issue93 不知有进步没，谢谢赐教

ouenoUID: 194212

Issue93  第8篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：56分20秒     522 words
从2005年1月16日0时21分到2005年1月16日1时56分
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The concept of 'individual responsibility' is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
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Is 'individual responsibility' necessary? According to the author, he regards it as a fiction because people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making. As far as I am concerned, I think individual responsibility is necessary for every   people although it is sometimes affected by social forces.

Firstly, our society is a collection of individual persons and the working of the society relies mainly on the deals of its composition. To maintain the normal work of the society, each person should be responsible for his deeds. As can be seen in history, when the people of a country lose their responsibility for the nation, for its people, the country may suffer from great disaster. For example, At the end of Qing dynasty in China history, the whole nation loses its patronage for the country and people feel no responsibility to struggle for protecting the country from foreign invaders, thus resulting in the loss of a vast area of territory. As some writers discovered that and created works to arouse the national responsibility, Chinese became awake, standing up strive for  the return of its territory and sovereignty. Cases like this suggest that individual responsibility, indispensable as it shows, is the basis of social security and stability.

Secondly, many social, politic or scientific problems are caused by the lack of individual responsibility of people. For instance, the main reason why Nazis Germany lost the World War II is not the strength of its opponents, or its poor luck, but the lack of individual responsibility of Hitler to the Soviet Union. It is his break of promise that obliges the Soviet Union to cooperate with Britain and France to resist against the common intruder. If Hitler had kept his promise, the end of this war might have reversed. In social life, Bill Clinton's zippergate scandal brought him to the danger of being impeached. As a political leader, Clinton is required more responsibility to others than the average and the mere fact that he is irresponsible for his wife as well as his family almost ruins his future. When it comes to scientific domain, the Iraq biologists are notorious for their ignorance of world security by using biochemical weapon- vital virus. These unpleasant memories remind us the importance of individual responsibility and the trouble of ignoring it.

Admittedly, people's behavior is largely determined by the society they live in, by the culture they   inherit, and by the religious belief they hold. Therefore, the society inevitably contributes to , at least partly to the behavior of its citizens, good or evil. It is the duty of the government to make the society a desirable one which its citizens may cherish and are unwilling to upset. The government of Singapore set a good example for all the other nations in the world. Singapore is    famous for its favorable environment and is regarded as 'the city in the garden'. The citizens of the country feel obliged to keeping the city clean, while seldom of them will disturb its beauty at the risk of social accusation and antipathy. Under such circumstance, social civilization due to the efforts of the government, more than individual consciousness, helps form such responsibility.   

There are still several other aspects relevant to the issue under discussion, which, unfortunately, I have no time to explore in detail. But the above discussed reasons are sufficient to prove that individuals should keep their responsibility to the society consciously and at the same time, government should civilize the society to strengthen this responsibility to maintain the harmony and stability of the society.

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

占座  今天如果没回 明天定回
有空也去看看俺的呗 谢过 :p

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

Is 'individual responsibility' necessary? According to the author, he regards it as a fiction because people's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making. 设问句有些答非所问。问的是不是necessary答的是为什么是fiction.开头用问句，应该基本上代表你要探讨的问题了，但是回答的确是另外一个问题As far as I am concerned, I think individual responsibility is necessary for every peopleevery people? although it is sometimes affected by social forces.

Firstly, our society is a collection of individual personsindividuals就可以了 and the working of the society relies mainly on the deals of its composition.deals of its composition不明白 To maintain the normal work of the society, each person should be responsible for his deeds. As can be seen in history, when the people of a country lose their responsibilityresponsibilities for the nation, for its people, the country may suffer fromsuffer及物,from去掉 great disaster.这些不是个人责任了吧？是社会责任了，对国家人民负责云云 For example, At the end of Qing dynasty in China history, the whole nation loses its patronage for the country and people feel no responsibility to struggle for protecting the country from foreign invaders, thus resulting in the loss of a vast area of territory.汗,没这么严重吧，the whole nation都...？ As some writers discovered that and created works to arouse the national responsibility, Chinese became awake, standing up strive for the return of its territory and sovereignty. Cases like this suggest that individual responsibility, indispensable as it shows, is the basis of social security and stability.TS说的是社会由个人组成，个人责任是社会组织运作的基础，结尾说了危及安全和稳定，没扣住。关键是你的例子方面很大，什么民族了国家了云云，那是社会责任，我的理解个人责任应该是个人对自己作出的选择和行为负责，并且自己承担后果，这样才能实现团体的协作和社会的正常运作。

Secondly, many social, politic or scientific problems are caused by the lack of individual responsibility of people.这个论点不错，不过那个scientific problem不恰当了 For instance, the main reason why Nazis Germany lost the World War II is not the strength of its opponents, or its poor luck, but the lack of individual responsibility of Hitler to the Soviet Union. It is his break of promise that obliges the Soviet Union to cooperate with Britain and France to resist against the common intruder. If Hitler had kept his promise, the end of this war might have reversed.例子觉得失败了，1，希特勒对苏联有什么responsibility?2,从你的意思the war might have reversed看，立场很可怕，貌似对发法西斯有支持的感觉，这样的观点怕是很危险哪。关键是和上段一样individual responsibility理解歪了 In social life, Bill Clinton's zippergate scandal brought him to the danger of being impeached. As a political leader, Clinton is required more responsibility to others than the average and the mere fact that he is irresponsible for his wife as well as his family almost ruins his future.既然说个人责任就说他的行为何如，不用说比别人的责任多了什么的扯远了，就说做为丈夫应该何如就可以，断送前程什么的也不必谈。TS有个family problem更好 When it comes to scientific domain, the Iraq biologists are notorious for their ignorance of world security by using biochemical weapon- vital virus. 同样，这个我觉得还不是个人责任，偏These unpleasant memories remind us the importance of individual responsibility and the trouble of ignoring it.和上段一样，觉得对individual responsibility的理解有偏差

Admittedly, people's behavior is largely determined by the society they live in, by the culture they inherit, and by the religious belief they hold. Therefore, the society inevitably contributes to , at least partly to the behavior of its citizens, good or evil. It is the duty of the government to make the society a desirable one which its citizens may cherish and are unwilling to upset.are unwill to upset没看懂 The government of Singapore set a good example for all the other nations in the world. Singapore is famous for its favorable environment and is regarded as 'the city in the garden'. The citizens of the country feel obliged to keeping the city clean, while seldom of them will disturb its beauty at the risk of social accusation and antipathy. Under such circumstance, social civilization due to the efforts of the government, more than individual consciousness, helps form such responsibility.这段比上面好多了

There are still several other aspects relevant to the issue under discussion, which, unfortunately, I have no time to explore in detail.这句。。。和你无关的你不提就是了，再说i have no time to explore 有些画蛇添脚 But the above discussed reasons are sufficient to prove that individuals should keep their responsibility to the society看，keep their responsibility to the society 还是对个人责任的理解 consciously and at the same time, government should civilize the society to strengthen this responsibility to maintain the harmony and stability of the society.


这个题目本身很绕，偶也很头疼，看着题目都晕，还没写过。
对题目的理解要到位，要清晰，题目说 the "" is a necessary fiction....我的理解：个人责任是必要的，但是很大程度上个人的行为是社会逼迫的而不是自身的素质，使得individual responsibility尽管很必须，但是却是一种fiction.
所以破题的思路：1，说明individual responsibility是否存在，是否是个人自身的素质，是不是社会逼迫的，从而说明对的需求它是不是一种fiction；2，我的理解当然是存在，是个人自主的行为，所以不是fiction；3，尽管社会对个人责任有一定的影响，但是每个人都要为自己的行为和选择负责，个人责任还是很必须的。
个人意见，欢迎讨论，有空去砸我的吧。一起努力