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Issue177 第2篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧!
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作者:寄托家园作文版普通用户 共用时间:45分2秒 424 words
从2005年1月21日21时43分到2005年1月21日22时45分
------题目------
The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes.
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In the era of rapid academic progress leading to great scientific and social change, [U]both the perspective and the methods of the world from people [/U] 不通 have been advanced and perfected to some extent.如果是同意观点 注意题目说的是different
Obviously, academic disciplines provide [U]those learners[/U]those指代前文什么? with new perspectives, which turn out to enlarge their knowledge and information as well.这句话和题目的论点没有区别,至少从ts上看不出来. As we all know, individuals often make a holistic picture of a academic discipline when they obtain the related information and knowledge of this discipline, [U]through a series of steps of learning such as listening to what the professors teach, reading recommended books, talking with classmates.[/U] 这和中心无关啊???你需要解释为什么 Ms Li, my professor on analytical chemistry, once mentioned (and I paraphrase): " The goal of academic studying is to bring every learners to the top of the hill to see as far as possible the frame of the whole discipline. Moreover, different disciplines have unique ways of seeing and solving problems in their own research aspects, [B]and thus learners disciplines usually cannot help from influenced by those disciplines that whenever they encounter some realistic problems they can turn to these perspectives for help.[/B] 这句话没有看懂 For example, the structure of DNA, an important macromolecule on life science, has not been certified until biologists leant some valuable perspectives in their advanced education on physics and chemistry. Without illuminations from these disciplines, it is of great difficulty and possibility to attain such profound achievement early in the 1970s. In brief, various perspectives from different disciplines enlarge perspectives of individuals so that they can see the world in a new way.
论证部分没有看懂 不要仅仅重复你的观点 你的分论点不就是文章的观点么
[U]The above is only part of the reasons and another one with the equal significance is that [/U] 到这里的话都可以不要 academic disciplines bring the learners technological method and possibility?科技可能?不通 at the same time. [U]Common senses tell us that there exist so many technological methods such as the equipment that individuals seldom master all of them. Thus, only through the study of related academic discipline can individuals acquire these methods. [/U]说的太饶了,直接说通过学习displine可以获得method. 这句话不是重点,而是要说为什么通过新的手段我们对世界的看法或者角度改变了 Technology has been playing a great role ever since, from the microscope to the spaceship. People always have some interesting viewpoints or ideas, but only those that are compatible to the present technology methods and conditions make senses. People may dream of flying like a bird in the ancient times, but all these do not come true until the invention of airplane.
To conclude, not only the academic disciplines provide various perspectives but technological methods. Taking into all the factors outlined above, I strongly commit to the notion that the importance of academic disciplines lies ate least in both aspects as mentioned.
body的第一个分论点有问题,需要重新理个提纲.另外论证不够well-rounded 需要再练
我因为事情耽误了,抱歉,希望能看到你和别人讨论作文. |
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