argument第四类 同主题写作 8月26-27日

GoldenStringUID: 3787185

Arg 5restrict moped rentals to reduce accidents

5) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

开头段：
According to the letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette, the author argues that the moped rental companies should reduce the rentals from 50 per day to 25 per day to decrease the number of accidents involving mopeds during the summer months on Balmer Island. Because reduction of moped accidents was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville where was enforced the similar policy ,  the author believes more that his recommendation is of great necessity to cut down the accidents.  To evaluate this recommendation,  we need more information about the real cause of the accidents ,  the source of the mopeds and the difference between the Balmer Island and the Seaville Island  . We ough to ask more questions and analyse what we learned.

中间段：
Inorder to evaluate the recommendation, the first question I want to ask is what's the real cause of these accidents on Balmer Island during summer months.  For example, If most accidents are caused by drunk driving and carelessness of a number of moped riders who tend to drink the cold beer because of the hot weather in summer months,  it will make no sense to enforce the limite on moped rentals. Instead of the recommendation,  what the town council of Balmer Island should do is to punish the drunk drivers seriously and regulate the drivers' behaviors strictly. Of course,  If the accidents are attributed to the large number of mopeds which is the main reason of traffic congestion,  there is no doubt of the validity of this recommendation.

语言表达问题修改：
WC：  Word choice/ diction
            The word is not  appropriate here; please try a different word
  这里主要涉及选词不恰当的问题

原句1：the improvement of efficiency contributed by technologyment advancement signifies <WC >that they will have more leisure time when they can earn no money to pay their loans.

修改：把signifies 改为means

体会：signify指用文字、说话或表情等表示单纯的意思； /mean最普通用词，指文字或符号等所表示的各种明确的或含蓄的意义。
像这种动词需要更加细分的话，就需要阅读积累了~
  

原句2，  The sample size is not large enough and there is a lot of occasionality <WC> .

修改：把occasionality改为occasionalities

体会：occasionality, N. 可数名词，偶然性。有时候心里真不敢相信它竟然是可数名词！一个苹果？一本书？一个偶然性？





介绍一下自己的备考情况哈（前几次因为写完作文大纲，中间段啥的急匆匆就结束了，忘了写自己备考情况(???ω???)了~）：英语四六级都过了，但是六级分数不高；本次gre是第一次考试，所以没有什么过往经验啥的~；目标分数是330，作文4分；主要困难是作文一直是WC选词不当的问题，不过这个需要积累吧?( 'ω' )? ，还有就是入题慢，因为我总是想要把题目给重述一下，然后在开始阐述自己的观点，可能开头总结要再精练一些，抓住重点吧~其实我是担心字数不够，所以重述的时候可能有点啰嗦）
这段时间学习体会：无论是issue还是Argument, 都要PIE模型。中间三段开头都要有一个中心句，结尾时还要回应一下文章主题，点一下关键词。/逗号，句号后面都要有空格/老师批改后的文章发现自己毛病挺多的，主要是WC和RP，RP的问题以后自己要明确自己要表述的意思，再精确简练用英语表达出来/作文要多刷题，然后就可以感觉出写作文的套路了，再多多积累一些例子干货，注意语言表达问题和句号及大小写等细节问题。

长长的冬瓜糖UID: 3817701

我选的75
Argument 75


The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.

"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure fair prices for consumers."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Firstly, the editor should answer the questions whether the number of dairy farms has increased largely actually. As the "25% greater" cannot actually reflect that the number of farms have largely increasing. For example, it is possible that 10 years ago, there were only 4 dairy farms throughout the country. And during these years, only one additional dairy farm appears. This is no indication that nowadays there are many dairy farms. Therefore, without pointing out the actual numbers of local dairy farms nowadays, the editor can hardly lead to the conclusion that the farmers are receiving excessive profits from larger production.

The second question that should be answered by the editor is that whether the average price of milk in the area have been increasing. Obviously, the editor believes that the price of milk at the Excello Food Market typifies that price nationwide. Yet this is not the case, for the following reasons. Perhaps the prices of milk in some areas remain unchanged. Also, it is likely that the price can even decrease in other areas just because people in these areas prefer to oatmeal instead of milk. Any of these scenarios, if true, would weaken the editors' claim that the price of milk in the nation has increased.

Finally, another question is whether the regulation will be sufficient to ensure fair prices for consumers. However, since the author has not provided a response to it, the goal might not be achieved even with this price regulation because other possible factors can still lead to the failure of the it. For example, with the retail prices lower than before, some milk farmers might add water into the milk in order to gain profit in compensate for the lower retail prices. In this way, the customers can hardly purchase qualified milk, not to mention get a fair price. Without ruling out this possibility, the editor can hardly convince me that this policy would be rational and effective.

In sum, in order to make the conclusion persuasive, the editor should answer whether the number of dairy farm has really increased, whether prices of milk all around the country have increased and whether the regulation of government will ensure fair prices of milk for customers.

王老师因为9月3号要考试了，想多看点您的范文就没进行改错练习了。
我写的第三个错误不知道写的对不对，请王老师指点指点~
PS：以这样方式写argument还有什么问题吗？

天地1沙鸥UID: 3654706

Argument 3/171
Arg 3skateboarding in Central Plaza

3) The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.


Claim: Decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza
Data: Number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically
Warrant: The decrease of the shopper result from no other reasons: such as the things sold, more other centers were established.

Claim: Increase of the litter and vandalism throughout the plaza comes from skateboarders
Data: There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza and the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically in Central Plaza.
Warrant: The amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza result from no other reasons: such as no sense of putting them in cans, lacking the rules.

Claim: Business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels if skateboarding is prohibited here
Data: We recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.
Warrant: The business is mainly influenced by mentioned factors: the number of skateboarder and amount of litter as well as vandalism

Intro:
The letter points out the increase in popularity of skateboarding and the decrease in number of shoppers in Central Plaza. Besides, it shows that the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza result from the popularity of skateboarding. Hence, the passage recommended that the skateboarding should be prohibited in order to resume the popularity and business activities in Central Plaza. However, a number of questions about why people do not shop as much in Central Plaza as before, the causes of litter and vandalism and the feasibility and consequences of prohibiting skateboarding need to be answered in order to evaluate.

The first question we need to investigate is what cause the decreasing shoppers in Central Plaza. The author pointed that the main reason is the increasing skateboarding as they happen at the same time. However more information should be provided to demonstrate the skateboarding would result the people in the Central Plaza less likely to shop again. Only by eliminating other factors such as the goods there are not attractive and the price is too high to afford, can we determine the recommendation in the passage is reasonable, therefore the prohibiting skateboarding would improve the sales in this condition.

Correct:
1.        WF
The first question we need to investigate is what cause the decreasing shoppers in Central Plaza.
The first question we need to investigate is what causes the decreasing shoppers in Central Plaza.
2.        SF
However more information should be provided to demonstrate the skateboarding would result the people in the Central Plaza less likely to shop again.
However, more information should be provided to demonstrate the skateboarding would decrease the possibility of people to shop there again.
3.        WC
Can we determine the recommendation in the passage is reasonable
Can we evaluate the recommendation in the passage is reasonable

wanghaitao199391UID: 3704441

Arg 132 mandatory driving course to address problems of accidents
132) The following appeared in a letter to the school board in the town of Centerville.

All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years, several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have complained that they are too busy to teach their teenagers to drive, some other instruction is necessary to ensure that these teenagers are safe drivers. Although there are two driving schools in Centerville, parents on a tight budget cannot afford to pay for driving instruction. Therefore an effective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
开头段：
In the letter, the writer recommends an initiation of a high-school-sponsored driver’s education course program and predicts that will help solve the teenage driving problem in Centerville. While this program might be efficient to some extent, the reasoning ofthis argument is not convincing due to several unsubstantiated assumptions which, if proven unwarranted, will seriously challenge the author’s recommendation.
中间段：
First of all, the writer’s recommendation relies heavily on the assumption that the driving problem involving teenage drivers can be owed to teenage drivers’ faults. Based on such an assumption, the writer therefore proposes that formal instruction should be taken to make these teenage drivers into safe drivers. However, this assumption is potentially questionable because we are not informed with comprehensive analysis about the responsibility of teenage drivers in these accidents, so we don’t know whether the teenagers are to blame for these accidents. If it turns out that the accidents should be contributed to factors other than the local teenage drivers’ incompetence, then the writer’s argument for a proposed driver education program is unconvincing.
按老师的评语改：
In addition, overlooking water fluctuation (RP/ MI) , the argument assumes that the river has not changed in so many years. We need to take the possibility of fluctuation (RP) of the Brim River into account. It is possible that the Brim River was not as deep and broad as it is today when people could easily deliver the pattern on woven baskets to Lithos from Palea. To go across a shallow river, the ancient people didn’t (WC/ use hedging appropriately) need boat. If more geographic evidence be evacuated, this assumption may be questioned.

In addition, overlooking the fact that the water in Brim River may has undergone fluctuations in past thousands of years , the argument questionably assumes the baskets are originated in Lithos. However, his/her argument is untenable at the face of geologic evidence. If the geologic evidence shows that the Brim River was not as deep and broad as it is today at the time of the civilization in Plea developed, the assertion does not receive any support then. If it shows the Brim River was a shallow creek, people there could deliver the pattern on woven baskets from Palea to Lithos without boats easily. If more geographic evidence are provided, this assumption may be questioned.

TaylorWUID: 3668665

132) The following appeared in a letter to the school board in the town of Centerville.

All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years, several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have complained that they are too busy to teach their teenagers to drive, some other instruction is necessary to ensure that these teenagers are safe drivers. Although there are two driving schools in Centerville, parents on a tight budget cannot afford to pay for driving instruction. Therefore an effective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

Claim : All students should be required to take the driver’s education course at Centerville high school.
Data: in past two years , several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers.
Assumption：a) those teenagers who are involved in the accidents are Centerville students
b) those accidents happened because of teenagers’ lacking driving skills

Claim: Teenagers have no one to learn driving from
Data: a number of parents in Centerville claimed that they have no time to teach their teenagers to drive and parents on tight budget cannot afford driving schools
Assumption: a) no other people but parents are the only ones that teenagers can learn driving from
b) parents who cannot afford driving school doesn’t mean they have no time teaching them.

Claim: high school is the only solution to this serious problem
Data:  all information above
Assumption: a) there are no other institutions are willing to help
b) all students can learn well in this course and improve their driving skills

TS：In the letter the author claim to launch a high school student driving course program in Centerville in order to solve teenager’s driving problem. While the reasoning of this argument is under some assumptions about students, the parents and the driving schools, if proven unwarranted, will seriously challenge the author’s recommendation.

Pt1: To start with, the author’s propose based on a evidence that several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers .Because of that , the author claim all students should be required to take driver’s education courses to ensure their security and driving skills. However, this assumption could be insufficient because we didn’t know whether these teenagers are local .If they are tourist, forcing Centerville high school students taking course will do no benefit on that problem. In addition, our information about causer of those accidents are lacking. There is a possibility that teenagers are just victims in those accidents, if so, their driving skills will not be a problem anymore. If these questions are fully confirmed, the author’s assumption will be weaken.

Pt2: In addition, by stating that the parents have either money or time for their children to learn driving, the author claim some course in school is necessary.
However, for those parents who are so busy at working, there is no way that they can teach teenagers to drive, but it doesn’t mean they cannot afford driving school. And for parents who claim driving school is too overpaid for them, they might have time to teach the students by themselves. Even for parents who are busy and short of budgets, they can still ask for relatives for help, teenagers’ uncles or neighbors can do their job .

Pt3: Finally, based on the evidences given in the letter, the writer seem to rule out the conclusion that the high school is the only one to help those teenagers out of this problem. While that is unwarranted, other institutions like local community and volunteer center also have ability to offer solutions for that.   

我来点评其他网友

句子1：
WF WC
原：For the students in primary school and high school, formal education can teach the students basic technics WC to keep learning and create new knowledges WF in the future, but in the university, students should not only just accepted formal education as it can just teach students the knowledge from the past but not future.
改：For the students in primary school and high school, formal education can teach the students(them) basic technics(techniques/skills) WC to keep learning and create new knowledges(knowledge)  WF in the future, but(.But) in the university（universities）, students should not only just（去掉一个） accepted（accept） formal education as it can just teach students the knowledge from the past but not future.
改：For students in primary schools and high schools, formal education teaches them basic techniques to keep them learning and creating new knowledge in the future. While in universities, students should not accept just formal education, as it does no good in innovation.   
感想时态和单复数的错误要消除，不要一味追求长句子容易导致语意不明。

句子2：
WF SS
原：To evaluate the argument, we need more evidence which are WF mainly about the condition of ancient Brim river, the possibility of the boat preserves SS till now and other way to cross the river.
改：To evaluate the argument, we need more evidence about the condition of ancient Brim river, the possibility of the boat preserves SS till now( boat preservation） and other way(ways) to cross the river.
Evidence 不可数 当构成复杂语法容易出错的时候 定语从句省略掉不影响表达

句子3：
WF RP
原：To begin with, it is assume WF that people are being healthier RP than ten years ago, as their eating habits are more conformed RP to government recommendations nutritional one RP than they did ten years ago.
改：To begin with, the author assume that people are healthier than they are ten years ago, as their eating habits are more conforming to government nutritional recommendations.
时间状语不必反复提及容易造成混乱 有时候觉得要强调的话后面可以再用别的句子进行指出 这样也能显得句子丰富

总体感想：这样的语法互改让我意识到了一些自己存在的问题 印象深刻以后一定会避免而且因为批改 本着对原句负责的原则注重了细节问题。有时候我也会为了套用复杂句式而把语法说的面目全非意思不明 以后一定更加注意。

bio-LUID: 3788600

74) The president of Grove College has recommended that the college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men. Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

A：
According to the president of Grove College, admitting male students could increase school’s applications and enrollment. On the other hand, the director of the alumnae association uses data of surveys of incoming students and respondents to refute that Grove College should reserve its all-female status. In order to evaluate the president’s recommendation, questions need to be answered regarding the conditions of Grove College and other college who begins to admitting men, the validity of the director and, the comprehensive thinking of respondents about the recommendation.

For one thing, the president use the examples that other all-female college have a increase in applications after abandon their admitting requirement. However, is the increase indeed caused by the reason that abandoning the admitting rule? If these colleges adapt more methods have not be illustrated which also have a significant influence on the application quantities? We just don’t know, nor do we know if the conditions between Grove College and other these colleges are so similar that this method could apply to Grove college and ensure a same increase. In fact, granted that  the increase of application indeed is contributed by the abandon, we still could say certainly that Grove also could have this increase after taking this method, due to some other reasons. For example, if Grove college have instinctive classes are mainly popular to girls? If these courses have a big percentage in all courses? So, if the president wanted to make the recommendation appear cogent and compelling, he need ask these questions specifically.

On the other hand ,we don't know the validity of ...

Moreover, if there is a possibility that  the respondents would change their mind?


WF Word form (sometimes  verb form)
/RP rephrase
There is no deny WF that the youth is an essential component of our society, but when we talk about understanding contemporary culture, choosing the most effective way depend  RP on what kinds of culture we are going to have knowledge about.
修改：
There is no denying that youth is an essential component of our society, so maybe it would be a must to study them. But, if we want to choose the most effective way, we should learn what kinds of culture we are going to study at first.
作者想说明一个关系，就是 如何选择最佳的方案取决于方案本身的性质。但是这个逻辑并不好表述，（其实我也不会），所以可以换种说法。还有，拆成短句可以降低难度。

POS 词性错误
TS3: besides, there is also some vital time we have to make immediate decision without a second hesitate POS.

修改：besides, there is also some vital time we have to make immediate decision without second's hesitation
作者想用一个小短语作为亮点，但是这种句子可能很难表述，因为本身没有习惯。所以没有十足把握我还是不要亲易尝试了……
我发现这种尝试有点凭感觉，感觉好像一些短语是没有语法的（可能是习惯表达）。所以应该特别注意其语法合理性。

powerfulbeanUID: 3829312

74) The president of Grove College has recommended that the college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men. Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Claim:
Grove College can experience an increase in application after adopting coeducation.
Data:
Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment.
Warrant:
Because other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, Grove College also can.
Question:
Is all the college that adopt coeducation accept more applications?
Is the increase in other colleges is significant?
Is Grove College ready to accommodate more students, the fund? Budget?
Is the Grove College in the same situation as other schools that adopted coeducation? May be not as same as the successful colleges, the Grove College are in the area which do not possess so many male students ready to enter the college.

Claim:
Adopting coeducation will have negative impact on the applications of Grove College.
Data:
Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.
Warrant:
Because the graduated and undergraduate students favored the college keeping the college all female, few female students will applicant Grove College if it adopt coeducation.
Question:
What the proportion of incoming students what accept the annual surveys?
Does the coeducation is also another primary reason?
Does the survey of Grove alumnae happened recently？

Intro:
According to the president of Grove College, admitting male students will increase the number of applicants and enrollments. On the other hand, the alum association director uses data from survey of incoming students and alumnae to oppose the recommendation. Question have to be answered regarding how comparable Grove College is to other all-female colleges, the attitudes of current students, faculty members and also the school’s budget.

TS1
We do not know for sure that Grove School will have more applications if switching to a co-educational college. The first thing we have to figure out is that is all the colleges choosing to adopt coeducation enjoy an increase in applications and enrollments? If not, which is of high possibility, we also have to make sure if it is useful to compare Grove to other all-female colleges which recently made the move.  May be those colleges are in the areas which possess a lot of male students ready to enter colleges, or they have enough class rooms, dorms and teachers to accommodate more students. So, if other colleges have some positive factors  that Grove does not share, the data from the other colleges would not be relevant for making decision.

修改部分明天补上 ：D

安歌UID: 3662922

Arg 17 Change to news and talk for radio station

17) The following appeared in a memorandum from the manager of WWAC radio station.

To reverse a decline in listener numbers, our owners have decided that WWAC must change from its current rock-music format. The decline has occurred despite population growth in our listening area, but that growth has resulted mainly from people moving here after their retirement. We must make listeners of these new residents. We could switch to a music format tailored to their tastes, but a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music suggests limited interest in music. Instead we should change to a news and talk format, a form of radio that is increasingly popular in our area.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Claim1
We must make listeners from new residents—the elderly.
Data
There is a decline of listeners in rock-music show against a population growth of retired people.
Evidence
Evidence is needed that indicate most elderly do not like rock-music. It is possible that there are more young people who are no longer interested in rock-music, the decrease rate of which exceeds the increase rate of elder people who get interested in rock-music.
Claim2
There is limited interest in music.
Data
a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music
Warrant
Evidence
It is important to show what kind of recorded music experience decline of sale.

Claim3
We should change to a news and talk format
Data
Warrant
a form of radio that is increasingly popular in our area
Evidence
Though this form of radio is increasingly popular, it might still not be as popular as the rock-music show. More evidence is needed to show how popular the news and talk show is compared with rock-music show.

According to manager of WWAC radio station, WWAC must change its current rock-music format. Mentioning a decline in listener numbers, the manager decides that the station will change its format to news and talk. A number of assumptions have been made about the change in number of listeners, local population and sales of recorded music. These assumptions need to be scrutinized carefully to assess the strength of the arguments.

To begin with, the manager decides to make listeners of the new residents—the retired people. Citing that the program witnesses decline in the number of listeners against increase in elder population, the manager makes the decision to meet the taste of the retired people. However, possibility remains that the elderly might turn out to be fan of rock-music program, if the number of young people who are interested in rock music declines at a faster rate in proportion to that of the elderly. In such a manner, changing the format may neither meet the need of the younger generation nor the taste of the old.
…
In conclusion, it might be insufficient to draw the conclusion that changing the format from rock-music to news and talk can really reverse the current down fall for the station. The assumptions have to be critically examined by referring to issues such as the taste of the retired population, the sales conditions of the recorded music and the popularity of news and talk in the local area.


POS
RS

原句：Information exploding, there are more and more different among distinct professions, anyone who wants to make new discovery in typical filed must spend much time in learning what have been done and what to be done.

1.        there are more and more different – differences
2.        Information exploding, there are more and more differences among distinct professions. (断句) Anyone who wants to make new discovery in typical filed must spend much time in learning what have been done and what to be done.
3.        Anyone who wants to make new discovery in typical filed must spend much (more) time in learning what have been done and what (need) to be done.

MaggieLLLLLLUID: 3827790

32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The vice president of Quiot Manufacturing concluded that the company should shorten their work shifts by one hour in order to reduce on-the-job accident and improve productivity by providing the evidence that fatigue and lack of sleep is the primary factor of working accidents and that Panoply who has less accidents has a shorter working shift than them. However, before we could successfully convinced that the recommendation is effective, we should examine the warranties some assumptions that sleeping the real cause of the accidents, shorten working shifts could be useful to provide more sleeping time to their employees and that getting more sleep would increase the company's productivity.
       
Firstly, the vice president assumed that the cause of on-the-job accidents of Quiot Manufacturing is lack of sleep of their employee which was stated by the expert. Nevertheless, there may be other possibilities that the employees of Quiot Manufacturing already has enough sleep, and the reason why there are more on-the-job accidents is that their employees are lack of proper training, or the job they done is simply more dangerous than what Panoply's workers done. It may also be the fault of the outdated machines and facilitates that could cause accidents. Without fully ruled out all the other possibilities that could cause the accidents, we could not be give this hasty assumption that the one and only reason of on-the-job accidents of Quiot Manufacturing is because of lack of sleep, which then further put his argument untenable.

Secondly, it is also assumed that shorten working shifts like Panoply would be useful in improving their employees' sleeping conditions. Yet, there may be other scenarios that the employees' lifestyle is unhealthy when most of them are used to stay up late during the night, or they simply use the extra time provided by the company to do other things for entertainment instead of sleeping. It also remains questionable that shorten each three work shifts by one hour would be adequate for their employees to get enough sleep because some employees may find it not enough. Lacking such information, we could not be convinced that by implementing this recommendation, the Quiot Manufacturing Company's employees would get enough sleep, which then leads to less accidents and more productivity as stated by the Vice President.

Thirdly, it is assumed that getting adequate sleep would lead to more productivity of the company. However, it may not be the case as the employees may already have enough sleep, and in order to increase productivity, the company may need to train their employees more systematically, to update their machines, to set a regulation and reward system. All the other scenarios may cast great doubt on the effectiveness of the argument which may further undermine the validity of the argument.

In conclusion, the argument that the Quiot Company should shorten their working shift to reduce on-the-job accidents and increase productivity has some unstated assumptions which, if proven to be unwarranted, would hugely vitiate the soundness of the argument. These assumptions include that the real factor of more accidents is lack of sleep, the shorten working shifts by one hour would bring their employees adequate sleep and getting more sleep would lead to improved productivity.

战G进行时UID: 3727585

3) The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

开头段
According to the letter, the store owner who writes it believes that skateboarding is the direct cause of the decrease of shoppers in Central Plaza and that the prohibition of skateboarding is helpful to increase the business in the plaza. However, if we delve into the phenomenon described by the owner, some questions need to be answered to link the recommendation to the predicted result.

中间段
First of all, it is necessary to find out why the number of customers who come to the plaza and spend money has been decreasing in the past two years. The owner mainly attributes it to the popularity of skateboarding. However, there is no data to indicate that shoppers dislike the skateboarding people. Maybe shoppers discard the plaza due to its poor products or service quality, or they may also find a better place to enjoy shopping. If this is the case, there is no use prohibiting skateboarding.

改错
SV
            Subject-verb agreement  
            The subject and verb  do not agree in number
  主谓一致
The conclusion is based on the assumption that the results of the survey is reliable.
修改：
The conclusion is based on the assumption that the results of the survey are reliable.

However, some people points SV out when happening something RP under emergency, they should make a risky choice without much thinking.
修改
However, some people point out that when there is something happening under emergency, they should make a risky choice without much thinking.

The chairperson merely compare SV the current data with previous years recycling state
修改
The chairperson merely compares the current data with previous years recycling state

感想：主谓不一致或者时态错误是我之前互改里几乎每篇都会遇到，甚至不只一次的。非常值得重视的一个问题

Joker—XYZUID: 3508086

Argument 74/147/148/149/156
Arg 74Girls college Switches to co-education

74) The president of Grove College has recommended that the college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men. Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.


1
claim: The college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men.
data: Experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation,
warrant : Coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment.

question: Are there any other all-female college had similar change recently?
evidence: applications data and enrollment data of these schools.
assumption: Coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment.

2
claim: All-female education is essential to the very identity of the college.
data: Annual surveys of incoming students shows that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove.
warrant :The college should continually insist its century-old tradition of all-female education

question: How many alumnae participated in the annual surveys?
evidence: A  considerable number of alumnae participated the annual.
assumption: Coeducation will cause losing of some potential female students.

3
claim: All-female education is essential to the very identity of the college.
data: A survey of Grove alumnae shows in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.
warrant :The college should continually insist its century-old tradition of all-female education.

question: The backgrounds of the survey respondents.
evidence: The survey respondents have various backgrounds.
assumption:The survey is accountable and the college should continually insist its century-old tradition of all-female education.

intro:

According to the president of Grove College, the college should turn to coeducation to increase applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan and cites survey of incoming students and alumnae, respectively. To evaluate the argument, there should be a comparison  of Grove College and other all-female colleges.In addition, the soundness of the surveys should be checked.

2
On the other hand, the directer of the alumnae association cites data from different surveys to oppose president’s point.It is important to consider  the attitudes of incoming students, alumnae, faculty members, employers and the entire society. We do not know for sure if the design of the surveys is completed and the respondents are various. The soundness of a survey depends on a considerable counterparts who have various backgrounds.

SylviaMengyayaUID: 3693199

5) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Claim: the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season.
Claim: By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville.
Data: Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on mopeds last year.
Warrant: limits on moped rentals is the main reason of Seaville’s reduction; two islands are similar with each other.
Questions: Whether limits on moped rentals is the main reason of the reduction in Seaville’s town? Whether most accidents in Balmer Island happen in summer? Whether the increasing of population is the main reason of the accidents on the Balmer Island?

Intro: In the letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette, it is recommended that the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the islands moped rental companies from 50 per  day to 25 per day during the summer season and the moped accidents will reduce 50 percent annually. The reason for this recommendation is that reduction in moped accidents was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, which enforced similar limits last year. We need to answer questions about the reason of the reduction in Seaville’s town, the records of accidents in Balmer Island and the cause of accidents to evaluate the recommendation.

P1: First of all, we need to know what is the main reason of the reduction in Seaville Island. It is said in the letter that Seaville attained 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents and its town council enforced the similar limits last year. However, we can not make sure that this limitation is the main reason of the reduction in Seaville Island. Maybe Seaville’s council put forward other policies such as providing free bicycles to citizen and strengthen traffic regulation. Therefore, we need to know whether the limits on mopeds  is the main reason of the reduction of  moped accidents in Swaville Island last summer.

改错练习：WC
Secondly,sophisticated mathematical models or computer stimulating softwares are anticipated (WC- word choice) to analysis risks well in an scientific ways
修改：is anticipated to —> is expected to
感想：选词问题其实也困惑了我很久，但是一直没找到什么好的解决方法，感觉唯一的方法就是多看多积累。其实我们写语文作文的时候有些词的用法也是不确定的，也是需要查词典，然后记下来，再应用到写作当中。

huan19880122UID: 2657720

Argument 3/171
Arg 3skateboarding in Central Plaza

3) The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

开头段：
The argument states that the skateboard users are responsible for the business decline and the problems of litter and vandalism of Central Plaza, thus recommends to prohibit skateboarding to restore its business level. To assess whether this policy would work, root causes of the listing problems should be investigated and the possible effects of the policy fully considered.

中间段：
Even skateboarders are responsible for the listed problems at some level, prohibiting skateboarding may not be a solution, even could worsen the problems. It could reduce the numbers of shoppers related to skateboarding. As known from the argument, dramatically increased popularity of skateboarding implies a large amount of people will be affected if the policy implements. Skateboarders, their families and friends may have been regular customers of the plaza. Skateboarders may have used to shop at the plaza before or after skateboarding, so do their families and friends, due to the convenience. By implementing the inhibiting policy, Central Plaza stands a large chance losing this proportion of customers.

修改1  RP
原句：TS：Imagination has been emphasized for decades along with the progress in professional and academic fields. The prevalence of the phrase ‘thinking outside the box’ is a commonly seen evidence. I admit imagination is paramount during the emergence of a new industry or scientific field, but at the current stage of most professions and academic fields, which are built with thousands or hundreds years accumulated knowledge, imagination can only have its role when people acquired with RP proper knowledge. 


修改：I admit imagination is paramount during the emergence of a new industry or scientific field, but at the current stage of most professions and academic fields, which are built with thousands or hundreds years accumulated knowledge, imagination can only have its role with well founded knowledge.

修改2: RP
原句：The argument assumes if Palean basket is made by Palean people, its appearance in Lithos has to be brought over (RP) by people.

修改：The argument assumes if Palean basket is made by Palean people, the only possible explanation of its appearance in Lithos is to be carried to Lithos by human beings.

修改3:RP
原句：However, many other ways could also do the work.
修改：However, many other possible scenarios could also explain the appearance.

感受：只有自己知道自己在说啥是很多年前最开始写作文时最大的问题，开始很难发现和接受是自己的问题，后来准备申请材料的时候有次别人帮忙修改，一下子开窍了。写作就是对自己观点的表达，我们的教育对这方面的涉及太少，以前的语文作文也都是注重所谓表达‘意境和感情’，却没人在乎说理，就导致了自觉写的表达的是至真道理，在别人眼里根本不知道你想说啥，虽然经过很多年，自觉改进了很多，经老师批改才发现，这老毛病还是偶尔冒头，需要注意。

SilverBUID: 3790946

3) The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

claim: Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza.
data: Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically.
warrant: (The owner think the decrease of their business and the skateboard users appear at the same time. The reducing of the shoppers leads to the decreasing of stores' business.)
question: Are the question of the business decline is really the skateboarding? Maybe other options: another emporium not far from here opened to the shoppers two years ago.

claim: (The increase in the amount of litter and vandalism due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza.)
data: There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism.
warrant: (The litter and vandalism are made by the skateboard users.)
question: Where are the litter come from? maybe other people who play here. maybe because the decline of the shoppers, Central Plaza has reduced the frequency of cleaning and repair service.

claim: The owners of the stores recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza and predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high level.
data: The increasing in the amount of litter and vandalism due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza.
warrant:
question: Even if all these problems are related to skateboarding, would all the things return to the previous level? Do they have the right to prohibit the activities in Central Plaza?

Introduce:
According to the author, in the past two years, the number of the shoppers in the Central Plaza has declined sharply as the increasing of the skateboarding. Indeed, the author argues that skateboarding is responded for more litter and serious vandalism in the past two years. Consequently, the author appeals to prohibit skateboarding in order to return the high level. To evaluate the claim of the recommendation, we need to ask a number of questions related to the decline of shoppers, the increasing of rubbish and damage, and the situation after prohibiting skateboarding. And all the questions point out the holes in the arguments.

Middle:
In order to fully evaluate this letter, we also need to learn more about the question related to the decline of shoppers. Are the reason of the business decline is really the skateboarding? We don't know, the owners of stores insist the statement just because they occurred at same time. But the time range is so long, two years, as to determine the relationship between business and skateboarding. Moreover, the reason for the decline of shoppers is perhaps another emporium not far from here opened to citizen two years ago. And the emporium is more convenient and abundant than Central Plaza. According to market competition theory, the customers naturally choose the better stores, and the other one would lose their market and customers. This possible reason provides another perspective and illustrates the hole in the letter.


错误类型：WC

原句：The argument (WC) talks about whether we should think about the consequence over before we take the risk. In my opinion, whether to do that depends on how much you know about the risks, whether you can do some analyzing (VF) of risk and the situation (WC- a bit too vague here) in which the risk taker is (RP) .(Issue 61)
修改：The issue talks about whether we should think about the consequence over before we take the risk. In my opinion, whether to do that depends on how much you know about the risks, whether you can do some analyzing (VF) of risk, and the specific characteristic of risks like environment, your position and so on.

感想：
单词使用不恰当的具体错误很难被作者自己发现， 该错误有三种类型，一种是英语中没有这样的表达，一种是非惯用表达（使用同义词替代，但是不合适），还有一种是语法都没有问题，但是单词的程度不合适。
第一种类型一般在写作的时候，作者能够感受到不是很确定，可通过自问：在英文文章中见过这样的表达吗？这是一个考验记忆库的过程，如果没有见过，而且想确认一下这样表达是否可以，可通过Google搜索这样的表达，看结果数量。
第二种类型也可按照上述方法确认，但是在积累同义词的过程中明确每种词的使用情况和范围。
第三种类型需要根据具体的文章情况来判断单词的表达，方法基本是通过能力比自己高的人的feedback查找。