argument126 欢迎杂砖，必回拍

zhoulin00001UID: 189304

题目
126The following appeared in a health magazine.

"It has long been believed that getting at least eight hours of sleep a night is good for health. But a recent six-year study of adult sleeping habits found that people who reported sleeping eight or more hours a night had a higher rate of certain health problems than did those who reported sleeping seven hours a night. People who reported sleeping five hours a night also had an increased rate of the health problems, but this increase was slight compared to that for people who reported sleeping eight or more hours a night. Clearly, people should try to get seven hours of sleep, and they should worry more about getting too much sleep than too little.


In this argument, the arguer recommends that people should try to get seven hours of sleep, and they should worry more about getting too much sleep than too little. At first glance, this argument seems very specific and convincing. A careful examination of it, however, would reveal how groundless it is.
  
Firstly, this argument is based on the gratuitous assumption that people don’t sleep at daytime. It is somewhat ridiculous isn’t it? Common sense tells us that many people have the habit of have a sheep at noon and people who work at night will sheep more time at daytime. Thus, the people who reported sleeping seven hours a night might be sheep two or more hours at day time, as a result, their total sheep time is much than the people who reported sheep eight or more a night. So the arguer’s conclusion makes no sense at all.

Secondly, even if people do not have a little sheep at daytime and the nocturnal sheep time is the total sheep time. There are still many problems on this argument. It is no evidence that three groups have the same age, vocation and health standard. It is quite possible time people who sheep more are the olds or the poor healthy people while people who sheep seven hours at night are the people who are in a high health standards, they sleep more because they have poor health level,  therefore, it is natural that they have an lower rate of health problems.

Finally, grant that the six-year study is exact and convincing. The arguer’s recommendation is still under suspected. Everyone knows that sleep make us refresh us from a day’s tired, and too little sleep has little use for the refreshment , then necessarily cause health problems in a long run. We can not omit little sheep’s potential ham to our health. Besides, the study is based on the adults, even if it is suitable for them, there is no season to apply it to all the people. Children are in the period of growing and need more sheep to recover from a day’s heavy study .The olds are easily tired, they need more rest. They are much different from the adults.

To sum up, the argument is not well reasoning and lack credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lead to strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to provide more evidence to prove his/her recommends.

tottiUID: 184291

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tottiUID: 184291

In this argument, the arguer recommends that people should try to get seven hours of sleep, and they should worry more about getting too much sleep than too little. At first glance, this argument seems very specific and convincing. A careful examination of it, however, would reveal how groundless it is. 开头不错简洁


Firstly, this argument is based on the gratuitous assumption that people don’t sleep at daytime. It is somewhat ridiculous isn’t it? 作者好像是ignore而不是有意不考虑,这样反问我感觉没有必要 已经说gratuitous assumption,就不必somewhat ridiculous吧,斟酌一下
Common sense tells us that many people have the habit of have a sheep at noon and people who work at night will sheep more time at daytime. Thus, the people who reported sleeping seven hours a night might be sheep two or more hours at day time, as a result, their total sheep time is much than the people who reported sheep eight or more a night. So the arguer’s conclusion makes no sense at all. 论证还是不够充分好像,最好一针见血指出调查的样本不全面,然后说忽略了other causes


Secondly, even if people do not have a little sheep at daytime and the nocturnal sheep time is the total sheep time. There are still many problems on this argument(去掉这一句,直接就说第二种错误是什么). It is no evidence that three groups have the same age, vocation and health standard. 举例充分It is quite possible time people who sheep more are the olds or the poor healthy people while people who sheep seven hours at night are the people who are in a high health standards, they sleep more because they have poor health level, therefore, it is natural that they have an lower rate of health problems. [这一句太长,感觉应该照应the same age, vocation and health standard这三种可能分开来论述,这样有层次感


Finally, grant that the six-year study is exact and convincing. The arguer’s recommendation is still under suspected. Everyone knows that sleep make us refresh us 去掉 from a day’s tired, and too little sleep has little use 换用is not enough for the refreshment, then necessarily cause health problems in a long run. We can not omit little sheep’s potential ham to our health. Besides, the study is based on the adults, even if it is suitable for them; there is no season or reason?to apply it to all the people. Children are in the period of growing and need more sheep to recover from a day’s heavy study .The olds are easily tired, they need more rest. 换用the older and weaker the elder people, the more rest they needThey are much different from the adults. 感觉本段和前2段攻击点有些重复交错.既然讨论小孩和老人,那本段开头grant that the six-year study is exact and convincing. The arguer’s recommendation is still under suspected. Everyone knows that sleep make us refresh us from a day’s tired, and too little sleep has little use for the refreshment… 并不能作为主题句,建议本段要突出中心论点


To sum up, the argument is not well reasoning and lack credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lead to strong support to what the arguer maintains. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer would have to provide more evidence to prove his/her recommends. 结尾没有照应主题,感觉只是模板的重复,最好具体点并提出建议

总体感觉把握的挺好,就是有的地方说理再更清楚和条理些更好