[a习作temp] ARGUMENT6 我的第一篇，45分钟，请多指教 [复制链接]

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电梯直达

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发表于 2005-2-8 11:47:43 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

题目
The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money."

正文
In this argument, the arguer's view seems to be sound and convincing at first glance that it can be undoubtedly profitable to found a local jazz club in Monroe. However, there are several problems could be pointed out as follows.

The major problem with this argument is that the premise that jazz is extremely popular in Monroe is based on last summer there were over 100,000 people attending Monroe's jazz festival and the highest-rated radio program there is also about jazz. However,the arguer ignores other relevant factors concerning the members of the festival ,that is,the tourists,the jazz-lovers living in other towns or cities,should participate,too. When the arguer doesn't mention the base amount of the whole listeners to the radio in Monroe,it can not conclude that the radio program is really popular there,because it might not be a large number of people in Monroe listen to the radio at all and the highest rate then has nothing to do with the conclusion.

Another flaw that weakens this argument is that whether the typical jazz fan would spend on the club is open to doubt. Those who love this kind of music might use their money to buy jazz discs,attend concerts,play jazz themselves and so on and not surly to join the club. Even if they'd like to,the number of jazz-lovers in Monroe is not demonstrate,while the income of them,which decides how much they can spend on it,is not,either. Without these,the advocation is too insufficiant to conclude it is profitable.

In addition,the arguer ignores several other factors that might undermine the argument. 65 miles is not that far away in fact when people have a private car or some other traffic tools making them arrive at the nearest jazz club more conviniencely,in that case,people may enjoy that club instead of this. At the same time,the quanlity of the performance should also be taken into account for it decides whether the jazz-lovers will attend it,on which the profit depends.

我3月初就要考了，现在才动笔已经很不乐观了，但是我会努力的！希望大家多指教！
在网吧上网诸多不便，连word都没有，请大家多关照！先谢谢了！