Issue185 特地到网吧模考的，感觉就是一个“吵”字

sydUID: 151948

好在去提前感受了一下键盘奏鸣曲 :eek:

------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
------正文------
Scandals, generally considered to be the plague of any society, exert negative effect on people's confidence of the society. However, according to the speaker, scandals can also benefit the society by attracting public attention on the problems they embodied. I agree with the speaker in this sense, however, things may become better when people listen to the speaker or reformer in advance to prevent such scandals from happening.

To begin with, scandals can show the otherwise hidden problems to the public. When people tend to believe that the current situation is as good as they hoped, scandals tell them it may not be the truth. Once, either the public or the practitioners of the energy industry think that the industry is in a good state. However, the Enron scandal, which announced the bankruptcy of the biggest and most powerful energy company of the world. Furthermore, problems also arise in the accounting industry simultaneously. The Enron scandal is related to the famous accounting firm--Anderson, which has its business all over the world. Tragically, Anderson is also destroyed by this scandal since the corruption of Enron will not be so serious without the help of its financial tactics. If not for the sake of this scandal, nobody could discover this hidden problem in both energy and accounting industries. This case aptly illustrates the function of scandals in revealing the problems that the public could hardly know through normal means.

Secondly, scandals help people realize what shall no longer be existed and urge the reform to be carried out. As mentioned above, Anderson is responsible for the corruption of Enron. In fact, the origin of this scandal is the weakness of the current accounting system that accounting and consulting are combined in one corporation. It is hardly for any conscious people to imagine the objectivity that accounting must have when it is carried out by a firm which also offers consulting to the same enterprise. Now, the rest of the accounting firms in the US are all deprived of the qualification to give consulting to any enterprise to avoid this critical problem. From this we can see that scandals actually help the reform and improvement to be carried out by proving what is right or wrong.

However, shall we depend on the scandals to make progress for a better society? The answer is no and we should seek for some better ways. Obviously, if the public could pay more attention to the idea and advice from the speaker or the reformer, many of these scandals can be avoided in advance. Actually, in the 30's of last century, some reformers had already noticed the problem of admitting accounting firms to provide consulting service to the companies they have business with since the accounting firms may lost their neutrality. However, little attention was given by the government and the firms. Only until the scandal of Enron and Anderson had happened did the legislators and the practitioners pay enough attention on this issue. However, it is too late. Therefore, more attention should be concentrated on the suggestions of the speakers and reformers. In this way scandals are likely to be avoided, and at the same time, the society can be benefited.

To conclude, scandals do exert positive effect on the improvement of the system and well being of the society. However, it should be the last resort and the public should pay more attention on the advice of the speakers and reformers.

575words 43mins at internet bar.

keldaUID: 156803

------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
------正文------
Scandals, generally considered to be the plague of any society, exert negative effect on people's confidence of the society. However, according to the speaker, scandals can also benefit the society by attracting public attention on the problems they embodied. I agree with the speaker in this sense, however, things may become better when people listen to the speaker or reformer in advance to prevent such scandals from happening.

To begin with, scandals can show the otherwise hidden problems to the public. When people tend to believe that the current situation is as good as they hoped, scandals tell them it may not be the truth. Once, either the public or the practitioners of the energy industry think that the industry is in a good state. 举例子的时候最好在前面加一个过渡词，这样显得有点突兀 However, the Enron  scandal, which announced the bankruptcy of the biggest and most powerful energy company of the world. 这个句子不完整，谓语呢？ Furthermore, problems also arise in the accounting industry simultaneously. The Enron scandal is related to the famous accounting firm--Anderson, which has its business all over the world. Tragically, Anderson is also destroyed by this scandal since the corruption of Enron will not be so serious without the help of its financial tactics. If not for the sake of this scandal, nobody could discover this hidden problem in both energy and accounting industries. This case aptly illustrates the function of scandals in revealing the problems that the public could hardly know through normal means. 论述地还可以在充分一些，为什么人们发现不了这些隐藏的问题呢？是因为不关注？还是因为公司刻意隐瞒？

Secondly, scandals help people realize what shall no longer be existed and urge the reform to be carried out. As mentioned above, Anderson is responsible for the corruption of Enron. In fact, the origin of this scandal is the weakness of the current accounting system that accounting and consulting are combined in one corporation. It is hardly for any conscious people to imagine the objectivity that accounting must have when it is carried out by a firm which also offers consulting to the same enterprise. Now, the rest of the accounting firms in the US are all deprived of the qualification to give consulting to any enterprise to avoid this critical problem. From this we can see that scandals actually help the reform and improvement to be carried out by proving what is right or wrong. 这一段的大部分都是例子，但是论述却不多，也不够深入。

However, shall we depend on the scandals to make progress for a better society? The answer is no and we should seek for some better ways. Obviously, if the public could pay more attention to the idea and advice from the speaker or the reformer, many of these scandals can be avoided in advance. Actually, in the 30's of last century, some reformers had already noticed the problem of admitting accounting firms to provide consulting service to the companies they have business with since the accounting firms may lost their neutrality. However, little attention was given by the government and the firms. Only until the scandal of Enron and Anderson had happened did the legislators and the practitioners pay enough attention on this issue. However, it is too late. Therefore, more attention should be concentrated on the suggestions of the speakers and reformers. In this way scandals are likely to be avoided, and at the same time, the society can be benefited. 为什么丑闻避免了，社会就获利了？你的上两段没有论述丑闻的坏处。等于说这里你重新提出了一个观点，但是却没有进行论述。
To conclude, scandals do exert positive effect on the improvement of the system and well being of the society. However, it should be the last resort and the public should pay more attention on the advice of the speakers and reformers.

文章的结构很清楚，第三段的观点也很新颖。
不足的地方论证不够深入，语言方面还可以再精彩一些。
都是个人意见，帮你顶一下.;)

sydUID: 151948

论述地还可以在充分一些，为什么人们发现不了这些隐藏的问题呢？是因为不关注？还是因为公司刻意隐瞒？

yes, this is a problem, and I think I forgot to add this sentence--" As both Enron and Anderson are the leading leaders of their industries, most people believed in them and ignored the obscure problems behind their prosperities. better?

这一段的大部分都是例子，但是论述却不多，也不够深入。

nod, however, I think this issue is on scandal, and I think it needs concrete analysis rather than abstract reasoning. Your advice is inspiring to me, anyway.

为什么丑闻避免了，社会就获利了？你的上两段没有论述丑闻的坏处。等于说这里你重新提出了一个观点，但是却没有进行论述。

the society can benefit by preventing the scandals in advance, which needs to adopt and pay more attention to the proposals of the speakers and the reformer, I think I mentioned it in my para, however, not enough clear, I need to improve. Moreover, I personally thinks that the negative effect of scandals are self-evident since the corruption of the large company is detrimental for the society as common sense, also, I will adopt your idea and avoid such problem in the coming exam.

文章的结构很清楚，第三段的观点也很新颖。
不足的地方论证不够深入，语言方面还可以再精彩一些。
都是个人意见，帮你顶一下.

thanks a lot, recently I do focus too much on cases while tend to ignore reasoning.
Good luck for both of us. I will take the test on 30.

lovebrianUID: 157127

你这种网吧摸考的形式不错啊
不过我在宿舍就可以了 CS 电视 电话 短信 聊天 哈哈  比网吧更强

gdhdannyUID: 125843

粗看了一下，写得很不错的说。

第三段看到了三个however，试着替换一下。论证结构比较完整，这是最大优点。

1 day left, keep on working!

sydUID: 151948

thanks bro :)

ylyhahaUID: 147021

这个方法绝！

papajohnsUID: 127722

------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
------正文------
Scandals, generally considered to be the plague of any society, exert negative effect on people's confidence of the society. However, according to the speaker, scandals can also benefit the society by attracting public attention on the problems they embodied. I agree with the speaker in this sense, however, things may become better when people listen to the speaker or reformer in advance to prevent such scandals from happening.

To begin with, scandals can showreveal更好 (the otherwise hidden problems )用的不错to the public. When people tend to believe that the current situation is as good as they hoped, scandals tell them it may not be the truth. Once, either the public or the practitioners of the energy industry think that the industry is in a good state. However, the Enron scandal, which announced the bankruptcy of the biggest and most powerful energy company of the world. Furthermore, problems also arise in the accounting industry simultaneously. The Enron scandal is related to the famous accounting firm--Anderson, which has its business all over the world. Tragically, Anderson is also destroyed by this scandal since the corruption of Enron will not be so serious without the help of its financial tactics. （If not for the sake of this scandal, nobody could discover this hidden problem in both energy and accounting industries. ）这句话可以用一个虚拟语气的倒装句代替This case aptly illustrates the function of scandals in revealing the problems that the public could hardly know through normal means.

Secondly, scandals help people realize what shall no longer be existed and urge the reform to be carried out. As mentioned above, Anderson is responsible for the corruption of Enron. In fact, the origin of this scandal is the weakness of the current accounting system that accounting and consulting are combined in one corporation. It is hardly for any conscious people to imagine the objectivity that accounting must have when it is carried out by a firm which also offers consulting to the same enterprise. Now, the rest of the accounting firms in the US are all deprived of the qualification to give consulting to any enterprise to avoid this critical problem. From this we can see that scandals actually help the reform and improvement to be carried out by proving what is right or wrong.good para

However, shall we depend on the scandals to (make progress for a better society)make society a better place? The answer is definitelyno.instead(and) we should seek for some better ways. Obviously, if the public could pay more attention to the idea and advice from the speaker or the reformer, many of these scandals can be avoided in advance. Actually, in the 30's of last century, some reformers had already noticed the problem of admitting accounting firms to provide consulting service to the companies they have business with since the accounting firms may lost their neutrality.( However,)转折词很多亚，变换着用（ little attention was given by the government and the firms. ）Government and firms, nevertheless, show little interests to this suggestion。 有时主动语态更好Only until unlessthe scandal of Enron and Anderson had happened did the legislators and the practitioners pay enough attention on this issue. However, it is too late. Therefore, more attention should be concentrated on the suggestions of the speakers and reformers. In this way scandals are likely to be avoided, and at the same time, the society can be benefited.

To conclude, scandals do exert positive effect on the improvement of the system and well being of the society. However, it should be the last resort and the public should pay more attention on the advice of the speakers and reformers.
总之这片文章分析还可以，观点也清楚。就是感觉词汇没有多样化。当然限时写成这样已经不错了。保持状态考试肯定没问题

sydUID: 151948

thank cuty pig(if I may call you so):)
going ahead!

papajohnsUID: 127722

最初由 syd 发布
[B]thank cuty pig(if I may call you so):)
going ahead! [/B]

sure, as you will. good luck to you. :p