issue1 弱弱的第一篇

墨斗鱼UID: 177024

issue1
"We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning"


The speakers claims that we can learn much more from people whose ideas we share than from  whose views contradict ours, because of the stress and inhibition prouced by disagreement. AS opposed to the speaker's statement, I believe that one always learn much more from people whose ideas are different or even utterly opposite  than from people with similar ideas.

Firstly, discussing with dissenters is good for us to rapidly find out our errors on views, but with people who have similar ideas is difficult to achieve this object.  As we all known, in the era of knowledge explosion, even on the same topic, views are updating day by day, no one can claim that he could maintain the knowledge without any false or deficient. So learn is always the process of rectification, fortunately,debating with others is a effecitve method. In debating, one must ask himself: why I have different ideas? what lead to the difference? what factors I have not account in? with these questions help, mistask will be more and more distinctly. (感觉这里应该加一个例子但是实在想不到好例子啊) Provided that one always discuss with people whose views they share, immersing themselves in the excitement of sharing ideas, they may neglect to realize the dificient.

Moreover, as a famous saying goes " if both you and I have an apple, we still have a apple respectively after interchanging; however, if we have a idea respectively, the result of interchange is that we both have two ideas."By absorbing the rational opposite ideas into our own views, people can continuously enlarge knowledge horizon. Any individual has different background and knowledge structure, disagreement indicates that the person has the new knowledge, new argue,or new ideas what we may have not, of cause those need us to pay more attention to and to learn if necessary. Conversely, people who have the simiar ideas with us usually also have the similar knowldge with us, therefore, from them what we can learn will be less than dissenters.

However, some one concede that disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning. Addmitedly, some unrational disagreement
may costs the waste of energy and time, even in stituation of the two opppnents on different knowledge level. But I believe that these stress and inhibition are brought out by people themselves,rather than the disagreement. If one have an open mind to accept others criticisms , the stress will disapear gradually, meanwhile, if one have patience to explain his own views to debaters, the confidence will be established in one's mind.So comparing with the advantage of debating with dissenters, such
stress and inhibition are inconsiderable.

In conclusion, intercoursing with people whose opinions different gives us chance to correct our errors, broad our knowledge, deepen our views and help us to solve the peoblems in different ways, but the same ideas with ours on wiews seems to be weak in learning process.

墨斗鱼UID: 177024

没人理吗？ 帮帮忙巴，555555

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

呵呵 互改一下? http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=248626
先帮助一下别人嘛

volcanochenUID: 194083

第一句最前面就错了......而且感觉第一段显得很罗嗦。
8过比我昨天写的好多了......

volcanochenUID: 194083

建议把人称改为her,she等
p4  l7

墨斗鱼UID: 177024

真是弱啊  第一句就错了，而且读读确实罗嗦，我会再改的
谢谢！看到有人回贴真的很高兴。
乒乓球爱上九月 ：其实我也看了很多人的文章，可是水平有限害怕误导人家啊，
                 下次我一定大胆发表我得拙见

azaileaUID: 187859

issue1
"We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning"

The speakers claims that we can learn much more from people whose ideas we share than from whose views contradict ours, because of the stress and inhibition prouced by disagreement. AS opposed to the speaker's statement, I believe that one always learn much more from people whose ideas are different or even utterly opposite than from people with similar ideas.（第一句话模版痕迹太重，如果不是简单的复述，而能有个引子则更好）

Firstly, discussing with dissenters is good for us to rapidly find out our errors on views, but with people who have similar ideas is difficult to achieve this object. As we all known, in the era of knowledge explosion, even on the same topic, views are updating day by day, no one can claim that he could maintain the knowledge without any false or deficient. So learn(learning) is always the process of rectification, fortunately, debating with others is a effective method. In debating, one must ask himself: why I have different ideas? What lead to the difference? What factors I have not accounted in? (改成have not taken into account会不会更好) with these questions help, mistask will be more and more distinctly. (感觉这里应该加一个例子但是实在想不到好例子啊) Provided that one always discuss with people whose views they share, immersing themselves in the excitement of sharing ideas, they may neglect to realize the dificient（应该是名词deficiency，可以在后面加定语从句表明缺点是他们都有的）.（这段有几个语法错误，语言表达不是很到位，最后一句写得不错）

Moreover, as a famous saying goes " if both you and I have an apple, we still have a apple respectively after interchanging; however, if we have an idea respectively, the result of interchange is that we both have two ideas." By absorbing the rational opposite ideas into our own views, people can continuously enlarge knowledge horizon. Any individual has different background and knowledge structure, disagreement indicates that the person has the new knowledge, new argue, or new ideas what we may have not, （这句话没看懂）of course those need us to pay more attention to and to learn if necessary. Conversely, people who have the similar ideas with us usually also have the similar knowledge with us, therefore, from them what we can learn will be less than dissenters.（前面写得还可以，后面有些句子意思重复了，表示想同同意见similar多次使用，缺少变化)

However, some one concede that disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning. Admittedly, some irrational disagreement may costs the waste of energy and time, even in situation of the two opponents on different knowledge level. But I believe that these stress and inhibition are brought out by people themselves, rather than the disagreement. If one have an open mind to accept others criticisms , the stress will disappear gradually, meanwhile, if one have patience to explain his own views to debaters, the confidence will be established in one's mind. So comparing with the advantage of debating with dissenters, such stress and inhibition are inconsiderable.（这段写得比较好）

In conclusion, intercoursing with people whose opinions different（改为are different,否则不成从句） gives us chance to correct our errors, broad our knowledge, deepen our views and help us to solve the problems in different ways, but the same ideas with ours on views seems to be weak in learning process.（but结尾有点突兀，感觉作者走了反方向的极端）

文章开头段阐明自己的position，之后用三段来支持，层次分明，结构合理。存在问题不少：拼写错误，有些我直接在原文进行修改；然后是语法错误，希望作者先在word上改好了在上贴；最关键的问题是论证不够cogent，有些句子写得很不干脆;还有一个问题就是论证不深入，参考牛人的建议，论点不在多，分析越透彻越好；最后一点，词汇用得不是很到位，如果是不限时写作，建议作者在选词时参考一下WB字典。最后恳请作者修改完再给我发一份，邮箱是：azaiea@163.com
还是很佩服，我怎么写都到不了500。

墨斗鱼UID: 177024

感谢azailea的批评，不好意思没有在word中改就发上来了
我已经做了修改并给你发到信箱里了 ，不过我实在想不出如何能够更加深入一些，你给提醒提醒吧。

shanxirenUID: 196540

a little bit redundant... nice try though

legendhfwangUID: 191674

其实也想 为你想个例子，可惜没能看懂是什么意思
In conclusion, intercoursing with people whose opinions different gives us chance to correct our errors, broad our knowledge, deepen our views and help us to solve the peoblems in different ways, but the same ideas with ours on wiews seems to be weak in learning process
最后异端写的听好，不过得吧 wiews改成views

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

up