Issue90 第2篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

cx831021UID: 173861

College students should be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than seek programs that promise entry into the job market.
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Should college students be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than seek programs that promise entry into the job market? Someone may prefer subjects that promise entry into the job market to what interest them , after all, good job is necessary for one people, especially who may be poor. However, I strongly agree with the speaker, for three reasons, just as below:
The first reason why I agree with the speaker is that I have question of "which major is more easier to enter into the job market? Somebody may refer to law, economics, and computers, which seem to be hot major now. Yet I don't think so for three reasons. Firstly, high technology are developing so quickly in modern times that can influence the job market greatly. For example, just twenty years ago, who would believe that the computer technology can develop and affect the society as well as what it is now. Secondly, with the growing up of economics, job situation change so greatly just in some years that it is hard to anticipate the situation in future when the students now leave school. Thirdly, even though existing hot major, students may be influenced by his or her parents and teachers, who might have a incorrect thinking about job choice.
The second reason why I agree with the speaker is what related with interests and the purpose of education. In my view, the purpose of education is to help the students become autonomous, creative, inquiring people who have the will and the intelligence to create our own destiny. On the other hand, just as the words "Interest is the best teacher", only if people can major in what his interest is in, he can try himself in the study with initiative and creative; otherwise, many students may lose his or her interests in study and do something else, deviating from the purpose of education, and even drop out of school. In my class, some of my peers, who go into the university without interests in his major which was considered as hot major, does not study hard and just indulge in playing games, which may resulted from the wrong choice of major.
The third reason why I agree with the speaker is that history is replete with people who succeed in his field that is his interest and not only for easy job. Thanks to choosing his career as a biologist for his interest instead of doctor advised by his father, Darwin finally discovered the theory of evolution. Einstein discovered the relative theory and said that interest is the best teacher. Chern Xingshen, one of the greatest mathematicians now, when asked why he choose mathematics as his career, just said that because it is interesting. Thus, if evaluated by the career resulting to great achievement, interest is still the criteria for choice of career.
On the other hand, one pursues subjects that promise entry into the job market, which he dislike, even would be successful in the field, it still is only a work rather than interest. And more often, those who go into the hot market cannot achieve great success but only survive.
In sum, I agree with the speaker since that interest is most important in not only education but also career choice. It is a proper way to keep balance in education and job in future is the specific knowledge job requiring can obtained from training program, freeing up our educators to help enrich students' lives and knowledge he or she is interested in in ways that will serve them in any walk of life.

sblbaslerUID: 175229

Should college students be encouraged to pursue subjects that interest them rather than seek programs that promise entry into the job market? [B][就算抄题也不要原封不动的抄，一点技术含量都没有，哈哈开个玩笑][/B] Someone [B][就用one][/B] r.[B][感觉整句话都有问题，特别是one和especially who的使用感觉有点问题][/B]  However, I strongly agree with the speaker, [B][就the following reasons 就完了，或者另起一段网上有类似的模版，这样写不地道][/B]
The first reason why I agree with the speaker is that I have question of "which major is more easier to enter into the job market? Somebody may refer to law, economics, and computers, which seem to be hot     major[B][/B]  now. Yet I don't think so for three reasons. Firstly, high technology [B][is][/B] developing so quickly in modern times that can influence the job market greatly. For example, just twenty years ago, who would believe that the computer technology can develop and affect the society as well as what it is now. Secondly, with the growing up of economics, job situation so greatly just in some years that it is hard to anticipate the situation in future when the students now leave school. Thirdly, even though existing hot major, students may be influenced by his or her parents and teachers, who might have a incorrect about job choice.
[B][第一个Body试图通过对什么是hot major的讨论来support论点个人认为不是不可以但有点牵强][/B]
The second reason why I agree with the speaker is .[B][感觉上有歧义，或者表达有问题，我理解的是兴趣和教育的目的与什么有关，但这文不切题呀][/B]  In my view, the purpose of education is to help [B][one][/B] become autonomous, creative, inquiring [B]person[/B]  who the will and the intelligence to create own destiny. On the other hand, just as the words "Interest is the best teacher", only if can major in what his interest is in, can try in the study with initiative and creative; otherwise, many students may lose his or her interests in study and do something else, deviating from the purpose of education, and even drop out of school. In my class, some of my peers, who go into the university without interests in his major which was considered as hot major, does not study hard and just indulge in playing games, which may resulted from the wrong choice of major.
[B][你这一段是说明了教育的重要性，但由于TS句有些问题加上结尾没有再次申明本段的主旨，又让人感觉不是很充分][/B]
The third reason why I agree with the speaker is that history is replete with people who succeed in his field that is his interest . Thanks to choosing his career as a biologist for his interest instead of doctor advised by his father, Darwin finally discovered the theory of evolution. Einstein discovered the relative theory and said that interest is the best teacher. Chern Xingshen, one of the greatest mathematicians now, when asked why he choose mathematics as his career, just said that because it is interesting. [B][三个例子很好，但如果都按照第一个达尔文的句式用成排比（即使爱因斯坦和陈省身你不知道什么或者说根本没有什么关于违背father的意愿的事儿，但你可以编呀，给你改卷的老外又不能去查，他不知道只能说明他知识浅薄是吧，你这样写就有些平淡和重复][/B] Thus, if evaluated by the career resulting to great achievement, interest is still the criteria for choice of career.
On the other hand, one pursues subjects that promise entry into the job market, which , even would be successful in the field, it still is only a work rather than interest. And more often, those who go into the hot market cannot achieve great success but only survive.
[B][on the other hand以后要写的应该是和你论点相反的东西，但你这样写还是在写追求entry into the job market的不好，这就不叫on the other hand了][/B]
In sum, I agree with the speaker since that interest is most important in not only education but also career choice. It is a proper way to keep balance in education and job in future is the specific knowledge job requiring can obtained from training program, freeing up our educators to help enrich students' lives and knowledge he or she is interested in in ways that will serve them in any walk of life.

sblbaslerUID: 175229

总的来说这篇文章写的有一些问题
1。开头论点虽然明确的提出，但语言过于罗嗦，我知道这属于提问式开头，但你的语言还要雕琢
2。问题最大的就是你的body，首先你的各段都用疑问句开头作为TS，如果换成中文，我似乎可以理解出那种作为reason的味道，但用上英文就差了很多。其次，各个分论点对你的中心支持不够，总是觉得不是很有说服力。第三，每个body最后最好来个总结，其实就是把本段的TS换个说法，这样就会使文章严禁很多。第四，实例太少，似乎总在说理，达尔文的那段比较不错，将peers的那个例子编成个什么哪个学校做的调查会更好。总之老外喜欢用事实说话。
3。再就是语言，由于你是刚写ISSUE，套路问题估计会慢慢变熟，但语言问题要重视，你的语法不是身扎实，可以说语病不少，而且满篇的类似于more and more , important的简单词太多