argument38

济公UID: 172138

In this argument the arguer recommends that daily use of Ichthaid to prevent colds and lower the absenteeism. To support this recommendation the arguer cites the fact that the people in nearby East Meria where fish consumption is very high visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Furthermore the arguer points out that colds are the reason most frequently given for the absence from the school and work. However, this argument is fallacious in several respects.

First, the low visit to the doctor of the people in near the East Meria lends little support to the recommendation to use the Ichthaid everyday. On the one hand, maybe there are other reasons for the low incidence of colds on the people in those distinct. It is entirely possible that other food in their diets or the water they drink can improve their ability to resist the colds and possibly some other diseases. Unless the arguer tells us that the diets of these people are almost same with that of others other than more fish we cannot believe that it is the fish that lower the incidence of the cold in these people. We cannot rule out the possibility that it is the special life styles that guarantee their health, such as proper exercises. There is another possibility that maybe the whole make - ups of their races make them less likely to fall into colds. On the other hand, granted that the fish they eat are responsible for their fewer colds, which element of the fish is effective is still unknown from the argument. Whether the Ichthaid contains the useful part of the fish is open to doubt. To prove that the Ichthaid is effective the arguer should guarantee us that the Ichthaid contains the very useful part of the fish.


Second, granted that this product can lower the incidence of colds, it cannot indicate that it can also lower the absenteeism. On the one hand, as the arguer says colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, there must be other reasons for the absence. When the colds as the reason decline whether other reasons will not increase at the same time is uncertain. If other reasons for absence increase with the decline of colds, it is possible that absenteeism will not decline or even increase. On the other hand, since colds are just the reason supplied by the students or the workers, whether colds are the true reason for absence is dubious. It is entirely possible that they just apply colds as excuses to have a rest or to do something that are irrelevant to their studies or their jobs. We all know that it is more likely to be rectified in some disease than in other reasons. Meanwhile cold is the most popular disease that is not much severe and in which the patient need rest as well. If so, even though the Ichthaid can decline the incidence of colds, it is difficult to lower the absenteeism. If the arguer can prove that colds are the true reasons for the absences from the school and work we support this recommendation.

To sum up, the arguer does not lend enough support to this argument. To support this recommendation the arguer should guarantee that the Ichthaid contains the very effective parts of the fish that can actually lower the incidence of colds in the people the East Meria. To better evaluate this argument we need the information about whether other reasons for the absences will change or whether colds are the true reasons for the absences.

posicarUID: 169586

In this argument the arguer recommends that daily use of Ichthaid to去掉to改为can prevent colds and lower the absenteeism. To support this recommendation the arguer cites the fact that the people in nearby East Meria where fish consumption is very high andvisit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Furthermore the arguer points out that colds are the reason most frequently given for the absence from the school and work. However, this argument is fallacious in several respects.

First, the low visit to the doctor of the people in near the East Meria lends little support to the recommendation to use the Ichthaid everyday. On the one hand,c此处可以不用on the other hand,因为你前面还没说过on the one hand maybe there are other reasons for the low incidence of colds on the people in those distinct. It is entirely possible that other food in their diets or the water they drink前面提到的是food,所以用eat/have can improve their ability to resist the colds and possibly some other diseases. Unless the arguer tells us that the diets of these people are almost same with that of others other than more fish we cannot believe that it is the fish that lower the incidence of the cold in these people. We cannot rule out the possibility that it is the special life styles that guarantee their health, such as proper exercises. There is another possibility that maybe the whole make - ups make-ups,连字符不空格，破折号空格of their races make them less likely to fall into colds. On the other hand, granted that the fish they eat are responsible for their fewer colds, which element of the fish is effective is still unknown from the argument. Whether the 去掉theIchthaid contains the useful part of the fish is open to doubt. To prove that the Ichthaid is effective the arguer should guarantee us that the Ichthaid contains the very useful part of the fish.


Second, granted that this product can lower the incidence of colds, it cannot indicate that it can also lower the absenteeism. On the one hand, as the arguer says colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, there must be other reasons for the absence. When the colds as the reason decline whether other reasons will not increase at the same time is uncertain. If other reasons for absence increase with the decline of colds, it is possible that absenteeism will not decline or even increase. On the other hand, since colds are just the reason supplied by the students or the workers, whether colds are the true reason for absence is dubious. It is entirely possible that they just apply colds as excuses to have a rest or to do something that are irrelevant to their studies or their jobs. We all know that it is more likely to be rectified in some disease than in other reasons. Meanwhile cold is the most popular disease that is not much severe and in which the patient need rest as well. If so, even though the Ichthaid can decline the incidence of colds, it is difficult to lower the absenteeism. If the arguer can prove that colds are the true reasons for the absences from the school and work, we support this recommendation.he can support this recommendation

To sum up, the arguer does not lend enough support to this argument. To support this recommendation the arguer should guaranteemake sure that the Ichthaid contains the very effective parts of the fish that can actually lower the incidence of colds in the people the East Meria. To better evaluate this argument we need the information about whether other reasons for the absences will change or whether colds are the true reasons for the absences.

觉得你写的比我好啊！我的也贴上了，帮忙看一眼。

posicarUID: 169586

In this argument, the arguer reaches the conclusion that they should use Ichthaid, a nutritional suplement derived from fish oil, every day to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. The arguer cites as reasons that people of East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for colds because they eat a substantial amount of fish. The conclusion lacks credibility because the reasoning process is problematic.

First, there is no sufficient evidence suggest that people of East Meria rarely get colds. There may be some other reasons for they rarely visit the doctors. Maybe the people there just take medicine at home when they are ill rather than go to the doctors'. More over, the author assumes that peolple in East Meria rarely gets cold due to the fact that they eat a lot of fish but gives, rather than some other facts. It is possible that the local people take another kind of special food to prevent cold. Or the weather there are warm and fine so people are less likely to get colds. Without ruling out these possibility, the conclusion is unconvincing.

Second, there is no evidence presented that colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work. The arguer does not provide any exact statistics to domenstrate cold is the most frequently reason for absences. It is possible that some people absent from school and work not because they have a cold but for other reasons. And they just report that they have caught a cold for excuse. Maybe colds are ordinary sickness in everyday life and it will be more likely accepted by teachers and superiors so it is usually be reported as an excuse.

Third, even we admit that eating fish can prevent colds, it does not mean take Ichthaid will help to prevent cold. The arguer cites that Ichthaid was derived from fish oil, however, maybe other parts of the fish help to prevent colds, such as fish's brain, fish eyes or other parts. The arguer should offer more evidence or statistics to illustrate that Ichthaid exactly same as fish.

In summary, the author makes simply groundless conclusions without providing any real spport for his or her argument.

写的很烂啊，请用力砸啊！字数很少，论证的不充分
弱弱的问：你觉得能打多少分？能4分吗？

静烟UID: 140271

In this argument the arguer recommends that daily use of Ichthaid to prevent colds and lower the absenteeism. To support this recommendation the arguer cites the fact that the people in nearby East Meria where fish consumption is very high visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Furthermore the arguer points out that× colds are the reason most frequently given for the absence from the school and work. However, this argument is fallacious in several respects.

First, the low visit to the doctor of the people in near the East Meria lends little support to the recommendation to use the Ichthaid everyday. On the one hand, maybe there are other reasons for the low incidence of colds on the people in those distinct. It is entirely possible that other food in their diets or the water they drink can improve their abilityimmunity不知道好不好 to resist the colds and possibly some other diseases. Unless the arguer tells us that the diets of these people are almost same with that of others other than more fish这句话读起来很拗口，大概明白你的意思 we cannot believe that it is the fish that lower the incidence of the cold in these people. We cannot rule out the possibility that it is the special life styles that guarantee their health, such as proper exercisessuch as 好像是跟多个列举的，一个的话就like 就行了，不过问题不大.  There is another possibility that maybe the whole make – ups of their races？？说得是他们的种族很强吗 make them less likely to fall into colds. On the other hand, granted that the fish they eat are responsible for their fewer colds, which element of the fish is effective is still unknown from the argument. 这个理由比较有力，不谋而合啊Whether the Ichthaid contains the useful part of the fish is open to doubt. To prove that the Ichthaid is effective the arguer should guarantee us that the Ichthaid contains the very useful应该说清楚对什么有效，治疗感冒吧 part of the fish.


Second, granted可以用几个even if，even though换换口味：）that this product can lower the incidence of colds, it cannot indicate that it can also lower the absenteeism. 明确，层层深入，不错On the one hand, as the arguer says colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, there must be other reasons for the absence用了as……但是看不出有因果关系. When the colds as the reason decline whether other reasons will not increase at the same time is uncertain. If other reasons for absence increase withwith怪怪得，如果你想说感冒得病率下降而别的原因又上升了，是不是用when比较好呢，而且reason用increase 不是很恰当 the decline of colds同理cold用decline也不太好, it is possible that absenteeism will not decline or even increase. On the other hand, since colds are just the reason supplied by the students or the workers, whether colds are the true reason for absence is dubious. It is entirely possible that they just apply colds as excuses to have a rest or to do something that are irrelevant to their studies or their jobs（后半个理由牵强了些，实在想不出别的干脆弃用. We all know that it is more likely to be rectified这个词应该是调整，矫正的意思吧，放在这里什么意思，我不是很明白 in some disease than in other reasons. Meanwhile cold is the most popular disease that is not much severe and in which the patient need rest as well. If so, even though the Ichthaid can decline the incidence of colds, it is difficult to lower the absenteeismwhich may caused by other diseases. If the arguer can prove that colds are the true reasons for the absences from the school and work we will support this recommendation.

To sum up, the arguer does not lend enough support to this argument. To support this recommendation the arguer should guarantee that the Ichthaid contains the very effective parts of the fish that can actually lower the incidence of colds in the people the East Meria. To better evaluate this argument we need the information about whether other reasons for the absences will change or whether colds are the true reasons for the absences.
语言重复比较多，像on the one hand 的什么的，用一次就ok了，increase，decrease 太多，可以查查同义词变换一下，驳的几个点很不错，可是深入不够，好像老是围着一句话在转，文章应该还能再分几段，两段论证有点让人看的晕。 呵呵，第一次批，不好见谅啊，呵呵，大家一起加油，互相帮助，打到美帝国主义！！：P

cactus_gUID: 171393

In this argument the arguer recommends that daily use of Ichthaid to prevent colds and lower the absenteeism. To support this recommendation the arguer cites the fact that the people in nearby East Meria where fish consumption is very high visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Furthermore the arguer points out that colds are the reason most frequently given for the absence from the school and work. However, this argument is fallacious in several respects.

First, the low visit to the doctor of the people in near the East Meria lends little support to the recommendation to use the Ichthaid everyday. [你看这样是不是好一些，首先提出次数少不代表没病＝》可能是不在乎活其他原因；然后再说即使真的有病，并不一定就是ichthaid的作用,diet，exercise，natural resistant and so on 感觉这样逻辑性更强一些]On the one hand, maybe there are other reasons for the low incidence of colds on the people in those distinct. It is entirely possible that other food in their diets or the water they drink can improve their ability to resist the colds and possibly some other diseases. Unless the arguer tells us that the diets of these people are almost same with that of others other than more fish we cannot believe that it is the fish that lower the incidence of the cold in these people. We cannot rule out the possibility that it is the special life styles that guarantee their health, such as proper exercises. There is another possibility that maybe the whole make - ups of their races make them less likely to fall into colds. On the other hand, granted that the fish they eat are responsible for their fewer colds, which element of the fish is effective is still unknown from the argument. Whether the Ichthaid contains the useful part of the fish is open to doubt. To prove that the Ichthaid is effective the arguer should guarantee us that the Ichthaid contains the very useful part of the fish.[关于最后这个错误另其一段可好？]


Second, granted that this product can lower the incidence of colds, it cannot indicate that it can also lower the absenteeism. On the one hand, as the arguer says colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, there must be other reasons for the absence. [好像自相矛盾了吧，你承认了colds是absenteeism的主要原因，而且这个product还能lower the rate of cold，岂不是支持arguer的观点？我觉得应该直接说不能忽略其他的原因which may also cause the...而且总体来讲占相当一部分，然后展开]When the colds as the reason decline whether other reasons will not increase at the same time is uncertain. If other reasons for absence increase with the decline of colds, it is possible that absenteeism will not decline or even increase. On the other hand, since colds are just the reason supplied by the students or the workers, whether colds are the true reason for absence is dubious. It is entirely possible that they just apply colds as excuses to have a rest or to do something that are irrelevant to their studies or their jobs. We all know that it is more likely to be rectified in some disease than in other reasons. Meanwhile cold is the most popular disease that is not much severe and in which the patient need rest as well. If so, even though the Ichthaid can decline the incidence of colds, it is difficult to lower the absenteeism. If the arguer can prove that colds are the true reasons for the absences from the school and work we support this recommendation. [感觉这一段有些繁琐，不是很简明]

To sum up, the arguer does not lend enough support to this argument. To support this recommendation the arguer should guarantee that the Ichthaid contains the very effective parts of the fish that can actually lower the incidence of colds in the people the East Meria. To better evaluate this argument we need the information about whether other reasons for the absences will change or whether colds are the true reasons for the absences.
[一点拙见，大家互相帮助，共同努力。]

济公UID: 172138

In this argument, the arguer reaches the conclusion that they should use Ichthaid, a nutritional suplement derived from fish oil, every day to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. The arguer cites as reasons that people of East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for colds because they eat a substantial amount of fish. The other adevidenceThe conclusion lacks credibility because the reasoning process is problematic.

First, there is no sufficient evidence suggest that people of East Meria rarely get colds. There may be some other reasons for they rarely visit the doctors. Maybe the people there just take medicine at home when they are ill rather than go to the doctors'. More over, the author assumes that peolple in East Meria rarely gets cold due to the fact that they eat a lot of fish but gives, rather than some other facts. It is possible that the local people take another kind of special food to prevent cold. Or the weather there are warm and fine ?I THINK THE PROPER ONE IS THAT IT IS WARM........so people are less likely to get colds. Without ruling out these possibility, the conclusion is unconvincing.再充分一些

Second, there is no evidence presented that colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work.好 The arguer does not provide any exact statistics to domenstrate cold is the most frequently reason for absences. It is possible that some people absent from school and work not because they have a cold but for other reasons. And they just report that they have caught a cold for excuse. Maybe colds are ordinary sickness in everyday life and it will be more likely accepted by teachers and superiors so it is usually be reported as an excuse.

Third, even we admit that eating fish can prevent colds, it does not mean take Ichthaid will help to prevent cold. The arguer cites that Ichthaid was ISderived from fish oil, however, maybe other parts of the fish help to prevent colds, such as fish's brain, fish eyes or other parts. The arguer should offer more evidence or statistics to illustrate that Ichthaid exactly same as fish.

In summary, the author makes simply groundless conclusions without providing any real spport for his or her argument.
结尾好像不够有力至少要有些建议吧 写的不错啊 我是超时写的

济公UID: 172138

不好意思我用英语给你改的不明显 如果需要明天我重改


多谢各位 共同进步 建议很好

济公UID: 172138

2楼我重新给你改的  

In this argument, the arguer reaches the conclusion that they should use Ichthaid, a nutritional suplement derived from fish oil, every day to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. The arguer cites as reasons that people of East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for colds because they eat a substantial amount of fish. The conclusion lacks credibility because the reasoning process is problematic.缺少一个理由

First, there is no sufficient evidence suggest that people of East Meria rarely get colds. There may be some other reasons for they rarely visit the doctors. Maybe the people there just take medicine at home when they are ill rather than go to the doctors'. More over, the author assumes that peolple in East Meria rarely gets cold due to the fact that they eat a lot of fish but gives, rather than some other facts. It is possible that the local people take another kind of special food to prevent cold. Or the weather there are warm应该是IT IS ....... and fine so people are less likely to get colds. Without ruling out these possibility, the conclusion is unconvincing.

Second, there is no evidence presented that colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work我得学习你这一点   The arguer does not provide any exact statistics to domenstrate cold is the most frequently reason for absences. 前是原因后是真实性有些混淆It is possible that some people absent from school and work not because they have a cold but for other reasons. And they just report that they have caught a cold for excuse. Maybe colds are ordinary sickness in everyday life and it will be more likely accepted by teachers and superiors so it is usually be reported as an excuse.

Third, even we admit that eating fish can prevent colds, it does not mean take Ichthaid will help to prevent cold. The arguer cites that Ichthaid was 好像用ISderived from fish oil, however, maybe other parts of the fish help to prevent colds, such as fish's brain, fish eyes or other parts. The arguer should offer more evidence or statistics to illustrate that Ichthaid exactly same as fish.

In summary, the author makes simply groundless conclusions without providing any real spport for his or her argument.
结尾不好我已指出

posicarUID: 169586

hehe谢谢了，我这篇很短，只有360字左右，但是限时完成的，结尾部分没时间写了。很多内容都没考虑到，谢谢大家的提醒。

cleonlxUID: 172606

In this argument, the arguer reaches the conclusion that they should use Ichthaid, a nutritional suplement[supplement] derived from fish oil, every day to prevent colds and lower absenteeism. The arguer cites as reasons that people of East Meria visit the doctor only once or twice per year for colds because they eat a substantial amount of fish.[我觉得可以再简写一下，过多重复题目内容没有多大意义。若觉得字数不够的话，可以在后面来个小让步，或者对作者的大体论证观稍作分析。] The conclusion lacks credibility because the reasoning process is problematic.

First, there is no sufficient evidence suggest that people of East Meria rarely get colds. There may be some other reasons for they rarely visit the doctors. Maybe the people there just take medicine at home when they are ill rather than go to the doctors'. More over, the author assumes that peolple[people] in East Meria rarely gets cold due to the fact that they eat a lot of fish but gives, rather than some other facts.[我什么时候才能会用这样的句子...?] It is possible that the local people take another kind of special food to prevent cold. Or the weather there are warm and fine so people are less likely to get colds. Without ruling out these possibility[possibilities], the conclusion is unconvincing.
[后面的论证稍微有些跑了,你这一段的TS是没有证据证明E.M.的人很少换感冒,所以应该着重在论证"他们不去看医生并不能证明他们没病",而你后面的论据其实可以另起一段,作为"即便他们很少患病,也不能说明是吃鱼的原因." 或者,将TS的内容扩大一下.]

Second, there is no evidence presented that colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work. The arguer does not provide any exact statistics to domenstrate[demonstrate] cold is the most frequently reason for absences. It is possible that some people absent from school and work not because they have a cold but for other reasons. And they just report that they have caught a cold for excuse. Maybe colds are ordinary sickness in everyday life and it will be more likely accepted by teachers and superiors so it is usually be reported as an excuse.
[恩,这段的论证很好,句与句之间结合的也很好,论证点是我没想到的.]

Third, even we admit that eating fish can prevent colds, it does not mean take[err... taking?] Ichthaid will help to prevent cold. The arguer cites that Ichthaid was derived from fish oil, however, maybe other parts of the fish help to prevent colds, such as fish's brain, fish eyes or other parts. The arguer should offer more evidence or statistics to illustrate that Ichthaid exactly same as fish.[不应该是I和fish相比,而应该是他们的作用相比,你前面的论证都是如此,最后一句话稍微出了点问题.]

In summary, the author makes simply groundless conclusions without providing any real spport[support] for his or her argument.