Issue57 我的第一篇：写了一晚上，改了一上午:(帮忙看看吧多谢了

rsrsUID: 146479

536 words
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The depth of knowledge to be gained from books is much richer and broader than what can be learned from direct experience.
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提纲
1.表明观点：书本知识((b)很重要很有用，但直接经验(e)也有很多优点,二者应该结合
2.书中知识广博，却也是从经验中获得。举例说明
3. 4 不同领域中b 和 e的作用
5.结论：b不比e强，二者往往结合，不该过分偏袒其中任一方

In the spread and development of human civilization, books play an important role. Learning from a book is, indeed, an efficient way of gaining knowledge. Therefore the speaker's assertion correctly points out the importance of books in expanding one's depth of knowledge, though over-emphasized. Actually, direct experience is the resource of book knowledge, and also has some incomparable advantages. Sometimes they two collaborate to create new knowledge. So, as discussed below, the books do not own preponderance toward direct experience.

One may attribute his broad knowledge to the books he read. This is partly because we do not have the chance to experience many things, and partly because some knowledge in the book is abstracted or concluded from considerable experience. For example, without related books, people living in temperate zone can hardly know what is aurora, unless they travel to Polar Regions. But even residents in Polar Regions may not all know that the generation of the aurora is related to the magnetic field of the earth, if they never learn this from others or books. The existence of the magnetic field of the earth can also explain other phenomenon around us, such as why the compass always points to a constant direction. In fact, it is the exact phenomenon promotes people to find the principle. This example reflects the magic of book knowledge. Yet it reminds us that even book knowledge itself is based on experience.

In some categories of knowledge, books can provide more information than direct experience does; in some others they fail to do so. In the field of science, from books we learn knowledge accumulated and reorganized by our ancestors, which abandons wrong impression to avoid false conclusion. But experimental classes are also assigned for science students to intense their understanding of theories. The researchers even need more experiment to improve human’s knowledge. When book knowledge and direct experience are conjunct, creative knowledge is likely to be given birth. Sir Isaac Newton, one of the greatest scientists once admitted his achievement was based on former scientists’ knowledge. At the same time, his discovery of universal gravitation was in the light of his observation of fallen apples.

Books appear to be unnecessary in some fields. In sports, such as playing basketball, the efforts made by throwing the ball for numerous times are obviously better than reading a “How to Play Basketball” book. Playing to the score is also required in games, yet books can not tell you how to deal with so various situations. In arts, we can not imagine that a painter never draws, a sculptor never curves, or a musician never plays. Instead, even if they do not learn their skills from books, it is acceptable. And those top business schools only accept applicants with working experience, while, however, in what major field they studied is not important. All these facts show us that, in some aspects, direct experience offers us richer depth of knowledge.

In conclusion, the speaker underestimates the knowledge that can be provided by direct experience. And the above discussion also represents the strong connection between book knowledge and experience. Therefore, strong bias towards either of them is unfair.

lisploreUID: 195645

In the spread and development of human civilization, books play an important role. Learning from a book is, indeed, an efficient way of gaining knowledge. Therefore the speaker's assertion correctly points out the importance of books in expanding one's depth of knowledge, though over-emphasized. Actually, direct experience is the resource of book knowledge, and also has some incomparable advantages. Sometimes they two collaborate to create new knowledge. So, as discussed below, the books do not own preponderance toward direct experience.

One may attribute his broad knowledge to the books he read. This is partly because we do not have the chance to experience many things, and partly because some knowledge in the book is abstracted or concluded from considerable experience. For example, without related books, people living in temperate zone can hardly know what is aurora, unless they travel to Polar Regions. But even residents in Polar Regions may not all know that the generation of the aurora is related to the magnetic field of the earth, if they never learn this from others or books.^这里应该有一个明显的转折标记 The existence of the magnetic field of the earth can also explain other phenomenon around us, such as why the compass always points to a constant direction. In fact, it is the exact phenomenon promotes people to find the principle. This example reflects the magic of book knowledge. Yet it reminds us that even book knowledge itself is based on experience.

In some categories of knowledge, books can provide more information than direct experience does; in some others they fail to do so. In the field of science, from books we learn knowledge accumulated and reorganized by our ancestors, which abandons wrong impression to avoid false conclusion.这里你忽略了书中也有错误会误导人这一点。毕竟要求一个完整的轮述嘛 But experimental classes are also assigned for science students to intense their understanding of theories. The researchers even need more experiment to improve human’s knowledge. When book knowledge and direct experience are conjunct, creative knowledge is likely to be given birth. Sir Isaac Newton,Newton这人人品不太好，当然这并不妨碍放在这里做例子，呵呵，题外话了。 one of the greatest scientists once admitted his achievement was based on former scientists’ knowledge. At the same time, his discovery of universal gravitation was in the light of his observation of fallen apples.

Books appear to be unnecessary in some fields. In sports, such as playing basketball, the efforts made by throwing the ball for numerous times are obviously better than reading a “How to Play Basketball” book.这样说未免过于绝对，我可以反驳说那是因为你那本“How to Play Basketball”写得不实用。 Playing to the score is also required in games, yet books can not tell you how to deal with so various situations. In arts, we can not imagine that a painter never draws, a sculptor never curves, or a musician never plays. Instead, even if they do not learn their skills from books, it is acceptable. And those top business schools only accept applicants with working experience, while, however, in what major field they studied is not important. All these facts show us that, in some aspects, direct experience offers us richer depth of knowledge.

In conclusion, the speaker underestimates the knowledge that can be provided by direct experience. And the above discussion also represents the strong connection between book knowledge and experience. Therefore, strong bias towards either of them is unfair.

这种旧瓶装旧酒的文章确实很难写出特色来，本文也无可避免地重复一些老套观点。作为GRE作文，这样写固然是没有问题的，但似乎有些论证不够完整。

比如第四段说e很重要是因为b在某些情况下根本就没用。这里我觉得你可以少许重复一下“2.书中知识广博，却也是从经验中获得。”的观点，这样既把这里的论证说全了，又有一种回应的效果。然后主要的论证用的是例证，说得是MBA招生的问题，其中提到“however, in what major field they studied is not important”就不太妥当，当然明白你想说学的东西都是无用的，所以书本知识无用啊。毕竟这种说法是不恰当的，不如不提及也罢。同时，用招生作为例子，必然要提到其说明的意义，而不是说，你看招生的时候派不上用处，这些东西则是无用的！而应该是，那些学校招生的时候重视工作经历的现象表明e确实对一个人是有很大意义的。

像这样的题目通常会从问题论证的完整性去评价。

lisploreUID: 195645

阿亚忘记看你的标题了，原来是“写了一晚上，改了一上午”，辛苦辛苦。

rsrsUID: 146479

呵呵，多谢
辛苦不要紧啊，关键是效果啊，……