argue221 my first article ,help me,thank you

foreverloveUID: 178226

题目
221The following appeared in the editorial section of a student newspaper.
"In a recent survey, most students who were studying beginning Russian gave higher course-evaluation ratings to classes taught by non-native Russian speakers than to classes taught by native Russian speakers. The reason that the non-native speakers were better teachers of Russian is easy to see: the non-native speakers learned Russian later in life themselves, and so they have a better understanding of how the language can be taught effectively. Therefore, in order to improve instruction for all languages and also save money, our university should hire non-native speakers as language instructors instead of trying to find and recruit native speakers."



正文
in this argument,the arguer conclude that the university should hire non-native speakers as language instructors instead of native speakers,
in support of his point of view,the arguer present a recent survey in which most students who were studying beginning russian prefer non-native speakers to native russian speakers.the arguer also reasoned that a non-native speaker understand how to taught effectively better.
but a careful examnation reaveals how groundless the conclusion is.

in the first place,the auther fails to convince us that the survey is representive.as the arguer points out,the survey is conducted among students who were studying beginning russian,which does not cover all the students who learn languages.it is quite likely that the students
learning english would like native speakers rather than non-native speakers.

in the second place,the author unfairly assumes that the non-native speaker can teach more effectively.to a non-native speaker,his pronunciation is probably not so standard,in addition, he know less
about the background of the culture and society of another country,this
will unavoidblely lead to misunderstandings in the class and eventurally
reduce effectiveness.
finally, it is unreasonable to claim that hiring non-native speakers will
save money. it is relatively easier for a native speaker to teach his familar language  , so the time spend on preparing the lessons is shorter compared with a non-native speaker.then it becomes possible that a native speaker will charge less than a non-native speaker.

to sum up,the conclution lacks credibility as the evidence cited in the
analysis does not lend strong support to the point of view of the arguer.

fhxyweiUID: 157384

1，批驳点还是找的比较好的，但是还要展开一下就好了，字数少了点吧
2，典型的模板看头，使文章显得有些头重脚轻，建议不要用，又花时间又不讨好
3，建议发文后编辑一下，使段落明晰，不然没人会看你的作文

foreverloveUID: 178226

谢谢!!,可是开头应该怎么办呢,我见很多文章也都是这样开头的