issue90 大制作，请拍砖了。

clement320UID: 168035

issue90 "College students should be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than seek programs that promise entry into the job market."

Should college students be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than seek programs that promise entry into the job market, as the assertion stated? I agree with the statement insofar as the college should afford sufficient subjects concerning the interests of the students. While Taking into account of current social requirements for qualified citizens to function in this increasingly advanced society and the practical need of individuals, however, certain knowledge that ensures decent jobs is also required.

To begin with, the interest serves as an indispensable factor in individual success and hence the society’s development. Endowed with or cultivating later the interests in certain area, the individuals would be absorbed in the engrossing issues, which along with perseverance and ongoing creative mind is the prerequisite to be successful. As one educationalist once said (and I paraphrase):” The interest is the best teacher leading you to ultimate success.” Reviewing the genius minds in each area reveals that without interest there would be no progress in the scientific world. Those gifted succeed in that they not only actually possess some talent but also, perhaps the most important, gain happiness from penetrating into the works that appeal to them most. In this sense, there is no doubt that the college education should devote so much attention to satisfying the students’ interest to expedite students’ proceeding in the long march toward final success and thus leading the society forward.

Furthermore, the speaker misinterprets the true obligation education should fulfill when entering into a new era leading to fierce competition. Perhaps owing to being locked in the ivory tower a little to long extolling the virtue of a liberal education as preparation for citizenship and life only, that education affords also preparation for career or careers has been neglected generally. Education for education’s sake is noble but impractical to today’s college student who is facing a competitive and rapidly changing job market. The students deserve to know how their courses will help them get a job. The educators owe them some answers; they must be accountable not only for learning but also for providing information regarding the transferability of classroom skills into the workplace.

On the one hand, if the students were promoted to exert all of their energy to their interest without any idea of the practical works, the world would slide into a grim dilemma and at last make no more progress instead. When all the individuals care about only the matters they prefer, no matter whether beneficial to the whole society or not, the society would probably disturb the acquired balance. Some inquiries would be overloaded with the labors; the others would be on the verge of extinct contrarily. In addition, ignoring the individual responsibility for the whole society’ sake could induce irresponsibility for their undue behavior, which lead to the final instability of the society. Thus, the responsibility for helping and requiring the students grasp some related knowledge with the potential job is inevitable.   

On the other hand, overemphasis on the objective to ensure the entry into the job market is unfavorable to individuals and society. First, the future is fraught with many indefinite possibilities. A certain individual may change his jobs from a salesman to an accountant, from an engineer to a businessman, from a typist to a teacher, being not inclined to related jobs with the knowledge he studied in the college. All the college education imparts to an individual is the methods to learn from books, others, and themselves’ experience. Having grasping these tools they can handle any possible problems they encountered in his life. Second, overly emphasizing on the job-related subjects which contradict their interest may spoil the initiative in studying, and thus impede the development of individuals and the society. Enforcing the drab subject on students would smother the spark some special students demonstrate in certain areas. Hence, too much caring about whether the students maintain the employment or not and thus commanding them to study the tiresome subjects is bound to fail.   

To sum up, for the sake of cultivating a distinguished generation, not only the subjects concerning the interest of individuals but also the subjects related with the jobs should be taught by our educator. Any preference would involve certain problems ahead.

clement320UID: 168035

come on.

clement320UID: 168035

up
up
up

四月的迷迭香UID: 154552

顶一下，下午看你的大制作：）

四月的迷迭香UID: 154552

issue90 "College students should be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than seek programs that promise entry into the job market."

Should college students be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than seek programs that promise entry into the job market, as the assertion stated? I agree with the statement insofar as the college should afford感觉这里用provide之类的更好一点？afford有“负担得起”的意思 sufficient subjects concerning the interests of the students. While（While->However,） Taking into account of current social requirements for qualified citizens to function(citizens function in... ?感觉有点function别扭，像机器一样，改成perform如何？)  in this increasingly advanced society and the practical need of individuals, however（这个however建议放在本句句首，前面while引导的从句太长了，到这才however一下，感觉比较头重脚轻） , certain knowledge that ensures decent jobs is also required.

To begin with, the interest serves as an indispensable factor in individual success and hence the society’s development. Endowed with or cultivating later cultivating later -> later cultivated bythe interests in certain area, the individuals would be absorbed in the engrossing issues, which along with这个along with 插入的成分太多且有些晦涩了，句子并不是越长越难懂才好哦 perseverance and ongoing creative mind is the prerequisite to be successful. As one educationalist once said (and I paraphrase):” The interest is the best teacher leading you to ultimate success.” Reviewing the genius minds in each area reveals that without interest there would be no progress in the scientific world. 这句话是不是也太绝对了呢，所有的科学成就都是因为有兴趣而得出的吗？有很多也是因为社会责任感或者必须完成啊，比如疫苗的研制Those gifted succeed in that they not only actually possess some talent but also, perhaps the most important, gain happiness from penetrating into the works that appeal to them most. In this sense, there is no doubt that the college education should devote so much attention to satisfying the students’ interest to expedite students’ proceeding in the long march toward final success and thus leading the society forward.
这段整体来说还可以，就是说理觉得可以再充分一些，比如可以说兴趣能够激发人的想象力和潜力，还有主动探索的意识等等。作者说到了gain happiness，但好象稍欠一点火候。

Furthermore这里应该是转折吧，因为上一段是同意作者的观点，但这一段是反对, the speaker misinterprets the true obligation education should fulfill when entering into a new era leading to fierce competition. Perhaps owing to being locked in the ivory tower a little to long extolling the virtue of a liberal education as preparation for citizenship and life only, that education affords also preparation for career or careers has been neglected generally. 这句太长了。。。完全没理出头绪Education for education’s sake is noble but impractical to today’s college student who is facing a competitive and rapidly changing job market. The students deserve to know how their courses will help them get a job. The educators owe them some answers; they must be accountable not only for learning but also for providing information regarding the transferability of classroom skills into the workplace.

On the one hand, if the students were promoted to exert all of their energy to their interest without any idea of the practical worksexerting all of their energy to their interests does not necessarily mean that they don't know how to work practically!, the world would slide into a grim dilemma and at last make no more progress instead去掉instead. When all the individuals care about only the matters they prefer, no matter whether it is beneficial to the whole society or not, the society would probably disturb the acquired balancethe society's acquired balance would probably be distrubed. Some inquiries would be overloaded with the labors; the others would be on the verge of extinct contrarily. In addition, ignoring the individual responsibility这里应该说明pay attention to their interests 和ignore their responsibility的关系，否则好象有点跑题 for the whole society’ sake could induce irresponsibility for their undue behavior, which lead to the final instability of the society. Thus, the responsibility for helping and requiring the students to grasp some related knowledge with the potential job is inevitable. 承担社会责任和学习与未来工作相关的知识之间有什么必然的联系吗？如果我大学里学的是生物，而将来却当了个美术家，那么我就一定缺少社会责任感吗？

On the other hand, overemphasis on the objective(objective太抽象太空泛，换个具体的词) to ensure the entry into the job market is unfavorable to individuals and society. First, the future is fraught with many indefinite possibilities. A certain individual may change his jobs from a salesman to an accountant, from an engineer to a businessman, from a typist to a teacher, being not inclined to related jobs with the knowledge he studied in the college. All the college education imparts to an individual isare the methods to learn from books, others, and themselves’ experience. Having grasping these tools they can handle any possible problems they encountered->may encounter in his->their life. Second, overly emphasizing on the job-related subjects which contradict their interest may spoil the initiative in studying->study这个表达还是不错的, and thus impede the development of individuals and the society. Enforcing the drab subject on students would smother the spark some special students demonstrate in certain areas. Hence, too much caring about whether the students maintain the employment or not and thus commanding them to study the tiresome subjects is bound to fail.

To sum up, for the sake of cultivating a distinguished generation, not only the subjects concerning the interest of individuals but also the subjects related with the jobs should be taught by our educator->educators. Any preference would involve certain problems ahead.最后一句不太妥，如果prefer both呢？

整体感觉作者在语言上下了很大的功夫，词汇、句式的变换都比较丰富。但是感觉有的句子有些过于藻饰了，反而使句意比较晦涩。文字的功能主要还在于把意思表达清楚。

另外在结构上，作者是想两方面都说，我觉得对这个题目来说是对的。第四，五段应该是由第三段引出的，以为你想从两个方面支持第三段的论述，即The students deserve to know how their courses will help them get a job.但第四五段却分别讲了过分强调或忽视职业技能教育的害处。所以是不是应该把第三段的主旨再修改一下，改成Overestimating or underestimating the importance of the career capacities may both induce some problems.另外建议先说Underestimate，即反驳题目的观点，然后略说一下overestimate也不好就行了，因为题目并没有说到这一点。说得太多有跑题之嫌。

不知我的建议你能否接受？ :)

clement320UID: 168035

先道声谢。

clement320UID: 168035

issue90 "College students should be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than seek programs that promise entry into the job market."

Should college students be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than seek programs that promise entry into the job market, as the assertion stated? I agree with the statement insofar as the college should afford sufficient subjects concerning the interests of the students. While taking into account of current social requirements for qualified citizens to function in this increasingly advanced society and the practical need of individuals, however, certain knowledge that ensures decent jobs is also required.

To begin with, the interest serves as an indispensable factor in individual success and hence the society’s development. Endowed with or later cultivated by the interests in certain area, the individuals would be absorbed in the engrossing issues. Along with perseverance and ongoing creative mind, the original interest is the prerequisite to be successful. As one educationalist once said (and I paraphrase):” The interest is the best teacher leading you to ultimate success.” Reviewing the genius minds in each area reveals that without interest there would be little progress in the scientific world. Those gifted succeed in that they not only actually possess some talent but also, perhaps the most important, gain satisfaction from penetrating into the works that appeal to them most. A great number of scientists have expounded that when studying what interests them most, their inspiration and energy come out unfailingly. In this sense, there is no doubt that the college education should devote so much attention to satisfying the students’ interest to expedite students’ proceeding in the long march toward final success and thus leading the society forward.

Nevertheless, underestimating the importance of career capacity could induce some problems at last. What we should exert all our strength upon is strike a balance between the individual interest and society’s requirement.

On the one hand, if the students were promoted to exert all of their energy to their interest without any idea of the practical works, the world would slide into a grim dilemma and at last make no more progress. When all the individuals care about only the matters they prefer, no matter whether it is beneficial to the whole society or not, the society’s acquired balance would presumably be disturbed. Some inquiries would be overloaded with the labors; the others would be on the verge of extinct contrarily. In addition, ignoring the individual responsibility for the whole society’ sake may induce certain irresponsibility for their undue behavior, which lead to the final instability of the society. The extreme illustration involves global terrorism overflowing. Only caring about their desire in authority and wealth leads those desperados to bog down into the inferno. Thus, the responsibility for helping and requiring the students to grasp some related knowledge with the potential job is inevitable.   

On the other hand, overemphasis on the obligation to ensure the entry into the job market is unfavorable to individuals and society. First, the future is fraught with many indefinite possibilities. A certain individual may change his jobs from a salesman to an accountant, from an engineer to a businessman, from a typist to a teacher, being not inclined to related jobs with the knowledge he studied in the college. All the college education imparts to an individual are the methods to learn from books, others, and themselves’ experience. Having grasping these tools they can handle any possible problems they may encountered in their lives. Second, overly emphasizing on the job-related subjects which contradict their interest may spoil the initiative in study, and thus impede the development of individuals and the society. Enforcing the drab subject on students would smother the spark some special students demonstrate in certain areas. Hence, too much caring about whether the students maintain the employment or not and thus commanding them to study the tiresome subjects is bound to fail.   

To sum up, for the sake of cultivating a distinguished generation, not only the subjects concerning the interest of individuals but also the subjects related with the jobs should be taught by our educators. After all, they should always maintain the true obligation education should fulfill when entering into a new era leading to fierce competition.

仔细的改了一遍，收获不小啊，四月的迷迭香相当深刻啊，还请多加指教。
一些用词的争议，我都是从一些范文中借鉴的，应该没什么异议的。
关于句子的过于繁复，反而影响了理解，我也发现了。我会注意的。
再次感谢，四月的迷迭香的文章什么时候上来啊，我可要拜读拜读喽。

四月的迷迭香UID: 154552

过奖啦，我已经考完了6G :)今天有点累了，明天再看你改完的吧！加油哦！:cool:

clement320UID: 168035

原来是老前辈，还请多加指教啦。

clement320UID: 168035

up

四月的迷迭香UID: 154552

昨天有事没上网，今天看了你修改的，采纳了不少在下的建议，很感动的说！不错呀表达上感觉清晰多了，也并没有影响语言的丰富程度！加油哦！再接再厉争取像俺老姐一样拿个满分！ ;)

clement320UID: 168035

牛人真多啊，我以后可要多多请教啦。