Issue116 机井题 限时成功

dezhiUID: 156141

Issue116
"With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society—including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences—will benefit greatly from international influences."


The speaker asserts that with the development of global networks in economics and communication, every aspect of society will benefit greatly from international influences. However, as far as I am concerned, both positive and negative impacts exist. In order to substantiate this statement, a case-by-case analysis is needed.

On the one hand, education and the sciences surely benefit from international influences as a result of the share of global information. As to education, traditional teachers at school will feel obliged to learn new teaching methods so as to better cultivate students, and global networks in communication would contribute to it. By means of global network, a teacher could communicate with other teachers through internet, and learn more teaching skills from someone perhaps on the other side of the earth. In addition, due to the development of remote education, more students are able to learn at home through network, which is more convenient and comfortable, but more efficient and productive. Considering the sciences, one of the most significant problems scientists nowadays face is to gain access to large quantities of up-to-date scientific information and to absorb the essence of it as soon as possible. Without the contributions of global networks in communication, such a simple goal would never be achieved. In the modern time, a scientist could input what he or she wants one the searching engine of internet, and all the information needed would be displayed on the screen. To conclude, it is obvious that education and the sciences benefit much from international influences.

On the other hand, politics and the arts may not benefit more from such a global trend. In politics, political leaders are responsible for the whole world, not for their own countries only. When making a strategy, political leaders should take into account the situations of other countries, and taking measures without care would bring harm to other areas as well. The Asian Finance Hurricane is a good case in point. This economical trend not only damaged the politics of the original country, but influenced the stock market of many other countries in Asia. In the fields of arts, the situation is worse. Due to globalization, there are almost no differences between the works of artists from different countries. There is a trend for the different cultures to merge into one, during which the creativity and inspirations of some artists begin to diminish. In short, the globalization may bring harm to fields, including politics and the arts, which should not be overlooked.

As a consequence, what ought to be done is to distinguish the positive and negative impacts global networks bring to us, and to turn the negative influences into positive ones. In fact, global networks in economics and communication are a two-edged sword in almost any aspect of society, though it appears positive or negative on the surface. In education and the science, the redundancy of information should be paid attention to; in politics, political leaders are required to take care when making decisions; in the arts, artists should not depend more on the influences of globalization, developing works of their own.

To sum up, the global networks in economics and communication may bring both benefits and harms to almost every aspect of society, which ought to be distinguished carefully, and on the basis of it, more means and measures are required to be taken to turn the negative impacts into positive ones.

终于限时成功了一次，但是感觉写得很浅，语言也差得远，总是在翻来覆去得说那几个词。
马上要考了，有些紧张，而且复习的也很不充分。
不过也提高不了多少了，但愿考试时别没话说，能在规定时间内写完吧

runnerioUID: 152251

Issue116
"With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society—including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences—will benefit greatly from international influences."


The speaker asserts that with the development of global networks in economics and communication, every aspect of society will benefit greatly from international influences. However, as far as I am concerned, both positive and negative impacts exist. In order to substantiate this statement, a case-by-case analysis is needed.

开头简洁，但句子显得太简单。总之是个四平八稳的开头，没有问题，但也没有新意。

On the one hand, education and the sciences surely benefit from international influences as a result of the share of global information. As to education, traditional teachers （传统的老师？？？）at school will feel obliged to learn new teaching methods so as to better cultivate students, and global networks in communication would contribute to it. By means of global network, a teacher could communicate with other teachers through internet, and learn more teaching skills from someone perhaps on the other side of the earth. In addition, due to the development of remote education, more students are able to learn at home through network, which is more convenient and comfortable, but （怎么用but呢？有转折意味吗？）more efficient and productive. Considering the sciences, one of the most significant problems scientists nowadays face is to gain access to large quantities of up-to-date scientific information and to absorb the essence of it as soon as possible. Without the contributions of global networks in communication, such a simple goal would never be achieved.（主观臆断，建议最好不要用绝对化词汇） In the modern time, a scientist could input what he or she wants one the searching engine of internet,（这句话有问题吧，读不通） and all the information needed would be displayed（用appear） on the screen. To conclude, it is obvious that education and the sciences benefit much from international influences.

论证比较切题，但感觉不是很充分。

On the other hand, politics and the arts may not benefit more（为什么是比较级） from such a global trend. In politics, political leaders are responsible for the whole world, not for their own countries only. When making a strategy, political leaders should take into account the situations of other countries, and taking measures without care （用otherwise如何？）would bring harm to other areas as well. The Asian Finance Hurricane is a good case in point. This economical trend not only damaged the politics of the original country, but influenced the stock market of many other countries in Asia.（只是在说政治家应该考虑外国情况，global network体现在哪里呢？政治受损体现在哪里呢？金融风暴的例子能证明政治在全球化情况下受损了吗？再琢磨琢磨） In the fields of arts, the situation is （even）worse. Due to globalization, there are almost no differences between the works of artists from different countries. (绝对化！！！)There is a trend for the different cultures to merge into one,（这个同化的表达孙远的提纲上有一个很好的词组，可是很久没碰，记不起来了，sigh~~~ :( ） during which the creativity and inspirations of some artists begin to diminish.（没有根据，初读感觉摸不着头脑，根据常识好象不是这样的） In short, the globalization may bring harm to （some）fields, including politics and the arts, which should not be overlooked.

此段论证不如上段的说，是不是写着写着逻辑混乱了，  :o

As a consequence, what ought to be done is to distinguish the positive and negative impacts global networks bring to us, and to turn the negative influences into positive ones. In fact, global networks in economics and communication are a two-edged sword in almost any aspect of society, though it appears positive or negative on the surface. In education and the science, the redundancy of information should be paid attention to; in politics, political leaders are required to take care when making decisions; in the arts, artists should not depend more on the influences of globalization, developing works of their own.

此段可算对文章的延伸，挺好的，只是显得很薄弱，尤其最后几句，倒象在凑字数，是不是没有时间了？

To sum up, the global networks in economics and communication may bring both benefits and harms to almost every aspect of society, which ought to be distinguished carefully, and on the basis of it, more means and measures are required to be taken to turn the negative impacts into positive ones.
结尾不错。
Generally speaking:思路清晰，论证犹待加强，建议将说理与例证合理的结合起来。
                     Well done.祝你取得好成绩！！ :p

dezhiUID: 156141

谢谢runnerio！！
你的批改都很有道理，//bow
我现在要出去锻炼身体了，等回来再仔细研究：）

绝对化严重，我的这个毛病怎么老该不过来，FT
body2确实论证的比较乱，我再好好想想
其它的毛病你说得都很对，接受 :p

springyUID: 122511

bless you! dezhi.和你一天考试，啼哭还没有看完，就不改你的了。坚持，好运！别感冒！

xqmelissaUID: 140370

Issue116
"With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society—including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences—will benefit greatly from international influences."


The speaker asserts that with the development of global networks in economics and communication, every aspect of society will benefit greatly from international influences. However, as far as I am concerned, both positive and negative impacts 用impact应该没有错，但是我觉得表示“影响”，用”effect”可能更好一点 exist. In order to substantiate this statement, a case-by-case analysis is needed.

On the one hand, education and the sciences surely benefit from international influences as a result of the share of global information. As to education, traditional teachers ? at school will feel obliged to learn new teaching methods so as to better cultivate students to cultivate students better? 你这话读着很别扭, and global networks in communication would contribute to it. By means of global network, a teacher could communicate with other teachers through internet, and learn more teaching skills from someone perhaps on the other side of the earth. In addition, due to the development of remote education, more students are able to learn at home through network, which is more convenient and comfortable, but ? more efficient and productive. Considering the sciences, one of the most significant problems scientists nowadays face is to gain access to large quantities of up-to-date scientific information and to absorb the essence of it as soon as possible. Without the contributions of global networks in communication, such a simple goal would never be achieved. In the modern time, a scientist could input what he or she wants one the searching engine of internet, and all the information needed would be displayed on the screen. To conclude, it is obvious that education and the sciences benefit much from international influences.
语言基本就没改了,限时的成果语言都不会特别好,至少我是这样的,你自己再改改吧.
觉得科学的那段论证有点乱,不过总体差不多.

On the other hand, politics and the arts may not benefit more from such a global trend. In politics, political leaders are responsible for the whole world, not for their own countries only. When making a strategy, political leaders should take into account the situations of other countries, and taking measures without care would bring harm to other areas as well. The Asian Finance Hurricane is a good case in point. This economical trend not only damaged the politics of the original country, but influenced the stock market of many other countries in Asia. In the fields of arts, the situation is worse. Due to globalization, there are almost no differences between the works of artists from different countries. There is a trend for the different cultures to merge into one, during which the creativity and inspirations of some artists begin to diminish. In short, the globalization may bring harm to fields, including politics and the arts, which should not be overlooked.
说政治,艺术领域受到冲击,但是你的例子似乎离这个冲击,怎么冲击的,后果是什么有点远,你再想想？

As a consequence, what ought to be done is to distinguish the positive and negative impacts global networks bring to us, and to turn the negative influences into positive ones. In fact, global networks in economics and communication are a two-edged sword in almost any aspect of society, though it appears positive or negative on the surface. In education and the science, the redundancy of information should be paid attention to; in politics, political leaders are required to take care when making decisions; in the arts, artists should not depend more on the influences of globalization, developing works of their own.
这么一综合,让我觉得有点晕,你到底是想表明你的什么观点呢?似乎有推翻前面的嫌疑.
个人不推崇这种两边倒的写法,也是最近偶GG提出来,帮我改的一个主要问题.

To sum up, the global networks in economics and communication may bring both benefits and harms to almost every aspect of society, which ought to be distinguished carefully, and on the basis of it, more means and measures are required to be taken to turn the negative impacts into positive ones.


用PP3模的?我昨天也限时成功了,很高兴，不过真的写的水平很差了,郁闷啊,一会有空帮我看看我新放来的Issue8吧.
8号考试,复习的差不多了吧?

对于I,通过看范文,我感觉,只要你的论点和题目能联系上,不要跑题太多,4分问题不大,你语言还可以,不过,我还是不推崇你这种写法,我一般是明确一个观点,最后用admittedly补充一下漏洞.你觉得呢?

加油!

dezhiUID: 156141

to springy:
谢谢你！bless you too!
你也要注意身体，共同努力呀：）

dezhiUID: 156141

谢谢快乐天使！
你说的有道理，这种两边倒的写法我也是第一次写，感觉确实驾驭不了，也写不了那么深。
这个题目对我来说还是有些难度，我再好好想想。
至于那个例子，确实论证的太差了，因为我对金融危机的一些细节也不太清楚。Faint~~~
复习得很一般，这两天在狂看阿狗题目，快要吐血了，Issue准备得不好也只能暂时放一边了。
尽力吧

ps：听说你感冒了，注意身体呀，抓紧好起来！

jianguoUID: 157933

恭喜你呀，DEZHI兄，你没问题的。呵呵