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发表于 2015-2-28 22:25:10
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本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-2-28 22:41 编辑
Quality of learning is generally evaluated from the skills and knowledge grasped, the ability to apply the knowledge in actual cases and the independent thinking to generate innovative ideas. Some people, as the statement says, blame that the competition for high grades weakens the sense of cooperation and impedes the development of independent thinking, which further limits the quality of learning through all levels of education. However, I would argue that competition on grades may play a more positive role in elementary schools where one mainly accumulate basic knowledge, while it can be an obstacle for higher levels of education.
evaluated based on 一开始先提出自己对关键概念的理解是一个不错的动作 赞!
actual cases? practical problems?
accumulate(s)
At the very first step of education, competition for high grades can help to consolidate the foundation for further learning by motivating students to treat courses more seriously and make up for the weak points. In this phase, one needs to accumulate basic knowledge and skills, such as counting, spelling and arithmetic. Grasping these kinds of knowledge simply requires repetitive practice and correction, which can be naturally executed through the preparation of tests for higher grades. The students, who treat grades more seriously and want to achieve better in the next time, usually study harder and pay more attention to the mistakes they made in tests, which is the corner stone for laying the solid foundation of knowledge. Meanwhile, none of the skills taught in this period is dispensable in the future. One can hardly succeed if he is good at arithmetic but poor in spelling. The sense of competition will motivate the students to focus more on their weak points, any of which should not be ignored in this phase of study.
总的来讲这段写得不错
In the next phase of study, for example in high schools, the pressure brought by the grade competition will somehow impede independent thinking and further limit the quality of learning. To foster independent thoughts, students should be inspired to cast doubt on questions and be exposed to different opinions rather than simply follow the guidance of test makers. Unfortunately, students are facing huge pressure brought by the competition in the college entrance examination, in which they can't afford the loss. Many students are trained to be followers to the reference answers in the tedious repetition of preparation. In most cases, they are not encouraged to cast doubt on questions or reference answers, otherwise, they are thought to be wasting their time or even taking risk in the examination.
grade competition 好像没这个说法
Unfortunately, students are facing huge pressure brought by the competition in the college entrance examination, in which they can't afford the loss. 我觉得这里似乎有点地域色彩 讲的是中国的情况 美国的SAT跟中国高考很不一样
或许你可以改写成某种假设的情况 If the students are under the pressure of competition for higher grades, they will ...
最后还是要点题 指出这种情况下很那培养出独立思考的人
In the next level of education, aggressive competition for higher grades will somehow block the exchange of ideas and weaken the sense of cooperation. In the modern world, since the expertise and theories are getting much more complicated than ever before, very few people can achieve great things all by themselves. Over 80% percent of Nobel prize winners in the latest 25 years worked in cooperation to make these great discoveries happen, which shows the great power of cooperation and the exchange of ideas. On the contrary, students obsessed in competition for higher grades will be reluctant to tell his ideas to other students, worrying that peers will steal their ideas and get higher grades while losing the opportunity to get inspired by others' ideas. The quality of learning of these students will thus be limited by the scope of everyone's own understanding.
这里或许可以强调一下在大学的环境中
这样你提诺贝尔奖或许还沾得上边
前面两段分别讲小学和中学 这段讲大学也比较合理
In short, the competition for higher grades helps a lot to improve the quality of learning in the starting phase of education, where repetition and correction is crucial. But in higher levels of education, such competition is unfortunately limiting the learning quality by impeding independent thinking and cooperation.
重写Cooperation的这段, 附整篇全文。
总的来说,修改后还是有很大的进步
你自己感受如何
还可以再继续改一次 然后就可以试写下一篇
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