issue130 教育类，欢迎拍砖，必回拍，谢谢~~~

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

------题目------
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
------正文------
It is true that the way children are socialized determines the destiny of society. However, I do not full agree that we do not know how to raise them to bring about a better world.

The process of being socialized is to prepare one for social life, which may determine the destiny of society. When a baby was born, he was self-centered. He lives in his own world and does not know the social life at all. Then, when he grows up and enters school, his parents and teachers may help him to get along with each other. In this case, he will learn how to share, communicate, negotiate and compromise with each other, during which he will get rid of the self-centered world and come to understand the social life. Moreover, with the time going, he will also feel and learn social values such as mutual respect, sense of responsibility, cooperation, sympathy, love and tolerance. He learns all these social values during the process of education and his own experience. In addition, when children have these social values they will know the effects of war, conflict and disease and try to eliminate them. Therefore, it is true that the way children are socialized determines the way they behave and further determines the destiny of society. And our education is trying to make them socialized.

Furthermore, we have known how to raise children to bring about a better world. Schools and parents begin to prepare children for social life since they were young, which makes them to bring a better world in the future. For example, now discrimination is considered against the law in some countries, which makes it equal for different races. And there is no world war for more than half a century, which means people are willing to have a peace instead of wars. Also the new technological innovations make the world as global village and people from different parts of the world cooperate in various fields together. Additionally, the governments are making every effort to improve people's living standards and provide social welfares for their citizen. All these achievements reflect that we have a better society than before, in which the way children are socialized plays a vital role. Thus, we have, to some extent, learned to raise children to bring a better society and now we are indeed living a better society than before.

Admittedly, in some cases the society is not getting better. There still exist violence, poverty and incurable diseases in the world. For example, school violence take place from time to time in some schools. Terrorist attacks never stop in the Middle East. Moreover, poverty is becoming the world problem. The gap between developed countries and those countries in Africa is becoming widening and widening and there is no sign to get narrowing. Also some diseases such ADIS still threaten people's lives. We still confront all these problems and presently do not have an effective and efficient way to solve them. Hence, in some particular cases, we do not know how to raise children to conquer these problems and bring a better society.

To sum up, it is true that how children are socialized determines the destiny of society and we have succeed to prepare children for social life and make them bring a better society in many fields of the world. However, in some particular cases social problems still exist and we do not have a effective way to raise children to get rid of these problems

chenh1207UID: 182826

------题目------
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
------正文------
It is true that the way children are socialized determines the destiny of society. However, I do not full agree that we do not know how to raise them to bring about a better world.【题目是children who can help bring about a better society,而这里是to raise children to bring about a better society，是不是有点问题？】

The process of being socialized 【for children】is to prepare one for social life, which may determine the destiny of society. When a baby was born, he was self-centered. He lives【lived】 in his own world and does【didn’t】not know the social life at all. Then, when he grows【grew】 up and enters【entered】 school, his parents and teachers may【might】 help him to get along with each other. In this case, he will learn how to share, communicate, negotiate and compromise with each other【others】, during 【this period】 which he will get rid of the self-centered world and come to understand the social life. Moreover, with the time going, he will also feel and learn social values such as mutual respect, sense of responsibility, cooperation, sympathy, love and tolerance. He learns all these social values during the process of education and his own experience. In addition, when children have these social values they will know the effects of war, conflict and disease and try to eliminate them.【they will get to socialize with the community and the world，including to protest the abuse of wars and sponsor the fund of the new medicine against the disease】 Therefore, it is true that the way children are socialized determines the way they 【will】behave 【in the future】 and further determines【influence】 the destiny of society. And 【as far as I am concerned】our education is trying to make them socialized.【这段应该加上对社会的影响的这一论述，因为‘which may determine the destiny of society’没有充分展开】

Furthermore, we have known how to raise children to bring about a better world. Schools and parents begin to prepare children for social life since they were young, which makes them to bring a better world in the future. For example, now discrimination is considered against the law in some countries, which makes it equal for different races. And there is no world war for more than half a century, which means people are willing to have a peace instead of wars. Also the new technological innovations make the world as global village and people from different parts of the world cooperate in various fields together. Additionally, the governments are making every effort to improve people's living standards and provide social welfares for their citizen. All these achievements reflect that we have a better society than before, in which the way children are socialized plays a vital role. Thus, we have, to some extent, learned to raise children to bring a better society and now we are indeed living a better society than before.【你是想通过结果的成功来验证教育的成功吗，但我觉得是不是应该加上具体的教育方法，如社区的义务劳动或者假期实习等等】

Admittedly, in some cases the society is not getting better. There still exist violence, poverty and incurable diseases in the world. For example, school violence take place from time to time in some schools. Terrorist attacks never stop in the Middle East. Moreover, poverty is becoming the world problem. The gap between developed countries and those countries in Africa is becoming widening and widening and there is no sign to get narrowing. Also some diseases such ADIS still threaten people's lives. We still confront all these problems and presently do not have an effective and efficient way to solve them. Hence, in some particular cases, we do not know how to raise children to conquer these problems and bring a better society.【这段的手段是让步，可是目的是使你的TS更加充分，所以最后也应该回到人们已经懂得如何教育孩子这一论点上】

To sum up, it is true that how children are socialized determines the destiny of society and we have succeed to prepare children for social life and make them bring a better society in many fields of the world. However, in some particular cases social problems still exist and we do not have a effective way to raise children to get rid of these problems。【however这一句好像与主题无关，而且上一段已经做过让步了，结尾应深化主题，即对孩子的教育是一个持续的过程，人们不断认识与不断改进，而正是在这过程使得我们的社会愈加完美和和谐。。。。。】
希望大家共同进步！

nickaaronleeUID: 183378

谢谢chenh1207的意见，我再修改一下：）

chenxgUID: 183868

先占个座，晚上回来改