issue55 打井新写法？ 这个狠掐！！

lovebrianUID: 157127

------题目------
Competition for high grades seriously limits the quality of learning at all levels of education.
------正文------
In modern times, there is a debate concerning that whether the competition for high grades limits the quality of education.  The speaker claims that such a competition seriously dilute the quality of learning at all levels of education.  As far as I am concerned, however, students do benefit the necessary competition for high score, meanwhile, it is harmful for one to pursue high grades blindly.

On the one hand, there lies a necessity of competition for high grades in schools in that this sort of competition is the impetus for students to do well in their learning.  For one thing, high score, an actual and significant symbol of top students, stands for the statuses of one's learning level and something more important, that is one's confidence.  Although, the merely score is not the only judgment of one's strength, it is truly an objective and efficient method to evaluate a student.  And such a method is widely used from China mainland to the American continent.  So as to say, students pursue high score due to the fact that grades do offer them convincing evidence concerning their payment on learning.  For another thing, a school report with higher grades is more convincing and useful when graduates seek for jobs in the society.  Undoubtedly, every company would like to hire better ones than those whose school report is poor and abject since it is granted that high-scored students are better students, though it is always not the case.  To be brief, it is indispensable for students to compete for high score.

On the other hand,  to pursue high score  blindly though a competition way probably hamper the rounded development of students and influence the quality of education as a result.  As is known to all, cheating, an action without morality and honesty appears at most of school all too often.  Why can not avoid such a bad manner at schools?  One of the main reasons is that students have so strong desire for high grades that they would gain this goal by fair means of foul.  What's more, cheating is an easier way to achieve such a goal since it is very efficient and available to some extent and also easily to operate.  A survey about cheating was made by a teacher in some classes of a university.  The result shows that even more than a half of students acknowledged that they had cheating actions before or had a tendency to do so.  It illustrates that such a competition probably goes through a wrong way and leads students to form a habit of cheat.  Moreover, a drastic and malformed competition maybe demolishes the comity between students.  If students have hate against each other, what situation it would turn to be at schools!

Accordingly, a proper and moderate competition for scores is required.  To form a fraternal and honest atmosphere st schools, would enhance the quality of education in that students would like work hard to gain a better achievement and such hard working would supercede cheating or any other so-called shortcuts.  At the same time, educators and schools should pay more attention on developing students' rounded capability than encouraging students to compete only to find that what they really mastered is the skill of taking tests and gaining high grades ultimately.  In a word, in some sense, schools may send lots of test takers into the society rather than the true persons with ability.

In conclusion, whether the competition to gain high grades is harmful or beneficial depends upon the extent and ways of it.  Students as well as educators ought to make a consideration about the moderation of competitions in order to let it be more valuable and useful but little defects.(620)

此文写得不好 感觉不好 没写什么例子 而且前面感觉话没说完 后面感觉没话说   不料这样竟然也上了六百~~ :mad:

fishergirlUID: 152325

狒狒真的很勤奋，一大早就打井了，呵呵！

我抢个一楼先：）

kenwuUID: 154956

In modern times, there is a debate concerning that whether the competition for high grades limits the quality of education. The speaker claims that such a competition seriously dilute the quality of learning at all levels of education. As far as I am concerned, however, students do benefit the necessary competition for high score, meanwhile, it is harmful for one to pursue high grades blindly.

On the one hand, there lies a necessity of competition for high grades in schools in that (in which) this sort of competition is the impetus for students to do well in their learning. For one thing, high score, an actual and significant symbol of top students, stands for the statuses of one's learning level and something more important, that (which) is one's confidence. Although, the merely (mere) score is not the only judgment of one's strength, it is truly an objective and efficient method to evaluate a student. And such a method is widely used from China mainland to the American continent. So as to say, students pursue high score due to the fact that grades do offer them convincing evidence concerning their payment on learning. For another thing, a school report with higher grades is more convincing and useful when graduates seek for jobs in the society. Undoubtedly, every company would like to hire better ones than those whose school report is poor and abject since it is granted that high-scored students are better students, though it is always not the case. To be brief, it is indispensable for students to compete for high score.
(对考试的客观性感觉论证没有力度，好像没有证明，我的观点是虽然考试存在不客观的地方，但它是至今为止最有效的，比较客观的方法)
On the other hand, to pursue high score blindly though a competition way probably hamper the rounded development of students and influence the quality of education as a result. As is known to all, cheating, an action without morality and honesty appears at most of school all too often. Why can not avoid such a bad manner at schools? One of the main reasons is that students have so strong desire for high grades that they would gain this goal by fair means of foul. What's more, cheating is an easier way to achieve such a goal since it is very efficient and available to some extent and also easily to operate. A survey about cheating was made by a teacher in some classes of a university. The result shows that even more than a half of students acknowledged that they had cheating actions before or had a tendency to do so. It illustrates that such a competition probably goes through a wrong way and leads students to form a habit of cheat. Moreover, a drastic and malformed competition maybe demolishes the comity between students. If students have hate against each other, what situation it would turn to be at schools!

Accordingly, a proper and moderate competition for scores is required. To form a fraternal and honest atmosphere st（at） schools, would enhance the quality of education in that students would like work hard to gain a better achievement and such hard working would supercede cheating or any other so-called shortcuts. (这句没看懂) At the same time, educators and schools should pay more attention on developing students' rounded capability than encouraging students to compete only to find that what they really mastered is the skill of taking tests and gaining high grades ultimately. In a word, in some sense, schools may send lots of test takers into the society rather than the true persons with ability.

In conclusion, whether the competition to gain high grades is harmful or beneficial depends upon the extent and ways of it. Students as well as educators ought to make a consideration about the moderation of competitions in order to let it be more valuable and useful but little defects.(620)

我的感觉全文还算流畅，但是好像论证的顺序有的问题，三四段换一下顺序好像比较符合逻辑，不知楼主觉得怎样？

jianguoUID: 157933

占个座，呵呵

kaventUID: 154493

哎？大家好像都在写I55 :)
而且观点好像都走中间路线，
我写过一篇比较cynical的，你可以来看看
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=177946&highlight=issue55

你的文章我看完了的，但一会就要出去了，下午回来帮你改~

In modern times, there is a debate concerning that whether the competition for high grades limits the quality of education. The speaker claims that such a competition seriously dilute可以形容quality吗？ the quality of learning at all levels of education. As far as I am concerned, however, students do benefitfrom the necessary competition for high score, meanwhile, it is harmful for one to pursue high grades blindly.

On the one hand, there lies a necessity of competition for high grades in schools in that this sort of competition is the impetus for students to do well in their learning. For one thing, high score, an actual and significant symbol of top students, stands for the statuses of one's learning level and something more important, that is one's confidence这点怎么体现？. Although, the merelymere score is not the only judgment of one's strength, it is truly an objective and efficient method to evaluate a student.既然你提出了反面意见，这句就不妨多讲些，否则显得没有根据 And such a method is widely used from China mainland to the American continent.存在即合理？我是说，如果你的意思是用这句话来证明分数的价值，好像没有说服力 So as to say, students pursue high score due to the fact that grades do offer them convincing evidence concerning their payment on learning. For another thing, a school report with higher grades is more convincing and useful when graduates seek for jobs in the society. Undoubtedly太绝对了吧？, every company would like to hire better ones than those whose school report is poor and abject since it is granted that high-scored students are better students, though it is always not the case你好像是像用这里例子来说明分数的重要性吧？不过题目讨论的学习的质量，你不妨过度一下：因为分数很好地体现了学生的水平，所以用人单位很看重。. To be brief, it is indispensable for students to compete for high score.你这里段都在论述分数的重要，突然说到竞争，为了不太突兀，可以在后面加：since high grade is such a effective and objective standard of reflecting the student’s personal ability and quality of study that make it worth competing…然后说这样的竞争因此dispensable

On the other hand, to pursue high score blindly though a competition way probably hamper the rounded development of students and influence the quality of education as a result. As is known to all, cheating, an action without morality and honesty appears at most of school all too often. Why can not avoid such a bad manner at schoolsno subject? One of the main reasons is that students have so strong desire for high grades that they would gain可以接goal吗？ this goal by fairunfair? means of foul. What's more, cheating is an easier way to achieve such a goal since it is very efficient and available to some extent and also easily to operate看来狒狒很有经验的说~哈哈~表扁偶. A survey about cheating was made by a teacher in some classes of a university. The result shows that even more than a half of students acknowledgedconceded是不是好点？ that they had cheating actions before or had a tendency to do so过去完成时吧？应该. It illustrates that such aimmoderate competition probably goes through a wrong way and leads students to form a habit of cheat. Moreover, a drastic and malformed competition maybe demolishes the comity between students. If students have hatejealousness against each other, what situation it would turn to be at schools!

Accordingly, a proper and moderate competition for scores is required. To form a fraternal and honest atmosphere stat schools, would enhance the quality of education in that students would like work hard to gain a better achievement and such hard working would supercede cheating or any other so-called shortcuts. At the same time, educators and schools should pay more attention on developing students' rounded capability than encouraging students to compete only to find that what they really mastered is the skill of taking tests and gaining high grades ultimately. In a word, in some sense, schools may send lots of test takers into the society rather than the true persons with ability.是不是反了？

In conclusion, whether the competition to gain high grades is harmful or beneficial depends upon the extent and ways of it. Students as well as educators ought to make a consideration about the moderation of competitions in order to let it be more valuable and useful but littlewith fewer defects.(620)


意思表达得比较清楚了，语言还可以加强些，我刚开始写Issue，还要向各位多多学习的说~

SRVUID: 157299

顶！狒狒起得好早啊，先吃饭去喽，回来帮你看

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

In modern times, there is a debate concerning that whether the competition for high grades limits the quality of education. The speaker claims that such a competition seriously dilute the quality of learning at all levels of education. As far as I am concerned, however(最好不要), students do benefit (from) the necessary competition for high score, meanwhile, it is harmful for one to pursue high grades blindly.

On the one hand, there lies a necessity of competition for high grades in schools in that this sort of competition is the impetus for students to do well in their learning. For one thing, high score, [U]an actual and significant [/U](the very)  symbol of top students, stands for the statuses of one's learning level and something more important, that is one's confidence(成绩证明自信心?). Although, the merely(mere) score is not the only judgment of one's strength, it is truly an objective and efficient method to evaluate a student. And such a method is widely used from China mainland to the American continent. So as to say, students(who) pursue high score due to the fact that grades do offer them convincing evidence concerning their payment(effort) on learning. For another thing,(for another) a school report with higher grades is more(相对于谁来说?) convincing and useful when graduates seek for jobs in the society. [U]Undoubtedly, every company would like to hire better ones than those whose school report is poor and abject since it is granted that high-scored students are better students, though(其实不提更好 分散火力了) it is always not the case. [/U] (憋死了~ :D这样好一点吗:employers inclined to hire people with a better performance on score paper not ragarding whether it is the real reflection of a person's quality ) To be brief, it is indispensable for students to compete for high score.

On the other hand, to pursue high score blindly though a competition way probably hamper the rounded development of students and influence the quality of education as a result. [U]As is known to all, cheating, an action without morality and honesty appears at most of school all too often. Why can not avoid such a bad manner at schools? One of the main reasons is that students have so strong desire for high grades that they would gain this goal by fair means of foul. What's more, cheating is an easier way to achieve such a goal since it is very efficient and available to some extent and also easily to operate. [/U]  A survey [U]about cheating was made by a teacher in some classes of a university. The result[/U] (连在一起) shows that even more than a half of students acknowledged(admitted) that they had cheating actions before or had a tendency to do so. It illustrates that such a competition probably goes through a wrong way and leads students to form a habit of cheat. Moreover, a drastic and malformed competition maybe demolishes the comity(?) between students. If students have [U]hate against [/U]  each other, what situation it would turn to be at schools!

Accordingly, a proper and moderate competition for scores is required. To form a fraternal and honest atmosphere st schools, would enhance the quality of education in that students would like work hard to gain a better achievement and such hard working would supercede cheating or any other so-called shortcuts. At the same time, educators and schools should pay more attention on developing students' rounded capability than encouraging students to compete only to find that what they really mastered is the skill of taking tests and gaining high grades ultimately. In a word, in some sense, schools may send lots of test takers into the society rather than the true persons with ability.

In conclusion, whether the competition to gain high grades is harmful or beneficial depends[U] upon the extent and ways of it.[/U] (不通) Students as well as educators ought to make a consideration about the moderation of competitions in order to let it be more valuable and useful but(despite) little defects.(620)

逻辑的问题不大,思路挺清晰的 表达再注意一点
分论点论证不太清晰
我再仔细看看

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

As is known to all, cheating, an action without morality and honesty appears at most of school all too often. Why can not avoid such a bad manner at schools? One of the main reasons is that students have so strong desire for high grades that they would gain this goal by fair means of foul. What's more, cheating is an easier way to achieve such a goal since it is very efficient and available to some extent and also easily to operate. A survey about cheating was made by a teacher in some classes of a university. The result shows that even more than a half of students acknowledged that they had cheating actions before or had a tendency to do so. It illustrates that such a competition probably goes through a wrong way and leads students to form a habit of cheat.

应该将例子融入论证中去 例子只是起辅助的作用啊

我这样写:
too many students show somewhat undesirable craziness for high socores and that is why the cheating never-endingly appeared in shcool. Unfortunately, a survey conducted by a  teacher in class shows  that more than half of the students have cheated or have a tendence to cheat in the examination even knowing it is wrong to do so. Such information indicate that ......

lovebrianUID: 157127

最初由 kenwu 发布
[B](对考试的客观性感觉论证没有力度，好像没有证明，我的观点是虽然考试存在不客观的地方，但它是至今为止最有效的，比较客观的方法)

我的感觉全文还算流畅，但是好像论证的顺序有的问题，三四段换一下顺序好像比较符合逻辑，不知楼主觉得怎样？
[/B]

:cool: 谢谢Kenwu~~
前面对于考试的评论 展开的面比较广 因而没什么例子 也不深入

至于论证顺序 我觉得倒过来还不如不动~~毕竟body3是建立在前两个的基础上的阿

这篇很不成功 :mad:  :mad:

lovebrianUID: 157127

最初由 九月爱上乒乓球 发布
In modern times, there is a debate concerning that whether the competition for high grades limits the quality of education. The speaker claims that such a competition seriously dilute the quality of learning at all levels of education. As far as I am concerned, however(最好不要), students do benefit (from) the necessary competition for high score, meanwhile, it is harmful for one to pursue high grades blindly.

On the one hand, there lies a necessity of competition for high grades in schools in that this sort of competition is the impetus for students to do well in their learning. For one thing, high score, an actual and significant (the very) symbol of top students, stands for the statuses of one's learning level and something more important, that is one's confidence(成绩证明自信心?)high score对自信~. Although, the merely(mere) score is not the only judgment of one's strength, it is truly an objective and efficient method to evaluate a student. And such a method is widely used from China mainland to the American continent. So as to say, students(who) pursue high score due to the fact that grades do offer them convincing evidence concerning their payment(effort) on learning. For another thing,(for another) a school report with higher grades is more(相对于谁来说?) convincing and useful when graduates seek for jobs in the society. Undoubtedly, every company would like to hire better ones than those whose school report is poor and abject since it is granted that high-scored students are better students, though(其实不提更好 分散火力了) it is always not the case. (憋死了~ 又长了……这样好一点吗:employers inclined to hire people with a better performance on score paper not ragarding whether it is the real reflection of a person's quality ) 九月表达的就是好啊！To be brief, it is indispensable for students to compete for high score.

On the other hand, to pursue high score blindly though a competition way probably hamper the rounded development of students and influence the quality of education as a result. As is known to all, cheating, an action without morality and honesty appears at most of school all too often. Why can not avoid such a bad manner at schools? One of the main reasons is that students have so strong desire for high grades that they would gain this goal by fair means of foul. What's more, cheating is an easier way to achieve such a goal since it is very efficient and available to some extent and also easily to operate. A survey about cheating was made by a teacher in some classes of a university. The result (连在一起) shows that even more than a half of students acknowledged(admitted) that they had cheating actions before or had a tendency to do so. It illustrates that such a competition probably goes through a wrong way and leads students to form a habit of cheat. Moreover, a drastic and malformed competition maybe demolishes the comity(?) between students. If students have hate against each other, what situation it would turn to be at schools!

Accordingly, a proper and moderate competition for scores is required. To form a fraternal and honest atmosphere st schools, would enhance the quality of education in that students would like work hard to gain a better achievement and such hard working would supercede cheating or any other so-called shortcuts. At the same time, educators and schools should pay more attention on developing students' rounded capability than encouraging students to compete only to find that what they really mastered is the skill of taking tests and gaining high grades ultimately. In a word, in some sense, schools may send lots of test takers into the society rather than the true persons with ability.

In conclusion, whether the competition to gain high grades is harmful or beneficial depends upon the extent and ways of it. (不通) Students as well as educators ought to make a consideration about the moderation of competitions in order to let it be more valuable and useful but(despite) little defects.(620)

逻辑的问题不大,思路挺清晰的 表达再注意一点
分论点论证不太清晰感觉篇幅不适合写得太广，忘了是谁说过了，五六百字想写得太全面很难阿~~伤其十指不如断其一指
我再仔细看看

应该将例子融入论证中去 例子只是起辅助的作用啊

我这样写:
too many students show somewhat undesirable craziness for high socores and that is why the cheating never-endingly appeared in shcool. Unfortunately, a survey conducted by a teacher in class shows that more than half of the students have cheated or have a tendence to cheat in the examination even knowing it is wrong to do so. Such information indicate that ......
是的是的~~例子尽量再简化~~关键在于分析~~！很对！这个写法好多了~~ :cool:

十分感谢九月mm的认真批改~~~~偶会继续努力的~~~语言上已经在改毛病了~~~不过很郁闷~~时间跟语言质量之间有个不小的矛盾阿~~~sigh~~~
再次感谢！

lovebrianUID: 157127

最初由 kavent 发布
In modern times, there is a debate concerning that whether the competition for high grades limits the quality of education. The speaker claims that such a competition seriously dilute可以形容quality吗？ the quality of learning at all levels of education. As far as I am concerned, however, students do benefitfrom the necessary competition for high score, meanwhile, it is harmful for one to pursue high grades blindly.

On the one hand, there lies a necessity of competition for high grades in schools in that this sort of competition is the impetus for students to do well in their learning. For one thing, high score, an actual and significant symbol of top students, stands for the statuses of one's learning level and something more important, that is one's confidence这点怎么体现？. Although, the merelymere score is not the only judgment of one's strength, it is truly an objective and efficient method to evaluate a student.既然你提出了反面意见，这句就不妨多讲些，否则显得没有根据 And such a method is widely used from China mainland to the American continent.存在即合理？我是说，如果你的意思是用这句话来证明分数的价值，好像没有说服力 So as to say, students pursue high score due to the fact that grades do offer them convincing evidence concerning their payment on learning. For another thing, a school report with higher grades is more convincing and useful when graduates seek for jobs in the society. Undoubtedly太绝对了吧？, every company would like to hire better ones than those whose school report is poor and abject since it is granted that high-scored students are better students, though it is always not the case你好像是像用这里例子来说明分数的重要性吧？不过题目讨论的学习的质量，你不妨过度一下：因为分数很好地体现了学生的水平，所以用人单位很看重。. To be brief, it is indispensable for students to compete for high score.你这里段都在论述分数的重要，突然说到竞争，为了不太突兀，可以在后面加：since high grade is such a effective and objective standard of reflecting the student’s personal ability and quality of study that make it worth competing…然后说这样的竞争因此dispensable
意见提得都很好~~~！我都没什么可说的了

On the other hand, to pursue high score blindly though a competition way probably hamper the rounded development of students and influence the quality of education as a result. As is known to all, cheating, an action without morality and honesty appears at most of school all too often. Why can not avoid such a bad manner at schoolsno subject? One of the main reasons is that students have so strong desire for high grades that they would gain可以接goal吗？信手用了~~sigh this goal by fairunfair? means of foul. What's more, cheating is an easier way to achieve such a goal since it is very efficient and available to some extent and also easily to operate看来狒狒很有经验的说~哈哈~表扁偶.  :eek: :cool:  A survey about cheating was made by a teacher in some classes of a university. The result shows that even more than a half of students acknowledgedconceded是不是好点？ that they had cheating actions before or had a tendency to do so过去完成时吧？应该. It illustrates that such aimmoderate competition probably goes through a wrong way and leads students to form a habit of cheat. Moreover, a drastic and malformed competition maybe demolishes the comity between students. If students have hatejealousness against each other, what situation it would turn to be at schools!

Accordingly, a proper and moderate competition for scores is required. To form a fraternal and honest atmosphere stat schools, would enhance the quality of education in that students would like work hard to gain a better achievement and such hard working would supercede cheating or any other so-called shortcuts. At the same time, educators and schools should pay more attention on developing students' rounded capability than encouraging students to compete only to find that what they really mastered is the skill of taking tests and gaining high grades ultimately. In a word, in some sense, schools may send lots of test takers into the society rather than the true persons with ability.是不是反了？没反阿

In conclusion, whether the competition to gain high grades is harmful or beneficial depends upon the extent and ways of it. Students as well as educators ought to make a consideration about the moderation of competitions in order to let it be more valuable and useful but littlewith fewer defects.(620)


意思表达得比较清楚了，语言还可以加强些这是偶面临的巨大问题！，我刚开始写Issue，还要向各位多多学习的说~谦虚撒~~~~我还down了你的阿狗呢 :D

jianguoUID: 157933

我说一下我的意见吧。总体感觉不错，但有时论证并不深入，你的例子呢？狒狒比我的词语好多了，学习之！共同努力呀。

lovebrianUID: 157127

to jianguo

我都没举例子~~！晕了~~不然怎么叫“新”写法呢~~~
我给人改作文的时候可是一直强调“例子”的~~~ 真FT~~

sniper613UID: 147372

------题目------
Competition for high grades seriously limits the quality of learning at all levels of education.
------正文------
In modern times, there is a debate concerning that whether the competition for high grades limits the quality of education. The speaker claims that such a competition seriously dilute the quality of learning at all levels of education. As far as I am concerned, however, students do benefit the necessary competition for high score, meanwhile, it is harmful for one to pursue high grades blindly.（你也开始用模版了？呵呵~~~~）

On the one hand, there lies a necessity of competition for high grades in schools in that this sort of competition is the impetus for students to do well in their learning. For one thing, high score, an actual and significant symbol of top students, stands for the statuses of one's learning level and something more important, that is one's confidence. Although, the merely score is not the only judgment of one's strength, it is truly an objective and efficient method to evaluate a student. And such a method is widely used from China mainland to the American continent. So as to say, students pursue high score due to the fact that grades do offer them convincing evidence concerning their payment on learning. For another thing, a school report with higher grades is more convincing and useful when graduates seek for jobs in the society. Undoubtedly, every（两个绝对化的词，还是稍微客观些。 In most companies） company would like to hire better ones than those whose school report is poor and abject since it is granted that high-scored students are better students, though it is always not the case. To be brief, it is indispensable for students to compete for high score.

On the other hand, to pursue high score blindly though a competition way probably hamper the rounded development of students and influence the quality of education as a result. As is known to all, cheating, an action without morality and honesty appears at most of school all too often. Why can not avoid such a bad manner at schools? One of the main reasons is that students have so strong desire for high grades that they would gain this goal by fair means of foul. What's more, cheating is an easier way to achieve such a goal since it is very efficient and available to some extent and also easily to operate. A survey(你也来survey? Argument里面没有批过？) about cheating was made by a teacher in some classes of a university. The result shows that even more than a half of students acknowledged that they had cheating actions before or had a tendency to do so. It illustrates that such a competition probably goes through a wrong way and leads students to form a habit of cheat. Moreover, a drastic and malformed competition maybe demolishes the comity between students. If students have hate against each other, what situation it would turn to be at schools!（竞争高分导致作弊，有些牵强啊。你还不如直接）

Accordingly, a proper and moderate competition for scores is required. To form a fraternal and honest atmosphere at schools, would enhance the quality of education in that students would like work hard to gain a better achievement and such hard working would supersede cheating or any other so-called shortcuts. At the same time, educators and schools should pay more attention on developing students' rounded capability than encouraging students to compete only to find that what they really mastered is the skill of taking tests and gaining high grades ultimately. In a word, in some sense, schools may send lots of test takers into the society rather than the true persons with ability.（又回到第二段去了，感觉重复了）

In conclusion, whether the competition to gain high grades is harmful or beneficial depends upon the extent and ways of it. Students as well as educators ought to make a consideration about the moderation of competitions in order to let it be more valuable and useful but little defects.(620)

读的有些晕，faint! 这几天很不爽。真想废了ETS。 写得还不错，层次挺清楚的，插入语也不少。加油哦~~~~~~~
Ps：我的新头像怎么样？

fishergirlUID: 152325

改完回来一看，我找出来的问题都被kavent提到了，呵呵，就不重复了。

不用例子也能达到这个字数，狒狒真的很强。仔细看了你的语言，比我的要简练多了。我自从被人告诫用长难句之后，就好像不太记得断句，汗~~~~~~~~~

我也觉得关于作弊的那个例子写的太长，九月的就精炼一些。

向你们学习！

PS：sniper的头像换的真快，这个很酷啊：）