可以过关。再加上分析深入，我相信你一定会有不错的成绩，加油
贴上来以后，换行出问题了。偶编辑了一下，见谅

thanks alot! good luck for both of us :D