issue 150 传媒类 非常希望得到大家的意见和指教，谢谢:)

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

150."Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become obsolete."

1.电视和网络有很大的局限性，是被动的过程。
2.旅游是一种个人亲自经历的体验，有诸多好处。
3.不可否认，电视和网络还有其优越性。
Television and internet, two of the most significant technological contributions, have become parts of our daily life. They expand our senses, meanwhile afford us a dramatic world, at times have more substantial effects. However, television and internet, in my opinion, cannot substitute tourism.

Visiting different is a voluntary action, while watching television and surfing on the internet are a passive process. Long-time watching television, during which people "visit" different places, enable people to gain indolence. Experts point out that television makes people fail to think. Because television is so direct to spread information that those, who usually huddle in sofa before TV, may accept what they watch without thinking. Furthermore, television as a public media is selective, which means the programs on TV are filtrated and edited by someone of the television station. In this case, people are not able to watch whatever they want or need. As for the internet, it is impossible for every famous scenic spot to have a website. Thus, people may not acquire enough information about a particular scenic spot they are interested in. In a word, tourism is the best and most direct way to become familiar different places.

For tourists the main point of tourism is to experience various places by every sense themselves. During a tour, visitors may have a concrete cognition of a particular place, including some details such as the history, customs, culture and so on. In addition, tourists can take pictures with what interest them or screen what they see with a video camera. When they come home, they can make a short movie with the video as a memory of a tour. Moreover, tourism is a means of relaxation. For example, when people have a tour in some natural places such as countrysides, lakes, mountains, forests far away from the cities, they can relieve from tiresome and enjoy the beautiful scenes of the nature, also the fresh air there is benefit for their health. Last but not least, what is inaccessible for television and internet during a tour is that tourists can communicate with the local people, from which they will have a fundamental impression of the place.

Admittedly, television and internet provide us vivid images and videos of world-famous scenic spots. Limited to some reasons and conditions, people cannot visit wherever they want to. Take the South Pole as an example, though it is a highly attractive place, it is too cold for us to visit. Therefore, we can "visit" the South Pole only on TV and usually television presents us a lot of documentaries ranging from science to art, which include every field of our life. Moreover, the internet provides us numerous pictures and videos of a variety of places by which people can attain some useful knowledge before taking a tour. For instance, if someone, who is in the northern hemisphere want to visit Australia, a country in the southern hemisphere, it is wiser for him to search some detailed information such as the weather in Australia, because people there have the opposite climate to his.

In sum, Tourism do have some dominant merits over television and internet. Actually, television and internet cannot replace tourism, indeed, they function as a accessory for tourism.

非常希望得到大家的意见和批改，这是我写第一篇传媒类文章，不知道效果如何，谢谢~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

28号就要考了，希望大家给点意见，谢谢~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

是不是大家不关注传媒类呢？希望大家能够给些意见，谢谢~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

大家给点意见吧，谢谢~~~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

2月28号就要考了，现在每天上新东方，时间很紧张，真的希望大家给点意见，谢谢~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

沉了好久，祝大家新年快乐，鸡年大吉，希望能够给我点意见，谢谢~~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

沉了好久，祝大家新年快乐，鸡年大吉，希望能够给我点意见，谢谢~~~

nightsky2004UID: 155946

我接了，等会呀。春节快乐

nightsky2004UID: 155946

Television and internet, two of the most significant technological contributions, have become parts of our daily life. They expand our senses, meanwhile afford us a dramatic world, at times have more substantial effects. However, television and internet, in my opinion, cannot substitute tourism.
首段说明了自己的观点（disagree），但是显得绕了一些，不过似乎没有大碍
Visiting different places is a voluntary action, while watching television and surfing on the internet are a passive process.本段的观点是旅游是主动的过程，而看电视和上网是被动的过程，一定吗？至少没有人强迫你上网吧 Long-time watching television, during which people "visit" different places, enable people to gain indolence. Experts point out that television makes people fail to think. Because television is so direct to spread information that those, who usually huddle in sofa before TV, may accept what they watch without thinking.话是不错，但是我感觉有些离题了，如果这样的话，旅游岂不是成为了一种替代看电视的方法，而且电视对人好坏似乎也不是题目关心的 Furthermore, television as a public media is selective, which means the programs on TV are filtrated and edited by someone of the television station.把电视手段局限了，据我所知，目前正在极力发展那种可以点播的频道。如果上述情况不再是问题，是不是就可以说电视就可以替代旅游呢？ In this case, people are not able to watch whatever they want or need. As for the internet, it is impossible for every famous scenic spot to have a website.这句话有些别扭，改为it is impossible to build a website that contain every famous scenic spot是不是好点呢？ Thus, people may not acquire enough information about a particular scenic spot they are interested in. In a word, tourism is the best and most direct way to become familiar different places.
本段还是围绕着主题句来展开的，这一点不错，但是论述得有些偏题（就电视来说），因为说得都是电视的危害及其局限，而对于电视和旅游的根本优劣还是没有说清楚，如果电视没有危害且可以选择（这些是有可能实现的），是不是就可以选择电视呢？就你的论述来说，我可以提出这样的问题
For tourists the main point of tourism is to experience various places by every sense这个every sense是不是可以去掉呢？显得重复了 themselves.这句是你的thesis了，那么下面要围绕着主题展开了 During a tour, visitors may have a concrete cognition of a particular place, including some details such as the history, customs, culture and so on. In addition, tourists can take pictures with what interest them or screen what they see with a video camera.这话有问题，改成这样tourists can take pictures in which they interest with camera or video camera，是否好点呢？ When they come home, they can make a short movie with the video as a memory of a tour. Moreover, tourism is a means of relaxation. For example, when people have a tour in some natural places such as countrysides, lakes, mountains, forests far away from the cities, they can relieve from tiresome and enjoy the beautiful scenes of the nature, also the fresh air there is benefit for their health. Last but not least, what is inaccessible for television and internet during a tour is that tourists can communicate with the local people,改改似乎较好，原话有点别扭且意思不够明确compare to television and internet, tourism has an advantage that tourists can face to face communicate with the local people  from which they will have a fundamental impression of the place.
本段论述得较好，写得是旅游可以带来一种firsthand experience
Admittedly, television and internet provide us vivid images and videos of world-famous scenic spots. Limited to some reasons and conditions, people cannot visit wherever they want to. Take the South Pole as an example, though it is a highly attractive place, it is too cold for us to visit. Therefore, we can "visit" the South Pole only on TV and usually television presents us a lot of documentaries ranging from science to art, which include every field of our life. Moreover, the internet provides us numerous pictures and videos of a variety of places by which people can attain some useful knowledge before taking a tour. For instance, if someone, who is in the northern hemisphere want to visit Australia, a country in the southern hemisphere,解释得多了点，读者也是有些基本知识的 it is wiser for him to search some detailed information such as the weather in Australia, because people there have the opposite climate to his.段尾没有总结
本段让步，说得是电视和互联网对于旅游的好处，它们也可以促进旅游，作者也可以在这些地方写写
In sum, Tourism do have some dominant merits over television and internet. Actually, television and internet cannot replace tourism, indeed, they function as a accessory for tourism.
搂主的思路还是挺清楚的，和syllabus上的一样，论述的主题段落分为两反一正，语言基本无误，就是论述部分的第一段说得有些问题，使得别人（譬如说我）就有机可趁，最好再改改。个人意见，仅供参考，如有不妥，请见谅

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

非常感谢nightsky2004的意见，我已经记下了，要好好研究一下：）