托福作文求批改

zzg1993526UID: 3651376

题目是It is impossible to always be completely honest with your friends
之前小改过一遍。没有考试经验，想对自己有个定位，这篇能在4分以上吗


Honesty might be regarded as one of the most important characters in a relationship between friends and a person who has a reputation for honesty seems more likely to win the favor of others. Then, Should we be completely honest when getting alone with friends? As far as I am concerned, I think it is impossible to do so. Though honesty would sometimes contribute to the relationships, complete honesty also brings about a number of serious problems.

To start with, moderate honesty is truly conducive to the relationships between friends. Since honesty gives rise to understanding, which is essential to the incipient formation of a relationship, unacquainted people could eventually become close friends. The process of familiarity is mixed up with honesty from each other. By eliminating some divergence through exchanging ideas candidly, honesty is able to deepen mutual trust and promote friendship. If there were no longer any honesty exists, the world would be full of mendaciousness and cynics. Therefore, honesty is indispensable in both individual life and social function.

However, complete honesty without questioning is not always beneficial to friends or relationships, and it can be harmful to the society in some situations. It might seem a contradiction to common sense that deception also has advantages. Yet, in some cases, deception truly plays an important role in solving problems. For instance, if a doctor told you that your friend got a serious disease and must keep emotional stability in order to recuperate, should you choose to tell your friend the truth or a transitory lie to keep him or her calm? I consider that the latter choice would be more in favor of the recovery. Thus, when complete honesty is not appropriate, a kind of ‘white lie’ would be a better choice. With regard to the effect of complete honesty on the society, if your friends involved in a conspiracy that is illegal or pernicious to the society, you should not be completely honest with him or her. Honesty could be regarded as a virtue only when it is favorable to the whole society; as long as it breaks this rule, honesty should no longer be known as merit. Consequently, the results of honesty vary depending on the degrees and cases.

Moreover, complete honesty is harmful to people's fundamental privacy rights. Complete honesty means that nearly every secret is supposed to be shared, whether it is necessary or not. No one does not have a few secrets which he or she wants to conceal forever. If these secrets had nothing to do with others and just evoke oneself's embarrassment, why must they become overt? Even if in a most intimate relationship, it is necessary to leave some space for individual privacy, especially against the background of underlining the security of privacy in modern society. As an undergraduate, I have a right to choose my favorite electives and professors. A professor is always selected less in my institute. According to the investigation of the students who participated in his class, it is not because he is short of professional knowledge or teaching skills but resulted from his requirement of absolute honesty of his students. They claim that keep honest with the professor even on some frivolous affairs interrupt their sense of safety. Therefore, complete honesty might be detrimental to the fundamental right to privacy, which is essential to individuals.

In conclusion, though there are some benefits to be honest, I maintain that it is still impossible to always be completely honest with your friends. When people consider whether they should be honest with their friends in specific situations, the privacy right, the benefit of friends and the entire society should take into account. Honesty is meaningful only in this way.

Time1essunUID: 3653780

题目是问的朋友间， 但是你的第二段感觉已经默默地扩大了范围。还是就是前面两个分论点写的不是很好，写的有点太大，可以写的稍微具体一点，像第三个那样就好，这样下面论证的时候才会更有针对性，更有逻辑性。个人观点，希望能对你有帮助

popkartriderUID: 3863697

目测楼主写作至少能得25分 如果之前没考过 建议做仿真训练 就是拿tpo的题卡三十分钟在电脑上写 其实托福作文不太要求思维 不需要多么批判 辩证 或者有逻辑 只要能不犯拼写 语法错误就能拿高分 楼主放松心态 正常发挥 问题不大

ChlieTeashtUID: 3600444

If there were no longer any honesty exists, the world would be full of mendaciousness and cynics. 典型句式语法错误

society 前面一般不用加 the

第二第三主段辩证有问题。第二段 With regard to the effect of complete honesty on the society, if your friends involved in a conspiracy that is illegal or pernicious to the society, you should not be completely honest with him or her. Honesty could be regarded as a virtue only when it is favorable to the whole society; as long as it breaks this rule, honesty should no longer be known as merit. Consequently, the results of honesty vary depending on the degrees and cases. 这个观点很好啊，可以独立成一段的。

然后第三段扯到 professor 有点离题了觉得。而且这里好像涉及到 intellectual dishonesty 的问题？

其实一个辩证上的问题是你没有意识到 complete honesty 的对立面不一定是 lying, 也可以是 withholding information