argument240 开头结尾简略版，大家看看这样行不？

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

Argument240  第3篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

我觉得用那么多时间写套句，还不如充实一下每个body呢
大家批吧！

------题目------
The following appeared in a memo written by a dean at Buckingham College.
'To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a new dormitory. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, should double over the next fifty years, thus making existing dormitories inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has increased in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, an attractive new dormitory would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham.'
------正文------

The argument is unconvincing for several critical fallacies and insufficiency of evidence.

In the first place, no evidence supports the assumption that the current dormitories are not enough. First, the current trend of increase on enrollment might not last for long time. Perhaps, the trend is just a temporary phenomenon resulted from a baby boom twenty years ago. Another reason might come from a short-time policy of decreasing enrollment number in other colleges. In these cases, it is probable that after several years, when the influence of baby boom disappear or other college enroll more students again, the increasing trends would stop. Second, nothing about the current capability of the dormitory is given in the argument. Possibly, the current dormitories have been able to satisfy the double need after fifty years. Even if current dormitories might be inadequate after ten years based on the trends, many things uncertain would happen during the ten years and make the prediction useless.

In the second place, we cannot conclude that fewer students would be able to afford the increasing rent based on the evidence provided. Perhaps the increasing rent is resulted from an increase on people's income. In this case, students can still afford to live off-campus because of the increasing salary of part-time jobs. In addition, if the college provide more fellowship for students, the increase of rent might also acceptable. Another possibility is that the houses off-campus are more comfortable than before. For example, many electronic devices are equipped, which leads to the increase on rent. Possibly, students would prefer a better environment despite of the high costs.

Finally, the assumption that more prospective students will be attracted by the new dormitory is groundless. When choosing a college, the first thing students have to consider might be the reputation and professors of the college rather than the dormitories, which are only a minor factor influencing their decisions. On the other hand, if the majority of the limited fund was spent on construction of new dormitories, less money would be left for the improvement of experimental apparatus or employment of new professor, which might be students’ real concerns. In this case, possibly, less prospective students will be attracted.

Therefore, a rush decision on the dormitory project without careful consideration might put the college into an economic depression, even undermine the fame in future.

DendisUID: 158017

论证还不错，只是还稍微需要清晰一点，感觉开头不是舒服，要么就直接和不b1直接连在一起，单独一句没有什么意思，而且说服力似乎也不怎么样……

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

谢谢！看来我的第一段还是再多写两句吧

ZHGsunnyUID: 185312

同意Dendis的说法，我觉得你的开头和结尾有些单薄，摸板虽然不能滥用，但也不能一点也不用。正文段落的思路很新颖，这篇我也写了（我的第一篇GRE作文，也发到作文互动区了），你的许多思路都是我没有想到了。我也是新手，大家多交流哟！

RikkuUID: 170558

呵呵，不知道老美觉得怎么样

我觉得很好，没那么多废话

但是话说回来，用传统的思维来看，我考的时候绝对不敢这么写

你自己再真做一下

不怕开水烫的猪UID: 187893

其实我觉得按模版写一点意义没有。
读者没时间看你重申观点，他还不如看上面的题目呢，又全面又没语病

如果如考试的时候需要我选择的话

一种引人注意的开头 > 这种一句话的开头 > 重申观点

但是在有限时间做到第一个，确实很难。

slsUID: 175311

你的理由好多呀 羡慕ing～～～