Issue30 请多指教！共同进步

coolblazeverestUID: 189260

Issue30
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The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time.
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In the argument above, the argument asserts that the primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency, then everyone can have more spare time through the promotion of technological advancement, while I agree with the opinion that in order to increase people's efficiency may be the promoting force to the innovation of technology, but actually I do not believe that everyone has more leisure time from that.
Tracing back to the ancient time of our forebear, they were in a food-deficient and materials lacking conditions. Most of them had little knowledge and spare time to think about other things except for picking fruits, hunting animals, collecting materials and so forth. Although they worked and tried hard all the time, they still could not fill their stomachs and endured the hunger and coldness all the life. As the time went by, one or more of them who had outstanding intelligence and inspirations caught some hard and stable fossils and installed them with sticks after shaping them. They may be the first individuals who created useful tools and made progress to the former tools which were picked in the wildness. The little advancement of them increased the efficiency of hunting and enforced the strength of them. Maybe that is the most primary progress of technology and the goal of them was simply: hunting and collecting easily. However the advancement of their technology was not aim at having more time to relax and they also needed to try hard to survive.
The huge achievement of our human being towards technological advancement occurred not very long form our time. The big advancement of us was shown in numerous aspects: we innovated stream-machine which promoted the industrial revolution; we made the first computer ENIAC which could calculate much faster than the most intelligent person in the world; we innovated elevator which can lift surprisingly weighty goods for us. Although all the innovations accounts for the increasing of people's efficiency, none of the inventers were aiming at providing more leisure time for people. If one does not see it form the concrete examples such as I inferred above, one could deduce it form general principles. It is obviously clear that the inventors of the technological advancement are usually the ones who have high intelligence and have sufficient finance for support, so they are generally the managers or the owners of an entity. Therefore the only goal of them is to make more money and gain more profits for them. The effective ways of it are elongation the working time of the workers and innovation new technologies which can promote the efficient of the workers, so we can confirm that the primary goal of them to technological advancement is never related with giving more leisure time to the workers. We do not have to look very far to see the validity to the eight hours working regulation, the right of the workers is not gained through the willingness of the factory owners but through the struggle of the workers themselves. Although technological advancement also took effort to the leisure time of the workers, it is not the primary goal of the advancement, and maybe the byproduct of it, at best.
To sum up, no matter in the ancient time of our forebears or the modern time of the intelligent innovators, to increase people's efficiency is the primary goal of technological advancement. Nevertheless, in the long time of human history river, there is little evidence to prove that the advancement of technology is aiming at providing more leisure time for ordinary people.

花之颜色UID: 187195

In the argument above, the argumentarguer asserts that the primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency, then everyone can have more spare time through the promotion of technological advancement, while I agree with the opinion that in order to increase people's efficiency may be the promoting force to the innovation of technology, but actually I do not believe that everyone has more leisure time from that.
Tracing back to the ancient time of our forebear, they were in a food-deficient and materials lacking conditions. Most of them had little knowledge and spare time to think about other things except for picking fruits, hunting animals, collecting materials and so forth. Although they worked and tried hard all the time, they still could not fill their stomachs and enduredhave to endure the hunger and coldness all the life. As the time went by, one or more of them who had outstanding intelligence and inspirations caught some hard and stable fossils and installed them with sticks after shaping them. They may be the first individuals who created useful tools and made progress to the former tools which were picked in the wildness. The little advancement of them increased the efficiency of hunting and enforced the strength of them. Maybe that is the most primary progress of technology and the goal of them用了很多啊,都指代谁啊 was simply: hunting and collecting easily. However, the advancement of their technology was not aim at having more time to relax and they also needed to try hard to survive改成but surviving.
The huge achievement of our human beings towards technological advancement occurred not very long form our time. The big advancement of us was shown in numerous aspects: we innovated stream-machine which promoted the industrial revolution; we made the first computer ENIAC which could calculate much faster than the most intelligent person in the world; we innovated换个词好不好 elevator which can lift surprisingly weighty goods for us. Although all the innovations accounts for the increasing of people's efficiency, none of the inventers were aiming at providing more leisure time for people. If one does not see it form the concrete examples such as I inferred above, one could deduce it form general principles. It is obviously clear that the inventors of the technological advancement are usually the ones who have high intelligence and have sufficient finance for support, so they are generally the managers or the owners of an entity. Therefore the only goal of them is to make more money and gain more profits for them. The effective ways of it are elongation the working time of the workers and innovation new technologies which can promote the efficient of the workers, so we can confirm that the primary goal of them to technological advancement is never related with giving more leisure time to the workers. We do not have to look very far to see the validity to the eight hours working regulation, the right of the workers is not gained through the willingness of the factory owners but through the struggle of the workers themselves. Although technological advancement also took effort to the leisure time of the workers, it is not the primary goal of the advancement, and maybe the byproduct of it, at best.
To sum up, no matter in the ancient time of our forebears or the modern time of the intelligent innovators, to increase people's efficiency is the primary goal of technological advancement. Nevertheless, in the long time of human history river, there is little evidence to prove that the advancement of technology is aiming at providing more leisure time for ordinary people.
语法错误不少,用词和行文不是很流畅,但论证还可以,不过,你承认科技革新目的是增加效率而不是为了增加时间,可以这样立论么？题目好象是说目的增加效率结果导致闲暇时间增加，增加闲暇时间似乎是结果而不是目的吧？大家再讨论～

coolblazeverestUID: 189260

非常中肯，谢谢提示！但就立论来讲，我认为issue是对有争议的部分讨论，但前半部分争议性不大，就后半部分我给的是全否的结论，不知是不是合适，个人意见，欢迎讨论！

wuwei2668UID: 189816

我觉得你这篇文章并不是全否的，是部分否定，后面你的论据还可以在充分点，加上具体的论述科技发展如何没有增加leisure timed的具体情况，比如人们的生活节奏加快了，各种职业病越来越多都是过劳引起的，等等