issue47 传统与现代, 有感觉了

foreverlovesUID: 166930

ISSUE147
Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.

Are tradition and modernization incompatible? In my opinion, although sometimes they may contradict with each other, in most cases tradition and modernization is intensively related and could not be separate apart.

In the first place, since moderation is derived from tradition, a few traces of tradition could be found in the modernization world. One good case in point is science. Because the development of science is a process of knowledge accumulation, modern science owes its prosperous a lot to the traditional science. Just go to any university to see that students are still learning the calculous which was invented by Newton in the seventeenth century and are ready to put them into practice to analyze the problems encountered today; Knowledge will never become obsolete. As far as politics is concerned, no one will doubt why they are still using the 1787's constitutions plus only twenty six amendments. Laws will never appear old; In respect of buildings seldom anyone will feel it dubious or absurd that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is still standing. Old architectures are valuable things nowadays.

In addition, with the global network and the development of science and technology, tradition is mixed with modernization so much so that one can hardly discriminate what is tradition and what is modernization. For example, people nowadays have Christmas day, but do they still have it completely in the traditional ways? Perhaps they could send a short message to their friend to express best wishes by way of the mobile phone, perhaps they could decorates their houses with modern baubles such as the colorful lights. Tradition will keep pace with modernization. Another trend is that different countries begin to share the same traditions. Chinese people have already get used to the valentine's day and Americans will go for boating on the dragon boat festival, without  the modern tools, people from diverse countries could not communicate with each other so freely as to get a very clear picture of the other countries and  these traditions could not overwhelm the whole planets.

Admittedly, sometimes we are inevitably facing the problems of how to enhance modernization without do harm to the integrity of tradition. This usually happens  a good case in point is the Three Gorge Dam building in China, the Chinese government has to choose between preserve the old traditional cultures and building a dam which will generate a large amount of electricity and will benefit the whole nation a lot. It is a dilemma. However, under such circumstances the governors could think out a better way to reconcile this clash.

From the above analysis, we come to the conclusion that most often tradition and modernization is in fact intertwine instead of conflict with each other. In a way, tradition to modernization is the soil to the tree. Modernization stem from tradition while tradition provide endless nutrition to modernization.

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

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migao21UID: 58234

Are tradition and modernization incompatible? In my opinion, although sometimes they may contradict with each other, in most cases tradition and modernization is intensively related and could not be separate apart.

In the first place, since moderation is derived from tradition, a few traces of tradition could be found in the modernization world. One good case in point is science. Because the development of science is a process of knowledge accumulation, modern science owes its prosperous a lot to the traditional science. Just go to any university to see that students are still learning the calculous which was invented by Newton in the seventeenth century and are ready to put them into practice to analyze the problems encountered today; Knowledge will never become obsolete. 这句说的太绝对As far as politics is concerned, no one will doubt why they are still using the 1787's constitutions plus only twenty six amendments. Laws will never appear old; In respect of buildings seldom anyone will feel it dubious or absurd that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is still standing. Old architectures are valuable things nowadays.
这段论证一些传统仍然在现代化的生活里，举的例子好像不怎么恰当， 传统和现代化，从人的文化和生活方式上比较好论证，而且你用同样的事物在不同时期的相同对待来论证，好像有点不妥： 因为你的意思就是我们一直传统，没有现代化的对比

In addition, with the global network and the development of science and technology, tradition is mixed with modernization so much so that one can hardly discriminate what is tradition and what is modernization. For example, people nowadays have Christmas day, but do they still have it completely in the traditional ways? Perhaps they could send a short message to their friend to express best wishes by way of the mobile phone, perhaps they could decorates their houses with modern baubles such as the colorful lights. Tradition will keep pace with modernization. Another trend is that different countries begin to share the same traditions. Chinese people have already get used to the valentine's day and Americans will go for boating on the dragon boat festival, without the modern tools, people from diverse countries could not communicate with each other so freely as to get a very clear picture of the other countries and these traditions could not overwhelm the whole planets.
这段的开始观点很不错。 但是，不好意思，仍然是例子的问题： 你举例圣诞，（请注明是那个地区）没有看出传统和现代化融合在一起啊，更别提中西传统文化交融

Admittedly, sometimes we are inevitably facing the problems of how to enhance modernization without do harm to the integrity of tradition. This usually happens a good case in point is the Three Gorge Dam building in China, the Chinese government has to choose between preserve the old traditional cultures and building a dam which will generate a large amount of electricity and will benefit the whole nation a lot. It is a dilemma. However, under such circumstances the governors could think out a better way to reconcile this clash.
这段一开始妥协观点不错，例子也不错，但是举的例子， 不说时态问题吧，还没有完整说明问题， 其实这里三峡可以作为正面例子的

From the above analysis, we come to the conclusion that most often tradition and modernization is in fact intertwine instead of conflict with each other. In a way, tradition to modernization is the soil seed比较好吧to the tree. Modernization stem from tradition while tradition provide endless nutrition to modernization.


优点就不说了， 作者抓住前面的Tradition and modernization are incompatible.忽略后面的“One must choose between them.”， 但是一点都不提及，好像不大好吧。

另外语法错误还挺多， 很多是主谓不协调。

foreverlovesUID: 166930

Are tradition and modernization incompatible? In my opinion, although sometimes they may contradict with each other, in most cases tradition and modernization is intensively related and could not be separate apart.

In the first place, since moderation is derived from tradition, a few traces of tradition could be found in the modernization world. One good case in point is science. Because the development of science is a process of knowledge accumulation, modern science owes its prosperous a lot to the traditional science. Just go to any university to see that students are still learning the calculous which was invented by Newton in the seventeenth century and are ready to put them into practice to analyze the problems encountered today; Knowledge will never become obsolete. 这句说的太绝对As far as politics is concerned, no one will doubt why they are still using the 1787's constitutions plus only twenty six amendments. Laws will never appear old; In respect of buildings seldom anyone will feel it dubious or absurd that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is still standing. Old architectures are valuable things nowadays.
这段论证一些传统仍然在现代化的生活里，举的例子好像不怎么恰当， 传统和现代化，从人的文化和生活方式上比较好论证，而且你用同样的事物在不同时期的相同对待来论证，好像有点不妥： 因为你的意思就是我们一直传统，没有现代化的对比[这个我考虑下,是不是突出一下对比就好了,  你觉得上面举的calculous 和constitution 算不算tradition 呢]

In addition, with the global network and the development of science and technology, tradition is mixed with modernization so much so that one can hardly discriminate what is tradition and what is modernization. For example, people nowadays have Christmas day, but do they still have it completely in the traditional ways? Perhaps they could send a short message to their friend to express best wishes by way of the mobile phone, perhaps they could decorates their houses with modern baubles such as the colorful lights. Tradition will keep pace with modernization. Another trend is that different countries begin to share the same traditions. Chinese people have already get used to the valentine's day and Americans will go for boating on the dragon boat festival, without the modern tools, people from diverse countries could not communicate with each other so freely as to get a very clear picture of the other countries and these traditions could not overwhelm the whole planets.
这段的开始观点很不错。 但是，不好意思，仍然是例子的问题： 你举例圣诞，（请注明是那个地区）没有看出传统和现代化融合在一起啊，更别提中西传统文化交融 [圣诞的例子用they could send a short message to their friend to express best wishes by way of the mobile phone这句话来说明, 中西传统文化交融Chinese people have already get used to the valentine's day and Americans will go for boating on the dragon boat festival用这句话]

Admittedly, sometimes we are inevitably facing the problems of how to enhance modernization without do harm to the integrity of tradition. This usually happens a good case in point is the Three Gorge Dam building in China, the Chinese government has to choose between preserve the old traditional cultures and building a dam which will generate a large amount of electricity and will benefit the whole nation a lot. It is a dilemma. However, under such circumstances the governors could think out a better way to reconcile this clash.
这段一开始妥协观点不错，例子也不错，但是举的例子， 不说时态问题吧，还没有完整说明问题， 其实这里三峡可以作为正面例子的

From the above analysis, we come to the conclusion that most often tradition and modernization is in fact intertwine instead of conflict with each other. In a way, tradition to modernization is the soil seed比较好吧to the tree. Modernization stem from tradition while tradition provide endless nutrition to modernization.


优点就不说了， 作者抓住前面的Tradition and modernization are incompatible.忽略后面的"One must choose between them."， 但是一点都不提及，好像不大好吧。

另外语法错误还挺多， 很多是主谓不协调。

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

Are tradition and modernization incompatible? 偶说了楼主表介意，偶不稀饭开头上来一个is …?的问句，觉得这样的句没有实质作用，如果说自己的观点，完全可以直接的简洁的提出来，不需要拐个弯，后面再来回答这个问题。 In my opinion, although sometimes they may contradict with each other, in most cases tradition and modernization is intensively related and could not be separate apart.

In the first place, since moderation is derived from tradition, a few traces of tradition could be found in the modernization world. One good case in point is science. Because the development of science is a process of knowledge accumulation, modern science owes its prosperous a lot to the traditional science. Just go to any university to see that students are still learning the calculous which was invented 感觉发明微积分有些不准确by Newton in the seventeenth century and are ready to put them into practice to analyze the problems encountered today; Knowledge will never become obsolete.never此类的词慎用 As far as politics is concerned, no one will doubt why they they 是什么？ are still using the 1787's constitutions plus only twenty six amendments. Laws will never appear old; In respect of buildings seldom anyone will feel it dubious or absurd that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is still standing. Old architectures are valuable things nowadays.观点不错，但是论证中没有突出motorization。只说了现在的人在用过去的东西，数学，制度云云，这些东东的现代化表现在哪里？那个传统在现代化中的表现在哪里？

In addition, with the global network and the development of science and technology, tradition is mixed with modernization so much so that one can hardly discriminate what is tradition and what is modernization. For example, people nowadays have Christmas day, but do they still have it completely in the traditional ways? Perhaps they could send a short message to their friend to express best wishes by way of the mobile phone, perhaps they could decorates their houses with modern baubles such as the colorful lights. 是不是一边挂圣诞灯往袜子装礼物一边发短信上网可以更交融一点呢？我这句有捣乱的成分，轻松一下:DTradition will keep pace with modernization. Another trend is that different countries begin to share the same traditions. Chinese people have already get used to the valentine's day and Americans will go for boating on the dragon boat festival, without the modern tools, people from diverse countries could not communicate with each other so freely as to get a very clear picture of the other countries and these traditions could not overwhelm the whole planets.第二个例子不太好，说了因为有现代工具，所以传统得以传播，那个交融啊交融。。。是你的TS啊，这个例子体现的不明显

Admittedly, sometimes we are inevitably facing the problems of how to enhance modernization without do harm to the integrity of tradition. This usually happens a good case in point is the Three Gorge Dam building in China, the Chinese government has to choose between preserve the old traditional cultures and building a dam which will generate a large amount of electricity and will benefit the whole nation a lot. It is a dilemma. However, under such circumstances the governors could think out a better way to reconcile this clash.嗯，这个例子不错，还可以用在那个面对当代需要还要保护古代建筑的那个小破题里面。不过结尾突兀了，however一个大转折，收尾了。还是要说一下进行了适当的摒弃，然后把精华遗址了保护了什么的，就可以加强一下你的观点啦。还有个问题捏，界个让步应该和那个题目中必须choose一个有关吧，最好再说一下某些时候特别矛盾了怎么选择一个，例子没想出来，也许三峡扔掉的那些破庙了什么的可以算是，嘿嘿。

From the above analysis, we come to the conclusion that most often tradition and modernization is in fact intertwine instead of conflict with each other. In a way, tradition to modernization is the soil to the tree. Modernization stem from tradition while tradition provide endless nutrition to modernization.

总的来说，思路清晰，论证也比较明白，只是例子上还需要再想想怎么能更好的服务你的观点。B3的结尾太匆匆了，例子还没有说到位就完了，再添加一些东西。
语法没仔细改，但是也有问题，自己解决一下好啦
加油噢。

migao21UID: 58234

最初由 foreverloves 发布
[这个我考虑下,是不是突出一下对比就好了, 你觉得上面举的calculous 和constitution 算不算tradition 呢

从广义上来说不能不算tradition, 但是我觉得既然举例就是要有特色，能够充分说明论点的， 你的例子能够说明以前的知识(体系)仍然在现当代使用， 没有明确的说明现代化中有传统的影子痕迹。 或者你换个说法也许能够表达清楚吧

最初由 foreverloves 发布
[圣诞的例子用they could send a short message to their friend to express best wishes by way of the mobile phone这句话来说明, 中西传统文化交融Chinese people have already get used to the valentine's day and Americans will go for boating on the dragon boat festival用这句话]

我懂你的意思： 就是说用新颖的方式在庆祝传统的节日， 但是这里用网络的e-Card代替传统的圣诞卡比较好吧，  中西方文化交融和你的论点没有关系吧， 当然你此段最后说明了“用现代化的工具方式，可以使全球文化得到交流”， 这个和传统现代化有什么密切的关系吗？

foreverlovesUID: 166930

Are tradition and modernization incompatible? 偶说了楼主表介意，偶不稀饭开头上来一个is …?的问句，觉得这样的句没有实质作用，如果说自己的观点，完全可以直接的简洁的提出来，不需要拐个弯，后面再来回答这个问题 In my opinion, although sometimes they may contradict with each other, in most cases tradition and modernization is intensively related and could not be separate apart.

In the first place, since moderation is derived from tradition, a few traces of tradition could be found in the modernization world. One good case in point is science. Because the development of science is a process of knowledge accumulation, modern science owes its prosperous a lot to the traditional science. Just go to any university to see that students are still learning the calculous which was invented 感觉发明微积分有些不准确[帮我想个词吧,我怎么也想不出了]by Newton in the seventeenth century and are ready to put them into practice to analyze the problems encountered today; Knowledge will never become obsolete.never此类的词慎用 [太绝对了]As far as politics is concerned, no one will doubt why they they 是什么？[指前面的one吧,可以又不对,不知道怎么表达”没有人会置疑他们怎么怎么样”呢] are still using the 1787's constitutions plus only twenty six amendments. Laws will never appear old; In respect of buildings seldom anyone will feel it dubious or absurd that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is still standing. Old architectures are valuable things nowadays.观点不错，但是论证中没有突出motorization。只说了现在的人在用过去的东西，数学，制度云云，这些东东的现代化表现在哪里？那个传统在现代化中的表现在哪里？
[是不是应该加强一下说现代科技进步了,日新月异了,但是过去的那些东西还在,也就是加一句话]
In addition, with the global network and the development of science and technology, tradition is mixed with modernization so much so that one can hardly discriminate what is tradition and what is modernization. For example, people nowadays have Christmas day, but do they still have it completely in the traditional ways? Perhaps they could send a short message to their friend to express best wishes by way of the mobile phone, perhaps they could decorates their houses with modern baubles such as the colorful lights. 是不是一边挂圣诞灯往袜子装礼物一边发短信上网可以更交融一点呢？我这句有捣乱的成分，轻松一下 [恩,这个比较好,谢谢]Tradition will keep pace with modernization. Another trend is that different countries begin to share the same traditions. Chinese people have already get used to the valentine's day and Americans will go for boating on the dragon boat festival, without the modern tools, people from diverse countries could not communicate with each other so freely as to get a very clear picture of the other countries and these traditions could not overwhelm the whole planets.第二个例子不太好，说了因为有现代工具，所以传统得以传播，那个交融啊交融。。。是你的TS啊，这个例子体现的不明显[quite right]

foreverlovesUID: 166930

最初由 migao21 发布
[B]从广义上来?.

以下省略...... [/B]

谢谢,可能是需要表达上再推敲一下

着急啊,现在水平不行呢

xiaoheUID: 162707

Forgive me if I'm too straightforward or my comments are incorrect.

B1:
1 The examples are acceptable but not well presented. The first one is OK, but the latter two haven't form apperant contrast with something from the modernized side.
2 Some statements are too absolute to be safe. Actually you don't have to write them at all. "Knowledge will never become obsolete. " "Laws will never appear old"
3 calculous [U]established[/U]  by Newton (Is this verb better?)

B2:
1 The examples are good. But again you didn't make enough contrast on things. e.g. Celebrating Christmas, people still have Christmas trees, still stuffing the kids stocks with gifts... But at the same time, the outdoor decoration are all equiped with electricity so that they shone with colorful lights in the darkness of evenings, the gifts may be bought through internet and may be video games, potable TVs or other latest electronic products....
2 The latter part of B2 looks like another subpoint "The development of mordernization also helps traditions expand themself instead of shrinking."  If so, start it with a new paragraph and make a more detailed development of it.

B3:
When you say, "choose between preserve the old traditional cultures and building a dam which will generate a large amount of electricity and will benefit the whole nation a lot." What are "the old traditional clutures", Too vague. Better give a couple of examples. In the latter part, it's better to say like this "generate ... electricity that will make it possible for more people to use air conditioner in sweltering summer days, and heater in frigid winter,(and things like that)and accordingly benenit the modernization of the whole nation "

Con:
"tradition to modernization is the soil to the tree."  How about changing "soil" to "root"? (a minor point)

General comments:
1 No need to mention good points, do I?
2 Bear in mind that you are doing contrast and comparison all through the essay, show it whenever you can. Other wise, the argument seems to be straying away.
3 Some minor grammatical mistakes. In real exam, better save some time to check before the time ends.

davidjackyUID: 135962

https://bbs.gter.net/showthre ... 1266476#post1266476

No.1 issue47 传统与现代, 有感觉了
ISSUE147
Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.

Are tradition and modernization incompatible? In my opinion, although sometimes they may contradict with each other, in most cases tradition and modernization is intensively related and could not be separate apartin most cases tradition and modernization are so interrelated that they could not be isolated from each other.观点鲜明,传统和现代不可分离

In the first place, since moderation is derived from tradition, a few traces of tradition could be found in the modernization world. One good case in point is science. Because the development of science is a process of knowledge accumulation, modern science owes its prosperous a lot to the traditional science. Just go to any university to see that students are still learning the calculous which was invented by Newton in the seventeenth century and are ready to put them into practice to analyze the problems encountered today; Knowledge will never become obsolete. As far as politics is concerned, no one will doubt why they are still using the 1787's constitutions plus only twenty six amendments. Laws will never appear old; In respect of buildings seldom anyone will feel it dubious or absurd that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is still standing. Old architectures are valuable things nowadays.现代可以追溯到传统，举例：science和politics和buildings，这个话题的例子倒可以举技术革命的例子，建筑这个例子意义不大，因为本来就是古代建立，而science的范围更广，不如直接说大家还在学习Newton的理论等等，例子应该具体化，不能泛泛而谈，更不能一点概面或者以面覆点PS看完第二段才知你的第一段写法有些不妥，意思有些重合，不是吗？这样的话，你不如改写TS，直接说即便在现代，古代的东西仍保留，这样的话你的例子就比较合适

In addition, with the global network and thewith the unceasing development of science and technology构不成关系，科技日新月异VS传统现代混合？, tradition is mixed with modernization so much so that one can hardly discriminate这个词的用法（1）discriminate between … and…;(2)discriminate …from… what is tradition and what is modernization. For example, people nowadays have Christmas day, but do they still have it completely in the traditional ways? Perhaps they could send a short messageshort message短消息？不用这么写，直接说message to their friend to express best wishes by way of the mobile phone, perhaps they could decorates their houses with modern baubles such as the colorful lights. Tradition will keep pace with modernization. Another trend is that different countries begin to share the same traditions. Chinese people have already get used to the valentine's day and Americans will go for boating on the dragon boat festival, without the modern tools, people from diverse countries could not communicate with each other so freely as to get a very clear picture of the other countries and these traditions could not overwhelm the whole planets.例子要好好改改，中西文化混合？中国的情人节完全是商人制造的

Admittedly, sometimes we are inevitably facing the problems of how to enhance modernization without do harm to the integrity of tradition. This usually happens a good case in point is the Three Gorge Dam building in China, the Chinese government has to choose between preserve the old traditional cultures and building a dam which will generate a large amount of electricity and will benefit the whole nation a lot. It is a dilemma. However, under such circumstances the governors could think out a better way to reconcile this clash.这段还不错

From the above analysis, we come to the conclusion that most often tradition and modernization is in fact intertwine instead of conflict with each other. In a way, tradition to modernization is the soil to the tree. Modernization stem from tradition while tradition provide endless nutrition to modernization.
这篇文章很多人看过了，我简单的点评一下：注意例子和文章TS的结合