ARGUMENT25 多多的板砖砸下来^_^

冥界星灿UID: 184746

25The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.

"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."


When suggesting the best way to improve Hopewell's economy and generate additional tax revenues is to bulid a golf course and resort hotel, the author provides a seemingly persuasive example of a town named Ocean View whose economy increase after doing so. Taking a close analysis to the article, however, we could find both the example dilivered and the line of reasoning actually suffering from a series critical fallacies, which eventually lead to the untenable of the proposition.

To begin with, the increse and rise in economy which present themselves in tourism, commercial, tax revenues happened after the opening of the golf course and resort hotel may not be the result of it. The encouraging reasult in economy may be due to the increasing emphasis of the government, and many other facilities and policies taking into function. And the golf course and resort hotel, however, may be a small part of facilities and the function of them is no doubly open to doubt. On the other hand, a two-years increase in the economy of the town is not represent the golf course and the resort hotel works well. It is entirely possible that not only the Ocean View but all areas of the country's economy is on the rise. Moreover, it is also possible that the tourism gains increasing popular all ovver the world and thus even if the town keeped as it is tow years ago, it will experience the rising of the economy. As the case stands, this assumption is open to doubt.

Further more, even assuming the increasing of the Ocean View's economy is owning to the buliding of the golf course and the resort building, it is presumptious to concluded the Hopewell will gain the same benefits by doing so. All suggestions delived should depend on a case-by-case basis. The circumstances, such as the location, the sence, the transfation, the culture and so forth are various between the two towns. The Ocean View may be fascinating for its natural environment, whereas the Hopewell may be a town whose economy increase mainly depened on the industry. Even more, the time changes and the fashion golf plays appealing during the past two years may on the decline. In this circumstance, however, it is obviously impossible gain much benefits by opening a fashion out-of -date.

Even more, supposed the building of the golf course and the resort hotal are feasible to improve the Hopewell's economy and tourism, the statements of both it is the best way to attain the goal and to build this tow kind of facilities similar to the Ocean View are open to doubt. In the first place, the author did not prove any evidence and reason to prove other ways to improve economy and generate tax revenues is inferior to just build a golf course and resort hotel. In the second place, both the golf course and the hotel has many kinds of styles. Perhaps the style in Ocean View receives the accolade it deserves, but you cannot propose the style is either the best one or suitable fashion according to Hopewell. As the analysis dilevered above, we could safely draw the conclusion that the process of the reasoning is inconvincible.

All that can be conclude by assembling the evidence and reasons provided by the author is that the statements is not eloquent as it stands. To further support the conclusion, the author must deliver convincing examples and reason logically in an appropriate manner.

louchen1984UID: 172975

When suggesting the best way to improve Hopewell's economy and generate additional tax revenues is to bulid a golf course and resort hotel, the author provides a seemingly persuasive example of a town named Ocean View whose economy increase after doing so.首句写的不错 Taking a close analysis to the article, however, we could find both the example dilivereddelivered and the line of reasoning actually suffering sufferfrom a series ofcritical fallacies, which eventually lead to the untenable of the proposition.拜托先用word检验一下啊

To begin with, the increse and rise in economy which present themselves直接用represented更好些 in tourism, commercial, tax revenues happened after the opening of the golf course and resort hotel may not be the result of it. The encouraging reasult in economy may be due to the increasing emphasis of the government, and many other facilities and policies takingtaken into function. AndWhile the golf course and resort hotel, however, may be a small part of facilities and the function of them is no doubly open to doubt.这句不通，主谓宾不对 On the other hand, a two-years two-yearincrease in the economy of the town is not represent representative ofthe golf course and the resort hotel works well. It is entirely possible that not only the Ocean View but all areas of the country's economy is on the rise. Moreover, it is also possible that the tourism gains increasing popular all ovver汗，我就不说什么了,别人看了就怒了 the world and thus even if the town keeped as it is tow years ago, it will experience the rising of the economy. As the case stands, this assumption is open to doubt.

Further more, even assuming the increasing of the Ocean View's economy is owning to the buliding of the golf course and the resort building, it is presumptious to concludedconclude that the Hopewell will gain the same benefits by doing so. All suggestions delived 又是一个should depend on a case-by-case basis. The circumstances, such as the location, the sence, the transfation, the culture and so forth are various between the two towns. The Ocean View may be fascinating for because ofits natural environment, whereas the Hopewell may be a town whose economy increase mainly depened on the industry. Even more, the time changes and the fashion golf plays appealing during the past two years may on the decline. In this circumstance, however, it is obviously impossible togain much benefits by opening a fashion out-of -date.

Even more, supposed the building of the golf course and the resort hotal are feasible to improve the Hopewell's economy and tourism, the statements of both it is the best way to attain the goal and to build this tow kind of facilities similar to the Ocean View are open to doubt. In the first place, the author did not prove any evidence and reason to省了 prove thatother ways to improve economy and generate tax revenues is inferior to just build a golf course and resort hotel. In the second place, both the golf course and the hotel has havemany kinds of styles. Perhaps the style in Ocean View receives the accolade it deserves, but you cannot proposesuppose that the style is either the best one or suitable fashion according to Hopewellfor Hopewell就行了. As the analysis dilevered above, we could safely draw the conclusion that the process of the reasoning is inconvincible.可以进一步论证一下为什么不一定能提高税收

All that can be conclude by assembling the evidence and reasons provided by the author is that the statements is not eloquent as it stands. To further support the conclusion, the author must deliver convincing examples and reason logically in an appropriate manner.归纳的具体一点，把前面的123总结一下比较好

冥界星灿UID: 184746

感谢楼主的认真修改！

其实我是查了word的, 可能一些拼写是查的时候太仓卒了，急着出去，抱歉了

我的语法错误就是很多，最近已经严重暴露。我正把前几篇大家改的分类，以后有意识注意一下，争取到考试时不犯（好像有点痴人说梦的感觉^_^）

万分感谢！！！

genie05UID: 30358

呼,你的文章真难找啊~~
POOH说献KISS该有你的.晚上偶来看..先UP下~~:)

冥界星灿UID: 184746

抱歉抱歉，写得太少了^_^

其实这几天感觉写到瓶颈似的，而且写出来都和大家的集体模板一样，自己看了都恶心，所以语言关虽然还没太过，想想还是先把自己的模板造出来。

我这个人比较喜欢剑走偏锋（没办法，中国人多，自己水平又极有限，被逼无奈），希望几天后可以给大家稍微新鲜一点的感受^_^

这篇文章原来语法错的很多，G猫改后的修正版我一会发上来，要不工作量太大啦哈哈。

其实这基本是我ARGUMENT的模板，所以，所以，希望它越来越完善，有劳尊驾了^_^

感谢！！！

冥界星灿UID: 184746

25The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.

"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."




When suggesting the best way to improve Hopewell's economy and generate additional tax revenues is to bulid a golf course and resort hotel, the author provides a seemingly persuasive example of a town named Ocean View whose economy increase after doing so. Taking a close analysis to the article, however, we could find both the example delivered and the line of reasoning actually suffer from a series of critical fallacies, which eventually lead to the untenable of the proposition.

To begin with, the increase and rise in economy represented in tourism, commercial, tax revenues happened after the opening of the golf course and resort hotel may not be the result of it. The encouraging reasult[outcoming] in economy may be due to the increasing emphasis of the government, and many other facilities and policies taken into function. AndWhile the golf course and resort hotel, however, may be a small part of facilities and the function of them is no doubly open to doubt. On the other hand, a two-year increase in the economy of the town cannot reprsent that the golf course and the resort hotel works well. It is entirely possible that not only the Ocean View but all areas of the country's economy is on the rise. Moreover, it is also possible that the tourism gains increasing popular all over the world and thus even if the town keeped as it is tow years ago, it will experience the rising of the economy. As the case stands, this assumption is open to doubt.

Further more, even assuming the increasing of the Ocean View's economy is owning to the buliding of the golf course and the resort building, it is presumptious to concludedconclude that the Hopewell will gain the same benefits by doing so. All suggestions delivered should depend on a case-by-case basis. The circumstances, such as the location, the sence, the transfation, the culture and so forth are various between the two towns. The Ocean View may be fascinating for because ofits natural environment, whereas the Hopewell may be a town whose economy increase mainly depened on the industry. Even more, the time changes and the fashion golf plays appealing during the past two years may on the decline. In this circumstance, however, it is obviously impossible togain much benefits by opening a fashion out-of -date.

Even more, supposed the building of the golf course and the resort hotal are feasible to improve the Hopewell's economy and tourism, the statements of both it is the best way to attain the goal and to build this tow kind of facilities similar to the Ocean View are open to doubt. In the first place, the author did not prove that other ways to improve economy and generate tax revenues is inferior to just build a golf course and resort hotel. In the second place, both the golf course and the hotel have many kinds of styles. Perhaps the style in Ocean View receives the accolade it deserves, but you cannot suppose that the style is either the best one or suitable fashion for Hopewell. As the analysis dilevered above, we could safely draw the conclusion that the process of the reasoning is inconvincible.

All that can be conclude by assembling the evidence and reasons provided by the author is that the statements is not eloquent as it stands. To further support the conclusion, the author must deliver convincing examples and reason logically in an appropriate manner.

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

占座先，呵呵，晚上答复，呵呵：）

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

25The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.

"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."


When suggesting the best way to improve Hopewell's economy and generate additional tax revenues is to bulid a golf course and resort hotel, the author provides a seemingly persuasive example of a town named Ocean View whose economy increase after doing so. Taking a close analysis to the article, however, we could find both the example delivered and the line of reasoning actually suffer from a series of critical fallacies, which eventually lead to the untenable of the proposition.

To begin with, the increase and rise in economy represented in tourism, commercial, tax revenues happened after the opening of the golf course and resort hotel may not be the result of it.（我觉得用A does not cause B比较好） The encouraging reasult[outcoming] in economy may be due to the increasing emphasis of the government, and many other facilities and policies（最好可以具体一些，比如减少对golf course and the resort hotel的税收，鼓励它发展等等） taken into function. AndWhile the golf course and resort hotel, however, may be a small part of facilities and the function of them is no doubly open to doubt. （On the other hand, a two-year increase in the economy of the town cannot reprsent that the golf course and the resort hotel works well. It is entirely possible that not only the Ocean View but all areas of the country's economy is on the rise. 我理解你的意思，但是你并没有表达清楚，应该说也许全国经济都在上升，Ocean View的经济发展并不仅仅是因为修建了golf course and the resort hotel有可能有其他原因：改善了城市环境，较低了住宿费用等，以此来吸引更多的游客）Moreover, it is also possible that the tourism gains increasing popular all over the world and thus even if the town keeped as it is tow years ago, it will experience the rising of the economy. As the case stands, this assumption is open to doubt.

Further more, even assuming the increasing of the Ocean View's economy is owning to the buliding of the golf course and the resort building, it is presumptious to concludedconclude that the Hopewell will gain the same benefits by doing so. All suggestions delivered should depend on a case-by-case basis. The circumstances, such as the location, the sence, the transfation, the culture and so forth are various between the two towns. The Ocean View may be fascinating for because ofits natural environment, whereas the Hopewell may be a town whose economy increase mainly depened on the industry. Even more, the time changes and the fashion golf plays appealing during the past two years may on the decline. In this circumstance, however, it is obviously impossible togain much benefits by opening a fashion out-of -date. （最好conclude一下，感觉没有说完整）

Even more, supposed the building of the golf course and the resort hotal are feasible to improve the Hopewell's economy and tourism, the statements of both it is the best way to attain the goal and to build this tow kind of facilities similar to the Ocean View are open to doubt. In the first place, the author did not prove that other ways to improve economy and generate tax revenues is inferior to just build a golf course and resort hotel.（建议举一个例子，比如在Hopewell也许修建工厂会更好） In the second place, both the golf course and the hotel have many kinds of styles. Perhaps the style in Ocean View receives the accolade it deserves, but you cannot suppose that the style is either the best one or suitable fashion for Hopewell. As the analysis dilevered above, we could safely draw the conclusion that the process of the reasoning is inconvincible.

All that can be conclude by assembling the evidence and reasons provided by the author is that the statements is not eloquent as it stands. To further support the conclusion, the author must deliver convincing examples and reason logically in an appropriate manner.
（终于找到你的文章啦，呵呵，你帮我改的那么仔细，我怎能不回拍，建议把拼写错误先自己纠正，呵呵，攻击的时候举的例子再多一些，加油~~~）

冥界星灿UID: 184746

感谢nickaaronlee！^_^

改的很好，思路很清晰！记下了！

感觉你很讲义气的说。知道吗？我和你一天考的啊，只是不在同一个城市。那么，那天我会在北京祝福你^_^

共同努力！！！

再次感谢！！！

冥界星灿UID: 184746

这几天写得太少了，害大家找不到我的习作，抱歉了。

想拍砖的，先攒一下，过几天冥界会尽量满足大家打我的愿望^_^

genie05UID: 30358

抱歉，昨天忘了贴上来了



25The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.

"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."




When suggesting the best way to improve Hopewell's economy and generate additional tax revenues is to bulid a golf course and resort hotel, the author provides a seemingly persuasive example of a town named Ocean View whose economy increase after doing so. Taking a close analysis to the article, however, we could find both the example delivered and the line of reasoning actually suffer from a series of critical fallacies, which eventually lead to the untenable of the proposition.（开头太罗嗦，一句点明主旨即可，建议参看imong关于argument开头的文章。https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=134092
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=199905）

To begin with, the increase and rise in economy represented in tourism, commercial, tax revenues happened after the opening of the golf course and resort hotel may not be the result of it.（头重脚轻的感觉，建议变换一下次序） The encouraging reasult[outcoming] in economy may be due to the increasing emphasis of the government, and many other facilities and policies taken into function. AndWhile the golf course and resort hotel, however, may be a small part of facilities and the function of them is no doubly open to doubt. On the other hand, a two-year increase in the economy of the town cannot reprsent that the golf course and the resort hotel works well. It is entirely （建议少用绝对化的词） possible that not only the Ocean View but all areas of the country's economy is on the rise. Moreover, it is also possible that the tourism gains increasing popular all over the world and thus even if the town keeped as it is tow years ago, it will experience the rising of the economy. As the case stands, this assumption is open to doubt.（貌似围绕一点攻击，但并不深入，应该直接点明其他可能造成经济上升的可能性，语句太散，缺乏力度）

Further more, even assuming （even if） the increasing of the Ocean View's economy is owning to the buliding of the golf course and the resort building, it is presumptious to concludedconclude that the Hopewell will gain the same benefits by doing so. All suggestions delivered should depend on a case-by-case basis. The circumstances, such as the location, the sence, the transfation, the culture and so forth are various between the two towns. （又现模版语句，具体一些，再具体一些）The Ocean View may be fascinating for because ofits natural environment, whereas the Hopewell may be a town whose economy increase mainly depened on the industry. Even more,（换词） the time changes and the fashion golf plays appealing during the past two years may on the decline. In this circumstance, however, it is obviously impossible togain much benefits by opening a fashion out-of -date.

Even more,(这个短语……你斟酌一下) supposed the building of the golf course and the resort hotal are feasible to improve the Hopewell's economy and tourism, the statements of both it is the best way to attain the goal and to build this tow kind of facilities similar to the Ocean View are open to doubt. In the first place（不要用这种短语来凑字数，字数不是那么重要，文章要简练，以针见血）, the author did not prove that other ways to improve economy and generate tax revenues is inferior to just build a golf course and resort hotel. In the second place, both the golf course and the hotel have many kinds of styles. Perhaps the style in Ocean View receives the accolade it deserves, but you cannot suppose that the style is either the best one or suitable fashion for Hopewell.（很好啊，为什么不继续？？？） As the analysis dilevered above, we could safely draw the conclusion that the process of the reasoning is inconvincible.（多余，一段是一段，不要在这里作总结）

All that can be conclude by assembling the evidence and reasons provided by the author is that the statements is not eloquent as it stands. To further support the conclusion, the author must deliver convincing examples and reason logically in an appropriate manner.（结尾都差不多，^_^）

强烈建议在word中检查了再贴出来，这一步是必须的，帮助别人也是帮助自己。一整篇红杠杠，很容易把人弄得没心情改文章。


PS:不是偶改的.西西~~~不过改的人比偶牛~~
对上面的意见本人不负责:D

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

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