issue26 保护历史建筑 鸡蛋西红柿砸砸砸！

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

为虾米我最近两三天写作文，总觉得好像没学过英语，没见过AW一样？ :confused: 然后还觉得题目说的都是废话 没啥好论的 只好凑字数
总之写的巨不爽 大家给点主意吧！愁啊愁 :(

Issue 26"Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society's past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes. In such situations, modern development should be given precedence over the preservation of historic buildings so that contemporary needs can be served."


Looking at map of Beijing, we can find there is a line on which stand the quintessences of historic buildings in Beijing, from Yongdingmen in the south to Zhonggulou in the north. It is these buildings that witness the changes of Beijing, from the orderly and magnificent city and will be the start of the development in the future.  It is also these historic buildings that deeply impressed me, making me firmly believe that, when facing the modernization, the value of historic buildings should never be neglected and planners should provide precedence to historic buildings of great significance.

A number of historic buildings are of great value on aesthetics, architecture, culture and history. Since they are the representation of a certain period, we are able learn the tradition and culture of our ancestors from them. Take my homeland China for example. As a country experienced 5000 years vicissitude and development, the splendid and lofty palaces represents the crest of the civilization, while the temples, bridges and gardens describe the daily life of the populace. If people destroyed them when old buildings stand on ground where modern planners want to use for contemporary purposes, there would be one day that all the ground are used for the actual purpose and we would have no chance to admire the glory of the Great Wall, the luxuriance of Forbidden City and the oriental charm of Summer Palace. Historically, most people especially the experts are aware of the significance of historic buildings and are always trying to protect them when developing modern projects. For instance, when Egypt was planning to build Aswan Dam, the nation invited numerous historian and architects and spent a great deal of money to relocate the Abu Simble Temple and Nubian Monuments so that the Nile would not immerse the valuable historical and cultural inheritance. Owing to the effort to preserve historic buildings when meeting the conflict with modern buildings, we are lucky to appreciate abundant and various cultures today.

At the same time, some historic buildings can serves as important tourist resources, which will attract a lot of people from all over the world and thus promote economic development and create more opportunities for the state. Why there are so many people visiting Egypt? Are they going just for the extensive desert and the peaceful scene of Nile? The chief reason is that Egypt has many wonderful old buildings such as the pyramid, the Sphinx, the Abu Simble Temple and so on. The income of tourism in Egypt has taken 11 percent in the GDP of the whole nation and is considered as the first way to obtain foreign exchange. Another good example is the Forbidden City in China. Everyday the average number of tourists is 30 thousand, while in holidays it will be farther more. Thus, the tourism value and the huge income historic buildings bring should not be ignored in developing modern plans.

Admittedly, with the development of society and the increase of population, people need more spaces than before for industry, commerce and education and so on. If all the historic buildings are kept, modern development will come with some impediment in building modern structures for long-term progress. For instance, when building the biggest dam in the world, the Three Gorges Dam, a biggest concern is the valuable old temples and steles built in ancient China. After 10 years detailed analysis and consideration, the government decided to remove some of these old buildings and give up some insignificant buildings to develop this great water conservancy so that a large area of china will benefit from the electricity generated by the Dam. Although some old buildings are immersed by the Changjiang River, the effort to protect these constructions is great.  

To sum up, historic buildings, characterizing the culture and history of a certain period and processing huge tourism value, should be paid sufficient attention so that these cherished treasures can be passed down to our offspring. When meeting with the conflict with modern development, people should cautiously consider the worth of an old building before carrying out the plan.

阿莱UID: 190806

Issue 26"Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society's past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes. In such situations, modern development should be given precedence over the preservation of historic buildings so that contemporary needs can be served."


Looking at map of Beijing, we can find there is a line on which stand the quintessences of historic buildings in Beijing, from Yongdingmen in the south to Zhonggulou in the north. It is these buildings that witness the changes of Beijing, from the orderly and magnificent city and will be the start of the development in the future. It is also these historic buildings that deeply impressed me, making me firmly believe that, when facing the modernization, the value of historic buildings should never be neglected and planners should provide precedence to historic buildings of great significance.看你的作文 总感觉所有的开头都比较冗长 你确定你在限时的时候能在短时间内写出类似这样精心的开头的话 那我支持你写

A number of historic buildings are of great value on aesthetics, architecture, culture and history. 前后衔接别扭Since they are the representation of a certain period, we are able learn the tradition and culture of our ancestors from them. Take my homeland China for example. As a country experienced 5000 years vicissitude and development, the splendid and lofty palaces represents the crest of the civilization, while the temples, bridges and gardens describe the daily life of the populace. If people destroyed them when old buildings stand on ground where modern planners want to use for contemporary purposes,这个前后关系我比较不理解 there would be one day that all 1变成了1万:pthe ground are used for the actual purpose and we would have no chance to admire the glory of the Great Wall, the luxuriance of Forbidden City and the oriental charm of Summer Palace. Historically, most people especially the experts are aware of the significance of historic buildings and are always trying to protect them when developing modern projects. For instance, when Egypt was planning to build Aswan Dam, the nation invited numerous historian and architects and spent a great deal of money to relocate the Abu Simble Temple and Nubian Monuments so that the Nile would not immerse the valuable historical and cultural inheritance. Owing to the effort to preserve historic buildings when meeting the conflict with modern buildings, we are lucky to appreciate abundant and various cultures today.

At the same time, some historic buildings can serves as important tourist resources, which will attract a lot of people from all over the world and thus promote economic development and create more opportunities for the state.Good point Why there are so many people visiting Egypt? Are they going just for the extensive desert and the peaceful scene of Nile? The chief reason is that Egypt has many wonderful old buildings such as the pyramid, the Sphinx, the Abu Simble Temple and so on. The income of tourism in Egypt has taken 11 percent in the GDP of the whole nation and is considered as the first way to obtain foreign exchange. Another good example is the Forbidden City in China. Everyday the average number of tourists is 30 thousand, while in holidays it will be farther more. Thus, the tourism value and the huge income historic buildings bring should not be ignored in developing modern plans.

Admittedly, with the development of society and the increase of population, people need more spaces than before for industry, commerce and education and so on. If all the historic buildings are kept, modern development will come with some impediment in building modern structures for long-term progress. For instance, when building the biggest dam in the world, the Three Gorges Dam, a biggest concern is the valuable old temples and steles built in ancient China. After 10 years detailed analysis and consideration, the government decided to remove some of these old buildings and give up some insignificant buildings to develop this great water conservancy so that a large area of china will benefit from the electricity generated by the Dam. Although some old buildings are immersed by the Changjiang River, the effort to protect these constructions is great.u'd better add one more sentence to sum up this point so that u can make it a better and deeper way, an insightful way.  in my view, it is recommended to make a simple conclusion of this body

To sum up, historic buildings, characterizing the culture and history of a certain period and processing huge tourism value, should be paid sufficient attention so that these cherished treasures can be passed down to our offspring. When meeting with the conflict with modern development, people should cautiously consider the worth of an old building before carrying out the plan.大体看了一下 例子比较多 也有对例子的分析 行文比较灵活 还不错  :D

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

谢谢菜
开头 袄就是精心想了想 不然又要restate 不说鬼鬼要批评 自己看多了也觉得这样的开头很烦人 所以花了点时间想 但愿以后可以毫不费劲的写出来 这个开头我也想让简练点捏
B2 确实有些说的疙疙瘩瘩的 汗 还有2句是乱写的 HOHO
多谢

鬼谷子UID: 159645

No.1 issue26 保护历史建筑 鸡蛋西红柿砸砸砸！
为虾米我最近两三天写作文，总觉得好像没学过英语，没见过AW一样？  然后还觉得题目说的都是废话 没啥好论的 只好凑字数
总之写的巨不爽 大家给点主意吧！愁啊愁  【因为你玩的太多了，哼！】

Issue 26"Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society's past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes. In such situations, modern development should be given precedence over the preservation of historic buildings so that contemporary needs can be served."


Looking at 【the】map of Beijing, we can find there is【罗嗦，In the map of Beijing we can see/find…】 a line on which stand the quintessences of historic buildings in Beijing, from Yongdingmen in the south to Zhonggulou in the north. It is these buildings that witness the changes of Beijing, from the orderly and magnificent city and will be the start of the development in the future. 【这两个之间有change吗？！要说从什么什么样的古代到今天云云】It is also these historic buildings that deeply impressed me, making me firmly believe that, when facing the modernization, the value of historic buildings should never be neglected and planners should provide precedence to historic buildings of great significance. 【这次的开头罗嗦了，简洁一点。】

A number of historic buildings are of great value on aesthetics, architecture, culture and history. 【你的意思是一部分的历史建筑有价值，那么其他的呢？还需不需要保护呢？】Since they are the representation of a certain period, we are able learn the tradition and culture of our ancestors from them. Take my homeland China for example. As a country experienced 5000 years vicissitude and development, the splendid and lofty palaces represents the crest of the civilization, while the temples, bridges and gardens describe the daily life of the populace. If people destroyed them when old buildings stand on ground where modern planners want to use for contemporary purposes, there would be one day that all the ground are used for the actual purpose and we would have no chance to admire the glory of the Great Wall, 【好罗嗦】the luxuriance of Forbidden City and the oriental charm of Summer Palace. Historically, most people especially the experts are aware of the significance of historic buildings and are always trying to protect them when developing modern projects. For instance, when Egypt was planning to build Aswan Dam, the nation invited numerous historian and architects and spent a great deal of money to relocate the Abu Simble Temple and Nubian Monuments so that the Nile would not immerse the valuable historical and cultural inheritance. Owing to the effort to preserve historic buildings when meeting the conflict with modern buildings, we are lucky to appreciate abundant and various cultures today. 【这个是因果吗？】
【绕来绕去的太罗嗦了，都可以删减的，而且，词句上面确实退步了不少】

At the same time, some historic buildings can serves as important tourist resources, which will attract a lot of people from all over the world and thus promote economic development and create more opportunities 【job opportunities？】for the state. Why there are so many people visiting Egypt? Are they going just for the extensive desert and the peaceful scene of Nile? The chief reason is that Egypt has many wonderful old buildings such as the pyramid, the Sphinx, the Abu Simble Temple and so on. The income of tourism in Egypt has taken 11 percent in the GDP of the whole nation and is considered as the first way to obtain foreign exchange. Another good example is the Forbidden City in China. Everyday the average number of tourists is 30 thousand, while in holidays it will be farther more. Thus, the tourism value and the huge income historic buildings bring should not be ignored in developing modern plans. 【论点可以，感觉还是很罗嗦，可以简略一点，然后再说一点otherwise会怎么样，会损失什么？】

Admittedly, with the development of society and the increase of population, people need more spaces than before for industry, commerce and education and so on. 【for industrial commercial educational use】 If all the historic buildings are kept, modern development will come with some impediment in building modern structures for long-term progress. For instance, when building the biggest dam in the world, the Three Gorges Dam, a biggest concern is the valuable old temples and steles built in ancient China. After 10 years detailed analysis and consideration, the government decided to remove some of these old buildings and give up some insignificant buildings to develop this great water conservancy so that a large area of china will benefit from the electricity generated by the Dam. 【power plant/station】 Although some old buildings are immersed by the Changjiang River, the effort to protect these constructions is great. 【前面不是说放弃这些建筑吗？这里怎么又说保护了呢？】

To sum up, historic buildings, characterizing the culture and history of a certain period and processing huge tourism value, should be paid sufficient attention so that these cherished treasures can be passed down to our offspring. When meeting with the conflict with modern development, people should cautiously consider the worth of an old building before carrying out the plan.
【大体上的路线是正确的，例子还不错。不过，论证上的问题是应该尽量给历史建筑和现代计划做对比，然后再得出你的结论，你单方面的论述了历史建筑的重要性，但是没有对比，我们怎么能够知道现代的计划是否更重要呢？词句表达方面罗嗦而又不准确，尤其是B1，你罗罗嗦嗦说了一堆，后面的段落越写越少，虎头蛇尾，（何况头也没“虎”起来）笔墨不平衡，感觉你写作的时候迷迷糊糊的。注意改进。加油吧！】

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

谢谢
1。 崩溃  用了6个“罗嗦。 可见我真是唐僧。
2。 我确实迷迷糊糊的，这两天的作文都是在1点左右写的。写的无比痛苦，觉得和没学过英语一样。
3。B3不是对比呢？说经过了10年的研究啊，决定发展水电站造福国家，不得不含泪舍弃了一些古迹，又遗址了一些。然后既说明了有的时候还是要毁灭一些的，同时又说明了国家是经过了很多的研究并且tried to 保护。从而回到我一开始的观点 袄觉得这个例子一举两得。为虾米又没被明白，看来我的表达很成问题。
4。我以后不玩了，师父你表打我啊！我好有负罪感啊！

鬼谷子UID: 159645

B3是你举的有时历史建筑需要给现代发展让步的例子
你说算不算我说的那种比较呢？

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

晕了 我上面的回复也是迷糊的 i take back what i said
我知道你的意思了
主要是说面对现代发展的时候 怎么做 而我主要说历史怎么重要了 没对比
这个我写完了就发现了 刚才又忘了 还稀里糊涂和你争辩
师父，我脑袋已经秀豆了，救救我