Issue 18提纲+全文

Silent_SirenUID: 3569979

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18.The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

无相关题目

Silent_SirenUID: 3569979

Outline:
1 基本支持此观点，表明观点，指出对权威的质疑是提高福祉的必经之路。
2 小让步，指出有些人也许会列举一些反例，诸如质疑过程中出现的混乱、迷惑等状况。
3 指出长期来说，质疑总是有好处的，同样拿上面的反例来说明在policical领域质疑权威的必要性。
4 进一步说明因为没有权威是完美的，所以应该质疑。列举了宗教领域的一些例子。
5 总结。


Is it good for a society’s well-being if authority is questioned? Some people believe that questioning authority is often linked to turbulent political and social changes, or even rioting and bloodshed, However, from my point of view, it plays an vital role on the indispensable way to improve well-being for the ordinary.

Arguers may refute my standpoint by taking the examples of chaos or confusion occurred when authorities are being questioned. They may contend that since the authority figures, such as political leaders, religious authorities or public intellectuals, are selected by the mass, questioning them may challenge some social norms, or even greatly impair the confidence in government, as shown in radical movements like OC Protest in HK.
(because the case I cited is a sensitive one, so I used the abbreviation here.)

I have to concede that those radical demonstrations may cause disorder on a short term view, yet they overlook the long term effects the protests or demonstrations will bring about, especially when it takes a proper form. Fundamentally, because there’s no such thing as a “perfect authority” in any field, it is query that would serve as an examinant, just as Benjamin Franklin said, “It is the first responsibility of every citizen to question authority.” Taking the above examples of protests in Hong Kong, we should realize that OC is not an accidental event. In fact, there have been a variety of milder pro-democracy demonstrations, such as the annual demonstrations XXX, that aim to protect the rights for the minority, sometimes by opposing legislation with a high disapproval rating. Consequently, it is through protection of those civil rights that the social well-being is promoted.
从上段的例子，指出这种质疑虽然有demerits,但必不可少。例子：当质疑采取比较温和的形式时，它的好处就凸显了，比如可以保护少数人的权利。

It is commonly and widely exists that an authority was not be called into question, no matter a political or religious one. For the former, the cases are often seen in countries of authoritarianism or dictatorship, where corruption is more likely to take place, for a charismatic authority or a single party tends to speak to himself and wink at his faults. For the latter one, on the other hand, the consequences are equally bad. For example, fundamentalism largely erode women rights, by deprivation of education and work, polygamy and unequal legal treatment of women versus men, gay or lesbian rights are trapped in the similar situation. Fortunately, confronted by challenges of the few, those dogged political dogma or religious doctrine can be softened, and thus civil rights are accomplished brick by brick.
分别指出在政治和宗教领域，如果不质疑权威会造成怎样的后果，以及质疑可以保证少数派如妇女等的权利。


In conclusion, since no authority is born perfect, questioning one is the birthright for everyone. Although the seeming stable situation may be broken in such a process, in the long run, however, a variety of civil right may be promoted by questioning, challenging and even conflicting with authorities. Only through such approaches, can well-being of the mass be achieved.

本人的polital view比较radical一点，见笑了~
欢迎王老师及考友批阅。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

Silent_Siren 发表于 2014-10-22 10:34
Outline:
1 基本支持此观点，表明观点，指出对权威的质疑是提高福祉的必经之路。
2 小让步，指出有些人也 ...

18.The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

无相关题目

Outline:
1 基本支持此观点，表明观点，指出对权威的质疑是提高福祉的必经之路。
2 小让步，指出有些人也许会列举一些反例，诸如质疑过程中出现的混乱、迷惑等状况。
3 指出长期来说，质疑总是有好处的，同样拿上面的反例来说明在policical领域质疑权威的必要性。
4 进一步说明因为没有权威是完美的，所以应该质疑。列举了宗教领域的一些例子。
5 总结。


Is it good for a society’s well-being if authority is questioned? Some people believe that questioning authority is often linked to turbulent political and social changes, or even rioting and bloodshed, However,from my point of view, it plays an vital role on the indispensable way to improve well-being for the ordinary.

没有一个复杂而整合的观点
题目中的人们和权威都是很抽象的概念 建议你讨论具体什么人挑战什么权威
比如监狱的犯人挑战狱警会怎么样？
病人挑战医生的权威会如何？
科研人员挑战资深同行的权威又如何？


Arguers may refute my standpoint by taking the examples of chaos or confusion occurred when authorities are being questioned. They may contend that since the authority figures, such as political leaders, religious authorities or public intellectuals, are selected by the mass, questioning them may challenge some social norms, or even greatly impair the confidence in government, as shown in radical movements like OC Protest in HK.
(because the case I cited is a sensitive one, so I used the abbreviation here.)

你还没有论述自己的观点就讨论可能受到的挑战 这个顺序需要调整

I have to concede that those radical demonstrations may cause disorder on a short term view, yet they overlook the long term effects the protests or demonstrations will bring about, especially when it takes a proper form. Fundamentally, because there’s no such thing as a “perfect authority” in any field, it is query that would serve as an examinant, just as Benjamin Franklin said, “It is the first responsibility of every citizen to question authority.” Taking the above examples of protests in Hong Kong, we should realize that OC is not an accidental event. In fact, there have been a variety of milder pro-democracy demonstrations, such as the annual demonstrations XXX, that aim to protect the rights for the minority, sometimes by opposing legislation with a high disapproval rating. Consequently, it is through protection of those civil rights that the social well-being is promoted.
从上段的例子，指出这种质疑虽然有demerits,但必不可少。例子：当质疑采取比较温和的形式时，它的好处就凸显了，比如可以保护少数人的权利。


I have to concede that those radical demonstrations may cause disorder on a short term view, yet they overlook the long term effects the protests or demonstrations will bring about, especially when it takes a proper form.这句话倒是可以考虑作为主旨句的一部分
然后分别用两段来讨论短线和长线的影响


It is commonly and widely exists 选词 that an authority was not be called into question, no matter a political or religious one.不懂你这句话的意思  For the former, the cases are often seen in countries of authoritarianism or dictatorship, where corruption is more likely to take place, for a charismatic authority or a single party tends to speak to himself and wink at his faults. For the latter one, on the other hand, the consequences are equally bad. For example, fundamentalism largely erode women rights, by deprivation of education and work, polygamy and unequal legal treatment of women versus men, gay or lesbian rights are trapped in the similar situation. Fortunately, confronted by challenges of the few, those dogged political dogma or religious doctrine can be softened, and thus civil rights are accomplished brick by brick.
分别指出在政治和宗教领域，如果不质疑权威会造成怎样的后果，以及质疑可以保证少数派如妇女等的权利。
这一段想说不质疑的后果 你在主题句中应该提及well-being

综合你的思路，我觉得你可以这么写
1. 先讨论不质疑权威对福祉的负面影响
2. 再承认挑战对福祉带来的短期负面影响
3. 强调挑战对福祉带来的长期正面影响  

尤其要注意的是你需要有一个复杂的主旨句来概括几个分论点
另外，还是建议你讨论不同身份的人质疑不同权威的后果 这样更符合具体情况具体讨论的要求

In conclusion, since no authority is born perfect, questioning one is the birthright for everyone. Although the seeming stable situation may be broken in such a process, in the long run, however, a variety of civil right may be promoted by questioning, challenging and even conflicting with authorities. Only through such approaches, can well-being of the mass be achieved.

本人的polital view比较radical一点，见笑了~
欢迎王老师及考友批阅。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

Silent_Siren 发表于 2014-10-22 10:34
Outline:
1 基本支持此观点，表明观点，指出对权威的质疑是提高福祉的必经之路。
2 小让步，指出有些人也 ...

汗 我点评完了 没下文了

ClaretZUID: 3567572

以上同学论证了质疑权威的好处，但是我认为，虽然质疑本事是好的，但是质疑出现不一定会推出社会进步这个结论，质疑的方式会直接决定质疑能否对社会well-being起到推进作用，因此我通过质疑方式分类列提纲。提纲如下：
Whether the well-being of a society can be enhanced when many of its people question authority depends on how the people question authority.
If people question authority by revolution, then the well-being of the society will be ruined by the chaos.举例：埃及总统下台，新的政府执政，导致埃及国内不稳定。
If people question authority by going on strike, the well-being of the society will not be enhanced because the production of the society will be disturbed. 举例：芝加哥工人大罢工
If people question authority by proper methods, such as communicating with government in parliament or discussing the problems in media, the well-being of a society can be enhanced.

gzc405933323UID: 3574833

Thesis: questioning the authority can ameliorate the social welfare if there are many significant loopholes in the government policies that deteriorate the general welfare of the citizens and a procedure that enable the public to question the government rationally and legally and expect a swift reply by the government; however, the well-being of a society will be degraded if people radically challenge the authority and therefore entail chaos.
1.        The well-being of a society is improved by questioning authorities if there are many significant defects in the government policies that severely undermine the citizens’ welfare in general. 例子：北京雾霾和北京的环保监管政策上的漏洞。提出质疑能够让北京市政府意识到问题的严重性，从而促使其推出更有效的整改方案
2.        Questioning the authority can enhance the well-being of a society if the society has a procedure that enable people to question authority in a rational and legal way and requires the prompt response by the government。 例子：a. 听证会Public hearing. B. platforms for petitions比如白宫官网We The People页面
3.        The well-being of a society is undermined if people radically question the authority and generate the side-effect of social turmoil例子：占领中环（虽然这跟美国人的看法不一样，但是我还是得批判一番，希望ETS阅卷官尊重我的立场吧）

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

gzc405933323 发表于 2014-11-17 10:20
Thesis: questioning the authority can ameliorate the social welfare if there are many significant lo ...

18.The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Thesis: questioning the authority can ameliorate the social welfare if there are many significant loopholes in the government policies that deteriorate the general welfare of the citizens and a procedure that enable the public to question the government rationally and legally and expect a swift reply by the government; however, the well-being of a society will be degraded if people radically challenge the authority and therefore entail chaos.


1.        The well-being of a society is improved by questioning authorities if there are many significant defects in the government policies that severely undermine the citizens’ welfare in general. 例子：北京雾霾和北京的环保监管政策上的漏洞。提出质疑能够让北京市政府意识到问题的严重性，从而促使其推出更有效的整改方案

2.        Questioning the authority can enhance the well-being of a society if the society has a procedure that enable people to question authority in a rational and legal way and requires the prompt response by the government。 例子：a. 听证会Public hearing. B. platforms for petitions比如白宫官网We The People页面

3.        The well-being of a society is undermined if people radically question the authority and generate the side-effect of social turmoil例子：占领中环（虽然这跟美国人的看法不一样，但是我还是得批判一番，希望ETS阅卷官尊重我的立场吧）



首先要说的是这个提纲的基本结构挺好  符合1+3模型

我感觉你的第一个point的前提是政府政策有纰漏 和第二point提到的需要有合理合法的挑战渠道或程序 这两点在内容上并没有并列关系
这样并列在一起 未必合适

因此我建议你先讨论一种比较温和的情况 比如学界科研界对权威的挑战可以推动科研 从而提升社会福祉
然后再说 如果以合法的程序挑战政府也可以提升社会福祉
最后提出不合法的方式挑战就不行  

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

ClaretZ 发表于 2014-11-16 22:03
以上同学论证了质疑权威的好处，但是我认为，虽然质疑本事是好的，但是质疑出现不一定会推出社会进步这个结 ...

其实短时间的罢工也未必是坏事
我觉得还是可以考虑将authority进行分类
参见我楼上对gzc的点评

杨家齐UID: 3566396

18) The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Is the well-being of a society enhanced by many of its people’s questioning authority? I think this statement is too extreme for two reasons. Firstly, it fails to define the so-called “well-being”. Secondly, despite of the defects owned by authorities, this statement holds true only when voices questioning them are self-sustainable as well as being expressed in an appropriate way.

When it comes to define the status of well-being, different people would have different ideas.同是古希腊的两大著名城市，Athens以民主著称，而Sparta以军事化管理著称，两个城市都在不同意义上符合well-being概念。而相比之下斯巴达的民主成都，包括质疑权威的程度一定没有雅典强。

Ideas controversial to that of the authorities’ are usually mature and lack soundness.权威一般来说都是专业知识和相关领域经验人士的表率，质疑权威需要有强大的知识储备和足够的理论依据，而恰恰只有少数人能够做到合理质疑。举例如今的学术研究中，很多人故意歪曲篡改，或将现有领域的研究断章取义以确保自己的科研进度和头衔职称评定。

Sometimes, undue objection to authority can cause social convulsions that lead to serious disasters.往往会有居心叵测之人故意煽动民众反对权威，发动各种不利于社会发展的起义运动等。因此反对权威必须是以推动进步的目的，注意方式方法。如递交请愿书，上访等途径。

杨家齐UID: 3566396

原题：18) The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
我的思路：1，well-being定义不明确；2，反对权威的意见需要是有理有据的；3，反对权威的途径需要是合理的。

讨论后的思路：把people进行分类。1，科学家在学界挑战权威是好的，因为科学正确与否没有定数，科学进步的过程就是在于不断地挑战权威，此属普遍现象；2，学生挑战老师是不好的，因为如此会紊乱学校运作；3，工人挑战工厂权威也是不好的，因为会破坏生产秩序。

规律和方法：1，定义问题专门拿一段出来写不合适；2，能用分类时尽量用分类的思路写文章，尤其是看到概括性的概念时，因为分类论述的可操作性强，而且可以体现行文的复杂性要求stress complicity。按人（如：分为科学家、普通人）；按层面（如：在论述法律的作用时分为对于个人、企业、政府的不同层面）；按国家；按社会；3，写让步段时，必须强调在什么情况下对；在什么情况下错（即限定不同条件）

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

杨家齐 发表于 2014-12-1 22:09
原题：18) The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority.
Write ...

stress complicity 这是指什么？

杨家齐UID: 3566396

tesolchina 发表于 2014-12-2 22:28
stress complicity 这是指什么？

体现行文的复杂性要求stress complicity（评分标准之一）

补充：拼错了 应该是stress complexity
拖出去打200下鞋底板子

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

杨家齐 发表于 2014-12-3 01:31
体现行文的复杂性要求stress complicity（评分标准之一）

complexity 好吧

杨家齐UID: 3566396

tesolchina 发表于 2014-12-3 08:20
complexity 好吧