argument2第一篇请斧正

tieren201500UID: 177122

这是第一篇，但是自己总觉得内容很空洞，写得也很不顺，希望大家给点意见。谢谢。！！

Argument2
The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community’s yards should be land scaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and house paingting.

In this argument, the arguer takes the tripling of the average property values in Brookville seven years ago as an example to support his view that it will work if Deerhaven takes the same policy as Brookville did. It looks reasonable if you just take a tour on the surface of the phenomenon that happened in Brookville. But at the second glance, you will find that this argument is not thoroughly proved.

First of all, it is unfair that the tripling of the average property values is the result of the new set of restrictions on landscaping and house-painting in Brookville, for there might be some other reasons leading to the tripling. For example, a reasonable living system might be one reason which attracts the customers to live in Brookville. Anyway, people prefer living in a convenient life condition. Also, the transportation, the price and the quality of the houses and the attraction of the after service should be taken into consideration. For that, people can buy a house, around which they will have no problem of going to work and the preparing of the articles of everyday use will be out of trouble, with less money.

In addition, even if the new restrictions on landscaping and house-painting was the cause of the tripling of the average property values in Brookville, it is still one-side to be sure that the policy in Brookville will work in Deer haven Acres. That’s because of the differences between the tow cities. The different location, the weather, the life style of the people in Deerhaven Acres and the level of expense will make so a different environment of housing market and that is to say, it won’t be strange if the people in Deerhaven Acres can’t accept or afford the house.

Furthermore, as we all know, changing is the law of the nature. We should never hope that a restriction on house-painting and landscaping adopted seven years ago will work in these changing ages. Because the appreciation of the beautiful of the people changes so fast that it is likely that the houses in same color and style will never drive people’s attention. A house which will show its owner’s characteristic will be acceptable in these days. Because the citizens are so independent that in everyday life they prefer to make themselves different from others.

   In sum, if the arguer wants to improve that the restriction of landscaping and house-painting adopted in Brookville will also work in Deer haven Acres, he should provide more evidences to support his claim. And do more research of the housing and customer market.

乒乓球爱上九月UID: 162925

互改一下?
http://211.151.90.54/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=249290

cathyantUID: 193285

living system 指什么啊?For that, people can buy a house, around which they will have no problem of going to work and the preparing of the articles of everyday use will be out of trouble, with less mon直接说要个超市什么的不就完了?
我是蚂蚁 我是新手 欢迎你给我提意见 结对子
https://bbs.gter.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=249546

tieren201500UID: 177122

真是感谢你，那个living system我指的是和住房配套的一系列的设施，就像小区异样的感觉，包括学校，商店，银行等等。。
我再改改，在发上来。
大家多多给我提意见，再留下你们的帖子地址，我也会拼命帮你们改的。
大家互相帮助麻。