Issue 45(138)-Competition for high grades limits the quality of learning

ClaretZUID: 3567572

本帖来自"14年秋季GRE提纲+全文互改小组"，欢迎关注！你还可以查看更多小组、创建小组

45)（45/138） Competition for high grades seriously limits the quality of learning at all levels of education.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
相关题目：138
请回帖时按照指引( https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1777364-1-1.html )列出英语提纲并用汉语解释并根据指引点评楼上的提纲。 第一个回帖的同学不必点评

ClaretZUID: 3567572

原有思路：
Competition for high grades limits the quality of learning at primary level of education and graduate level of education, while it improves the quality of learning in college education period.
At primary level of education, competition for high grades limits the quality of education because it will decrease children’s their interest in study and children’s creativity.初等教育的学习内容较为简单，主要目的是培养孩子对学习的兴趣，学习方法和创造力。对于高分的竞争会给孩子带来学习压力，低分和靠后的排名甚至有可能伤害孩子们的自尊心，因此对于高分的竞争会打压孩子们的学习兴趣。另外，应试教育使得孩子们的学习方法由自主探究变为背书和做练习题。同时，对于高分的追求意味着对于标准答案的追求，这会使得孩子们习惯于追求统一固定的答案而不是进行灵活多样的创新性思考，导致孩子们的创新性思维丧失。由于初等教育的主要目的是培养孩子对学习的兴趣、学习方法和创造力，因此追求高分的初等教育降低了教育质量。举例：中国的初等教育以及创新性丧失问题。
During the period of college education, competition for high grades improves the quality of education because it will make all the students try harder to learn their professional knowledge and purchase their ambition. 在大学中，学习的主要目的是学习专业知识。对高分的竞争能够让同学们以追求自己的志向为动力，在竞争压力下更加努力地学习，扎实地掌握知识。这使得教育质量得到提高。
At graduate level of education, competition for high grades limits the quality of education again because it will focus students’ time on examination rather on application of the knowledge or study in the field.研究生阶段的主要学习目的是应用知识和进行研究，而这两个目的是考试得高分难以达到的。如果在研究生阶段一味追求高分竞争，那么学生的时间会被准备考试占用，这两个目的难以达到，学习质量降低。

讨论后思路：
Competition for high grades limits the quality of learning at primary level of education and college level of education, while it improves the quality of learning in high school education period.
At primary level of education, competition for high grades limits the quality of education because it will decrease children’s their interest in study and children’s creativity.初等教育的学习内容较为简单，主要目的是培养孩子对学习的兴趣和创造力。对于高分的竞争会给孩子带来学习压力，低分和靠后的排名甚至有可能伤害孩子们的自尊心，因此对于高分的竞争会打压孩子们的学习兴趣。同时，对于高分的追求意味着对于标准答案的追求，这会使得孩子们习惯于追求统一固定的答案而不是进行灵活多样的创新性思考，导致孩子们的创新性思维丧失。由于初等教育的主要目的是培养孩子对学习的兴趣、学习方法和创造力，因此追求高分的初等教育降低了教育质量。举例：中国的初等教育以及创新性丧失问题。
During the period of high school education, competition for high grades improves the quality of education because it will make all the students try harder to learn their knowledge and purchase their ambition. 在中学中，学习的主要目的是学习基础知识。对高分的竞争实质上为对于进入更好大学的竞争，能够让同学们以追求自己的志向为动力，在竞争压力下更加努力地学习和练习，扎实地掌握知识。这使得教育质量得到提高。
In college, competition for high grades limits the quality of education again because it will focus students’ time on examination rather on cooperation and exploration.大学阶段的主要学习目的是合作和探究，追求高分的竞争关系不利于同学之间的合作；由于大学未定专业，对高分的追求会挤兑同学们探索感兴趣领域的时间。这两点导致大学教育的目的难以用追求高分的方式达到，因此教育质量降低。

感想：
对学业时间分类最好是小学，中学，大学。不要丢失其中的时间段，一般也很少讨论研究生阶段。另外，primary level of education一般指小学，而非小学、中学一起的初等教育。

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

ClaretZ 发表于 2014-12-7 22:25
原有思路：
Competition for high grades limits the quality of learning at primary level of education ...

其实我不太确定有primary level of education这种说法

chrishong119UID: 3412641

    TS
    The speaker claims that competition for high grades seriously limits the quality of learning at all levels of education. Well, competition for high grades would definitely cripple the educational quality for students before college, and would serve as a double-edged sword for students in college, undergraduates and graduates included.

    ts1
    For students in primary and middle schools, a competition for high grades is not in accordance with their major tasks would seriously limit the educational quality. 对于小学及中学的学生，其主要任务是掌握一些基本的知识、常识及民主社会理念，而非一味的追求高分，不然，会让学生脱离学习的主体，从小就在学习中感受不到快乐，并对求知产生厌烦，后果很严重的。

     ts2
    Competition for high grades would, to considerable degree, hamper the quality of knowledge learning for college students. 高等教育中，为了争取奖学金及其它各种机会，学生们会很拼命的追求高分，而不能够集中精力于知识的获取及专业的深入探究，毕竟，高等教育之所以有意义就是因为学生可以在里面追逐自己想要的知识、技能等等，而非仅仅为了高分。

    ts3
    But on the other hand, a sense of competition for high grades would help to irritate and push students to perfectly take their studies rather than with a loose attitude. 有些学生容易知足、懒惰，对知识的获取，随便一丁点儿就觉得可以了，这样子很让学生没有朝气的，也不会学好的。所以，对于高分的竞争意识，可以让学生们积极、主动的去高效学习，并精益求精，而非松懈下来。

zsczslUID: 2888426

45)（45/138） Competition for high grades seriously limits the quality of learning at all levels of education.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


TS (pt1, pt2, pt3): It is not rare in some schools and universities that students compete against each other in order to score higher. Some assert this behavior confines rather than releases the learner’s full potential, and hence hinder her progress of study in every educational stage. However, such point of view is prone to oversimplify the intricate world we are living in, where the effects of grade-centered learning at least differ at introductory, intermediate and advanced levels respectively.

prone to用法查一下  
introductory, intermediate and advanced levels 这个说得不清楚


ts (pt1): To begin with, in primary schools, the teacher introduces the most basic knowledge and most efficiently assesses to what extent her students acquire it via examinations. Therefore, at this level students need to be encouraged to compete for a higher score. Yet the competition should not be too fierce, since these innocent and naive nerves are quite vulnerable.小学生所学的知识是最基础的，而且他们神经脆弱，不宜承受过大的考试竞争压力。因此，鼓励他们为了更高分数而学，可以促进他们的学习，但给他们的考试压力必须适度。从这个方面来讲，题目中的观点只有在小学生面临过大压力而损害了学习质量时才是正确的，在其它基础学习阶段的情况下不适用。

你这个therefore前后看不出来有因果关系啊   
你这个观点太复杂了 在已经分了级别的情况下 你应该鲜明的指出针对小学生这个命题是否成立 不宜再加新的变化
如果你想指出竞争会给他们太大压力等等 你需要更多的细节指出 这样会对quality of learning有什么影响
实际上这里如何理解和量化quality of learning是很重要的  你这一段没有处理好这一点



ts (pt2): Furthermore, the students in middle schools are more intellectual and mature, so they can and should face more competitive assessment coupled with some enlightening programs of learning. 中学生既然具备了一定的知识和更加成熟，就应该更加激烈地为高分竞争。同时，有些学校可以在这个时候开设启发性学习项目，培养那些无法通过考试衡量的学生能力，如创造力、领导力等。总之，在此阶段，题目所说的情况还不是主流。

这道题讲的是未分数竞争对学习质量的影响 而你在“同时”之后讲的内容已经完全偏题了 ！！！


ts (pt3): Finally, if a college student still holds obstinate adherence to the pursuit of greater examination mark, the description in the statement is the case.   大学生已经储备了足够多的知识，在此基础上，如果他们还一味为了考试分数而学，那就难免落伍。因为大学阶段，特别是研究生院里的学习，主要是创造性学习，是要整合过去的旧知识而创造出自己的新理论来。这种学习的成果是无法通过考试来衡量的，唯有投入实践，才能检验其对错。所以题目中的观点最适合运用在高校中，而非在所有教育阶段。

你的论述并没有正面回应题目
Competition for high grades seriously limits the quality of learning
为成绩竞争究竟如何限制了学习质量

zsczslUID: 2888426

王老师好，我按您的意见修改了自己的提纲，请继续点评，谢谢！

TS (pt1, pt2, pt3): It is not rare in some schools and universities that students compete against each other in order to score higher. Some assert this behavior confines rather than releases the learner’s full potential, and hence hinder her progress of study in every educational stage. However, such point of view tends to oversimplify the intricate world we are living in, where the effects of grade-centered learning at least differ at the primary school, the middle school and the tertiary education institution respectively.

我觉得你的句子表达还是有些问题 同意转换的时候要严格根据题目的原意来 grade-centered learning这种说法和competition for higher grade相差很大  
还有 你的很多表达不准确 比如score higher in what?  你应该也读过不少英语 你写英语的时候不能凭自己的意愿写 要回想一下以前见过的英语 别人有没有这样写过 如果不确定就不要写 尽量用见过的用法 至少要认识到自己写出来的句子和表达是有问题的 然后再想办法调整



ts (pt1): To begin with, in primary schools, the teacher introduces the most basic knowledge and most efficiently assesses to what extent her students acquire it via examinations. Therefore, at this level students need to be encouraged to compete for a higher score, which is the indicator of a better study outcome. 其一，小学生所学的知识是最基础的，他们只需死记硬背那些现存的公式、理论即可提高the quality of learning，所以考试能有效测评他们的学习成果。第二，小学生缺乏自制力，在考试竞争的压力下，他们能更加努力地学习，因此为更高分数学习，会促进而非阻碍他们的学习。从这个方面来讲，题目中的观点在小学阶段的情况下不适用。


Competition for high grades seriously limits the quality of learning at all levels of education.

我再强调一遍 命题是Competition for high grades seriously limits the quality of learning  
那么你这里要反对它 就是说你要指出 Competition for high grades helps improve quality of learning

其一，小学生所学的知识是最基础的，他们只需死记硬背那些现存的公式、理论即可提高the quality of learning，所以考试能有效测评他们的学习成果。

你这里的讨论没有涉及竞争 所以不能支持你这段的分论点

第二，小学生缺乏自制力，在考试竞争的压力下，他们能更加努力地学习，因此为更高分数学习，会促进而非阻碍他们的学习。从这个方面来讲，题目中的观点在小学阶段的情况下不适用。

这里需要解释为什么竞争能使小学生努力学习 竞争的压力体现在哪里  你这里用 其一、第二也就是说两点是并列关系 而你的第一点并没有提到竞争

我来写段给你看看

To begin with, competition for higher grades can actually improve the quality of learning among primary school students. 首先 提出分论点 As we all know, the materials in primary schools are relatively easy but requires the students to spend a lot of time memorising facts and practicing techniques. 介绍背景和前提 On the other hand, students in primary schools usually lack self discipline to complete the tasks of memorisation and practices. 继续介绍背景 注意回应前一句的记忆和练习  Through competition for higher grades, students will have the stronger motivation to study in order to do well in the exams. 提出竞争的一个后果-更强的动力 They will make more efforts to remember the materials and work on exercises to develop relevant skills in order to outperform their peers. 解释这个动力的具体效果 When they do well in the exams, they will feel more confident and proud to study even harder. 讲考得好的情况 If they do not perform as well as they like, they will do everything they can to catch up. 讲考得不好的情况 In a word, competition offers strong incentives for them to concentrate on their study and the quality of learning will improve as a result.  最后总结点题  






ts (pt2): Furthermore, the students in middle schools are more intellectual and mature, so they can and should face more competitive assessment in order to lay a solid foundation for their higher education or future career. 中学生已经具备了一定的知识和更加成熟，比小学生身体更强健，神经也不似孩提时代般脆弱，而他们在该阶段对所学知识的掌握程度（the quality of learning）还是能够通过考试有效测评，因此他们应该更加激烈地为高分竞争，顺应日后教育或是事业的要求。在此阶段，题目所说的情况还未发生。

这一段可以讲一下申请大学的竞争很激烈 需要早作适应等等
另外中学生进入青春期 各种诱惑 通过竞争可以让他们集中注意力


ts (pt3): Finally, if a college student still holds obstinate adherence to the pursuit of greater examination mark, the description in the statement is the case.   大学生已经储备了足够多的知识，应该为推进人类的知识前沿做贡献了。而这种创新的能力是传统的、以考查对已有知识掌握程度为主的考试所无法衡量的。如果大学生还一味为了考试分数而学，那就难免忽视创新能力的培养，真正危害这个阶段的the quality of learning。所以题目中的观点最适合运用在高校中，而非在所有教育阶段。

zsczslUID: 2888426

再次按老师指点修改，还请老师指教，谢谢！

45. Competition for high grades seriously limits the quality of learning at all levels of education.


Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

TS (pt1, pt2, pt3): It is not rare in some schools and universities that students compete against each other in order to score higher. Some assert this behavior confines rather than releases the learner’s full potential, and hence hinder her progress of study in every educational stage. However, such point of view tends to oversimplify the intricate world we are living in, where the effects of grade-centered learning at least differ at the primary school, the middle school and the tertiary education institution respectively.
ts (pt1): To begin with, in primary schools, the teacher introduces the most basic knowledge and most efficiently assesses to what extent her students acquire it via examinations. Therefore, at this level students need to be encouraged to compete for a higher score, which is the indicator of a better study outcome. 其一，小学生所学的知识是最基础的，他们只需死记硬背那些现存的公式、理论即可提高the quality of learning，所以考试能有效测评他们的学习成果。鼓励他们为了取得高分而相互竞争，则能促使他们花更多时间和经历去掌握那些现成的知识，以便取得比其他同学更好的分数。第二，小学生缺乏自制力，在考试竞争的压力下，即考得不如班上许多同学时，他们就要受到老师和父母的批评，他们只得更加努力地学习而减少玩耍的时间。如果一个小学生考分比班上很多同学高，那么她就会受到老师、父母的表扬，有成就感和继续努力学习的积极性；如果她的成绩低于大多数同学，那么她就会被老师、父母批评，有羞耻感，迫使她更加努力地迎头赶上。因此，无论怎样，为高分而竞争都促进了学习。从这个方面来讲，题目中的观点在小学阶段的情况下不适用。
ts (pt2): Furthermore, the students in middle schools are more intellectual and mature, so they can and should face more competitive assessment in order to lay a solid foundation for their higher education or future career. 中学生已经具备了一定的知识和更加成熟，比小学生身体更强健，神经也不似孩提时代般脆弱，而他们在该阶段对所学知识的掌握程度（the quality of learning）还是能够通过考试有效测评，因此他们应该更加激烈地为高分竞争，顺应日后教育或是事业的要求。一来负责大学本科录取的招生官员，比较看重学生在标准化考试中的成绩，所以为了高分而竞争，可以使一些学生取得很优秀的标准化考试成绩，脱颖而出，被自己心仪的大学录取，这是一种高学习质量的体现。二则中学生比小学生各方面能力更强，活动范围更大，在青春期面临诱惑更多，考试的竞争能让他们在学习上投入更多精力，达到更好的学习效果。例如，小学生由于能力所限，不能组织许多社团活动，而中学生已经可以自己建立起如摇滚乐团等像模像样的自己的兴趣团体，这会占去他们许多时间和精力。没了为了更高考分而学的压力，他们势必投入更多时间到课外活动上。只有为高分而竞争的压力存在时，他们才不至于在纵情爱好时荒废学业。所以，在此阶段，题目所说的情况还未发生。
ts (pt3): Finally, if a college student still holds obstinate adherence to the pursuit of greater examination mark, the description in the statement is the case.   大学生已经储备了足够多的知识，而且对自己的人生目标、未来事业有了清晰的认识，有很强的自控能力，既应该为推进人类的知识前沿做贡献，又能为了自己将来的生活、事业自觉抵制各方面的诱惑，因此为了考得更高分数而竞争，就显得不必要了。第一，推陈出新的创新的能力是传统的、以考查对已有知识掌握程度为主的考试所无法衡量的，所以在该阶段考试的效力已大打折扣，在强调为高考分而竞争显得不合时宜。如果大学生还一味为了考试分数而学，那就难免忽视创新能力的培养，真正危害这个阶段的the quality of learning。第二，大学生既有了人生长远的奋斗目标，毕业后又即将面临就业的压力，这些比为了考得高分而竞争更能促使他们好好学习，而且许多在职场上必要的能力，如团队合作技巧、处理人际关系的能力，也是考试无法衡量的，学生投入过多精力准备考试，便会减少培养这些能力的投入，影响这个阶段的学习效果。既然有了更好的提升学习质量的动力，而且为了考得高分而竞争会阻碍未来事业所需实用能力的培养，那么就不该再鼓励学生为了考试分数而竞争。综上所述，题目中的观点最适合运用在高校中，而非在所有教育阶段。

总结主要问题：
我的构想是，分小学、中学、大学三个阶段，从各阶段的学习任务和考试结果对检验该阶段学习任务的有效性来论述题目观点是否有效。
但是我没有把分论点拉回到论述Competition for high grades和the quality of learning之间的关系上来。