Issue144 追星剑特训作业一跟帖（1）：大家帮忙批批

九月爱上乒乓球UID: 151821

ISSUE144 "It is the artist, not the critic, *who gives society something of lasting value." * a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

提纲: disagree    1.艺术家的作品给社会带来永恒的价值
               2.评论家将艺术家的作品带入人们的视野,也将人们的反馈带给艺术家,促进艺术价值的形成.
               3. 一些人认为,批评经常歪曲了艺术的真正含义,但是就像艺术作品良莠不齐一样,只有客观,诚恳的批判和优秀的艺术作品才能给人们带来永恒的价值.

The speaker claims that it is artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value. However, in my view, both the artist and the critic can equip society with such things and without either one the world would lose a great deal of valuable things.

It is doubtless that great works of artist are of lasting value to society when it refers to aesthetic enjoyment and solicitation of retrospection. For one thing, those works convey the thoughts and spirit of artists, people who are preeminent for their excellent understanding of life and affluent inspiration for creation. For centuries, people from all walks of life are moved by the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet, captured by Mona Lisa Smile, inspired by the independence of Jane Eyre and shocked by the courage of St. Joan. All these creations of artist are treasures for society with its impressive images and valuable spirit. For another, artist's observation for society and the background in the story reflecting contemporary society always cover profound meanings that contribute a lot to the understanding of the world in a certain period. ‘Gone With the Wind’ is just a case in point: the author described a magnificent picture of American Civil War and it has now become a necessary way to help people understand the history of America. People will understand more about history and thus tend to have another vision of oneself. Simply put, artists bring society something of lasting value with their great works.

Meanwhile, we should not neglect the transmitting role of critics in creating things of lasting value for society especially when it concerns with the establishment of an artistic style and the prevalent reception of the great works. First, it is critic that brings public's attention to the great works and help people to understand the works well. As we know, not every person is capable of telling the excellent from too many productions, not to mention understanding them completely and perfectly. Critics, maybe of less talent than artist, but may have an accurate and original perspective for art. Thus, with their help we could find the real thing lies in the artists' great works. Second, critics could tell artists the feedback of the appreciators and this is one of the most important factors in shaping the great works that have great value to society. Although popularity is not the standard in judging the value of certain work, knowing common people's likes and dislikes will in some way help the artist find the deficiency in their works and thus to produce more excellent works. In this sense, things of great worth wouldn’t sparkle without critics.

While some people claim that critics who misunderstand artists' works will cause people to diverge from the right direction to understand the works. In my opinion, just like not every writer can be called artist, only responsible and objective critics can generate real appreciation of the great works. Those misinterpretations will finally die out with more appearance of appropriate criticisms.

To sum up, it is artists and critics who work together to create great works of human history and thus to produce something of lasting value.  

这篇文章是我以前写的，今天早上我根据imong的讲解做了一些修改，但是感觉body第一段是在泛泛而谈，还是觉得无话可说…… :(第二段写的也还是有问题，希望大家给我具体的提示。

chapter1.1的下一个作业晚点交。

imongUID: 140258

提纲: disagree 1.艺术家的作品给社会带来永恒的价值
2.评论家将艺术家的作品带入人们的视野,也将人们的反馈带给艺术家,促进艺术价值的形成.
3. 一些人认为,批评经常歪曲了艺术的真正含义,但是就像艺术作品良莠不齐一样,只有客观,诚恳的批判和优秀的艺术作品才能给人们带来永恒的价值.

看到这个提纲我就晕了一把。你的disagree一出我还以为你要写it is the critic，结果看到b1就昏了。

The speaker claims that it is artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value. However, in my view, both the artist and the critic can equip society with such things and without either one the world would lose a great deal of valuable things.

写balance的话这个thesis写的并不算清楚。还是vague.
In my view, artistic（？） production （这个something不妨给定义掉） is generated in a concerted effort by both artists and critics as well, and without either .....时间关系没太琢磨，句子可能有错。

It is doubtless that great works of artist are of lasting value to society when it refers to aesthetic enjoyment and solicitation of retrospection. For one thing, those works convey the thoughts and spirit of artists, people who are preeminent for their excellent understanding of life and affluent inspiration for creation. For centuries, people from all walks of life are moved by the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet, captured by Mona Lisa Smile, inspired by the independence of Jane Eyre and shocked by the courage of St. Joan. 连续例证，不错。All these creations of artist are treasures for society with its impressive images and valuable spirit. For another, artist's observation for（？） society and the background in the story reflecting contemporary society（从句似乎有点vague） always cover profound meanings that contribute a lot to the understanding of the world in a certain period. ‘Gone With the Wind’ is just a case in point: the author described a magnificent picture of American Civil War and it has now become a necessary way to help people understand the history of America. People will understand more about history and thus tend to have another vision of oneself. Simply put, artists bring society something of lasting value with their great works. 既然你从when it refers to进行了展开，到最后的时候这个something就更可以写清楚了。

Meanwhile, we should not neglect the transmitting role of critics in creating things of lasting value for society especially when it concerns with the establishment of an artistic style and the prevalent reception of the great works.

两点问题：第一，是不是meanwhile？还是换nevertheless，however it does not suggest that..？meanwhile体现的是一种什么关系？
第二，TS怎么写？是用we should not，还是it is that....？是“我们不应该忽略”还是“critic的价值是..”？哪个更切合现在的场合？

First, it is critic 单数可数裸奔了？that brings public's attention to the great works and help people to understand the works well. As we know, not every person is capable of telling the excellent from too many（too many有误） productions, not to mention understanding them completely and perfectly. Critics, maybe of less talent than artist, but may have an accurate and original perspective for art. Thus, with their help we could find the real thing lies in the artists' great works. 有没有具体的例子 Second, critics could tell artists the feedback of the appreciators and this is one of the most important factors in shaping the great works that have great value to society. Although popularity is not the standard in judging the value of certain work, knowing common people's likes and dislikes will in some way help the artist find the deficiency in their works and thus to produce more excellent works. In this sense, things of great worth wouldn’t sparkle without critics.  写到这里，这个是落在something of great value了吗？你的文章有没有体现“没有critics就出不来something of great value”，或者“从另一个角度refer的时候是critics在给出something of great value”？

要是对着“we should not”来说这段还算文题相符，但是从整体上我建议都得调整。

While some people claim that critics who misunderstand artists' works will cause people to diverge from the right direction to understand the works. In my opinion, just like not every writer can be called artist, only responsible and objective critics can generate real appreciation of the great works. Those misinterpretations will finally die out with more appearance of appropriate criticisms.
扯的更远了。

To sum up, it is artists and critics who work together to create great works of human history and thus to produce something of lasting value.

如果你打算从equal的角度写，那就紧扣两点：A缺了B要挂，B缺了A照样也挂。写的少的两个大段，写的多的4段都能出来，原先看到过的。

把something给界定清楚不妨再进一步做，总不能通篇都带着something跑来跑去的。

因为在学校机房，没有用变色工具，抱歉。

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

军训中，晚上细看，谢谢。

JankUID: 167355

(5.43 AM 写的文章?  这么早起床, 还是这么晚睡觉? 恐怖 呵呵)

The speaker claims that it is artist, not the critic, who gives society something of lasting value. However, in my view, both the artist and the critic can equip society with such things and without either one the world would lose a great deal of valuable things.
(第一段和最后一段都是几乎无改变的copy 题目, 有没有问题?  我总觉得第一段和最后1段很难写, 要不要弄个模板,就怕到时时间来不及.)
It is doubtless that great works of artist are of lasting value to society when it refers to aesthetic enjoyment and solicitation of retrospection. For one thing, those works convey the thoughts and spirit of artists, people who are preeminent for their excellent understanding of life and affluent inspiration for creation. For centuries, people from all walks of life are moved by the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet, captured by Mona Lisa Smile, inspired by the independence of Jane Eyre and shocked by the courage of St. Joan. All these creations of artist are treasures for society with its impressive images and valuable spirit. For another, artist's observation for society and the background in the story reflecting contemporary society always cover profound meanings that contribute a lot to the understanding of the world in a certain period. ‘Gone With the Wind’ is just a case in point: the author described a magnificent picture of American Civil War and it has now become a necessary way to help people understand the history of America. People will understand more about history and thus tend to have another vision of oneself.(什么意思?)  Simply put, artists bring society something of lasting value with their great works.

Meanwhile, we should not neglect the transmitting role of critics in creating things of lasting value for society especially when it concerns with the establishment of an artistic style and the prevalent reception of the great works. First, it is critic that brings public's attention to the great works and help people to understand the works well. As we know, not every person is capable of telling the excellent from too many productions, not to mention understanding them completely and perfectly. Critics, maybe of less talent than artist, but may have an accurate and original perspective for art. Thus, with their help we could find the real thing (指什么?) lies in the artists' great works. Second, critics could tell artists the feedback of the appreciators and this is one of the most important factors in shaping the great works that have great value to society. (为什么这是cricitcs 的主要作用之一呢? 想想那些死后成名的艺术家, 而且上面 Romeo and Juliet, Mona Lisa smile, Jane Eyre, Gone with the wind, 那个作品是艺术大师和评论家讨论出来的呢?　我觉得这是先后问题, 艺术家是先,是创造, 评论家是后是理解,接受,传播.  如果循序颠倒, 那么评论家,自己就可以创造作品了, 为什么还要让你艺术家来弄? )  Although popularity is not the standard in judging the value of certain work, knowing common people's likes and dislikes will in some way help the artist  (如果艺术品不maverick 能称得上是艺术品么? 为什么一定要听人们的意见) find the deficiency in their works and thus to produce more excellent works. In this sense, things of great worth wouldn’t sparkle without critics.

While some people claim that critics who misunderstand artists' works will cause people to diverge from the right direction to understand the works.  
(这一段 我觉得这一段和issue的主题(give the society something of lasting thing)有点偏离,   是否能加上这么一句 :  so a lot of great artistic works are ignored from common people’s eyes and wear away lost its value which should last much longer. )
In my opinion, just like not every writer can be called artist, only responsible and objective critics can generate real appreciation of the great works. Those misinterpretations will finally die out with more appearance of appropriate criticisms.
To sum up, it is artists and critics who work together to create great works of human history and thus to produce something of lasting value.
( 语言上的问题,以我现在的能力是提不出毛病的了. 尤其的是作者的对于艺术家和艺术作品的那一段, 简直可以成为范文. 学习之~~~~ 呵呵J  )

kuaikuaiUID: 146502

其实写肯定更容易出彩的

poohUID: 146994

我认为与其两边都赞成，不如只写critics, 把你的body2展开写，每个分论写一段，body1虽然有不少例子，但是缺少实质性分析。body3可以作为支持critics的一个分论。以前没看过你的文章，语言不错的说！

KitKatUID: 164708

占位置~

still wonderingUID: 147840

九月的。。。？晚上看！