issue130 socialization 第一篇，麻烦G有们啦，比回改

bigdouUID: 193522

130. How children are socialized today ditermines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.




A person's socialization means he or she master the basic knowledge and ability of liveing and working ,for example, making diner, the commensence of live, cooperation and communication and so on. A person who want to existe in the society, he or she has to been well socialized. And the children are the future of a society, the social destiny of future is based on the what the children do in future in society, such as how they live and how they work. Thus, the socialization of children is so important that it can determine the distiny of society. Unfortunately, most of the parents and teachers have not learned this. In other words, most of them have yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.

Being short of the the ability of taking care of themselves, take washing clothes and making diner for example, is one of defects of children, now in China. Many children until they are 18 years old ,still have not washed clothes by themselves once; Many children until going to college, do not how to cook the meal, even a fried egg. In a summer camp organised by China and Japan in 1992, Chinese students' shortage in this area had been clearly shown. All of the Japanese children can cook a delicious meal on their own out of doors, while most of Chinese children can only stand and look at others. A Chinese student explained that he lived with his grandma and she didn't allow he to do any housework at home because he should use most time to study. A person who can not do any housework ,how can he cook his meal in the open air ,and how can he exist in the society and play a part in society in future?

Laking the ability of cooperation is another problems of the children presently in China. A large part of children are the one and only child at home, so they are the centre of a family. Growing up in this kind of environment, going with the coddling of parents，most of them have not learned how to cooperate with others but get the habit of selfish. Many students graduate from university and go to work, and they may make a excellent work when they work solely, however, when they are work together, many conflict will be caused and the effiency of work will lower. It just like what someone say ：a Chinese like a dragon, while ten Chinese like a worm. Employers often complain that the young have not learned how do work with others and how to consider others' opinions, what they alway think is merely themselves. But to accomplish a big project ,its no enough to use only the strength of individual ,we should use the strength of a large number of people.

Not know how to communicate with others is also a problem of children nowadays in China.With the development of technology, TV and computer ,at least TV, have entry nearly all the families of China. In this case, children no longer go out to play with friends, but use so many time to watch TV or play computer games at home that they become not good at thinking and commucation, which is thought to be the basic ability of a person. Many youth today doesn't know how to talk with their relatives and friends, not to speak of telling their boss what they think and what they have done. How can a person who can't communicate with other people let others know what a person he or she is? How can this kind of person live and work stably in society?

In a word, the shortcomings of the young ,although not all the youth , indicate that we, especially the teachers and the parents haven't know how to raise children who can lead to a better society.

墨斗鱼UID: 177024

A person's socialization means he or she master the basic knowledge and ability of liveing and working ,for example, making diner, the commensence of live, cooperation and communication and so on. A person who want to existe in the society, he or she [语法错误】 has to been well socialized. And the children are the future of a[去掉] society, the social destiny of future is based on the what the children do in future in society, such as how they live and how they work. Thus, the socialization of children is so important that it can determine the distiny of society. Unfortunately, most of the parents and teachers have not learned this. In other words, most of them have [加not]yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.[感觉你的开头有点绕，我还是比较喜欢那种简单的开头。还有觉得观点的提出最好用自己的语言，不要照抄原题，呵呵菜鸟意见]

Being short of the the[?] ability of taking care of themselves, take washing clothes and making diner for example, is one of defects of children, now in China. Many children until they are 18 years old[chiglish的感觉] ,still have not washed clothes by themselves once; Many children until going to college, do not how to cook the meal, even a fried egg. In a summer camp organised[注意拼写错误] by China and Japan [有这样说的吗，第一次见] in 1992, Chinese students' shortage in this area had been clearly shown. All of the Japanese children can cook a delicious meal on their own out of doors, while most of Chinese children can only stand and look at others. A Chinese student explained that he lived with his grandma and she didn't allow he to do any housework at home because he should use most time to study. A person who can not do any housework ,how can he cook his meal in the open air ,and how can he exist in the society and play a part in society in future?

Laking the ability of cooperation is another problems of the children presently in China. A large part of children are the one and only child at home, so they are the centre of a family. Growing up in this kind of environment, going with the coddling of parents，most of them have not learned how to cooperate with others but get the habit of selfish. Many students graduate from university and go to work, and they may make a excellent work when they work solely, however, when they are work together, many conflict will be caused and the effiency of work will lower. It just like what someone say ：a Chinese like a dragon, while ten Chinese like a worm. Employers often complain that the young have not learned how do work with others and how to consider others' opinions, what they alway think is merely themselves. But to accomplish a big project ,its no enough to use only the strength of individual ,we should use the strength of a large number of people.

Not know how to communicate with others is also a problem of children nowadays in China.With the development of technology, TV and computer ,at least TV, have entry nearly all the families of China. In this case, children no longer go out to play with friends, but use so many time to watch TV or play computer games at home that they become not good at thinking and commucation, which is thought to be the basic ability of a person. Many youth today doesn't know how to talk with their relatives and friends, not to speak of telling their boss what they think and what they have done. How can a person who can't communicate with other people let others know what a person he or she is? How can this kind of person live and work stably in society?

In a word, the shortcomings of the young ,although not all the youth , indicate that we, especially the teachers and the parents haven't know how to raise children who can lead to a better society.52[/SIZE]

不好意思 没能看完你的全文，感觉你有点跑题，建议你还是在仔细考虑题目。而且你的每一段都没有提出一个鲜明topic，仅仅是摆了一大堆的孩子们存在的缺陷，尤其是拿中国孩子和日本孩子比较，感觉好像日本解决好了 中国没解决好，和题目没多大关系。


还有你最好先将自己的文章在word里改拼写和语法错误 ，再贴上来，我第一次也是这样被人家说了

bigdouUID: 193522

谢谢楼上的意见，很中肯！
我自己也觉得对这个题目把握得不是很好。
一，社会化的含义较难把握。
二，不知该从哪个方面来论述“我们还没学会怎样教育儿童”。我本意是想通过列出中国儿童
    现在的一些缺点，来证明“我们还没学会怎样教育儿童”，但细想好像也不是很妥。
希望大家能提些建议。