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[i习作temp] Issue 5 猛修修我的第一篇 让我学学大家issue该用大脑的哪一部分 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-2-14 23:42:37 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
5 A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."

The modernization process affects every area of society, and personal values and attitudes alter markedly. Recently whether a nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college or not is a broadly debated issue that attracted many attentions. Some people prefer to a national core curriculum for all children up until college. Other people, on the other hand, may assert that before college schools in different regions should decide on their own courses instead. The choice, nevertheless, is not an easy one to make. As far as I am concerned, however, I can agree that the former one is more reasonable. My arguments are listed as follows.

First of all, the main reason that supports my view is that a standard national curriculum until students enter college can cultivate broad interests in differently academic fields and constitute strong knowledge bases in every area. A good example can be found in the case that most countries have the Ministry of Education, which usually scientifically arrange basic education from nation position but not only from part standpoint They prepare national curriculums scientifically including broader fields. In addition, the forming learning in element middle and high school occupies a central position in students’ lives. If different parts are allowed to determine which academic courses to offer, they often incline to meet the part areas’ needs and strengthen some courses and cut some, which may decrease many chances for students to contact with different fields. Hence, this demonstrates the undeniable fact that the standard national curriculum in foundational period plays a considerable part in modern education.

Secondly, there is a further reason that must be taken into consideration. Local schools should not deprive students’ rights of studying broad field knowledge before young students cannot determine in teenager age which field should be chosen as a future career. As a case in point, schools in the area with factories concentrated may offer technical courses instead of art or literature for students. However, students in that area should not be introduced to the worker career too early and they may intend to pursue art or music. What is more, an open brain can offer a student more chances after he/she can choose a field in which he/she really interested when becoming an adult. At the same time, however, after high schools, thinking of the possible differences, colleges have freedom to choose academic courses for local students. Thus, it is sagacious to maintain that all students should study the national curriculum before entering college to constitute a good foundation.

Finally, “It is the best of time and it is the worst time” Charles Dickens began his “Tales of Two Cities” with such a paradoxical statement, which could also be applied to this topic. Admittedly, it may be true that there are a couple of merits of allowing schools to decide courses in some conditions. For instance, schools in the area with factories concentrated would like to teach students technical courses to help them to find jobs easily after graduation. However, this alone cannot constitute a sufficient support to claim that it is better to allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer before college. In fact, it is too specific and too weak to make this conclusion. Also, I feel the drawbacks are more obvious, such as determining students’ future too early and giving too weak foundation and too narrow knowledge for students. When the merits and drawbacks are carefully examined, the most striking conclusion is that all students should study the standard national curriculum before entering college.

To sum up, it must be explained that the reasons presented above sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole, thus become more persuasive than anyone of them. Therefore, any thinking person do trust that a nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer.
水到渠成.
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沙发
发表于 2005-2-16 23:38:13 |只看该作者
我自己顶一下,摆脱帮忙看看
水到渠成.

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板凳
发表于 2005-2-17 09:58:18 |只看该作者
5 A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."

The modernization process affects every area of society, and personal values and attitudes alter markedly. Recently whether a nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college or not is a broadly debated issue that attracted many attentions. Some people prefer to a national core curriculum for all children up until college. Other people, on the other hand, may assert that before college schools in different regions should decide on their own courses instead. The choice, nevertheless, is not an easy one to make. As far as I am concerned, however, I can agree that the former one is more reasonable. My arguments are listed as follows.第一段写的太绕了,考场上不如省下来写body

[U]First of all, the main reason that supports my view is that [/U] 删掉,多余 a standard national curriculum until beforestudents enter college can [U]cultivate broad interests [/U]搭配不当  in differentlydifferent academic fields and constitute strong knowledge bases in every area.  作为ts太拖沓了,你看看这句话怎么改会比较简单?A good example can be found in the case that most countries have the Ministry of Education, which usually scientifically arrange basic education from nation position but not only from part standpoint They prepare national curriculums scientifically including broader fields. In addition, the forming learning in element middle and high school occupies a central position in students’ lives. If different parts are allowed to determine which academic courses to offer, they often incline to meet the part areas’ needs and strengthen some courses and cut some, which may decrease many chances for students to contact with different fields. Hence, this demonstrates the undeniable fact that the standard national curriculum in foundational period plays a considerable part in modern education.例子举的有问题啊,英国人这样做效果就好么?就算效果好别的地方就适用么?应该采取什么和已经采取什么不是一个意思吧? 另外从"broader fields"的角度似乎不够信服.

中心句问题比较大,去issue区看一下另外语言的运用不够准确,建议再看一下范文. 加油! 也希望看到你批改别人的作文 :)

https://bbs.gter.net/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=829
https://bbs.gter.net/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=830
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地板
发表于 2005-2-20 13:24:23 |只看该作者

谢谢乒乓版主

谢谢你指出问题.
我边工作边准备G. 这些年思维变的懒而松散.英语也弱.
第一篇真的凑字成分多了点.不好意思.
研究研究范文, 好好写文章, 努力加入批改水平.
水到渠成.

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发表于 2005-2-20 17:04:39 |只看该作者
感觉比较罗嗦啊,有些地方翻来覆去都在说一个意思...
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RE: Issue 5 猛修修我的第一篇 让我学学大家issue该用大脑的哪一部分 [修改]

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Issue 5 猛修修我的第一篇 让我学学大家issue该用大脑的哪一部分
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