[分享]每日一评！6.6！三个典型的特色段落和娴熟的用词变换

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每日一评：三个典型的特色段落和娴熟的用词变换
Issue127
"Facts are stubborn things. They cannot be altered by our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions."

Can we alter facts according to our wishes or inclinations? If by "facts" the speaker means such phenomena as political, economic, social, or legal status quo, then I concede that we can alter facts. The reason for this is that such systems are abstract constructs of our inclinations, wishes, and passions to begin with. Otherwise, I strongly agree with the speaker that we cannot alter facts. When it comes to certain aspect of our personal lives, and to historical events and scientific truths, no measure of desire or even passion can change external reality. 对题目关键词的解构很清楚。前半部分关于such systems的概念作为一个concession阐述很出彩，而后面就专门对agree的部分进行细节展开：

On an individual level, we all engage in futile attempts to alter facts--by pretending that certain things are not the way they are because they are inconsistent with our wishes or personal interests. 实际上TS比上面的I strongly agree that we cannot alter facts 又更进了一步，提出了we all engage in futile attempts，但是这样做完全没有跑题： Psychologists refer to this psychological defensive mechanism, which seems to be part of human nature, as "denial." Consider curious pastimes such as mind-reading, psychic healing, rituals that purportedly impart immortality, and other such endeavors, which seems to transcend all cultures and periods of human history. Understandably, we would all like to have the ability to alter the physical world, including ourselves, as we see fit, or even to live forever by means of the sheer force of our will. Yet, not one iota of scientific evidence lends support to the claim that any human being has ever had any such ability.最后在回到futile的同时通过整个段落把we cannot alter facts也给说清楚了。这样的段落是比较有新意的。

Nor can we alter facts by virtue of our inclinations or passions when it comes to history.上面一段写的是personal lives，现在开始写history，可见在最初就已经设计好了。继续按照预设展开： Admittedly, no person can truly know any particular past that the person did not experience firsthand. In this sense history is a construct, created for us by reporters, archivists, and historians. Historical facts are therefore susceptible to interpretation, characterization, and of course errors in commission and omission. This is not to say, however, that historical facts can be altered by our inventing versions that suit our inclinations or wishes. In short, an historical event is not rendered any less factual by either our ignorance or characterization of it.又是比较明显的问题：Admittedly和however各自内容严重失衡，后面的部分仅仅是一个This is not to say和in short，再加上前面一大堆admittedly，这怎么可能够？这里怎么能in short？正面支持，反面驳斥，举例子统统没有，给反面的支持倒是不少，这个段落恐怕问题不小（虽然作为让步本身Admittedly的内容还是不错的）。

Similarly, when it comes to science our wishes and desires ultimately yield to the stubbornness of facts--by which I mean empirical scientific evidence and the laws and principles of the physical world. Admittedly, in many cases it is difficult to distinguish between scientific "fact" and mere "theory." 这里的界定相当好 History is replete with examples of what were considered at one time to be facts, but later disproved as incorrect theories.后面紧接着就是例证支持。 Yet it is telling that many such obsolete theories were based on the subjective inclinations, desires, and wishes of theorists and of the societies in which the theorists lived. For example, the notions of an Earth-centered universe and of linear time and space were both influenced by religious notions--that is, by human wishes and passions. As our factual knowledge increased such theories ultimately give way. 说明those based on subjective inclinations always become obsolete in the end，这一点作为theory和fact的铺垫阐述是很必要的，但是这不等同于这一点就可以替代对fact的正面阐述，试想：因为theory不断become obsolete，所以facts cannot be altered by our wishes？恐怕难以构成这样的关系，而这样一来，TS得到的支持就是问号了。也就是说，这一段写到这里还没有完，必须正面去定义到底fact是什么，和theory的区别到底在哪里，说明为什么fact是objective？各自的界定和彼此的contrast都做足，就会是一个精彩的段落了。如果停留在此，也可以产生the constant renewal of theory is a result of variation in facts by up-to-date inclinations over times这样的论点，而不一定支持fact cannot be altered.

In sum, I agree that facts are indeed "stubborn things." Understandably, all humans are guilty of ignoring, overlooking, and misunderstanding facts--at least to some extent. After all, human passion, desire, and individual bias and perspective are powerful influences when it comes to what we believe to be true and factual. Moreover, the statement carries deep epistemological implications regarding the nature of knowledge and truth, which I cannot begin to adequately address here. Nevertheless, on a less abstract level the speaker is correct that neither inclination, desire, nor passion, no matter how fervent, can alter that which is past or beyond our physical control. 这次的结尾改变了原先眉毛胡子一把抓的情况，基本上做到了总揽全文。

全文的三个body各自有着比较鲜明的特点，在上文已经做出了说明。第一个body是写得最好的，而下面的二和三多少都有一些问题。文章仍然是采用了细节展开的写法，而且是自己提出细节自己展开（而不是原先我们看到过的利用题干已有细节），其实对细节展开，只要自己论证/例子充足，把握足够，前后能够总领起来，这样写是很有利的。文章有两处的概念分析都很出彩，第一个是开头对于fact的分析，第二个则是fact vs theory，很值得我们借鉴。

其实这篇文章还有一个值得一提的特色就是用词。作为Native English Speaker而言他们比我们在语言上有优势，相比之下，这篇文章的用词变换是我们应该学习的榜样。原文的讨论中心莫过于subjective/objective，而与此相关的notion看看文中都提到了哪些：wish，inclination，passion，desire，bias，personal interests，factual，interpretation，ignorance，omission，overlooking，misunderstand……等等。在用词方面作者显得很轻松娴熟，而围绕同一中心的每一个词根据各自细微的含义差别，被安置在最合适的位置上，总效果就体现在对文章整体增色上了。在这方面，同义词，反义词，相关意群词汇，是需要我们稍微用心去注意和积累的。