Issue13 Globalization 第3篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

xiaoheUID: 162707

在版上这么多勤奋G友的鼓舞下，总算痛苦的写出了我的第三篇习作，只求比前两篇有一些进步。
大家一定要提供帮助啊！

------题目------
Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.
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In a world of fast development and rapid globalization, language, as a media of communication, plays a very important role in all aspects of international issues as well as domestic issues. Some people argue that it’s better for people to use the same language rather than different languages in international issues. They also believe that the tendency of simplification inevitably causes some languages to become more prevailing, while some others become less and less popular and eventually become extinct. And the governments of countries with lesser-known languages can do nothing and should do nothing to prevent the extinction. While in my point of view, the governments should and could try their best to keep their own language alive.

Speaking the same language doesn’t necessary mean that people have to choose one out of many and discard the rest. People can master more than one language and use the right one in right situation, which is long considered as a natural talent of human beings. In fact, nowadays, there are more and more bilinguals and multi-linguals in every country around the world. Some statistics show that in the US, besides speaking English, more than 10% residents also speak Spanish, more than 1% speak Chinese. In some European countries, such as Holland, Norway, most people can speak more than one foreign language. This phenomenon doubtlessly helps the smooth international communication without any language having to become extinct.

What’s more, a language, besides being a media of communication, is also a media and a representative of a unique branch of human civilization, which absolutely cannot be substituted. Civilization is the accumulated essence in the course of human history which gives us important information of development into future, and is a priceless treasure to all humankind. But if the language becomes extinct, the civilization it represents would inevitably be buried in the history and may never be decoded and understood again.

There was once a Xixia Dynasty in ancient China's history, which collapsed after about a hundred years' reign. They had their special language and special characters, which they used in every written material. Unfortunately, the language was no longer used ever since the collapse. As a result, the economic and social conditions and everything else during that period of time in that region became a mystery to the decedents until recently some researchers began to understand their characters after very hard work. What a loss it was!

But why do some languages become less known? On the one hand, they can’t attract many foreigners to learn their language. On the other hand, they are losing native speakers. After some deeper analysis, we have no difficulty in understanding the reason: the nation isn’t strong enough to support its own residents, not to mention attracting foreigners to come, either due to endless wars and fights, backward economics, or isolated attitude toward to outer world. Thus, it is the government’s duty to keep a peaceful and open society, to build a strong economy and to participate into the international communication actively to prevent their language from extinction as well as other threats.
       
Also, the government should take some measures specifically on language, even before the languages become lesser-known, such as enforcing native language learning in all schools, advocating the folk arts like operas, songs and legends performed in native languages, cultivating native linguists to research and uncover the boundless charms of their own language, and host multi-cultural exchange.

All in all, language is just like the blood of a nation, which belongs to a unique civilization. Every government should work really hard to prevent its own language from extinction, and even make it more popular so that the civilization it represents could become more prosperous and be appreciated by all humankind.

foreverlovesUID: 166930

思路很清晰
第一段是不是长了些？？（个人意见）

mack1983UID: 183345

------题目------
Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.
------正文------

In a world of fast development and rapid globalization, language, as a media mediumof communication, plays a very important role in all aspects of international issues as well as domestic issues想这句话我觉得没有必要，开头还是要直接进入论题. Some people argue that it’s better for people to use the same language rather than different languages in international issues. They also believe that the tendency of simplification这个词没用好，unification可以 inevitably causes some languages to become more prevailing, while some others become less and less popular and eventually becomebecome去掉 extinct. And the governments of countries with lesser-known languages can do nothing and should do nothing to prevent the extinction. While in my point of view, the governments should and could try their best to keep their own language alive.
我觉得你的开头好似太长了

Speaking the same language doesn’t necessary mean that people have to choose one out of many and discard the rest. People can master more than one language and use the right one in right situation, which is long considered as a natural talent of human beings没太读懂这句话. In fact, nowadays, there are more and more bilinguals and multi-lingual in every country around the world. Some statistics show that in the US, besides speaking去掉speaking English, more than 10%考试的时候应该没有百分号可用，还是用percent好 residents also speak Spanish, more than 1% speak Chinese. In some European countries, such as Holland, Norway, most people can speak more than one foreign language. This phenomenon doubtlessly貌似没有doubelessly这个词，用undoubtedly好了 helps the smooth international communication without any language having to become extinct.
这段话想要论证的东西我没太看明白，如果就从你的总论点来看的话，这段应该是对你的总论点没有什么贡献；并且，你的开始几句说的是在一些国家人们可以说两种或是多种语言，但是，这同政府应该保护那些即将灭绝的语言有什么关系呢？然后，你举了个西班牙文和中文的例子，但实际上，这两种语言还远远谈不上绝种啊

What’s more, a language, besides being a media of communication, is also a media and a representative of a unique branch of human civilization, which absolutely cannot be substituted. Civilization is the accumulated essence in the course of human history which gives us important information of development into future读晕了，呵呵, and is a priceless treasure to all humankind. But if the language becomes extinct, the civilization it represents would inevitably be buried in the history and may never be decoded and understood again.
这段论点我很喜欢，特别是is also a media and a representative of a unique branch of human civilization, which absolutely cannot be substituted这句，我觉得我写不出来的，呵呵，好好吸收一下

There was once a Xixia Dynasty in ancient China's history, which collapsed after about a hundred years' reign. They had their special language and special characters, which they used in every written material. Unfortunately, the language was no longer used ever since the collapse. As a result, the economic and social conditions and everythinganything else during that period of time in that region became a mystery to the decedents汗。。。是descendant吧，怎么是死者呢 until recently some researchers began to understand their characters after very hard work. What a loss it was!
实际上，究竟是什么loss你没有讲清。而且，这个例子面太宽，应该紧紧抓住language这个东东写，重点论述language没了后，有什么重大影响云云

But why do some languages become less known? On the one hand, they can’t attract many foreigners to learn their language. On the other hand, they are losing native speakers. After some deeper analysis, we have no difficulty in understanding the reason: the nation isn’t strong enough to support its own residents, not to mention attracting foreigners to come, either due to endless wars and fights, backward economicseconomy, or isolated attitude toward toto the outer world. Thus, it is the government’s duty to keep a peaceful and open society, to build a strong economy and to participate into去掉into the international communication actively to prevent their language from extinction as well as other threats.
我觉得，你前几段的论述都可以归结为本段论述的小点，这样逻辑比较清楚

Also, the government should take some measures specifically on language, even before the languages become lesser-known, such as enforcing native language learning in all schools, advocating the folk arts like operas, songs and legends performed in native languages, cultivating native linguists to research and uncover the boundless charms of their own language, and host multi-cultural exchange.

All in all, language is just like the blood of a nation, which belongs to a unique civilization. Every government should work really hard to prevent its own language from extinction, and even make it more popular so that the civilization it represents could become more prosperous and be appreciated by all humankind.
优点：语言不错
缺点：逻辑上或者说思维上有些混乱，特别是读到第五段的时候，我感觉有个思维跳跃，这个问题我认为是你在前面几段进行论述的时候，只是说明了语言多么重要之类，但丝毫未提所以应该政府要保护语言；
而且，到了第五段，先是说到了为什么会绝种，然后只在最后一句说因此政府应该保护，人家题目就是要你回答要不要保护的问题，结果整篇文章就只在一段中出现了你的观点。

其实，我觉得整体结构是有了，只是在细节上的处理问题，例如，在写每一个分论点时，就应该在开头明确指出：因为。。。。所以我们因该保护语言。这样的话，层次也会比较分明的。

个人意见，欢迎讨论。

xiaoheUID: 162707

谢谢宝贵意见，我会认真思考，好好改进。