issue88 还有2星期就考了，还不知写法对不？大家帮个忙？狂谢！

gototeresaUID: 174496

我还有2星期就考了，还不知写法对不？已经该了数篇了，还是觉得一点都不通呢？大家狂砸阿？十分感谢！

Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics.


Clearly, society today lives in an era where technology expands so rapidly that it engenders a massive impact on all sorts of aspects of people's life. Among all the changes caused by the growing technology, the alterations in social customs, the usual way of behaving and acting, including the ways people spend their holidays and communicate, are most eye-catching and conspicuous. However, it would be ferocious if the ethics, that is, the moral principles or frameworks that are held by the majority of people, are being challenged.

Firstly, one of the most outstanding influences of technology on social customs at present day is upon holiday culture which is due to the powerful technology accessible in terms of transportation and entertainment. Prior to inventions such as automobiles and aircrafts being accessible, the common culture was to enjoy holidays and festivals within the home. This convention, however, followed by the innovations of transportation, has gradually adjusted into a culture of traveling abroad and seeking entertainment outside the homestead due to the highly developed variety available. Moreover, the invention of the television as a powerful tool of entertainment, on the contrary, has created a culture which has the opposite effect on social customs, where social interaction is substituted for a more insular environment within the home. Therefore, in any ways, the traditional social customs have been challenged and altered by the development of high technology.

Technology not only influences certain social customs but also determines them in areas such as communication. Traditionally, the ways to pass on information was mainly through letter writing or an oral messenger; whereas today, following the innovation of internet, emails and e-cards has become a fashion, and consequently, people hardly see friends' riveting greetings in handwriting. Furthermore, a more outstanding effect is the growing popularity of E-commerce and mobiles. E-Commerce enables people to trade via internet and they no longer need travel between stores to shop as they used to do; with the use of mobiles, people began to enjoy the convenience that has been brought out as they would no t be trapped at home to wait for a call. Therefore, the development of technology has fundamentally reconstructed the habitual features of human beings’ manners of living.

Last but not least, regarding the influence on people's ethics, it should be emphasized that we should make our every effort to ensure that the development of technology would not encroach upon our ethics. Since the moral standards were developed and shaped through thousands of years of history and passed on from one generation to another, it, in theory, should have a solid ground. However, it seems to have been violated. Take the huge debate at the moment, the issue of cloning for instance. Although it has huge advantages in areas such as genetic engineering technique where it is widely used in agriculture to cultivate better produce; some of the technological advantages that scientists have suggested issues that contradict with our morality in the sense that clone is used to create babies. Some scientists even asserts that making and killing (in the case of failure) cloning babies are merely part of the scientific experiment and this declaration is completely without any humanity and morality. Thus it would be treading on hazardous ground if the pace of development in technology drives us to break the existing ethics and let it along govern our judgments.

To sum up, it is beneficial that the development of technology has altered and even determined some of society’s social customs since it has brought out some noticeable positive outcomes which outweigh the drawbacks. Ethics, on the other hand, is likely to be hit in a detrimental way as our valuable moral standards tend to be destroyed. Therefore, we have to be vigilant to prohibit technology from controlling every aspect of our life.

636 words

gototeresaUID: 174496

咋没有人帮我看看呢？。。。：（ 先顶一下。好难过哦。。。真得那么烂吗？

dezhiUID: 156141

不要这么想啊，呵呵
我今天找时间帮你看看：）

dezhiUID: 156141

Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics.


Clearly, society today lives in an era where technology expands so rapidly that it engenders a massive impact on all sorts of aspects of people's life. Among all the changes caused by the growing technology, the alterations in social customs, the usual way of behaving and acting, including the ways people spend their holidays and communicate, are most eye-catching and conspicuous. However, it would be ferocious if the ethics, that is, the moral principles or frameworks that are held by the majority of people, are being challenged.
我认为开头过长,而且没有明确点明主题

Firstly, one of the most outstanding influences of technology on social customs at present day去掉 is upon holiday culture which is due to the powerful technology accessible in terms of transportation and entertainment. Prior to inventions such as automobiles and aircrafts being accessible, the common culture was to enjoy holidays and festivals within the home. This convention, however, followed by the innovations of transportation, has gradually adjusted into a culture of traveling abroad and seeking entertainment outside the homestead due to the highly developed variety available由于可以得到的变化?读不通. Moreover, the invention of the television as a powerful tool of entertainment, on the contrary, has created a culture which has the opposite effect on social customs, where social interaction is substituted for a more insular environment within the home. Therefore, in any ways, the traditional social customs have been challenged and altered by the development of high technology.
可以看出,词汇量较大.不过句子过长,从首句就可以看出来.有时简洁一些更好

Technology not only influences certain social customs but also determines them in areas such as communication. Traditionally, the ways to pass on information was mainly through letter writing or an oral messenger; whereas today, following the innovation of internet, emails and e-cards has become a fashion, and consequently, people hardly see friends' riveting greetings in handwriting. Furthermore, a more outstanding effect is the growing popularity of E-commerce and mobiles. E-Commerce enables people to trade via internet and they no longer need travel between stores to shop as they used to do; with the use of mobiles, people began to enjoy the convenience that has been brought out as they would no t be trapped at home to wait for a call. Therefore, the development of technology has fundamentally reconstructed the habitual features of human beings’ manners of living.

Last but not least, regarding the influence on people's ethics, it should be emphasized that we should make our every effort->make all efforts to ensure that the development of technology would not encroach upon our ethics. Since the moral standards were developed and shaped through thousands of years of history and passed on from one generation to another, it, in theory, should have a solid ground. However, it seems to have been violated. Take the huge debate at the moment, the issue of cloning逗号中的内容解释前面名词,你这里是不是反了? for instance. Although it has huge advantages in areas such as genetic engineering technique where it is widely used in agriculture to cultivate better produce; some of the technological advantages that scientists have suggested issues that contradict with our morality in the sense that clone is used to create babies. Some scientists even asserts that making and killing (in the case of failure) cloning babies are merely part of the scientific experiment and this declaration is completely without any humanity and morality. Thus it would be treading on hazardous ground if the pace of development in technology drives us to break the existing ethics and let it along govern our judgments.
这一段值得讨论.
首先题目说的是”科学技术不仅影响而且决定社会风俗和伦理”,因此你的文章也应该围绕这个展开.”影响”了吗?如果影响了,那有没有”决定”呢?
而这一段你却假定科技影响了ethics,然后说we should…,岂不是跑题吗?

To sum up, it is beneficial that the development of technology has altered and even determined some of society’s social customs since it has brought out some noticeable positive outcomes which outweigh the drawbacks. Ethics, on the other hand, is likely to be hit in a detrimental way as our valuable moral standards tend to be destroyed. Therefore, we have to be vigilant to prohibit technology from controlling every aspect of our life.这个结论也没有切题

dezhiUID: 156141

最大的问题是没有明确的给出论点,并且有跑题嫌疑.
文章读起来并不太通顺,虽然没啥语法错误,也用了不少词.注意,并不是句子越长越好
另外,希望段落的组织更加清晰一些,开头点明段落中心并围绕中心展开论证

总体来说写得不错,继续努力,也希望你多给其他人看看作文 :D

gototeresaUID: 174496

谢谢dezhi，,对我启发很大。。。回头看看，是写得不怎么清楚。对了，也不知怎的，我就习惯把很多意思都揉在一个句子里，然后自己都会看昏掉。。。哎。。。
我会帮其他人看作文的。。。大家互相帮忙啊