锤先森G330__issue习作集合贴

锤先森G330UID: 3603995

Issue 119
119) When old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes, modern development should be given precedence over the preservation of historic buildings.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

这篇超了时，主要问题存在于干货的寻找和表达，老师之前这题让写过提纲，这篇文章也是按照老师提过意见以后的的提纲扩充而成。

2015/8/13 20:50-21:30
My response:

Nowadays, virtually all city planners have to face a problem that whether the old buildings should be protected if they stand on ground that could be better used for modern purposes. Some people hold the view that modern development should be given precedence over the preservation of historic buildings. Yet I would argue that whether the statement is practicable depends on different types of buildings. For those areas that are occupied by lots of historic buildings, people should try their best to preserve them. And for a single old building, people can transform it if it can be repaired and then serve modern purpose. Nevertheless finding another place to reconstruct it is also a good way.

To begin with, for an area with high density of historical buildings, people should try their best to preserve them rather than use the land they stand on for modern purposes. To illustrate, the quadrangle, the Forbidden Palace in Beijing epitomize the original people and noble classes’ life of old China. Therefore, these old buildings are precious treasure for people who want to know the Chinese culture. And these old buildings are an integrity, which suggests that their aesthetic value will be damaged if any of them will be destroyed. Consequently, even if the Forbidden Palace and many old quadrangles stand on the city center of Beijing, city planners shouldn’t use these lands for modern purposes.

Further, for a single old building, people should find a way to transform it first due to its historical values. Maybe after transformation, these old buildings could serve new functions and thus be used for modern purposes. For instance, Da Hua Theater, which was built in the time of Republic of China, stands on the city center of Nanjing. And it had not got repaired since the establishment of the People Republic of China. Until 2006, due to its unique architecture design, city planners and constructors tried their best to transform this old theater into a modern cinema. Therefore, this historical building serves new functions now. Hence, if it is possible, transforming is a good way for use ground for modern purpose without destructing of the old buildings.

Finally, finding another place to reconstruct a single old building is an alternative way if the disadvantage of protecting it outweigh the advantage. For instance, Xun Li Men railway station, which had one hundred-year history in Wu Han, was built at another place in 2009. And people built a shopping mall on its ground. Because this railway station didn’t have any function of a railway station anymore, building a shopping center will make greater contribution to the development of city, and rebuilding this railway station at another place would preserve its historical value. And thus it might be called as a win-win strategy to a great extent.

To sum up, I think whether the modern development should be given precedence over the old building protection depends on different types of buildings. For an area who has many old historical buildings with high concentration, people should try their best to preserve it. And for a single building, city planners should see whether it could be used for modern purposes after transformation. If not, rebuilding the old building at another place might be a good choice.

锤先森G330UID: 3603995

Issue 3
3) Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

这一篇经改写范例而来，借鉴了不少素材。
2015/8/14
My response:

As far as I am concerned, I agree with the statement that educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed. On the one hand, students can choose majors for which they are better prepared to perform well academically and then enjoy their college life. On the other hand, it is also helpful for government to lower the unemployment rates. And I also think that people don’t have to worry much about whether educational institutions have the ability to give a right instruction to students.

To begin with, from the students’ perspective, students can choose majors for which they will perform better in their academic work and thus enjoy the college life. To illustrate, a student who isn’t not good at study math and politics wants to study economy and wants to get a job as an economy analyzer. Nevertheless, he doesn’t know that economy involves a significant amount of advanced mathematics, politics and sociology, which he didn’t have learned in high school. Therefore, if the school can persuade him from doing a degree in economy, the student might switch to a different major like psychology, which he has more possibility to do well. And with better academic performance, the student can better enjoy his college life and thus get himself prepared for the future life.

Further, with the help of educational institution, the social problem of unemployment of college students might be alleviated effectively. For instance, in many developing countries such as India and China, college graduates might find it is difficult for them to get a satisfied job after graduation, as they lack enough guidance to know whether their major would help them to find a good job. Yet if senior-high school students get the advice from the information of different majors before deciding their college major, they might have chance to make a wiser choice and the unemployment rate of the society will also be decreased. In other words, it’s the guidance from educational institution that plays an essential role in lowering the unemployment rate of the society.  

Some people might argue that the schools can’t accurately predict whether a student would succeed in a particular field or not. As far as I am concerned, I concede that any attempts of persuasion might lead to waste of talents. Nevertheless, schools have the ability to give a relatively suitable suggestion to students, which is based on their academic records and their performance in a related academic subjects. For example, the performance in math of students interested in economy. In addition, compared with others, teachers might give a relatively reliable advice to students according to their work experience. Hence, the schools can make prediction about students’ future performance with better confidence.

To sum up, I agree with the statement that educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from studying fields in which they have less possibility to become successful. For one thing, this will help students become well prepared for their future life. For another thing, it might have a positive effect on alleviating the unemployment rate of society. And I believe that educational institutions have the ability to decide if a person in a certain field will be successful.

dgvwserUID: 3641709

顶一个

锤先森G330UID: 3603995

Argument 6
6) Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

2015/8/16 12:45-13:16
My response:

The author of the argument suggests that the decline in Arctic deer populations is the result of the deer’s being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. Nevertheless, we still need some extra evidence in order to evaluate the author’s conclusion critically, which involves the detail about the report from local hunter, the climate of the deer’s habitat and other factors that might cause the decline in deer populations.

To begin with, in order to draw his or her conclusion, the author of the argument cites the report from local hunters to show that the populations of the deer are decreasing during these years. Yet we still have to know more details of the report in order to justify its reliability. Perhaps it is the deer have changed their habitat in order to avoid hunting by humans that cause the hunters feel difficult in finding them. In addition, the author doesn’t tell us how many hunters engaged in this report. Maybe the number of the hunters was too small to reflect the truth. And if these things aforementioned is true, the population of deer might not decrease and thus the author’s conclusion is unwarranted.

Further, we need to know more information about the local climate change. The arguer of the argument suggests that the global warming trends have caused the sea ice to melt and thus made it difficult for deer to find food. However, maybe the climate of the deer’s habitat is different from the global trend. If the local climate is still cold enough or even become much colder, the ice couldn’t melt and thus wouldn’t limit deer to search for food. What’s more, even if the local temperature rise, the climate change may not play a role in decreasing the population of deer. It is possible that the warmer temperature sustain more plants, which makes deer don’t have to travel across islands to get their food. Therefore, the author’s conclusion might be weaken if the climate change doesn’t make contribution to the decline of deer populations.

Finally, we also need have evidence about other factors that might cause the decline in deer populations. Maybe it is the air pollution that has the negative effect on deer populations. Overhunting may be another significant factor. Yet the author doesn’t give us any information about the factors that might decrease the deer populations other than deer’s being unable to follow their age-old migration pattern. And the author’s conclusion might be unconvincing if other factors do play an essential role in effecting deer population.

张寄托UID: 3647480

第一次看到这种形式，感觉很受用，可以看看自己平时不会注意到的错误

锤先森G330UID: 3603995

Issue 108
108) Critical judgment of work in any given field has little value unless it comes from someone who is an expert in that field.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


2015/8/24 8:00-8:29
My response:

The works in any given fields usually have to be judged by others. And some people hold the view that a critical judgement of work in any given field has to come from an expert in that field if it has value. Nevertheless, I would argue that whether this statement is true depends on different types of works. If a work that requires people to have a certain amount of knowledge to judge it, only an expert in that field could give some critical judgement. While for a work that involves more than one field, people from related fields could judge the work critically. And even general public sometimes can make contribution to judging a work.

To begin with, if a work requires people to handle some necessary knowledge to judge it, then only the expert in that field could give some critical judgement. To illustrate, ordinary people don’t have much knowledge about the higher mathematics. Therefore, they are less likely to understand the work of number theory analysis that done by lots of mathematicians, not to mention judge it critically. Hence, for this kind of work, only experts in this field could understand them and then judge them critically.

Further, for a work that involves more than one subject, people in related fields could also make contribution to judging it critically. For example, the economists in the financial department of a certain country usually have to come out a series of measures to effectively administrate the economy development of a certain country. Nevertheless, the implement of these measures usually accompany with the change of economy policies. Therefore, the expert in politics could also give judgement critically in order to ensure the measures aforementioned to be implemented successfully. Consequently, for those interdisciplinary works, experts in related judgement could give critical judgement, too.

Finally, sometimes generally public could play a significant role in giving critical judgement of a certain work. If a work is a product that will be used by numerous consumers, then the judgement of consumers is essential for product makers and designers for improve their products. For instance, with the widespread use of smart phone, the number of mobile phone apps increasing rapidly. And the designers of the app have to improve their products by knowing the judgement from users in order to not fail in the fierce competition. Therefore, for these works, not only the experts in that field but also general public could give critical judgement to them.

To sum up, I think whether the statement is true depends on different types of work. If a work that needs a certain amount of knowledge to judge it, then only an expert in that field could judge them critically. Yet for a work that involves different subjects, experts in related fields could make critical judgement, too. Last but not least, even general public could make critical judgement of a work.

tesolchinaUID: 2191404

锤先森G330 发表于 2015-8-24 08:43
Issue 108
108) Critical judgment of work in any given field has little value unless it comes from s ...

简单看了一下 这个思路是跟我的提纲  基本意思都表达出来了
语言表达也还不错 有些小问题 你可以尝试自己修改一下 比如
they are less likely to understand the work of number theory analysis that done by lots of mathematicians
这里的done

financial department 是想说Ministry of Finance 么

建议你多刷issue  感觉考场上真的什么题都有可能出  

锤先森G330UID: 3603995

Argument 132
132) The following appeared in a letter to the school board in the town of Centerville.

"All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years, several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have complained that they are too busy to teach their teenagers to drive, some other instruction is necessary to ensure that these teenagers are safe drivers. Although there are two driving schools in Centerville, parents on a tight budget cannot afford to pay for driving instruction. Therefore an effective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

2015/8/25 9:30-9:57
My response:

The author of the argument suggests that all the students should be required to take the driver’s education course at Centerville High School. And the author’s conclusion is based on a series of assumptions, which involve the severity of accidents, the number of parents who have complained that they don’t have time to teach their kids how to drive and other solutions of the driving program. And we need reexamine these assumptions in order to evaluate the argument critically.

To begin with, in order to backup his or her view point, the author of the passage cites an evidence that serval accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers in the past two years. And the author assumes that these accidents were serious. However, the author doesn’t give any information about details of the accidents. Maybe the accidents that mentioned by the author of the argument were too minor to cause people to get injured. And many the drivers have to encounter with this kind of minor accidents serval times per year. Consequently, if the statement aforementioned is true, it’s unnecessary for the school to require all the students to take the driver’s education.

Further, in order to show the necessity of requiring students taking courses, the author points out a number of parents complained that they don’t have time to teach their kids about how to drive. And this reason is based on the assumption that the number of parents who don’t have time is very large. Nevertheless, the author doesn’t give us the exact number of parents who don’t have parents and the total number of parents. Perhaps 100 parents in the school complain about the time while the total number of parents in the school is 20000. Obviously, most of the parents still have time to teach their kids about how to drive by themselves. Therefore, requiring all the students to take mandatory program might be unwarranted.

Finally, the author asserts that an effective and compulsory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem. And the author assumes that no way can solve the problem other than requiring students to take class. Yet the author doesn’t give us any information about other possible solutions, either. Maybe the school can contact with traffic police departments to strength the administration around the school, which may be also useful to solve the problem. Consequently, the arguer’s suggestion is unwarranted if other solutions could be found to solve this problem.

锤先森G330UID: 3603995

tesolchina 发表于 2015-8-24 09:50
简单看了一下 这个思路是跟我的提纲  基本意思都表达出来了
语言表达也还不错 有些小问题 你可以尝试自 ...

好的，会尝试去修改的。。那里是想说财政部。。一下忘了怎么表达，希望考场上RP能好点来道简单一点的题吧。。。

guanjingyuUID: 3585209

锤先森G330 发表于 2015-8-25 10:24
Argument 132
132) The following appeared in a letter to the school board in the town of Centerville ...

第一个论点感觉说服力不是太强，我第一反应是

— several accidents happened in past two years involve teenage drivers .
           / what is the percentage of accidents involving teenage drivers (each year) ? does this number increase or decrease during the past several years?

锤先森G330UID: 3603995

Issue 20
20) College students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

2015/8/28 16:09-16:41
My response:

In this day and age, different people hold different views about the standard of choosing fields for college students. Some people agree with the statement that college students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field. Unfortunately I might disagree with this idea. As far as I am concerned, relying on availability of jobs to choose study fields might reduce the students’ passion of study, and the availability of jobs might change over time. Although some people might say that this statement will lower the unemployment rate of the society, I would argue that it might not have such effect.

To begin with, choosing field by the availability of jobs in that field might have a negative influence on the students’ life, as the students might not like studying the field that has the largest number of available jobs. To illustrate, with the development of technology, computer science has been the field that need more talents in these years. However, it’s impractical to let a student who loves history and literature while doesn’t have any interest in computer to study computer science. And this student might find difficulty in studying this major, which will take a lot of time and make him or her feel frustrated and thus have a negative effect on his or her life. Therefore, I disagree with choosing fields by the availability of jobs from this perspective.

Further, the availability of jobs might change over time. Hence, students might have to change their major over time if their choices of major were based on the availability of jobs, which is unavailable. Take the computer science again as an instance. At the beginning of 1990s, the computer science was so flourish that it created many jobs. While serval years later, the development of computer science met some difficult and thus the field that had the greatest number of available jobs changed. Therefore, if a student chose computer science as their major at its flourish period, he or she might not find a job when this field experience depression.

Finally, some people might hold the view that students should establish their choice on the availability of jobs in that field as they can lower the unemployment rate of the society. Nevertheless, I disagree with this statement. From my perspective, the unemployment rate might not decline even if students use this way to choose their major. As I mentioned above, students who choose major in this way might not have much interests in it, which will cause them have difficulty in getting good grades. And a good grade is an essential indicator when employers have to decide whether this student should be hired. Thus, the number of students who can’t get jobs in a certain field might not decrease if most of the students can’t get a good grade.

To sum up, I would argue that I disagree with the way of choosing fields. Because this way might lower the students interests in studying, and the availability of jobs might change over time. In addition, it might be useless in lowering the unemployment rate of the society.

guxinhuiUID: 3459619

锤先森G330 发表于 2015-5-20 01:15

Issue 17=Issue 68
Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them fr ...

Hi I want to share one response and hope you can have a look and comment?
I think of different ways as you, but I am uncertain of opposite points in the body paragraph.
Thank you very much :)

Formal education in the argument, refers to the conventional education system which student receive education from primary school all the way to universities. This traditional ways of education has been criticized by critics to restrain our minds and spirits and refrain innovationary thinking. While in our contemperaries the musical and artistic achievements could not be comparable to especially the Middle Century Italian giants like Galileo and Michelangelo, we must accept the fact that modern sciences and technologies are developing in a speed unprescendented in human history. Therefore, we must employ different education methods for different subjects. In science and technologies, our formal education seems very productive but in music and arts, we need to use unconventional education methods to educate innovative and creative individuals.

Modern education system was thrived after the Industrial revolution and education systems have been built then to meet the needs of modern industrialization.  The primary subjects are sciences and technologies. For example, mathematics is the fundamental subject for engineering and those knowledge were taught to students step by step. First the basic algebra, then calculus and after that it diverges to many specialized subjects like geometric calculus, combinatorics, differential equations and so on. Without the knowledge of basic algebra and calculus, one could never be creative and innovative in any of those specializations in mathematics. This phenomenon applies for all subjects in science and technologies. Therefore, formal education systems are especially important in shaping modern scientists and engineers and we have to employ formal education in those subjects.

However, while our education system are designed to meet the needs of industrialization and create many scientists and engineers, many children gifted in music or arts were sacrificed. Formal education put(attach) too much importance for subjects on practical subjects like science and engineering. As Sir. Ken Robinson said in 2006 Tedx, "Our education system are killing creativities in our children". He had an example of Ja(Gillian Lynne) the famous British ballerina and dancer. She had been underperfomming at school and her mother thought she had a learning disorder so she took her to the doctor. The doctor discovered his talents in dancing and encouraged her mother to send her to dance school. She went on to have a wonderful career at Royal Ballet. But the problem within our formal education is that not everybody is as lucky as Gillian. Many children's gifts are overlooked and they are forced to learn the same curriculum which is not their fields. If those children kept on underperformming in school they would lose confidence and become mediocre.

So formal education does not tend to restrain students' thoughts and creativities, it just favored certain subjects like science and technologies over others. The problem with formal education is to attach too little importance to music and arts. Think of in a normal curriculum of middles school around the world, how many math classes there are and how many music classes there are. Picasso once said every child is born artist. But the formal education are oversimplifying the education process and kills the artistic or musical creativities. As human race has experienced two industrializations and now experiencing an information era, it's time to reconsider the process of formal education to make the formal education to be diverse and produce talents of all kinds.

In conclusion, formal education does not tend to restrain people's minds and spirits, it just attaches different importances to different subjects and the problems are practical subjects like science and technologies are given too much priorities over other subjects. We need to make formal education more diverse, more balanced to discover talents of every student and make them creative.

锤先森G330UID: 3603995

Argument 101
101)
There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that people seeking longer and healthier lives should consider moving to small communities.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted

2015年9月6日大陆GRE考试; 2015/10/7 20:10考场思路回忆

20:10-20:33
My response:

The author of the argument suggests that people should move to small communities in order to have longer and healthier life. And the author’s conclusion is based on a series of assumptions, which involve the relationship between the number of sick leave report and people’s health condition, the relationship between the number of physician per thousand people have and the people’s health condition, and whether factors other than life pace might influence people’s life. And we need to reexamine these assumptions in order to evaluate the argument critically.

To begin with, the author of the argument suggests that Leeville people have a relatively healthier life because fewer sick leave reports were taken by individual workers in Leeville. And the author assumes that lower number of sick leave report represent the better health condition of people. Yet, this assumption might be unwarranted. Perhaps many people live in Leeville have some chronical diseases, which might not occur at the workday and thus people might not have to ask for sick leave. Consequently, if this thing happens, fewer sick leave reports might not show the better health condition in Leeville, and thus the argument is unconvincing.

你这个切入点是对的 但是其他可能性仅仅只是讨论慢性病不是很足够 还有很多其他的可能性 比如说 公司管得不严  或者 小镇上很多人退休了不需要请病假


Further, the author also points out that the people in Leeville is much healthier because Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents. This is based on the assumption that the fewer physicians per thousand people have, the healthier the residents will be. However, other factors might cause this. For instance, it’s possible that people live in Masonton are more concern about their personal health, and they need to have more physicians to make regularly body examination for them every year, and in fact they might not have poor health condition. Consequently, the author’s conclusion might not be compelling if the situation aforementioned occurs.

这里也是探索其他可能性不够充分 比如大城市的医生多可能是由于政府对医疗有补贴 或者 收入较高 吸引较多的医生  也可以结合上段来讲 医生较多 看病方便 所以请病假也比较多


Finally, the arguer also assumes that the relaxed pace of life could be the only reason that cause better health condition of people in Leeville. However, other factors might also make contribution to influencing people’s health condition. Compared with big cities, perhaps small towns have fewer air pollution, or people live in there have different living habit. And these factors might play an important roles in influencing people’s health condition and longevity. Hence, if the people’s longevity and healthier conditions are caused by factors other than life pace, the author’s suggestion might be unnecessary.


the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher这个点没有写
还有最重要的一点是这个argument从个案得出一般的结论  这是方法论的问题


再加上你的语法问题 比如 more concern about 里应该是concerned

有这篇可以看出 你对argument里找切入点和提出其他可能性这两方面还需要更多的练习  

锤先森G330UID: 3603995

Issue 28

28) The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

2015年9月6日大陆GRE考试原题，2015/10/10考场思路回忆

2015/10/10 12:35-13:04
My response:

Nowadays, many people debate over what can be the surest indicator of a great nation. Some people hold the view that this indicator can be the general welfare of its people. Nevertheless, I think a “great” nation is a country that can has profound impact on the world or the development of human. And thus the surest indicator of a great nation is represented by the achievements of its rulers, artists or scientists. At the same time, I think that general welfare is an essential but not the surest indicator of a great nation.

To begin with, the achievements of a certain country’s artists can become the surest indicator of a country. To a great extent, art can represent the thinking of humanity, which suggests that those countries who have brilliant art achievements will have more impact on the world. To illustrate, China can be called a great nation in many people’s eyes. And one of the main reasons is that China has so many art achievements, which has a great impact on the world from time to time. For example, Zhuo Zheng Garden, which is one of the most famous garden that made by artists in Ming dynasty, becomes the paradigm that studied by numerous garden artists all the time. Consequently, a country that has great achievements of artists can be called a great country as it makes great contribution to the culture development and thus has a long-term effect on people.

Further, a country that has lots of achievement in science can be called a “great country”, too. Because this kind of countries will frequently come up with many new ideas, or inventions. And these things might greatly change people’s life all over the world. For instance, The United States can be called a great country. Even if it has been established for just serval hundred years, fruits that yield from technology development in the United States have totally changed the people’s life. Such as telephone, which was invented by Bell; or lamp, which was devised by Edison. So, when modern people enjoying the facilities that brought by these new technologies, they will automatically think that the country that puts much efforts to put forward technology development is great.

Finally, according my definition of “great”, also the general welfare of people is essential for a great country, it might not be called “surest”. Because some country might have abundant natural resource and thus people live in there can just live on natural resource trading to have a wealthy life. For example, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is a country that have plentiful patrol resource. And even though it doesn’t have many achievements in science or arts compared with China, Egypt or the U.S, nearly all people live in there have a wealthy life. From this perspective, I don’t think that general welfare is the surest indicator of a great nation.

To sum up, I agree with the statement that the surest indicator of a great nation is represented by the achievement of its artists, science or rulers. And I also want to argue that general welfare of a country’s residents is significant but not the surest indicator of a country that can be called “great”.

心就是宇宙UID: 3561105

锤先森G330 发表于 2015-10-10 13:15
Issue 28

28) The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not by the achievements of its ...

开头定义了great，值得学习。
感觉我跟你的出发点和对题目的理解很不一样啊...你这样写扣题更紧
每一段从ts,举例，到总结都很完整
唯一的一点是 “general welfare is an essential but not the surest indicator of a great nation.
”但在文章中只提到为什么不是，没有提到为什么is essential. 或者应该用might be essential。而且文中有些will 也应该改成may 或might。

其实只是希望大神改改我的作文 ：
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... age=1#pid1779978137