issue3 immediate problems vs long-term research 大年初一的文章，望拍，谢谢，

圣光UID: 193720

3、"It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generations."

According to the statement above, the investment on the current problems of the society outweighs putting fund in the long-term research. As far as I am concerned, however, the development of our society calls for a balance in that there is both investment in solving the contemporary problems, and fund in research to help our further generations.

There are many serious problems existing in the current society, which not only impedes the development of our world, but also affects our offspring. It is commonly known that if we cannot have a good life nowadays, neither can our children, and ultimately, our further generations cannot live well, either. Take poverty, the origin of many contemporary problems, for example. Poverty is prevailing in the current world due to the development of commerce. Many people cannot earn enough money to survive in the world, so they will do whatever they can to get money, even their activities are illegal. There are more dacoities, more abduction and other crimes in the society nowadays. With this condition to go on, the society would be dangerous for us, especially the children to live in. Moreover, the increase of crimes can also make the ethics in the society corrupt, which may as a result make our offspring live in a world without affection and mercy. Therefore, if we do not spend some money in the immediate problems such as poverty, we cannot survive in the society, not to mention our offspring.

Furthermore, investment on the current problems can contribute to the further research, which can benefit to our offspring. Here is a strong illustration. The research on the out-space technology was first based on the requirement of the military or exactly speaking, of the country defence. The government allocated money for it just because of the need of defending their own countries. But due to its improvement, we can imagine that one day people can live on other planets in the solar system, which can release the heavy burden of our Earth. And in all likelihood, people in the future can live better both on other planets and on the Earth because the density of the population will decrease and the world will be not as crowded as today.

On the hand, however, when we allocate money for the current problems, we cannot neglect the importance of the long-term research. Although if we cannot survive contemporarily in the world, there will be no further generations in the future, we have to be conscious of our responsibility in making the world not only suitable but also better for our offspring to live. There are indeed many problems predictable in the future, which may lead to a difficult life for our offspring, or even make the human beings to be extinct! To solve them, we have to turn to the long-term research for help. For example, there will be shortage in the supply of food in the near future. If no effort is made, our children may experience a period of little food. Thus, many biologists are doing their best to cultivate new species to improve the output of the rice. Many governments are also aware of the importance of the research and invest in the study, which makes many breakthroughs in the field.

Another reason why investment in the long-term research is crucial is that this kind of research can also bring out some results unpredictablely, which may be useful for our current world. People have been pursuing the origin of our world since the human society came into being. In this process, many discoveries came out, which impelled the development of our society. Likewise, our long-term research can also benefit us. Medical research is an apt example. We are suffering more and more diseases nowadays than ever before, such as AIDS, cancer, and so on, because of the more chemical substance we take in when we eat and the pollution of the environment. We can imagine that there will be some other illnesses in the future which can make our offspring suffering. To find ways to treat all the diseases that are already existed and that may exist in the future, the doctors and the biochemists are making every effort. It may take decades of years or even many generations time to solve this problem, however, in this process, we have found many kinds of medicine and many methods of treatments to cure the current diseases.

In the final analysis, while human beings are searching ways to live themselves better on the Earth, they are doing their best to make sure their children and offspring to have a better life. Thus we should invest both on the current problems and the research that may help the further generations, because investment on the contemporary problems can make the current people to survive and the development of the long-term research is based on the improvement of the current condition, and the fund put into the long-term research can benefit the current world a lot and it is our duty to create our offspring a better world.

圣光UID: 193720

顶一下吧，要不沉了就

圣光UID: 193720

我再顶！

圣光UID: 193720

还是没有人看啊~

binburuUID: 193418

结构好清晰啊！强！！！

flyingwindUID: 189320

On the[???] hand, however, when we allocate money for the current problems, we cannot neglect the importance of the long-term research. [Although if???] we cannot survive contemporarily in the world, there will be no further generations in the future, we have to be conscious of our responsibility in making the world not only suitable but also better for our offspring to live. There are indeed many problems predictable in the future, which may lead to a difficult life for our offspring, or even make the human beings to be罗嗦 extinct! To solve them, we have to turn to the long-term research for help. For example, there will be shortage in the supply of food in the near future. If no effort is made, our children may experience a period of little food. Thus, many biologists are doing their best to cultivate new species to improve the output of the rice. Many governments are also aware of the importance of the research and invest in the study, which makes many breakthroughs in the field.

Another reason why investment in the long-term research is crucial is that this kind of research can also bring out some results unpredictablely[无法预料的好吗？], which may be useful for our current world. [People have been pursuing the origin of our world since the human society came into being. In this process, many discoveries came out, which impelled the development of our society. 这句基本是废话，可以去掉]Likewise, our long-term research can also benefit us. Medical research is an apt example. We are suffering more and more diseases nowadays than ever before, such as AIDS, cancer, and so on, because of the more chemical substance we take in when we eat and the pollution of the environment. We can imagine that there will be some other illnesses in the future which can make our offspring suffering. To find ways to treat all the diseases that are already existed and that may exist in the future, the doctors and the biochemists are making every effort. It may take decades of years or even many generations time to solve this problem, however, in this process, we have found many kinds of medicine and many methods of treatments to cure the current diseases.

语言比较通顺的，结构比较清楚。第1段，开头写的很好！
从你的帖子看，你发的不多，新手的水平可畏啊
不足指出：
1。句子比较罗嗦。有的是句子中间罗嗦。有的是整个句子都没社么用的。例子我上面[]起来了的。
2。上面我品点的2段类容上有点重合。特别是例子，感觉2段的例子可以互换。
另外例证很好，但是你要点题。你的这2段缺少和你的小论点紧密联系的分析。比如，你要说到：这1部分的[研究不是马上可以看出效果的，不是马上为人所用，但是是必须的，]可以给后来的人带来好处。这样才说明长期的研究的好处。

圣光UID: 193720

to flyingwind:
多谢你的点评，我会改改。
顺便回拍，呵呵

静静发呆UID: 194347

3、"It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generations."

According to the statement above, the investment on the current problems of the society outweighs putting fund in the long-term research. As far as I am concerned, however, the development of our society calls for a balance in that 【这个结构是这样的？】there is both investment in solving the contemporary problems, and fund in research to help our further generations.【从我的水平看，开头还不错】

There are many serious problems existing in the current society, which not only impedes the development of our world, but also affects our offspring. It is commonly known that if we cannot have a good life nowadays, neither can our children, and ultimately, our further generations cannot live well, either. Take poverty, the origin of many contemporary problems, for example. Poverty is prevailing in the current world due to the development of commerce. 【really?而且这个句子在这里并没有作用，考虑直接在下句with peverty prevailing in the current world】Many people cannot earn enough money to survive in the world, so they will do whatever they can to get money, even 【if】their activities are illegal. There are more dacoities, more abduction and other crimes in the society nowadays. With this condition to go on, the society would be dangerous for us, especially the children to live in. Moreover, the increase of crimes can also make the ethics in the society corrupt, which may as a result make our offspring live in a world without affection and mercy. Therefore, if we do not spend some money in the immediate problems such as poverty, we cannot survive in the society, not to mention our offspring.

Furthermore, investment on the current problems can contribute to the further research, which can benefit to our offspring. Here is a strong illustration. The research on the out-space technology was first based on the requirement of the military or exactly speaking, of the country defence. The government allocated money for it just because of the need of defending their own countries. 【这句话很对，但是在这里有什么意义？】But due to its improvement, we can imagine that one day people can live on other planets in the solar system, which can release the heavy burden of our Earth. And in all likelihood, people in the future can live better both on other planets and on the Earth because the density of the population will decrease and the world will be not as crowded as today.


On the 【不需要other？】hand, however, when we allocate money for the current problems, we cannot neglect the importance of the long-term research. Although if we cannot survive contemporarily in the world, there will be no further generations in the future, we have to be conscious of our responsibility in making the world not only suitable but also better for our offspring to live. There are indeed many problems predictable in the future, which may lead to a difficult life for our offspring, or even make the human beings to be extinct! To solve them, we have to turn to the long-term research for help. For example, there will be shortage in the supply of food in the near future. If no effort is made, our children may experience a period of little food. Thus, many biologists are doing their best to cultivate new species to improve the output of the rice. Many governments are also aware of the importance of the research and invest in the study, which makes many breakthroughs in the field.

Another reason why investment in the long-term research is crucial is that this kind of research can also bring out some results unpredictablely, which may be useful for our current world. People have been pursuing the origin of our world since the human society came into being. In this process, many discoveries came out, which impelled the development of our society【这个例子不是很相关】. Likewise, our long-term research can also benefit us. Medical research is an apt example. We are suffering more and more diseases nowadays than ever before, such as AIDS, cancer, and so on, because of the more chemical substance we take in when we eat and the pollution of the environment. 【这个原因似乎……】We can imagine that there will be some other illnesses in the future which can make our offspring suffering. To find ways to treat all the diseases that are already existed and that may exist in the future, the doctors and the biochemists are making every effort. It may take decades of years or even many generations time to solve this problem, however, in this process, we have found many kinds of medicine and many methods of treatments to cure the current diseases. 【这段看下来，似乎没有体现unpredictable，因此与body2显得重复】

In the final analysis, while human beings are searching ways to live themselves better on the Earth, they 【为什么不用we呢？】are 【加个also感觉会好些】doing their best to make sure their children and offspring to have a better life. Thus we should invest both on the current problems and the research that may help the further generations, because investment on the contemporary problems can make the current people to survive and the development of the long-term research is based on the improvement of the current condition, and the fund put into the long-term research can benefit the current world a lot and it is our duty to create our offspring a better world【此句的and是不是多了一点】.

至于offspring，为什么不用descendent？不是很清楚区别，保留意见

总体感觉：前两个body应该是同一个意思的两个方面吧，或者说是某种程度上的递进，讲current；后面两个body讲long－term。前后是一种你中有我我中有你的感觉，这样固然体现了complexity，却也为行文增加了难度－－既要说到又要避免重复。建议分割的更清晰一些（其实偶常有此类错误，汗～）
字数不错，但应该注意怎样最清晰的表达思想，毕竟考试时候只有45分钟
anyway写的不错，很羡慕阿，继续努力吧～～^_^

（以上文字纯属个人观点）